How Long Is Too Long for My 2 Year Old to Cry for Her Binky at Night?

"Break" it away, don't take it away! I just did it for my two year old, and I did it when my oldest was two. Take some sissors, and cut an "x" into the tip. It won't work anymore. When she gives it to you, tell her it's broken. Everytime she cries for a bink, give her the broken ones and explain that they are broke. Mine still takes his to bed, but won't cry or suck on it because it's broke. When they didn't work, my kids didn't want them anymore! And little crying! Maybe the first night, but that was it. I hope you get that lucky too!

I like the binky fairy ideas. Another suggestion is that my OB told me that what she did was tell her girls when it was time, that they needed to give their binkies away to the babies that were going to be born. So she wrote a little note and attached the note and binky to a balloon, and when her daughters were ready, they let them go.

Why do you feel you have to take her binky away if she is just using it to go to sleep? I would let her keep it for a little while and use something that she really wants as a trade off for the binky if she isn't ready to let it go. A new princess dress or a toy for a big girl, something that would let you tell her she has to be a big girl in order to get that item, and big girls do not use binky's any more. But if she is using that binky only at night, and she is giving you so much trouble about not having it, I would give in for a while yet.

I personally wouldn't give it back, because next time she wants it she will try that much harder to get it back.

There's not going to be any longer term effects, I promise, she is sill getting love, security in other forms.

That must really hurt to see her like that. I took my 3 year old's away and she threw the biggest fit I had ever seen. We had a rough couple of days, but then she got over it. Offering her something else is a good idea. What if you let her pick out a new stuffed animal, or some kind of blankie? How about "You're getting to be such a big girl now, I thought you could pick out something new"? It's a tough dilemma, but congrats on being brave enough to take it away. Not an easy decision.

I would make sure she knows that it is gone, and not that you have it and just won't give it to her. Whether you go with, we gave all the binkis to another baby, or they are all broken, etc. just let her know they are gone. But offer her something else, an animal or blanket. She can have a tantrum, but I would go back in, and offer again the other comfort item after a while. She may calm down faster that way. I reasoned with my children from a young age and you might try "I know your mad/sad that the binki's are gone and I have this animal or blanket for you when you want to calm down" if she still screams, I would leave and try again in about 10 min. I have also left and said when you calm down I will talk to you, but I won't talk when you are screaming. Good luck.

A binky is one method a child has to self-comfort. When it is removed before the child chooses, they have to develop a new coping skill and their resources for doing that are limited. Except for the nuisance of having to locate them, they they pose no harm to the child who is using them. My son used his until he was 3 1/2. He told me he was ready to give it up and we explained that, he needed to be sure because we would throw them all out. We never heard another word about them. He had apparently developed a new way to comfort himself to sleep. Hope this helps :)

if you give in now she will learn to cry for everything she wants and always get her way.

I for one made sure my babies got rid of the pacifier before age one then the bottle was gone.
First baby his binkie actually rotted when he was 3 months old and wouldn't take another kind and this one was no where to be found so guess what.. that was the end of it and he only fussed the first night. Because he was my first I didn't know when the bottle was recommended to be gone but at 14 months he had a doctor appointment and the first thing they asked was is he still on a bottle and I said yes and asked when is it supposed to be taken away. They told me 12 months so guess what??? we took it away that night and he fussed for 2 nights before he went to bed and that was the end of it.

2nd child had colic for 5 1/2 months. I took her pacifier away at 9 months and she fussed at bedtime a few nights and got over it. We took her bottle at 12 months and she fussed a few nights and was fine with it.

3rd child--weaned himself from the pacifier at around 5 months. He didn't care if he had it or not so we just didn't give it to him when he went to sleep to see how he would do and he didn't fuss at all for it so we ended that one really quick and easy. He also kept throwing his bottle out across the room when he was 10 months old and even the plastic bottles will crack so I told him if he threw another bottle across the room then I was getting rid of them so he did it again and I put his formula in a sippy cup from that point on and he didn't fuss for that bottle at all. So he weaned himself from the pacifier and breastfeeding around the same time at 5 months then the bottle at 10 months.

