How Do You Stop a NAIL BITER?

I was a terrible nail biter. I didn't stop until I went to college. Grandma and Grandpa even tried to bribe me with money to stop. I just couldn't, internal worries and stress, feeling judged and self judgment. I have a great way to do it now though, it's called EFT (emotional freedom technique) http://www.emofree.com
Love, L.

Nail biting is not just a bad habit. Oftentimes, it is a sign of anxiety or a need for sensory input. Try to identify when she is biting her nails -- is she bored, is she frustrated about some activity, is she nervous about something. Unless you can identify why she is doing it, other efforts will probably fail. She's likely to start some other nervous release or find a different way of satisfying her need for sensory stimulation, like biting her lip, her hair, her jacket or twirling her hair, etc.

I have an oral sensory seeker who will chew on anything available if he can't suck his thumb. We have found a cool vibrating stick and give him chewing gum when he needs the oral stimulation and the thumb sucking has virtually stopped.

I also have an anxious child. We are working on the things that make her anxious and how to calm herself so she doesn't need to bite her nails. Wanting to wear nail polish has also helped her want to find another solution.

Hope that helps.

S.

I am 9 years older than my little sister. When we were kids she was doing the same thing. It drove my mother BONKERS. I was always VERY girly girly, and my sister always wanted to emulate me. I would do my nails all the time and she would always ask me if I would do her nails. I used to tell her that if she wanted me to do her nails than she would have to stop biting them.

When she'd come to me to do her nails I would ask to check her fingers. She'd put them up for me to check and if she hadn't biten the finger nails OR the skin around them I would let her pick from my collection of nail polish. Sometimes I would do duel shades, french manicures or little designs for her. (I actually got pretty good at it lol) She always got a kick out of it and LOVED having me do her nails. It was our weekly ritual, so all week she could not bite nails or skin or I refused to do it for her. (she would get so sad, but eventually this worked!) My mother was thrilled, which made me proud lol.

I don't know if this is something that might be of interest to your daughter, but even if she is not girly girly, spending time with mom chatting and doing nails like a grown up would probably be enjoyable for her. And maybe even let her do your nails.

My sister is going to be 27 this year and has the most beautiful long nails. We actually talked about this a couple weeks ago, and she reminded me of how much she missed that and how much she had enjoyed it. She also acknowledged how it helped her to stop biting!

Good Luck!! I hope you find something that works for her. I sure you'll get some awesome suggestions!

All the advise so far has been great at stoping the nail biting. But have you tried to get to the bottom of why, she's biting them? Sometimes it's a coping mechanism to stress, anxiety, or just plain boredome. See if you can eliminate the cause first, then procede to stoping the bad habit.

C., I'm a 66 year old grandmother with a story of how I stopped biting my nails to the quick when I was a child. My mother nagged, cried, cajoled, and got angry with me but still I bit my nails until they were bloody. When I was about 9 years old my mother gave me a manicuring set and we spent some happy times together as she showed me how to do my nails. I started shaping and polishing my nails and loving the way my looked so that I stopped biting them. To this day I enjoy manicuring my nails and am even a little vain about them. Maybe a manicuring set will help distract your daughter from biting her nails. I recommend that you get her a set so she can take care of her nails herself rather than paying to have her nails done. It's wiser to give a starving person fishing lessons than to give him a fried fish to eat. Sincerely, M.

My son has always bitten his nails, and I too was very stressed about it. I have found that letting him chew gum whenever he feels the need to bite his nails helps. Maybe this will help your daughter,and in turn you.

I was always a nail biter and honestly, if I didn't wear fake nails, I still would be and I am 60. I know there is some yucky tasting stuff out there you can put on the nails but I think you would have to apply it constantly. I think nail biting goes deeper than just nail biting because if you can't bite, you will start picking. Maybe talking to a counselor or someone to find out why she is doing this might help. It's basically a nervous habit. I had a bad childhood and I think this is why I did it which is why I think it goes way deeper than just doing it. I wish you all the luck in the world in this. I finally put on the fake nails because I got tired of looking at the ugly fingernails.

Cystal:

I am not sure about the physcology behind your daughters nail biting, maybe you should take her to a therapist. I do know a way to help with the nail biting itself. Put perfume on her finger as often as possible it does not have to be strong smelling. Perfume smells good but it tastes awful. I hope everying works out and I am sorry for your loss.

L.

