How Old Does a Child Have to Be to Spoil Them?

I had the same problem with my daughter and it got so bad that she only wanted to be with me and not her dad. So I decided to take her to play groups with other kids and places were she would have to spend a little time without me. At first we had a difficult time but it's gettng better now and she is enjoying the time with other kids

You can not spoil a 2 1/2 month old baby :) at that age they need the comfort of closeness, especially the warmth of your skin. Picking up and attending to your crying baby won't spoil him. For the first few months, you are getting to know your baby and they are getting used to being in the world. By being responsive to crying, you are letting your baby know that they are loved and cared for and that will make him feel secure. Some great reading (like you have time, right! lol) would be The happiest baby on the block by Dr Karp. I highly recommend that book, it has great info to help you with your newborn. Enjoy the sweetness of your little one, these newborn days are gone way too fast! Best wishes, and congrads on your new addition :)
S.
Mom to 5yr old and 5 month old boys :)

Hi my name is K. and my son is now almost 4. I just wanted to give you some advise on your question. My son was the same way. I bought some fun tunes for him and actually it worked wonders. They are just tunes by kids for kids. I can't remember the names of them but, anything that was for kids, my son loved to hear them. My son would scream the entire car ride, I mean scream and I just had a thought that this music would work. I bought The Bear in the Big Blue House c.d. from Babies R Us and he loved it. This c.d. wasn't even kids singing, it was the bear and all the animals singing on it. Then I went to Ross and found like 6 for a total of $10.00, these c.d.'s were by kids and he loved it. It does become annoying to hear all the songs and you will learn all the words but, I just wanted to make my son happy and this really helped. We took a road trip to N.C., when he was 4 months old and we listened to these c.d.'s the entire way, or atleast until he fell asleep for his naps. It made the entire road trip so much better. It may have driven us crazy but, it really was much better than having an upset baby. Hope that this helps!!! Try it, you may be really surprised. Every baby is different but, it can't hurt to try.
Sincerely,
K.

Like you I am also a first time mom of a 2 1/2 month old son. I just went thru the exact problem. While I don't think you can spoil him right now, I also think it's important for him to learn to self soothe himself. Have you ever seen the sharpie commercial with the baby that cries when put down and is perfectly happy when picked up? Conner started doing that a couple weeks ago, but I was at my witts end before long. His doctor told us that when we did strap him in his swing or put him down for sleep to walk away for for five minutes, if he's still fussing then go back in, don't pick him up but pat his tummy and talk to him and walk out again, and repeat as needed. At first I thought it was cruel, but it worked! As long as I know he's dry, been fed, and not hurt then I would do it until he was sleeping or content playing in his swing. Now I can get housework done without him strapped to my chest and he's happy watching and listening to me. I hope this helps a little. Good luck.

I HAVE to agree with the first response. I have seen MANY times when parents do this sort of thing and it ends up "backfiring". At 2 1/2 months old I held and loved my baby a LOT too. What I did though was also spent a lot of time with him on the floor also. I would lay him down to practice working his legs and arms, etc. We would also just lay there and 'talk' to eachother. I think doing things like this helped me when it came to leaving his sight and not holding him. As I would be in another room for a few minutes I would try to talk to him too. Of course at that age it's not like you're leaving them for a LONG time, just a couple minutes so it's not gonna hurt him to not carry on. Again like the first lady said, he will get used to whatever you do! That is a fact. EVERYBODY is like that, even adults. You get in a routine and that's what you do. It is VERY hard to break routines and habbits. So do what YOU feel is best for you and your baby (AND husband). Just remember again that there is going to be a time when you HAVE to be away from him (what do you do when you even go to the bathroom or shower? I used to set my son's chair in bathroom when I would shower and let him play with toy on it as I talked to him.) and he will be worse and harder to break the older he is.

Hi J.,

According to many of the experts, you can't spoil an infant. They need your love and attention. When they cry, they are just trying to tell you that they want something, whether it is food, a change, or just some love. Here is a helpful Web page, in case you want to read about it.

http://www.drgreene.org/body.cfm?id=21&action=detail&...

Also, no matter what you do, your son WILL have separation anxiety. Is a healthy, normal part of growing up. It coincides with an intellectual skill called object permanence. That is when they are able to recall what it is that they are missing. Here is another helpful Web page about it.

http://www.drgreene.com/21_1183.html

I hope this helps!
T.