I think babies become more attached to their pacifiers and bottles after a year old then it becomes a bigger issue. Pacifiers are designed for newborns that want to suckle all the time so once they grow out of that stage around 3-5 months they really don't need that pacifier anymore then it becomes a habit or addiction from that point on and makes it tougher to get rid of.

With any addiction even with adults it is hard to break but the sooner the better.

I have seen several 2 year olds with messed up teeth from having a pacifier or bottle too long. And kids older than that really bothers me because it shows that those kids have control over their parents and usually more whiny in the school age kids too because they learned to get their way when they were toddlers and carries on through their lives or when parents finally start cracking down on them they don't have a clue or understand why all the sudden their manipulation tactics aren't working and causes more distress.

I know it is tough to see your kids cry but you went a few nights already and once you give in you lost the battle and it will continue in other battles as well and will be a lot harder the longer you wait.

My kids are now 17, 14, and 9 and most of the time help do chores around the house, very polite and the type of kids everyone wants their kids to hang around so they have tons of friends and will even go to their friends houses and help with cooking or cleaning. Don't get me wrong, they aren't perfect and do get themselves grounded but most of the time they are grounded for something their friends did when they were with them and didn't stand up and say no we shouldn't do that or my oldest doesn't always remember to call home and tell us where he is going when his plans change. He hangs out with good kids but our rule is we still want to know where they are going and if they get there and those friends change their minds and want to go to the mall or movie or go to another friends house then he is supposed to call and tell us. Most of the time I don't tell him no unless they are planning something unsafe or rediculous as teen boys can come up with some crazy stuff and always wanting to trick out their vehicles with parts that don't belong to theirs or probably won't fit properly so we do have to stand our ground a lot on that one issue because he has a nice vehicle and doesn't need to be tearing it up by doing something crazy and end up not having a vehicle. I told him that is what you do when you have a lot of extra money and want a hobby car to mess around with.. not your only transportation vehicle and you barely scrape enough work hours to pay insurance, gas and have a little extra spending money for events and keep reminding him that none of this vehicle stuff will matter next year when he goes to college as he will be lucky if he can find some time to work enough hours to earn his insurance and gas money.

I am a firm believer that kids should pay their own insurance and gas. It is not the parents responsibility. If you want to take that responsibility of driving then you need to pay the bills that come along with that privilege.

Good luck with this adventure. Parenting isn't easy but takes a lot of love, patience, and hard work. Whenever you make a decision like this stick with it or you will regret it big time later on as they grow up.

Oh, just give it back to her. I don't see the harm in a 2yo having a binky. It is her security and that's all she has. And yes, I'd say if she's crying ALL night, then obviously that's too long. I even think if she cries for more than 30 mins that's too long. Of course though, I'm one of those moms that listens to my kid and lets him tell me when he's ready to give things up, ie: bottle, diapers, etc... It sure makes your job alot easier if you just listen to your kids' body language. She'll give it up when she's ready to. You've never seen a grown woman walking around w/ a binky in her mouth have you? :) I think too many people forget that our babies are still babies at 1 and 2 years old and try to make them grow up waaaay too fast. Just give her, her binky back and you'll get some sleep. :)

it's kind of hard to give it back to her now, like the other person said she will cry harder for it next time. however, i am of the camp that feels that if it's just when she's going to bed, then what's the harm? there is no evidence it has any effect on tooth development, she's not carrying it around walmart at ten o'clock in the morning, i assume she's talking just fine...just my two cents...i wouldn't have taken it to begin with....i truly feel they will give these things up when they're ready (my son sucked his thumb like an addict, but now at 3 i can't remember the last time he had it in his mouth) now that you've started to break her of it, it's a little more complicated. do you give it back and hope that caving this once doesn't ruin your authority with her? or do you hold your ground and hope she doesn't develop another (more annoying) self-soothing method in the meantime? hope you find the answer that works for you and lets you get some sleep! (ps, just in case you didn't get it, i'd give it back! but that's just me...good luck!)