I bit my nails down past the quick until I was 22. My mom said she did it until she was 19... I would be sitting, reading a good book, and subconciously my hands would go to my mouth. I don't think it's anxiety or anything, it was just something to keep my hands busy!

When I turned 22, I just willed myself to stop. Once they grew long enough, I started painting them, at least with a clear coat. If I do not have nail poilish on them, to this day (I turn 30 in less than a month) I will notice my hands in my mouth at times...

I just had to be ready to do it. My mom tried putting tips on them, and acryllics, but I BIT THROUGH the acryllic, wasting my mom's money!

One thing that almost worked, but it was a constant application, was something I found at www.stopbitingnails.com the only problem was I had to apply it constantly to my nails and cuticles.

You can try to point out how much prettier hands look when they are maintained, how much nicer jewelry looks when nails are long and beautiful...

but honestly, I just stopped biting one day...

I am so very very sorry about your son. Yes, it definitely can be stress related, and I don't think there's much you can do to stop it. I'm 40 & my parents did all of those same things. I still pick at my cuticles. I only stopped biting my nails when I had braces because it hurt too much, and I got into painting them so I never took up the nail biting again.

First, let me say I am so sorry for your loss. No parent (or sibling) should ever have to know that pain. I can't begin to imagine it and I suppose it never entirely fades.

I think you've really hit on something there, though, especially if the nail biting started shortly afterwards. I bit my nails to the quick throughout my childhood. I hadn't lost a close family member, but I was always a nervous kid ... always worried about making a mistake. For me, the nail biting was about getting those rough edges all perfectly smooth/even. I'd find one end that was too long & bite it down, then it would be too short, so I'd go after the other end until I hit skin. As soon as they'd grow out just a little bit, they'd be uneven, so I'd start all over again. I think it was really just about feeling out of control ... if I could just get those nails perfectly even, I'd feel OK. Maybe your daughter is experiencing some anxiety (I'm pretty sure I would be, if I lost a loved one so tragically) and has a similar need to make some small part of her world "perfect". Has she been seeing a grief counselor? If not, maybe that would help. Even if she doesn't seem distraught, she may just be putting on a brave face, because she doesn't want to make you feel sad again. Perhaps her pediatrician can make a referral or maybe her school has some resources that might be available.

As for the lemon juice, special nail polish (tastes bitter), etc., I doubt you'll have much success with any of that, unless you get to the root emotional source of the problem. My parents didn't do the lemon juice, but it stings, anyway, when you bite your nails that far back & that never deterred me. My parents tried the nail polish & I'd just bear the bitter taste until I managed to scrape off all the polish. It wasn't until I was in my late teens that I managed to kick the habit & it was really hard & I was really motivated (vanity will sometimes work wonders). I still backslide, sometimes.

Anyway, good luck. My heart really goes out to you and your daughter.

-S. M.

Gosh, I still bite mine and I'm 50! I lost a sister at a young age, and maybe that's why. Hmm.

I feel your pain; my 3 year old does the same. As for the "bad childhood, anxiety" claims, I wouldn't think twice about it if I were you--I certainly won't! I know my daughter does it when she's bored or nervous (she's a shy one). We've tried painting with pretty nail polish, yucky tasting nail polish, timeouts; I finally talked to a pediatrician who said, depsite it being gross and annoying, it is not harmful in the least. I try to rationalize it with all the other habits she could pick up (picking her nose, hitting kids or self, etc) and suddenly, it seems a little bit more tolerable. I also think it's hilarious that it bugs my hubby 10 times as much as I do--and he bites his nails! I told him she'd probably stop when he does...and so, with his willpower, that means we'll have 2 nail biters in the family! Oh, well.

Hello, C. ~

I was a horrible nailbiter as a child and actually didn't completely break the habit until I had braces - at age 22! But, my mom had tried everything, including the nasty tasting nail solutions. She finally bribed me. =)

I was about 8-9 yrs old and would go to the salons with my mom and want to have a manicure, too. My mom told me that if I stopped biting my nails so that they were long enough, she would let me get a manicure. I did it and I got a manicure once a month (until I finally got bored with it). But it did get me to stop for a while. I think I started biting again when I was in high school because of everyday "stresses."

Anyway, just an idea. And we also made it a fun outing for mom and daughter.

