How Long Does It Take Before the CIO Method Works?

Hello, I don't think crying for three hours in normal or healthy for anyone.... Here are few reasons (besides instinct) I oppose CIO

I would like to share some research on the physical/chemical effects prolonged crying has on babies, Science tells us that when babies cry alone and unattended, they experience panic and anxiety. Their bodies and brains are flooded with adrenaline and cortisol stress hormones. Science has also found that when developing brain tissue is exposed to these hormones for prolonged periods these nerves won’t form connections to other nerves and will degenerate. Is it therefore possible that babies who endure many nights or weeks of crying-it-out alone are actually suffering harmful neurologic effects that may have permanent implications on the development of sections of their brain.

Infant developmental specialist Dr. Michael Lewis presented research findings at an American Academy of Pediatrics meeting, concluding that “the single most important influence of a child’s intellectual development is the responsiveness of the mother to the cues of her baby.”

Researchers have found babies whose cries are usually ignored will not develop healthy intellectual and social skills.

I know that this culture is not as supportive of attatchement parenting but you can help lead the way!
I have found the Willia Sears M.D. has written some great books that are very in tune with instinct and foster the growth of secure children.

good luck and please don't feel obligated to make your child cry it out

Hi K.. Has your son been on a sleep pattern and just gotten off lately, or is using the CIO method the first attempt to set his nighttime sleep schedule? If his pattern has just been disrupted, though it may be extremely off, it could be from illness, or a growth spurt, or naps during the day need to be shortened, or any number of things. I'm guessing you know this though. If you are trying to set his sleep pattern to more closely match the rest of the household, here's my experience.

My husband and I tried letting our son cry it out when he was around 4 months old. We had tried everything to help him sleep and knew that he was fed and healthy, etc. He just needed the sleep desperately, and so did we. The first 3 nights were awful but we stuck to our plan, which we found in Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child by Dr. Marc Weissbluth. Once we put our son in bed for the night we left him there until a set time in the morning, for us this was 6 am. One of those first 3 nights he cried for about 3 hours before he went to sleep and the other nights were 30 minutes or more. If he woke during the night we listened to the type of cry he was giving before deciding to go in to him or not. We did not go in to him in those first 3 nights until 6 am. After those first 3 nights things went much better for him and us. It took a few weeks before we found his ideal bedtime to avoid unnecessary crying. This was between 5-6pm. Yep, at 5 months old he was sleeping 12-13 hours straight through the night. Even better, he was better rested throughout the day - being a well rested baby transfromed my cranky baby into a really happy and social baby. His bedtime and wake up times have fluctuated as he has grown, been ill, traveled, etc, and we have gone in to him during the night on a number of occasions. At 13 months old he still sleeps around 12 hours a night. Knowing the personality of my son, I would guess that if I had waited to set his sleep pattern like this it would have taken more than 3 nights of being firm with him to really convince him that I'm sticking to it and he will too. Please take heart - whichever means you choose to do it by, setting a pattern with him is doing what is best for him; he really needs the sleep in order to develop well and be the best little boy he can be. Our family motto has been do what works best for your family. It has helped us make decisions inspite of the plethora of advice out there. Take care and take heart. D. S

I have to say I feel a little sick to my stomach after reading a couple of these responses. It is NOT normal or okay to let a child cry so hard they make themselves sick. Although many parents will tell you they used the CIO method and their kids turned out fine, there are legitimate studies (for example, Harvard did one) that indicate the prevalent use of CIO has led to the huge number of adults currently suffering from anxiety and panic disorders, among other things. By letting babies cry for long periods of time, parents are affecting their development physically and emotionally.

That said, we shouldn't have to just "suck it up" and never sleep either. An exhausted parent doesn't make for healthy, patient parenting during the day. I've heard good things about "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" - it has worked for friends of mine. I do not believe in CIO at all. I have a Masters in Psychology and after learning about attachment theory, I can't do it. There are enough times that my dd cries and I can't do anything about it, I'm not going to let her cry when I can. There is a book that I recommend called The No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley. It's a gentle, loving way to get your baby to sleep through the night without resorting to CIO.

As moms we tend to get loaded down with guilt about everything we should or shouldn't be doing. I'm sure we're all doing the best we can. But please please please, only let your baby CIO as a LAST resort.

A.

I agree with Alana. I don't think it's normal for a baby to cry 3 hours straight. I have friends that have used CIO in the incremental method and the longest their babies have ever cried at one time is 10, 15 min. max. If you think about it from your baby's perspective, mommy was always there to help him, and now suddendly she's gone. He could be really scared now at night, and that's why he won't give up the crying even with exhaustion. Maybe try the book Alana mentioned, I've heard really good things about it! Good luck!