Such a hard questions.. so many different opinions! I don't think there is one right answer. We just took our 1 year olds bink away 3 weeks ago and we did the same as you "cold Turkey"! She did cry for about 45 minutes before her nap for about 3 days, but has been fine since. I almost gave in on that second day, but now I'm so glad I didn't! We were at a friends house on saturday & their kid had a bink, I was so worried she would see it and want it... but I was wrong, she did just fine! Hang in there you will be glad you did! (But p.s I know 2 year olds are a lot differnt than 1 year olds, so you will have to do whats best for you both!)

My daughter is now 2 years old. I took her binky away when she was 18 months and found that no one could get a good nights sleep if she didn't have her binky. My compromise was that binky's are for sleeping only. She gets it at nap time and at bed time and we all get to sleep through he night now. I know that eventually she won't need it any more and will give it up on her own, but that time is not now. She uses newborn binky's so I'm not really concerned about it messing up her teeth. For us, the binky is a small price to pay for a full night's sleep.

I am not sure on the right answer here. I just posted a question a few weeks ago on how to ditch the binky. I still haven't been able to bring myself to do it. He loves it too much and a lot of other moms said they wouldn't worry about it until he's 3 or so. His doctor did tell me to have it gone by 2 though. Good luck to you. I feel your pain. It is so hard to take away something they love so much and to watch them so unhappy.

I'm having the same problem with my almost 3 year old. I can't take the crying so I'm letting him keep it for now. Whatever it takes to keep your sanity. My sister went throught the same thing---she took it away & he cried all the time so she finally gave it back. About a month later he gave it up on his own. You need to do what you think is best for you and her.

Dear G.: I have a 13 month old grandson who was never interested in his binky, so I guess that's an alright thing. My mom and dad told me I had my binky until I started kindergarten. My dad said he had to carry them in his shirt pockets because I would scream if I couldn't get one. Anyway, I'm all grown up now and don't believe I suffered any harmeful effects from having a binky till I started school. If there's any relationship between the two, I don't drink or smoke or anything else of that nature. I do believe letting your little one cry for an hour for her binky is too long - and after crying for that long I'm sure she has a headache and probably a stomach ache from all the fussing. I believe you should give her binky back to her and try removing it again in a few months, maybe she will outgrow it all on her own. I think letting her cry for so long is more harmful on her than letting her have her binky. Take Care.

One telling her that she will have to work on potty training isn't a good idea. kids will potty train when they are ready and are showing the signs of being ready. ie. letting you know they are wet or dirty not wanting to be wet or dirty and staying dry and clean for two hours.

as for the binky I'm a firm believer in it should be done and gone before one. Honestly she will scream and cry but don't give in. Thus it becomes a cycle of her controling you. simply comfort her and maybe take her to the store to pick out a new stuffed animal to sleep with. But we did do the whole slowly getting rid of it by cutting it down to only giving it at nap and bedtime and then just bedtime and then not at all. if she feels the need to suck try letting her drink water out of a sippy right before bed thus some of the sucking instinct is calmed.

sounds like you are on the road to success, hang in there

Hi G.,
We took the bink away when our kiddo was a little over 2. There were lots of tears for a few nights and during naps. The bink fairy came 2 nights in a row..the first time she brought a toy and cookies, the second night cookies. That was enough to get us through those evenings. A little extra cuddling plus a stuffed animal also helped him comfort himself. Since the bink has been gone awhile, I think you're better off riding out the storm versus giving it back. If you can find something else to help her comfort yourself, things will be better. Good luck!

hi G., I have a three and a half year old and a 4 month old. We got rid of my oldest son's pacifier when he was 10 months old. He threw it across the room a few times so I figured that he didn't need it anymore. Let me tell you that you are indeed doing the right thing, she is way to old to still have a pacificer. I'm sorry but I feel that once a child turns one it should go in the trash. Pacifiers can affect a childs speech and teeth. One of the other post I read said that if you give in now she will think that by crying and throwing a fit she will get what she wants and that person is right! You will only be teaching her that crying a and throwing a fit is ok. Is there a stuffed animal she likes or is there something else that she can sleep with? Hang in there she will give up at some point you just have to be strong and I know that hearing them whine and cry can be so frustrating but you are doing the right thing! Don't give up! Good luck and God bless you and your family!

