My son, who's 9 year old, likes me to either read to him or just snuggle with him when he gets in bed at night. I usually lay in there for about 15 minutes. Sometimes he falls asleep before I leave, but sometimes he is still awake. Sometimes I fall asleep and end up in there for about 45 minutes. My husband thinks he's too old for this. I think my son will decide (all too soon) that he doesn't want his mom there. My husband says I'm weird (not so much the reading, but the snuggling). Do you think this is weird?
Thanks so much, everyone. Your feedback brought tears to my eyes. I especially loved the comments from the one mom who said that her older children now lay down with her and talk about their issues. I think it is a nice quiet time to reflect on the day. Thanks for the suggestions too on how to appease my husband.
I still snuggle with my 8 year old son before bed and I'm not planning on stopping anytime soon. When my husband puts the kids to bed he also lays down with them for a little while and I don't think it's weird. It's the best time to just sit and talk to them about their day or anything else that they want to share.
Good luck,
K.
You just keep snuggling! You're right - too soon he will decide it's weird & won't want to snuggle, but for now embrace it! :)
Its not weird and pretty soon it will morph into the next stage. The next stage is when they will come in to talk with you when your getting ready for bed or you may already be in bed. They will lay next to you and talk. the lights are if not out then low and they can talk about all the things teens stress over. don't for any reason discourage this. Sometimes sitting at the kitchen table under a harsh light kids don't tell all the things they are stressing over. But in a different situation they will talk your ear off. My kids would come in and lay on the bed next to me while my husband was showering. sometimes if he saw it was an intense conversation he would go and watch tv while the teen talked. As they got older they would still do it. my sons are in college now and sometimes when I am in bed at night they will still come lay down on dads side and talk but they know I am going to fall asleep lol. they just want the few minutes of closeness. its a good thing. and sometimes its a joke lol. I will say to them why don't you come in and talk to me for a minute before bed. they will say.."I know that trick you just want me to talk you to sleep again" lol
I hope my boys want to snuggle when they are 9! Snuggling is good for them. It gives kids comfort at the end of along day and lets them know mom and dad are there. It relaxes our muscles and our minds and we sleep better. How many of us are so used to snuggling with our spouses that we can't sleep without them? I know I can't! My oldest is 7 and because I don't like climbing into his top bunk bed, he now requires daddy snuggle with him for at least 15 minutes everynight. Becase they butt heads so much during the day (they are waaaaay too much alike), this is how they sort of "forgive" each other every night. Humans crave other human touch, whether you are 9 or 90. It's biological. I would walk up to my mom sitting on the couch and snuggle up next to her to watch Lifetime movies all throughout high school. It was a perfectly relaxing thing to do on a Sunday afternoon. No biggie! Snuggle away!
I see nothing wrong with a mother and son being affectionate with each other. My son is 12 and although I don't actually lay down with him anymore, he STILL likes it when I "tuck him in" with a big hug occasionally. It is getting less and less, though. I'm sure within a few months I'll be the most uncool person in his life and he'll pretend I don't exist. So for now, I'll cherish every moment of it. Luckily, I still have two younger daughters who love to snuggle with their mommy!
Hi Kelli
I do not think your weird. My son is 10 and me and my husband both still cuddle with him. for him this is the time of day he will talk to us about his day and anything that may be bothering him. So we will probably always make it a point to stick around his room alittle longer at bed time even when he gets older. Do you think your husband is wishing he could get more time with you and this is his way of telling you. Ithink you should have atalk with your husband and see if you can get to the true meaning of "weird" and keep snuggling with your son for as long as he wants. T.
I totally agree with all the other responses - I have a daughter who is almost 7, and I can't imagine not having our nightly snuggles and reading time. For us it is a very special time of the day. The house is quiet and there is nothing to worry about getting done. It's just the two of us (although sometimes we invite daddy to join us) and she tells me what's on her mind and we take turns reading. I take over reading when she starts to get sleepy and eventually she drifts off. The sweetness of her snuggliing up to me to fall asleep is something that neither of us want to give up. I'm sure that one day (hopefully a long time from now), she'll want her own space. But for now, and as long as it lasts, it's nightly snuggles for us!!