I would also like to say that I am so sorry for the loss of your son. My brother died almost 7 yrs ago and while he was much older than your son, losing a sibling is awful. And seeing the pain my parents went thru/still go thru was almost unbearable. I will keep your family in my prayers.

bandaides? until she breaks the habit totally?

Hi!
I just wanted to say how sorry I am for the loss of your son. And I can't imagine what you and your daughter and family must be going through. Based on what you have said, I wouldn't be surprised if that is the reason for her biting her nails. I was just thinking that something must have caused her to start doing that when you explained the reason. Talking with her about your son is a good thing, and he should never be forgotten,but something this tragic can affect her in many ways. Maybe it would be a good idea, if you don't minds me saying so, to let her see a proffesional who could help her deal with her loss. Whether it be a therapist, a priest, someone who has lost their child, or maybe even some who has lost a sibling just like your daughter. I know that that doesn't really answer your question with the nail biting, but it might be a step closer in helping her to deal with this in another way. Maybe getting her involved with something like a sports activity or something that she is interested in will keep her a little busy so that she won't have as much time biting her nails. I don't know, I am definately no profession, but I just thought that it might give you some ideas. Even if this is what you were looking for, I do wish you and your daughter all of the best.

My daughter has been doing this since she was 2. She just turned 11 and her nails look HORRIBLE. I have tried everything as well. A week before her birthday I told her that if she stopped all the way up to her birthday I would take her for a professional manicure. She stopped. She has not touched them in almost 2 weeks now. Maybe start with a pedicure and tell her that you will take her for a manicure if she doesn't touch them for a week. I told my daughter that if she continues I will take her once a month. So, I'm hoping this works. I wish I could give you more advice!

I don't have any better advice that what has already been said, only that I am with you. I know how frustrating this must be for you to watch- but let me tell you, I was a nail biter, but once you start getting manicures and false nails to look beautiful- you start to see the light.
Counseling would also be a good option for her- that is tragic and horrible to have her go thru that when she was 6 yrs old. She needs lots of support/lots of love/lots of help. Good luck to you and yours.

I am so sorry for your loss. I really am. I can't even imagine losing my little boy. I'm just so sorry. I may be confused, but the first date you gave for the accident was 1995, then 2005. I'm sure it was just a typo. I hope you are getting the grief counselling that your family needs. I have always had long, healthy natural nails and my daughter starting biting hers, and the cuticles, after a death in the family. It could be a symptom of something, but it could also just turn into a habit that is hard to break. I took my daughter to a manicurist who massaged her arms and put cream on her hands. I let her pick any nail color and design that she wanted, on her NATURAL nails. The manicurist told her that the longer she quit biting, the longer her nails would grow and make more room for pretty designs. I said that if she chewed all that pretty polish off, I wouldn't take her to do it again. Worked like a CHARM! We eventually just had nail polish and things that we did at home so it's not like I had to take her every week. By the way, my daughter is 21 and a hair stylist/manicurist. And she has beautiful natural nails.
Try it.....it's worth a shot.

Hey C.,
I was a nail Biter forever when I was young- drove my mom crazy! She said that for both my sister and I she went to the local Pharmacy, ( and that they carried something that you would put on anyone nails that had a problem with that, and the taste of it was so bad that we both stopped). It was safe, healthy, and we never were Nail Biter's after that!! Hope that helped, and hopefully you can find a local Pharmacy to ask. I can't remember the name of it, nor can my mom. Good Luck!!

Hello Crysal,
I have a 10 year old boy that does the same thing. I found this clear polish that helped. It is called "Bite No More". He actually hates the taste of it and asks me not to put it on his nails. When I do put it on it stings really back in those open wounds around the nail from them biting the skin off. He now has nice looking nails. So I made a promise to him, that if he kept his nails nice and didn't bite them than I would not paint them. But if he even bites one they all get painted. He even goes with me now to my nail appointments and he gets his clipped and filed. Sure makes a differance. We found the product at Salley's Beauty Supplies. I hope this helps.

Blessings,

L.

try the hottest hot sauce you can find. or even chili powder

My six year old daughter used to constantly bite her fingernails, so my husband and I decided to try making her wear gloves when we noticed her biting. Since we have started doing this, she has cut way back on biting her nails. She is to the point where she will go to put her fingers in her mouth and then stop. I think having to wear the gloves when she gets caught biting has made her more concious about it when she does start to bite. Now, as for what to do when she's at school and knows that the gloves won't go on if she bites, I don't know. Good luck =)