K.,
IMHO crying that long is not typical and something else may be going on. I did the Ferber method for our first child, and she never cried for more than hour.

Our second child was very fussy and a terrible sleeper from the beggining. My instinct was that something was wrong and he wasn't feeling well. But the sleep deprivation was bad, so I tried the Ferber method. It did not work at all. After trying one night (he cried for hours), he would get hysterical anytime I approached the crib.

Sleep continued to be a terrible problem until he was 2.5 and diagnosed with multiple food allergies. Now we know that his stomach was hurting all those years.

I would recommend talking to your ped, but I have to admit mine was not helpful when he was a fussy infant. Does your son have any symptoms that imply that he might not feel well? Is he generally fussy or happy?

Follow your instinct and Good luck!

I am a mother of four and grandma of one. I would urge you to try anything but this method. My first two were 19 months apart, so I can relate, but of all times to try this method, this is definitely not it unless you want to promote much ill will towards his new little sister. With a new baby coming, you may be tempted to start pushing your son to grow up faster. I did. But your son is still a baby himself. He is. And he needs you. He needs your presence, your comfort, your reassurance. He doesn't need to be left alone and crying for hours on end. Please follow your "mommy feelings".

You know my daughter is grown, but when she was just a baby they also advised me to let her cry it out...I tried the first night, but I broke I am sorry but I couldn't let her just cry like that for hours. So I took her out of her crib & rocked her back to sleep & sometimes I fell asleep. But you know what, the look of reassurance in her eyes that she wasn't alone was worth it. I would NOT let her play, it wasn't time for anything else but sleeping or rocking, pretty soon she was putting herself to sleep while I read a book in the chair next to the bed...watch she'll tell you when she is ready.

I don't know exactly what you are doing..but I assume *CIO* stands for *crying it out*... I did what is called the *Ferber* meathod with all four of my kids and had success in about 3-4 days... to do this you would do your normal nightly routine, then put him in his crib....go back in first 5 mins...repeat its bedtime, and lay him back down.. no lights.....no picking him up to hold...no eye contact...just soft voice..Mommy loves you, goodnight... then walk away... Then give him 10 mins... and repeat..then 15 mins....and repeat.. then go back every 15 mins until he falls asleep....if you notice him tyring out right about the time the 15 mins is up..give him a few extra and see if he doesn't just fall asleep. The first and second nights my boys always cried for at least an hour....then each night got better and one of my sons by the 3rd night just went to sleep..and the others were on the 4th night. I sleep trained all my boys at around 10-12 months old and never had a problem getting them to bed after that...still, at ages 12, 10, 7 & 6 they don't give me grief... I say bed time and they go... Good luck and let me know if you need any more support or advice! I know its hard listening to them cry..but remember great sleep habits lead to a lifetime of other healthy habits too...serious. =^) I do not buy for one minute that sleep training leads to anxiety ridden adults...seems the opposite would be true. Adults who can't fall asleep on their own will suffer much more damage than if they had the ability to fall alseep on their own, which IMHO is one of the best things you can teach a child, besides healthy eating habits. lol

Me..I'm a SAHM to four boys.12, 10 7, & 6

Hello K.,

In my opinion i would have to say that it is so important to listen to what our little ones want. Leaving them crying cou;d only scare your child even more, all they really want is our comfort.
please don't let your baby cry you will see that with time everything will get easier for all of you it's just a stage they are in....
thank you,
angie

ok i tried this on my now 17 yr old daughter - i thru the book away she cried 4 nights straight too hell with it is what i said. I was an at home mom too so it didnt matter if i slept during the day. Do what is best for you if it doesnt feel right then stop. Not every thing works for everyone and that goes for a lot of things. If you feel strongly about it then keep tring it will have too work eventually.

Hi K., I would make sure you have a night time routine with the cry it out. We have dinner, then we clean up toys, bath, read a story, hugs kisses lights out, see you in the morning. My twins are 2, we started at about a year (we clean most of the toys but include them so they can learn. We dont have any problems now but it took us like 3 weeks, and then it was that they would cry for about 20 min, before giving up. Because they were twins we had to shut the door and leave no lights on or they would play with each other. Its hard but well worth it when you get your time at night.

I think it does not hurt to have him checked for ear infection, I was completely shocked to find out my daughter had it one time, but because she had been fussy and I was out of ideas, I took her to the doc and he said she must have had it for a week or so! But she had no fever or anything, so I had no idea that was the problem!

Anyway, on the sleep thing, I have to tell you that I have used the best method that exists and I can say this because my daughter is 17 months and since she was born I have been in contact with a lot of moms who ALL (every single one of them) had problems with their kids sleeping, and the difference is that none of them has used the method I did, but they used either the CIO or the Ferber.