The doctors say that a baby can not be spoiled until they are three months old, but I say as a mother of two daughters now 4 and 6 that what you get them used to is what they will expect all the time. I know that being a first time mother is hard, but if you intend on being a stay at home mother or if you intend to go to work in a while you really should get him used to being in other things and places without having to see you all the time. My sister was just going through the same thing, and I helped her through it before I moved here to Florida. Try putting him in a swing and let it rock him lightly and go wash your dishes or put him on the floor with a blanket and let him stare at playground toy. But whatever you do don't pick him up right away if he begins to cry. He will learn that you are there but that you will not come running evrytime he cries. You will learn the difference in his cries. They will sound different when he is hurting, sick, and when he is just looking for your attention. Just remember that at some point you will want to go somewhere and what you get him used to someone else will have to deal with, and if no one wants to deal with a spoiled baby that needs all the attention at all times you will probably be sitting with your son wherever you go. My sister learned the hard way. Her daughter is 4years old and we just broke her out of this, this year. While my husband was here in Fl. getting things set up for us to come down she satyed with me in my place in CT. and everything I warned her not to do, she did, and when we started trying to get her daughter to stop it was hard but it got done. Don't wait until you are expecting again to break old habits. It's very tiresome. Now evrything that she did with the frist, she is making sure she does not do with her son. So far so good. If you need anything else you can e-mail me at ____@____.com

I read that babies don't start to have long term memory until they are 12 months and in the mean time they don't understand that when you leave you will come back. In other words I don't think you should worry about spoiling your baby until hes a bit older. I held my daughter when ever she cried or fussed until she was about 12 months and now at 20 months she isn't spoiled and shes very independant and plays by herself for long peroids of time. Pick him up, he'll know that your a safe haven at an early age, what could be wrong with that?

Dear J.,
You will hear a lot of people tell you a young baby can be spoiled, but your baby has not reached the level of brain development needed to become spoiled or to manipulate you. Babies cry for many reasons including hunger, being tired, being uncomfortable and being bored. You could try a baby sling or Baby Bjorn. (Although my son happened to hate it until he was five months.) Keep your son close. Sometimes babies are just fussy. Also nothing you do now will prevent (or cause) separation anxiety in the future. Quickly responding to your son's cries now will help develop a more secure child who will eventually cry less. Also it is okay for your baby to cry. It won't hurt him if you need to quickly get something done like a shower or going to the bathroom. Good luck!!
K.

You can definatly spoil them at that age, regardless of what some people say. I have two children and lots of experience with others. As soon as they can recognize the fact that when they fuss you come, they are spoiled. Not that there is anything wrong with that, I say spoil them. That's what loving parents are for, so your child knows you are always there for them. It does not make them a bad child when they are older, just more loved :)

Hi J. -

Don't let anyone convince you that you can spoil your baby at this age. Now is the time to instill a sense of confidence and security within him so that he can grow into his independence in a healthy way.

The power of love and affection is a great thing. Case in point: While my cousin and his wife were at work during the day, my Auntie Nancy cared for their son, Tucker, who was born without the tissue that connects the left and right hemispheres of his brain. Because Tucker was missing this vital piece, the doctors predicted that he would grow up to be relatively autistic, thus showing little to no emotions and possibly little intelligent understanding. Auntie Nancy decided that no matter what the doctors predicted, she would shower Tucker with tons of love and affection everyday to let him know that he was not only acknowledged, but loved beyond all measure. Within just a month or so from his birth, Tucker exhibited miraculous signs of positive, emotional interaction with people and today at nearly six, he's one of the brightest students in his class. That's the power of love and affection for you!

As a final thought, you can spoil children when you give into their superficial wants because you neither have the patience or the energy to stand your ground. Children usually develop superficial needs after age one and spend the rest of their childhoods honing ways to get their parents to give in.

Blessings to you and yours.

That young you arent spoiling him! just be careful at bed time because as he gets older he may start to cry knowing you will come tom him and that will make for alot of sleepless nights, as far as seperation anxiety, all kids go through that and in different forms, no matter if they are "spoiled" or not that is part of the growing up but at 2 months you arent spoiling him

this is totally normal for this age group. number one, he has bonded with you by now, he knows your face, your smell, your sounds...it is only natural that he would miss you and fuss a little when you walk away, to him you are his comfort zone, his security. number two, i am a firm believer that at this age, you can not spoil this child with too much love. you are building a relationship and he needs to trust you. so being there when he needs you helps aid in this trust. i have a 16 month old son who was the same way when he was younger, and i asked the same questions as you and that is the advice i got. now, he is a perfectly happy little boy, who yes may want mommy to pick him up some times but not to the extreme. also, all babies eventually have some sort of separation anxiety (i think it starts around 8 months or so), so just remember it will be harder on you than him. good luck!

my mom always told me you can never spoil a child. when a child gets fussy and crys a lot when you walk out the door, specially if you are trying to get someplace important, never go and hold him, get to his/her level and say look, mommy will be right back and i promise i will be with you. holding a child all the time doesn't make them spoiled. just be calm and he/she will finally realize you cannot always hold them when they cry.
i never really had a problem until i had my second child. every sescond i walked out the door she would kick and scream, but i always told her she was going to be okay and i will be back.