How Much Do You Play with Your Kids?

Updated on October 24, 2010
M.D. asks from Rockport, TX
18 answers

Just curious... How much time do you spend "stop what your doing, sit down play time" with your kids? I stay home with my almost 5 year old and we do different things together throughout the entire day- we spend ALL of our time together. But, she is very good about playing alone and sometimes I feel that I take advantage of that. While I am doing household things she will just play, play, play and before I know it so much time has passed and I realize that I have not really sat down with her to play. Dont get me wrong, I check on her often and stop and help her with things and we usually talk the whole time, as she is usually playing very near me. Today the rest of the family is out of town and I am devoting my day to her. Computer, phone everything is about to go off until she goes to bed! So do you spend a set amout of time each day with your kids? Do they have a special mommy date once a month? once a week? Just looking for ideas and to know Im not alone in this! thanks moms! (I cant check any responses til tonight- Im holding myself to that!! :)

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So What Happened?

I know, I know... I broke my rule about getting on the computer. But she said she was tired and asked if she could lay down and watch tv. (Guess the Fall festival wore her out) So a quick check of messages and the computer is off agin! It has been kind of nice. Thanks for all the responses so far- I know Im not alone. So the one on one play is not always necessary- that is good. We read everyday, go for walks or bike rides and she is a great helper when we run errands. I think part of the reason I dont play as much is because it was totally opposite with my now 9 year old- and it came back to bite me in the butt. She was my first and I played everything with her- I mean everything!!! Then as she started getting older- she could not/would not do anything without me. So i did not want to create that situation again. Well, I hear "mommy" in the distance so I better go. Thanks again!

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C.T.

answers from Dallas on

Honestly, I don't sit and play with my kids all that much. I sit and read with them everyday and a few times a week, we play board games or do puzzles and things like that. My oldest is in school, but I, also, have a 3 year old. Both of my children like to play by themselves and I think that is a good thing. My 3 year old goes everywhere with me and even helps me with chores around the house so we are always interacting, but not necessarily playing with toys. I might clean the kitchen while he plays with Play-dough and we talk and interact, but I don't sit down with him. My children don't seem to mind. When they want me to sit and play something, I usually do, but I'm glad they don't expect it a lot because I want them to be able to entertain themselves and play with each other. On weekends, it is a little different because we're all together as a family and we usually go on outings together-park, picnic, zoo, etc.

2 moms found this helpful

J.B.

answers from Houston on

I just play with my son as we go through the day together and I provide opportunities for him to play with other kids as much as I can. I also have a baby at home so I can't always just devote play time to my three year old. I do sing with him and tickle him along the way and sometimes we actually play together where I stop everything and play but it is not on a set schedule.

1 mom found this helpful

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M.L.

answers from Seattle on

Your daughter is blessed with a wonderful mommy! You are doing a super job and it seems you are spending a lot of time with her, quality time at that even. I stay at home with my 3 yr old and 15 mos old daughters., I feel bad because I love to clean and get things done, I am not one to just sit and play since I see so much I want to get done,. I am really working hard on stopping and playing with them and making sure I am filling up their love tank before going on to doing more chores. I love my girls so much, they are starting to play with each other more and more. My 3 year old would love it if I just played with her all day but she also is very good playing on her own. If it seems like too much time has gone by since I have stopped and give them 100% attention then I will make sure to stop right then and love on them. I don't want them growing up only remembering mommy cleaning. Thanks for your question! I am going to go play with my girls right now before the days get crazy. You are not alone! Enjoy your day with your sweet girl.

6 moms found this helpful
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T.H.

answers from Kansas City on

Ah yes...I have had the same though with my 3 year old! She too is good at playing by herself and it is nice to take advantage of it! I have found that in order for me to stop what I'm doing and play with her we have to get out of the house. It's easier for me! We go to the park or an activity or the mall or on a walk or whatever...of course we also have little brother in tow, but it's easier for me. I sometimes feel as a SAHM that we have to choose between doing chores and plyaing with our children, not always an easy choice! I'll be interested in reading the others' responses as well! Good for you for having a computer free day! :)

6 moms found this helpful

S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

i wasn't the sort of mom who did a lot of on-the-floor right-in-there playing. we did lots of reading together, walks, hikes, adventures, horseback riding, parks, museums, but it just wasn't my nature to dive into power rangers with 'em. lots of parallel stuff, though.
i think it's uber-cool to be a right-in-there parent but it's also fine to have different styles. we shouldn't push ourselves to be something we're not, ya know?
khairete
S.

