How Often Should Nightmares Occur?

Updated on June 10, 2012
A.D. asks from Monroe, GA
7 answers

My daughter is almost 3 years old and it seems that every other night (3-4 times a week) she has nightmares that she wakes up screaming. I always give her a minute to calm down on her own ,but most of the time I have to go in there and reassure her. She goes right back to sleep after I comfort her so I know it's not a ploy to get me in there. Sometimes she can tell me what it was that scared her. They mostly have to do with the Disney movies she watches. (Finding Nemo involving a shark for instance) I do not want to take these movies away from her because she laughs while watching them and she always requests certain movies. I honestly don't know of any other 2-3 year old that watches kiddy movies to have this many nightmares. Has anyone else had this issue? Is this normal at this age?

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D..

answers from Charlotte on

Are you sure she isn't waking up because she is used to it, and wants you to come in? So she screams and makes up a story about a nightmare?

It's not outside the realm of possibility...

I'd take away ALL TV from her and tell her that it seems that watching TV is giving her bad dreams, and until she can sleep through the night, no more TV. That should answer your question as to whether or not she's screaming for you as a way to get you into her room.

Dawn

3 moms found this helpful
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R.J.

answers from Seattle on

We couldn't watch Disney until my son was 7-8 because they gave him nightmares. (Pixar was fine, though).

My son put it best... "The bad guys are just so EVIL and so smart, and the good guys are stupid! It's just luck!!!"

Really made me look at 'kids' programming differently. The only other genre that has pure evil in it are horror movies. And, just like horror movies... These had him falling to pieces with nightmares every night.

For MY son (meaning I know this won't translate to all kids), he needed deeper characters. Flawed protagonists, antagonists with good sides. It wasn't the scary scenes that got him, it was the 1 dimensionality of the charecters.

Things with NO bad guys were fine (Thomas, Kipper, etc), and PG/PG13 (star wars, pirates of the carribean, Indiana jones, etc.) stuff was fine... But no Disney. The protagonists had to be smart or flawed, and antagonists had to have redeeming features or depth.

I'm sure what 'works' for kids is going to be different. But that was what worked for my son.

I was NOT going to be letting him watch things that have him nightmares for weeks. Whether that is Nightmare in Elm Street or The Little Mermaid.

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R.Z.

answers from Chicago on

My oldest is 10 and had nightmares almost nightly it seemed. She still occasionally has them. To be honest, and this may seem silly to some, but the only thing that worked for us was to pray for her dreams. We would literally say our regular bedtime prayers and then we had (at the end) a special one we said specifically about her dreams. We asked God to give her peaceful sleep and dreams of his heavens and angels and only of things that will make her smile and feel His love.

I am not exaggerating when I tell you it stopped immediately. It went from full blown night terrors (screaming and we had a hard time waking her up and she would be all sweaty and shaking) to sleeping all night. She would/will only have the occasional nightmare. Especially when she was younger, if we skipped a night of prayers, that was the night she had a nightmare.

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

She is 3. She is young.
A child's emotions are not even fully developed yet at that age.
The cognition and imaginations, are still developing at that age.

You say you don't want to take the movies away from your child... she laughs while watching them and requests certain movies.
But as you see, at night she has nightmares about it.
So why keep allowing it?

As a kid myself, EVEN at 7 years old, the Disney movies SCARED me.
I did NOT like it. I told my parents. I only watched what I was not afraid of.

Disney movies, are scary. Not all, but many of the "kiddie" movies.
It is for older kids.
Not 3 year olds.

What I would do with my own kids is, I simply told them "that movie is not for your age. Its for older kids." And they understood. I told them some parts are scary.

Now, with a very young child... when there is scary things or violence, they may "laugh" at it, and it is because, they do not know what it means... nor do they understand abstract constructs yet. Nor do they know every nuance of an emotion. They don't "know" how to react to "fear" or "scary" stuff. They don't even know the names of feelings yet either. They don't even know the names of their own feelings yet. Hence, their brain and emotions, cannot process, these things properly. Yet.

But yes, kids from 2 years old have nightmares.
It can be due to what they watch of course.
And it can also be due to: being overtired, not being rested properly, being overly stimulated (physically or emotionally or auditorily, etc.).
And their brains, are still developing. And their cognition, etc.

So, if you don't want her to have nightmares and "so many..." then cut down on what you let her watch. And don't let her watch scary movies.
Disney movies... are scary.
It is for older kids.

The shows and movies that are great and not scary are:
Kipper
Little Bear (by Maurice Sendak)
Upside Down Show
Pocoyo

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R.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

I agree with Dawn, and at the very least would definitely take away the Disney movies. Many children her age have a problem after watching them, regardless of how much they enjoy them at the time they are watching them. My 3 year old doesn't care for them, though he'll watch the Disney Jr channel. Do a web search and you'll find Disney movies scaring children is a common problem...and the best way to eliminate a problem is to eliminate the cause.

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K.W.

answers from Youngstown on

Some kids have nightmares. I would consider taking the movies away or looking for some that are less scary. I know my niece (almost 8) has nightmares based on what she watches. It is normal, some kids are just more sensitive to things like that. I know it doesn't sound fun but you could skip over the scary parts too.

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L.A.

answers from Austin on

Have you heard in "Dream coins"?

To me and you they look like quarters, but they are actually talisman that keep the bad dreams away.
Place them under her pillow and tell how they will protect her so she will not have bad dreams.

Also my mom used to tell us, when you wake up from a bad dream, roll over to your other side and the dream will go away! It works.

Extremely bright and creative children tend to have more nightmares.. They are good at making up stories.. Just reassure her as you do, that they are just bad dreams and are not going to come true.

Also talk about how Nemo and other animation are Mae beleive.
I once asked our daughter when she was this age, is this real? She said no it is just a cartoon.

Another time I was watching the news and was yelling at the tv and our daughter said "mom, it is just tv, they cannot hear you." she was 4.

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