So my advice - explain to your husband what the time you spend with your son means to the both of you, and hopefully he'll understand and be okay with it. Maybe he should join you and your son for a book and then he'll understand why it's so important to you. If not, I hope that you'll continue to take the time with your son anyways because you both deserve the comfort that you get from your routine.
Good luck! Enjoy it while it lasts.
not weird
enjoy, teenage comes so fast
best,k
my nephew is 11.5 and he still snuggles his mom for a bit before bed, then she moves on to snuggle his younger sisters. all at their request. i dont plan on stopping the snuggling until my son requests it. i was 16 and i would lay in my moms bed with her for a few mins before she went to bed, talking to her.
My son just turned 9, and loves snuggle time every night. I admit, Iove it as much as he does, and I will be sad when it ends. I don't know what age is too old, if there is one, but I don't think this is it! Enjoy!
I think you are incredibly fortunate that your 9yr old still wants to be close to you and have some snuggle time.
Watch this video and you'll want to keep on snuggling him! Have your husband watch it and he'll encourage it.
The Gift of an Ordinary Day:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=olSyCLJU3O0
Enjoy it while you can...... ditto on he will morph into the next stage before you know it and it will be over.
They grow up too fast.
As long as both of you are comfortable, there is no such thing as too old for it! You are right that soon he will no longer be interested in snuggling, so take advantage while you still can. Nothing weird about the love between a mother and child at all. You will treasure this time always, so keep doing it while you can. I have two boys 14 and 15 and the snuggling days are long gone, but I still remember how wonderful it is. You are a lucky mommy!
I agree with the other posts. . .enjoy it while it lasts. I think it is sweet. I have two boys, 3 1/2 and 20 months, and I hope they still want to snuggle with me when they are that age.
Mom's know best and I think you're right. I say milk it.....he will all too soon not want you in his room or even next to him for that matter... wait for puberty, etc. Enjoy what you have as long as it does not hinder the way he falls asleep or get too anxious to sleep without you. Maybe suggest a few nights where he goes in on his own but enjoy the special time together. As for your husband's concern: remind him that he will not be needing mom to sleep with at night when he goes to college....or high school sleep overs. There is plenty of time for alone time when he gets older (and will be requested then).
I'm 29 and I still snuggle with with my momma sometimes (although we no longer live in the same state) and my momma and her siblings who are all in their 50s STILL snuggle with their parents.
Oh, and I think your husband just feels left out.
I see where everyone says it's ok, but what if it's the father snuggling with his four year old daughter? My daughter and I snuggle before she goes to sleep and my wife thinks it's weird. I want to know what people's thoughts are on this matter. I've read where some people say it's wrong but when you read and it's the mother and son as is this post it's ok. This is a double standard no matter how you look at it. But anyways I would like some input on this matter. My daughter and I snuggle when putting her to bed. It usually last about 15 minutes is depends on how quick she falls asleep. Sometimes I fall asleep and wake up later and move to the couch or put her in her bed and sometimes I just stay their and turn over the other way. My wife keeps telling me it's weird and I keep telling her to stop making something so innocent into something dirty. We are fully clothed when snuggling. Also my wife does it and she says it's ok and I don't have a problem with her snuggling with our daughter. So please tell me what's the difference and am I doing anything wrong? My daughter always ask me to snuggle buggle with her when going to bed or before I have to go to work.
My son is 8 and still wants us to lay with him. However, since there is a 3y old in the house too, that's not always possible. Most nights we just say no. On nights when he's not feeling well, we will stay for a bit.
I think reading together is a nice mom-kid time activity. To make hubby happy, perhaps you could start changing the routine buy leaving as soon as the reading is over.
M.