4 moms found this helpful
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M.B.

answers from Grand Forks on

you're not alone my dear...i'm a FTWM (single at that) and i feel maybe i spend WAY too much time playing w/my little boy. a post on here once said "I'm not an entertainment machine". I think of that often b/c i'm always trying to interact and play w/him, esp since i'm the only one he has (goes to his daddy's every other wknd, but y'know what i mean). I end up getting NOTHING done and i wonder if maybe i should try to do "normal" chores, etc when he's awake. so i think you're fine...you have to get stuff done, and you're showing me that, so you've helped me! :)
you sound like a great mom to devote all day to her today! :)
i think most of the time the babies/kiddos are just so happy to have us there, and of course playing, but it's equally important for us to take care of the grown up stuff (DARN IT!) take care! :)

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A.P.

answers from Eugene on

I'm right there with you with my 3 year old son. I work from home a lot so I'm often grading or reading while my son plays. We often go to the park or sit in the family room and while he plays cars, I work. I often feel bad, but I appreciate getting to share the space with him even if we're not directly interacting. And I figure that if we didn't structure our time this way he would need a lot more childcare than 15 hrs/week. My husband will play legos or lincoln logs for hours and I feel sort of guilty that I don't enjoy playing toys; but I also realized that my husband does actually like playing legos so I try (with limited success) to not feel guilty. I prefer to do things with my son, going to the library, going grocery shopping (we have a little game we play with the list), going to a coffee shop that has Mr. Potato head, so we interact a lot, but just not over his toys. I think you sound like a great mom by the way!

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S.R.

answers from McAllen on

well, I don't have a set date or time to play with my son, but I do look for opportunities to be with him. I love to have him near me, he mostly likes to play alone, so I don't get as much interaction as I'd like, but I just love watching him or listen to him play. When I say I look for opportunities, I mean, I found a chance to take him with me to the office on tuesday and we had a blast!! we didnt do much really, he watched movies in a computer while I worked but had breakfast together, and exchanged a lot of I love yous throughtout the day, but he was just so happy, I can wait to take him with me again. I think its more about the quality of the time. If I could have a special mommy day with him, I would definitely do it!!

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M.B.

answers from Dayton on

I don't play with my kids much at all. I'm always here if they need help with this or that - can you fix this/tie this/help me put this on? We read together as much as possible, but I rarely sit down and pick up toys with them. They play pretty independently and have a great time together.

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A.G.

answers from Houston on

My daughters play together, when my youngest was an only child i played games with her often, but now they have much more fun with each other. I too have felt guilty for not picking up a barbie or some blocks and participating, but when i think about it my mom never really played with me because i have siblings. I consider her to have been the best of moms, so i guess its ok.

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P.O.

answers from Harrisburg on

I am the opposite. I play so much with my children, that before you know it I didn't get my household items done. They are intoxicating me (I'm sorry) and I am a kid at heart too, makes it worse. I think household chores will always be there, but the little time I do have with them, I try to make the most of it. When I am not playing with them, they are off playing by themselves and I get to do my chores, etc. (cooking, cleaning, all the stuff that makes life boring, lol)...

1 mom found this helpful

J.G.

answers from San Antonio on

I stay at home with my 2.5 yr old. He plays very well by himself, and also let him do it. I can't say a certain amount of "time" that we play together. It's often in the evening and we're reading books during some of that time. Morning is errands, self-play while mom get's dressed, breakfast and lunch. After nap is self-play while mom cooks dinner, eat, play with mom and/or dad, books, bath, etc. So don't fret about the number of hours per week of one-on-one time with her. You are NOT alone with this - other moms are just like you. No we don't have a special mommy 'date' but I do often have to just turn the computer off and sit on the floor with my son and play. He Loves it.

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H.W.

answers from Portland on

I don't play with my son nearly as much as you play with your daughter!:)

I'm of the belief that it's good for kids to learn to enjoy being alone for stretches of time. I work from home (running a preschool program) as well as within the home, so I try to flex---if he's needing time with me, he can help me with some parts of my work, or I'll set a timer for 15 minutes or so for a chunk of undivided Mama attention and just play with him. When the timer goes off, I'm back to working on something or taking a little break for myself.