I used a book called Babywise, bought it at Barns and Nobles.
I don't want to get superlong on this advice and explain the whole method, but I can tell you why I love it:

1. The most crying that my baby has done with this method has been maybe 10 minutes, but rarely. Usually 5 or none at all.

2.The other thing is that I started it when she was 2 months and by the time she was 3 months she started sleeping 6 to 7 hours straight through the night.

So of course I love it and I am pregnant with my second baby and will for sure use the same method.

As far as your kid is concerned, 19 months is a bit older than the preferred starting time, and all that means is that it will take you a little longer than if you had started at 2 months. But like with any instructions, if you follow them you will get the results.

I hope this helps :)

It definitely takes more than just two nights to sleep train a child! Its not something that just happens instantly, which is why it is so difficult and recommended start it when the child is much younger than your son is now. Now that he is 19 months old, he will fight tooth and nail with everything he's got to fight it - 19 month olds have a mind of their own and very strong wills. It may take a week, it may take two weeks or longer, it depends on how long your child is willing to hold out.
It is normal for him to cry : even cry so hard that he may make himself throw up, cause himself the hyperventilate, etc - ANY ploy that he can pull out of his bag of tricks to get you into that room and take him out of that bed. He is NOT sick, there is no ear infection, this is one of those age old power struggles, and you have to stick to your guns and remember that YOU ARE THE PARENT and what you say goes. Do not allow your son to manipulate you into letting him out of the bed/crib - you've already started the sleep training, you're already made the decision to let him cry it out, so now you have to follow through with it or he will know that you will always give in if he tries hard enough. He is putting up a fight because he doesnt WANT to sleep in a way that you wish him to, and not for any other reason than that.
It will happen as long as you ARE CONSISTANT - if you give up or give into him, he will have one and there goes any chance of sleep training at all. So keep at it - his tantrums may get worse before they get better, but give it a week or so and you'll find that all of the fight will go out of him once he realizes that mommy wont budge. There is nothing wrong with going in to his room and consoling him, but DO NOT take him out of the crib. You can hug him, tell him its going to be okay, lay him back down and leave - you may do this a few times if necessary, but keep it to a minimum. You also might want to start putting him to bed a little later so that he is good and tired.
Also, create a bedtime routine that you follow every night so that he knows when bedtime is getting close and can anticipate it rather than just springing it on him. At my house, we take a bath, have a cup of milk, and read stories before bed and the routine allows my 2 year old to wind down before sleep time.
Im a child psychologist and have lots of ideas and good information if you are at your wits end, so feel free to contact me. Just know that his behavior is normal, and that the cry it out method probably hurts you more than it hurts your child - give it a little time, and it will happen.
Be strong and know that all of us mothers go through it at one point or another! Lots of other mothers will tell you that the CIO method is wrong or cruel: everyone is entitled to their own opinions, but it is recommended by doctors, child psychologists, and childcare professionals alike as a tried and true appropriate way to sleep train your child.

Hi K.,
I highly recommend the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Dr. Marc Weissbluth. With that said, what time is his bedtime? Is he napping during the day? The average child at his age needs something like 12-14 hrs daily. I have found that if the bedtime is too late, my daughter has a very hard time falling asleep. She is 28 months old and she falls asleep between 6-7pm depending on if she napped. Not only has she decided to try and quit napping, she is also potty training. She has learned the art of "stalling" before bed. I L. Dr. Weissbluth's book. I started using his ideas right away and my daughter slept thru the night at 2 1/2 months. I think it takes at least 4-7 days to get on the right path. The most important thing is consistency and an early bedtime. Give me an email if you want.
Good Luck!
L.

I really don't have much advice as I just posted a similar question (the only difference being that I sleep-trained my son at 9 months and he has been a great sleeper until now, at 17 months). I also wondered if perhaps there was something medical I was missing and took him to my pediatrician, who was a.)skeptical when I told him how long he could/would cry before giving in and b.) not too helpful, though I suppose since he was totally healthy there wasn't much he could tell me, except that to call him if the issue didn't resolve.

CIO: I always had a hard time with this method (though believe me, since he started this two weeks ago, I've TRIED!). When I sleep trained my son initially, I didn't feel it was fair to make him CIO as I'd always nursed him to sleep. We tried sort of a combo between Ferberizing and Jodi Mindell's method . . . which meant we let him cry for short intervals before going into him and gradually increased the intervals. It took him about 3 nights before he really got the idea, and I will say the that the second was still harder than the first. Also that it is not working now. ) :

I've also heard and experienced that with any kind of sleep training, it is KEY to stick to a routine and consistent nap/bedtimes. I've also found that having a nightlight helps, as does some music or a fan.

And I have heard that (despite what my pediatrician seems to think) it can be normal for baby to fight it that hard. My son certainly is, and then some!!

He'll get it!! Hang in there.