How Do You Talk to Your Child About Death?

Simply tell them the body gets sick and will die but the spirit lives on. Grandma will always be close but they won't be able to see her any more. You can explain love doesn't die either and grandma will always love them and be watching over them.
You can also tell them something like 'when ever you see a butterfly, or (insert favorite bird) robin or hear a special song, that means grandma is sending them love or thinking of them.

don't think for a moment that there's any way to truly explain death to kids this age. people MY age are still wrestling with it. what you want to do is make sure not to overwhelm them, or give them totally wrong ideas (like they're asleep, not that anyone does that any more, i hope.)
give them tiny, tiny snippets. 'grandma is very sick, and the doctors are pretty sure she can't get better. when she dies we won't be able to see her any more but we'll always remember her and love her.' and wait for questions. answer them as they arise, directly and honestly but very, very simply.
they won't understand. but this will put down a good foundation for them to build and develop their comprehension about death as they grow.
some parents try to cushion the blow by 'preparing' kids in advance, but there's just not really a way to do that. open the door, answer the questions, and catch them when they fall into sorrow, or mistaken ways to try to grasp it.
i'm so sorry for you, my dear. this is so tough. best wishes to you all.
khairete
S.

My children grew up in and around funeral homes, that is my ex's family's business. I can assure you children only understand what they are capable of understanding. There is no magic bullet, there is no way you can word it that they will understand in spite of what book sellers may tell you.

You tell them what they need to know, not what you want them to understand, it just doesn't work that way.

I can tell you that people thought my children at 3 and 5 understood death perfectly. After all they behaved like adults in a funeral home. It was just not the case, they knew how to act in a funeral home, they knew how others acted but until they were older they did not really understand why people acted as they did. I am really not sure at what age they actually understood.

Tell them what they need to know, she is dying and will no longer be with us. Then shut up. Let them work through it with their limited understanding and then they will have questions. Answer them, and then shut up. If there are more questions answer then and then shut up. If you try to add more you will just confuse them and give them more than they can handle.

I would just be honest about it, death is a part of life.

My father in law passed away when my daughter was 1.5 and my older brother passed when she was 3 so this is something she has been exposed to at a young age. It is always sad to lose someone, so teach your children to be thankful for the time they have spent with their grandmother.

I would help them to not be afraid of death, but that will be up to your own faith/beliefs.

My kids were very close to those ages when one of my dads passed away. I told them that he died. I told them that we should hold on to all of our happy memories of him, because that keeps him close in our hearts. Then I told them that we were going to a big party to celebrate his life and how much we all loved him. My older one still talks about the party, he had a blast with all the cousins!! At this age, we are sticking with matter of fact. We all have a life, then we die. My older son asked me recently what it was like when you are dead and I told him exactly like before you were born. That worked for him to ponder for a while :).

It's going to be painful for them, no matter what you do. The are going to grieve. Death is a part of life, and even with preparation, it's going to be difficult for them. One of my daughter's favorite aunts was murdered (alongside her mother, with her father pulling the trigger, ten blowing off his own head) when my daughter was five, and my daughter's dad and I had to navigate that emotional minefield with a kindergartner.
If you believe in some sort of afterlife, you can comfort them with the idea that now Granny is in Heaven/Valhalla/Summerland, or whatever celestial realm you believe in.
Beyond that, just let them feel what they feel, and let them know that their feelings are normal.

Our son was a few months over 3 when his grandfather died.
We just told him Grandpa is in heaven now - he didn't understand - he just wanted to run and play with his younger toddler cousin.
There's no way a 3 yr old can understand - they just want to play - and they don't understand why everybody is sad.
5 yr old can understand a little better but not by much.
Grownups tie themselves in knots about how to explain - they are having a hard time understanding it themselves.

I'm very sorry to hear of your mom's diagnosis.

Kids are resilient though and will follow your lead. Keep your explanation simple and just answer their questions.

My son passed away when my daughter was not quite 3. She is 17 today and thriving. My daughter probably helped keep me going through his death far more than I helped her. Kids are great!

Take care of yourself during this time. <<hugs>>

We told DS that just like things people sometimes get worn out and can't be fixed or too sick and can't heal. Then they die.

He asked if people can be recycled like cans. We spoke about organ donation.

He asked if people still hurt when they are dead. I said best we know they don't feel a thing.

He then offered that all the dinosaurs are dead. God made them extinct because God loves us and some dinosaurs ate meat and God doesn't want us to be eaten. Theology and evolution in a kid's world view.

Sorry to hear of your mom's status. Maybe you can make a memory book/ scrap book with her for the kids. It might give them some comfort after she is gone.

Best
F. B.

Christian idea.

When we come to earth as a baby we're a spirit. (Show them a hand). Then when we're born/conceived/etc...we have a body (Put a glove on that hand). We live life and one day we die. (Take glove off the hand). And our spirit is free again. We can watch over our family still on earth, we can go to heaven, we can......what ever you decide to teach your children.

I honestly can't imagine being an atheist and telling the kids anything about death. I can't imagine the fear and horror that a child would feel hearing from mom or dad or someone that they'll never see those family members again and that if they died today they'd cease to exist. To me, if I didn't believe in afterlife I'd not know what to tell the kids.