Everyone will have an opinion on this for good, bad or ill...in hindsight I wouldn't have suggested going cold turkey on her if she was a 24/7 girl...I would have weened her down to naps and bedtime only. Given her the full stash of them and told her that when she loses/misplaces them they won't get replaced...it worked well for us. It gave out children ownership of their binkie and control (which children rarely have)...they eventually lost them all (of course I threw them away when I found them lying about) and had to deal with the consequences but it was far better than the cold turkey method (we had also tried that). (BTW mine were nearly 4 before we rested them away from the binkies...yes dentists will tell you they are horrible...but Dr's tell you soda, fries and candy are horrible too and most of us adults don't listen to it right away...the dentists understand that it might take a few months to get these things away from our kids...it's become habitual).

At this point, you have set sail and you really can't go back. If you do give into her you will indeed be setting yourself up for her ability to cry and get what she wants. Yes, it's hard on you and it's hard on her but see if you can't find something else that will distract or soothe her...what about taking her to build-a-bear and letting her make her own special bear to sleep with? It's not a binkie but it might be a good surrogate and ease the tension a bit. Good luck and just hang on for a little while longer.

What I would do with our son--because his older sister was a pacifier addict--was remove the pacifier from his mouth after he fell to sleep and leave it laying in the crib. When he woke up, he would find it, put it back in his mouth, and fall back to sleep. As long as you're giving her the Binky only when she goes to sleep and not allowing her to have it in her mouth all day and night, you should be able to wean her away from it, although perhaps not as easily as you'd like. I commented on this before, but pacifiers in the mouth all the time can cause a tongue thrust, which requires therapy to eliminate. Regarding her not taking naps without her Binky... when my son "lost" his pacifier, he never took another nap. :(

You are not harming her at all. This phase in her life will pass and she will not remember it at all. Keep doing what you are doing. But you must put your foot down on the bedtime thing. You are the parent, she is the child. Remember that, okay?

Hello,

One of the goals my son's dr. set for us was to get our son to let go of his pacifier by the age of one. What we did to do this was to cut a small slice out of the very tip of the pacifier about every week until it didn't interest him anymore. And you know what??? it worked!! After we put in the first slice, we gave it to him and he used it. This went on for about 1 month. I then started noticing when I went to check on him that his pacifier started appearing under his bed. I'd pick it up and place it back into his bed, but then when he'd wake up, it was back under his bed. I thought to myself, "Why am I putting it back in his bed when apparently he doens't want it there?" So, we just stopped giving it to him and he was perfectly happy with it. He's never looked back. And to be completely honest with you, I was ready for him to give it up too. Our son was "broke" of the pacifier habit around the age of one.

Not sure if this method will work in your situation, but it probably won't hurt to give it a try.

Good luck!! ls

Both of my daughters LOVED thier binkies! We limited binky time to bedtime only and then waited until they were around 3 1/2 to wean them off. Developmentally you can reason with them better and they can understand. We told our daughters that we were going to give them to the "babies at the hospital". We made a big deal for that special day and praised them for thier charitable donation. ...So I would give it back. (This is something that is comforting her.) Maybe you could act like you found one under the couch cushion and tell her she can only have it for naps and bedtime. Good luck!

My son loved loved loved his binky and was about 2 and a few months old when he bit a hole in it, we took it away and he never really asked for it after that. I guess he was just ready. But his teeth are just fine, it's better than his thumb, so I'm sort of on the same page as the mamas that would give it back to her until she's ready to give it up herself. Now of course, my son still takes a bottle for his milk (he's 4 months from turning 3), so I may not be the best person to take advice from! I do agree with the one mama that it's so much easier to let them tell you when they're ready. Let's face it, we have a lot bigger battles to fight with them than binkies and bottles! Good luck whichever way you decide!

Oh boy. Binky weaning is hard work. The thing that worked for us was a visit from "The Binky Fairy". The kids leave their binkies on their window frame (or anywhere in their room) and the Binky Fairy comes to take the binky but leaves a surprise in it's place. The child gets a fun surprise and you can toss those binkies. Be strong! Usng a binky too long can really mess up a kid's teeth. My cousin used a binky until, and I wish I was joking here, he was 10 years old. To say his teeth are messed up is an understatement! So stay strong and good luck!