How Do You Tell Your Mom Your Pregnant?

Updated on January 09, 2010
C.D. asks from Live Oak, FL
19 answers

I am just curious as to how you ladies told your moms that you were pregnant. My hubby and I have found ourselves pregnant again and I am holding off on telling my mom cause I know how she'll react. I know that she'll start off on the fact that I should have had my tubes tied and all this and I really just want to avoid this. Any suggestions will be welcomed.

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So What Happened?

Just wanted to let all you ladies know that I emailed my mom to let her know that I was pregnant again. And to my surprise, she is very happy for me. I am so glad. My mom and I have always been very close and it really made my day today when I read her response. I also found a great doc in Gainesville that is by the Oaks Mall there. I am so glad that things are going good for me so far.

More Answers

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V.A.

answers from Tallahassee on

Hi C.! Congratulations! I stopped at 4, because I just knew that I would keep having more, if I didn't have a tubal, but I had 4 children before I turned 27 all 1 year and 1/2 apart, and yes people are going to react "You're pregnant again!?", or "Buy a t.v.!" Or something along those lines. It happened to me anyway. But don't concern yourself to much with that. Children are truly a blessing from God and I know your mom might not be too excited when you tell her, but when that beautiful baby comes, well, you know how Grandmas get :)
I would recommend telling her now so she has time to prepare her mind for 5. It's also better for your relationship to show her that you want to be open and honest with her.
Take care and may you keep God first!
V.

1 mom found this helpful
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S.R.

answers from Tampa on

Hello Chastity,

I was pretty much in the same boat. I had three little boys. Then, surprise, I found out I was pregnant again last New Year's. It was supposed to be a joke. Hubby said I was cranky and asked if I was sure I wasn't pregnant, so I took a test to prove to him that I was just bi---y. Oops. We weren't planning on any more children. In the past, I had been all excited to tell my parents. This time, however, I dreaded it. I had actually made an appointment for a hysterectomy and instead it turned into my first prenatal visit.

Anyway, when I told my mother, she laughed at me, not an "I told you so" kind of laugh, more of an "It's just your luck" kind of laugh. From that point she was incredibly supportive. Especially when I started having difficulties. She did not let me down. I felt bad for thinking that she would chastise me. I guess, when it comes to parents, even grown we still feel like kids.

Give her a chance. She might surprise you. It's one thing to warn you against having another baby before you're pregnant. It's totally different when the reality of another grandchild sets in. Everyone can only do the best they can. Hopefully, she will rise up and make the best of the situation. Congratulations.

1 mom found this helpful

C.W.

answers from Lynchburg on

Dear Chastity-

I was very much in YOUR situation when I found out I was pregnant with our sixth...I delayed telling my mom...and then we found out it was TWINS!!

Anyway...my mom's best friend since child hood had seven kids...and I decided to share the news with my mom when 'mrs. m' was visiting!

My mom was concerned...but VERY supportive! Now that the kids are older (20 down to 13 year old twins)...she REALLY enjoys them!

Blessings to you...I know things will work out!

Take care
michele/cat

1 mom found this helpful
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R.A.

answers from Boca Raton on

Congrats on your pregnancy. Sorry to hear your mom isn't supportive. Luckily you're married and an adult and don't need her approval but it's always nice isn't it? Just remember you can't change people but hope for the best.

As far as your delivery goes, you are an expert and I strongly suggest a midwife instead so you can be in a positive environment with your loved ones. I have a WONDERFUL midwife Connie Mullen ###-###-####
You will NOT be sorry if you chose to let her assist you in your birth, rather than allow a dr to deliver for you. You should be in control of your own delivery.
http://www.conniemullenmidwife.com/

Check her out even if you don't decide to go with her... My negative mother was horrified when I told her I was not only having a home birth but at her house (big tub) but she was SOOOOOO impressed when all was said and done, she kept bragging to her friends and tipped Connie big time.
It's much less expensive than hospital birth too. So much more risk of something going wrong in a hospital too.

Good luck!