Kids will often be perfectly happy constructing their own play or activities and come to us just to check in, so I let the children in my life give me the head's up when they're needing my help or support. Otherwise, it's good for them to be at their work (play) without my interruption. I know I can often work better without my son's disruptions, and kids have even less ability to multitask, so I really try to hang back, just give a pat on the back or squeeze their shoulder as I walk by them, to let them know I am aware of their presence and value them just as they are, busy and engaged in their own pursuits. This way, I don't pull them from what they are doing, and am not asking for their attention.

As for dates, my son and I do bus trips together at least once week. He's three and loves to sit on my lap. When I'm out of the house, I'm pretty solely focused on him for the 3 hours or so we are out adventuring in our town. This seems to be our most peaceful Mama/Kiddo time, so we've made a routine of these outings.

Don't forget, too, that we are human and sometimes I will go off my nut if I don't have adult contact during the day. I also use a timer (my sister does too) for the kids, so they know I'll be done when the timer goes ding. We usually allow about 20 minutes for phone conversations; when one is at home with kids all day, it's essential to have some peer conversation! Do what feels balanced and right for you, and it'll be fine.

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M.K.

answers from Los Angeles on

Well, there is no amoutn of time per se, if she brings me a book, I will stop what I am doing and read to her (daughter is 2), or after my daughter goes to bed I will read with my son, or play a game.

between the two of them, usually an hour or so a day - I have never been a great "player", but I go outside with my daughter for hours a day and follow her around while she picks up leaves, or we go for a bike ride - so I guess that it playing!, so maybe 3 hours tops.
A lot of the time while she plays I will do house work - I don't remember my mother playing with me specifically, but I knew she loved me...

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C.S.

answers from Las Vegas on

I was able to do what you do with my older daughter, however, this one is five also and I can't do that. She demands so much more of our time. She will sit on my head if I let her. She is happy if she is helping me clean, but very clingy and not so independent only child.

Very clean house with the older one, not so clean with this one. I can only get to the kitchen and restrooms. Some times the dust is so thick in the bedrooms I am surprised the vacuum doesn't plug up! Exaggerated, but really I can't get to it all.

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E.B.

answers from Houston on

As little as possible! Seriously, I took them places to play with friends or other kids, I stayed home with them so that I was around and available-but overall day to day I did little playing per se. We did lots of "field trips" to the museums and parks but also did a lot of that with other families, too.
They are all VERY independent now as teenagers....so I guess it worked out ok.

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J.K.

answers from Mansfield on

I do not have a set amount of time that I play with my children everyday nor do I schedule it.... but there is always some play time. I stay at home as well, my children are 11,7,5. My youngest goes to half day kindergarten 5 mornings a week. Basically if she asks me to play with her and I am not in the middle of scrubbing the tub or cooking a meal, I will stop and play with her or play for abit when I am done doing the current thing I am working on, like loading the dishwasher. Same thing in the evenings with the other 2. There is a no TV, video game rule in my house on school nights so after chores, homework and dinner unless we are running off to sports or wherever (my kids are in alot of activities) there is free time. The kids play together and sometimes they ask me to join or one wants to play something else and asks me to play. We also read together every night. My youngest 2 will read their homework books to all of us and the oldest and I take turns reading a chapter book or some seasonal related picture type book. I am often involved in their games (like lets play spy) when I am still doing whatever current chore I am working on. The kids love this while I am doing laundry because I am all over the place and they try to sneak from room to room without me seeing or hearing them... usually I know exactly where each of them are but sometimes they do sneak up on me. :)
I wish I were better about spending one on one time with the older 2 seperately but there just are not enough hours in my day and since my husband works 6 days aweek there is no one to take care of the other 2 while I am spending that time.

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L.O.

answers from Detroit on

my kids are 4 1/2 and 3 adn they play together.. I do direct some activities.. (reading books together) crafts, educational worksheets, but they usually play together without me..

Of course afte they play nicely for a while.. they have a fight and I have to refereee..

I played with them when they were 1 and 2 years old.. I was constatntly on the floor with them.. but now that they are older they can play without me.

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