C.C.
So sad. Should be no more than a week if that. I think she would rather be out of pain anyway. Thinking of you...I have been there.
My grandmother's heart stopped 2 days ago and the hospital did not know she has a DNR. Doctors said she has kidney failure, her O2 stats are low, and blood pressure low. I think when they did CPR on her they crushed bones because she is in so much pain when someone moves her or trys to hug her. She is in pain, suffering and curious if anyone one has any experiances. I am not looking for medical advise because my aunts have that worked out. I am just trying to prepare myself for this. I hate seeing her suffer. She is also a diabetic, over wieght, and took water pills.
48 hours later she passed...she had a good day with the family, we were able to say goodbye to her and have closure. I miss her already..
So sad. Should be no more than a week if that. I think she would rather be out of pain anyway. Thinking of you...I have been there.
If your aunts haven't already, please suggest palliative or hospice care (similair but different things, both available through the hospital she's already at, and both would be sure her pain is well controlled)
I used to be a nurse's aid at hospice (and my mom died of kidney failure and sepsis) and it is TRULY impossible to say for sure but I'm guessing hours to days, not weeks to months
((((HUGS))))
Viola,
I'm really sorry you and your family are going through this.
It's a very tough time.
There really is no way to prepare yourself because no matter what you expect to feel, it won't be what you expect.
I wish there was a magic answer.
I'm going through this with someone I love right now too.
I've cried my head off.
There is a DNR but the doctor found during an exam that she had a bowel perforation. She was far too weak to repair it so she was in the hospital making her strong enough. She refused the surgery. She was taken home by ambulance, according to her wishes, to die in her bed.
She has refused hospice care.
She is in a great deal of pain in her chest because she has become septic. Her kidneys have shut down, not to mention the bowel obstruction. The pain in her chest is all the fluid and infection gathering around her vital organs.
She was brought home from the hospital yesterday and I honestly don't expect her to make it through the night.
I have cried and worried over her. Her decision is to go. I just wish she wasn't in pain. I don't want her to suffer.
If hospice has not been brought in for your grandmother, they can give her meds to make her as comfortable as possible.
If she has refused such relief, you have to respect her wishes and know that somehow in the end, it's important for her to make those decisions.
That's where it's at with my loved one.
This is one of the hardest things you will ever go through, but you must keep in mind that your grandmother would NOT want you to suffer for her.
There is no way she would ever wish for your heart to be broken because of her.
Be there. Hold her hand. Kiss her. Let her know that she can never be far enough away for your love to change.
Let her know you are thankful to have had her love in your life.
And I'm crying as I write this, but sometimes, you have to let them know it's okay to go. That need that blessing and understanding so they can go in peace.
Just my thoughts and my opinion.
Again, I'm so sorry.
I'm sorry to hear about your grandmother. It's so hard to see people we love in pain.
I just lost my father in August. He had kidney failure, congestive heart failure, and was diabetic. He'd never been overweight, but all the rest was true. Once he decided for sure to end the 3x/week dialysis he had been on, he was put in hospice care with no insulin or other meds except for pain medication. We were told it would be several days or maybe even more than a week. He died in a day and a half.
So, doctors don't even know for sure. If she has a DNR I would hope that she is now on the equivalent of hospice care. One of the differences is the type and amount of pain meds that can be given to attempt to make her comfortable. Even with those, I hate to say this, but my father was not comfortable during his last day.
Good luck to your family in getting through this.
Hello Viola,
THe ladies are right, there is no true time scale it has a lot to do with her will to live/milestones she might have set for herself. I know its hard to deal with but you seem to be moving in the right directioin and I am with others, Hospice is a wonderful option.
My husband died almost two years ago from kidney failure. He went in with what they called a pain crisis and never recovered. He was on a donor list for a new kidney but that never happened. THe short version is he had a DNR but the hospital "lost" it and so he had a stroke one night and went into a coma and I had to make the choice to end things. It was hard but the right thing to do. The best thing for your grandmother is to keep her out of pain as much as possible with meds and make sure she knows how much she is loved but it is ok for her to rest.
A.
There is no way to know how long it will take for her kidney's to fail. You must have mixed feelings about them resuscitating her; especially when doing so has caused her even more pain.
Are you asking how to prepare yourself for your grandmother to die? Or to deal with her pain and major discomfort? Or perhaps both. I suggest you can't really prepare yourself. You just take life one hour at a time. You cry. You hold her hand and tell her everything you want her to know.
It may seem that you should be stoic and strong. I suggest that isn't always the best way to handle someone leaving us. I wish I'd talked more with my mother on her last day. I did learn that when one is close to dying they are usually not very present in the sense of carrying on a conversation. My mother was very ill for a couple of weeks before she died and she had already began to take leave of this world. Even if she hadn't have responded I would feel better if I'd reminded her how much I love her and how much I'll miss her. I wish I'd cried with her, instead of keeping up a brave front.
Viola:
I'm sooo sorry. This must be tough.
I wish I could tell you how long it will be. There is absolutely no way to know.
I pray that you and your family only have many happy memories of your grandmother.
God Bless
It won't take long. My mom died this jan from same thing. A matter of a few days. I think my mom it was three days. I seen my mom at 1130am on a fri and went to buy somethings for when hospice was coming to her house and i never made it to the house she died two hours later. Your grandma sounds identical to my mom. I am so sorry.
Viola, I'm so sorry for you and your grandmother about this. I hope that they are giving her plenty of pallative care. If the hospital has a Hospice unit, that would be a blessing to her.
How long probably has to do with how much they do for her. If she is still on dialysis, etc. She has evidently made the decision with the doctors as to what she wants them to do for her.
Sending you strength,
Dawn
Hello, Windsor
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