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P.O.

answers from Jacksonville on

C., do you depend on your M. for babysitting, finances, etc. If so, I could see why she might lecture you, but if none of that is true, then why worry. You are an adult, you are married, and it's a decision you and your husband made, so even if she thinks you should have tubes tied, she will adjust. Children are a blessing whether one or ten...

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L.H.

answers from Tampa on

first and for most congratulations!!! To your question before you tell her you and the family of yours should know (im just reminding you here=) ..) thats this new family member that'll be joining you its a gift from god! How many couples out there try so hard to have a child and they cant yet you are being blessed with one more to the addition. So be thankful for that! When i was born they weren't expecting me and they already had a girl(my parents) so having another one to top it off they weren't that happy (my dads side) anyhow years years later now im still their favorite after all this. This child thats coming in could be your moms favorite weather by being there for her or ex. You should not be shaken by your mothers words. If you know how she's going to react sit her down in the private first and you tell her of how happy your family is and that she should not say anything that will leave a mark for years to come. Tell her that she wont be the one supporting that child, nor taking care of it and that your whole inner family is exited about it. Lets face it children are just angels and all they'll want is to be loved and they'll repay it back once they're older more then enough. I wish you the best just sand your ground know how you feel about this pregnancy before you talk to your mother so know matter what she says (bad) it wont go to that0 heart of yours! may peace and blessing be upon you wish you all the best!

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J.C.

answers from Fort Myers on

When I got pregnant I was 22 and a senior in college and I knew i'd get the "16 and pregnant" lechture from my mom so I was super paranoid to tell my parents too! But what I ended up doing was telling her the whole truth! The night before I took the at home test I had this dream about ne and my daughter (although I had no kids) and seemed SO real that it scared me into taking a test and low and behold I was, infact pregnant. So I called my mom to tell her about the dream ( and not the test) to get her reaction and she seemed happy an told me about a dream she had about a grandson a few weeks before so I wnt Head and told her about the test... Well then I got the lechture. What about school and money and blah blah and am I funna marry my b/f. So I just said, look mom, I'm happy about it so could you try to be too? And that was it! She was!
My daughter is 2 1/2 now and looks very much like the girl in my dream....

B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

It took my husband and me a long time to get pregnant. We were cautious because we weren't sure we'd stay pregnant. We told her when I was about 10 weeks along, and she was thrilled. My husband wrote a cute poem about an order being placed with the stork and me being on the nest. It was so cute!

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T.M.

answers from Miami on

It really does not matter at this poing what your mom thinks because you have your own family now and that decision should be made between you and your husband. If I was in your situation i would not tell her right away, well she would now when she see my belly poking out... lol.. but that is just me. You really dont need any additional stress.... having a baby is hard work already. Wishing you all the best.

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N.R.

answers from Lakeland on

I don't know how to tell your mom - I've only been pregnant once - not too close with my mom - my big mouth sister told her before I could, and I got a note in the mail - about 6 months later - "I heard that you were pregnant",,,,,,uh - hello -was STILL pregnant at that time.

Anyway - if you haven't already found a great Dr. - I don't know where you are located, but I can HIGHLY HIGHLY recommend Dr. Jeannie McWhorter @ Arnold Palmer in Orlando. Her office is on West Miller Street in Orlando directly across from A/P hospital. I had a terrible terrible pregnancy - with alot of complications - a so called "high risk expert" in Lakeland was a complet bung hole and I despised him! I ran into someone else that had that same experience there - and I had heard great things about the perinatologist @ A/P - (recommendations from Naples AND Winter Haven!) - I don't like the "assembly line" offices where you see 8 or 9 different docs over the course of the pregnancy - and they let me see only her AND one of her nurse midwife practicioners - they were FANTASTIC! Good luck!

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A.G.

answers from Orlando on

I am 32 and expecting baby #5. My mom was not too thrilled to hear the news as I expected and I felt the same way you do about telling her. I understand she was just concerned about me and my future. Finances being tight. I would just be honest and as someone mentioned bring it up in a very positive way and honestly say I know you might be concerned because of xyz but we are excited about our newest addition to the family and I hope you can share that joy with me. Then be ready to accept her reaction as her way of loving you and let it go. Once the baby is born she will come around.

About the obgyn I had such bad experiences with my first two deliveries as well. I had my last baby at a birthing center and it was wonderful. I plan to have this baby at a birthing center as well, I plan for a water birth this time. Look into birthing centers in your area. They are usually covered by insurance and are much cheaper than hospital birth. If you have any questions or concerns about it feel free to msg me offline. It makes such a difference and since this might be your last birth, you might as well make it a good experience - u deserve it!

Good luck to you!
A.

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H.C.

answers from Boca Raton on

Chastity -

Congrats to you and your family on your wonderful news! I know it's easier said than done, but you can't worry about your Mom right now - she'll come along.

As far as an OB, Dr. Michael Fleisher delivered my daughter and son and he is wonderful. You don't indicate where you live, but he delivers at East Boca and West Boca. His office is at 660 Glades Road across from FAU - ###-###-####. He and his staff are all very caring and wonderful. I have recommended him to several people and they have all had a positive experience. Good luck and enjoy your beautiful family!

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R.S.

answers from Tampa on

Let me tell you something on a different subject and see if it helps. Everytime I asked my mom and step dad to watch my kids, they declined. Eventually I stopped asking. Several months later my mom asks me why I won't let her watch my kids and I explain to her kindly that the last few times she didn't respond well, so I quit asking. My thoughts here are don't tell her, let her figure it out and when she ask why you did't tell her, tell her the truth, you did't want the lecture. Don't know if this will work for you, but good luck.

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M.L.

answers from Tampa on

Ha ha, I had the same dilemma! My mom kept telling me after my second baby "Make sure you don't get pregnant again, get an IUD, etc" (because of financial reasons at the time), so I was TERRIFIED to tell her. She had her suspicions though long before I actually told her and was surprisingly really supportive. For me, my last pregnancy was a total surprise and at the time, not what I wanted, so I told her how much I needed her support and it wasn't planned but it happened and we are welcoming it. Because she had her suspicions, she had been asking my sister about it, and my sister kinda said, well what if she was? and asked her how she would react? My sister told he she didn't know if I was, but if I was, then they needed to only be supportive and never say anything bad. So, when I told her, that is exactly what I got. I don't know if she said anything negative to my sister, but she never did to me! Good luck and congrats!

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K.B.

answers from Sarasota on

Congrats on the new bun in the oven . I have 4 girls . Sorry about ur mom and her not being a happy . The ob/gyn i used is Paul leichner , He is great and very gentle . Located on beeridge , medical center the big brick building after wendy's . Good luck

J.M.

answers from Orlando on

First of all, congratulations on the pregnancy. I'm so sorry you are afraid your mom won't be supportive. I'd just make sure to preface your news with something like, "We have happy news!" or "We're so excited to tell you that we are welcoming Baby #5 into our family!" That way she will know that you are happy about this pregnancy. Good luck!

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S..

answers from Orlando on

You have 3 daughters so think about them. Wouldn't you want them to tell you? Unless you are asking your mom for financial help, it isn't really her place to judge you on how many kids you and your husband decide to have. Pretend she will be happy about it, since children as a blessing and just tell her in a POSITIVE way that you will have another addition to your family

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L.A.

answers from Orlando on

Bummmer! I'm sorry that you're not looking forward to telling your mom about this exciting news. Do you know why she will react negatively? Are your finances such that she thinks you can't afford one? If so, maybe you can explain why this isn't so. Or, you could show her your plans on how you are going to make it financially work.
Whatever her reasons are, I hope you don't take it to heart and are able to approach your pregnancy and baby arrival with great excitement and joy!

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J.A.

answers from Jacksonville on

Dear C.,

I don't know how to tell your mom to get the response you want, but I want you to know you aren't alone :)

With my first child my mother threw me out of the house because I was unmarried and refused to get an abortion.

With my second child she was unhappy with the timing (I got pregnant five months after the first was born) but at least I was married!

Because she vowed to never speak to me again if I had another child and we had moved out of town, she found out about my third child when I sent out birth announcements.

18 years after my third child I popped up with a suprise pregnancy. My mother was happy for me?????

Just go on and be happy, don't worry about what others think, and congratulations!

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