How to Deal with Inappropriate Gifts from Relatives

Hi A.,

I totally agree with Jodi. It is an outside toy and should only be used outside.

But most importantly, it really isn't a big deal and you should accept it and let it go.You will never be in complete control over what your child loves, wants to play with, and certainly not what he gets as gifts that he LOVES. Break loose a little before you drive yourself nuts.

My son got one when he was two and I was totally freaked out at first. His dad had him in there with his 9 year old brother driving. I thought I was going to have a heart attack. But honestly, they were fine. My son (who is now 4) could drive it like a pro at 3- backing up, making sharp turns, you name it. Not a big deal. Trust me!

I would not say a thing. If you can't beat em, join em- right? Next spring, be the first to take your son out there riding it in the backyard. :)

I guess I am not in the same boat as all the other moms.
I think A. G has a valid complaint. We are not the mother of her son, she is. Sometimes we get inappropriate gifts from our family and friends. Kids these days forget what it is like to make their toys work on their own. Kids are far to over stimulated with all the toys of today. I say tell your hubbies siblings just that: I feel that my son should power his bike with his own two feet and his center of gravity. Kids need excercise and they need to feel pride when mastering something like riding a bike.

And if they want him to have a nice extrvagent gift they can get him a leapster or something that is fun and educational and allows his mind to work in a fun playfull setting.

I doubt they think your a witch!!!!, you just know what you like and don't. Maybe you can involve them in what ever you buy once you get the store credit??? That way it's still their gift. I think you know what you want to do, nothing anyone of us say on here should influence you one way or the other. DO WHAT YOU WANT!!!!!

Just explain that maybe when he is much older a gift like this will better be appreciated by all.

I think your thinking too hard about this, your son can still ride a bike and play with the power wheels, its just something different and its not that unsafe with parental supervison, I think if you return this you will disappoint your son and offend your family just let you kid be a kid

A.,

I completely understand your concern about him needing excercise.. Some of my family thinks I'm strange for only allowing my children to watch an hour of television Sat. & Sun., and no t.v. during the week.. and if they do watch television it is usually educational, but mostly they play outside.

Saying that, may I suggest that you keep the gift (as not to hurt your in-laws feelings), but limit the time and ways you use it? Most children are not able to peddle a bike on there own at age 2, they just don't have the leg strength or the hand-eye coordination. From what I have seen, they can usually get the jist of a small bike by age 4.. So it would give your son a new way to be mobile, which he would find exciting. Suggestions might be to only let him ride it outside with either you or your husband present, and limit his time to maybe 15 minutes or a couple trips with you around the block..

Just a suggestion

~J.

Its a great gift.. let him be a kid! Just limit the use, its really not a big deal! And its an OUTSIDE toy, not inside! Just appreciate the gift and let him play with it! OMG,He's a kid! Nothing dangerous about the battery powered ride ons as long as parents are supervising their kids! Heck a bike would be a lot more dangerous, if ya really break it down. My daughter(3 1/2 yrs) has a power wheels and she barely goes in it. She does ride her bike mostly, but its there when she wants something different! Kids see us driving all the time, its exciting for them to try it out and feel "big".. Good Luck, I hope you don't make them think you're a worse witch (: Merry Christmas

A., you have my sympathy. I agree with you about the power wheels, but that's not really the point. We also have relatives who give inappropriate gifts, but we live far away from all of them, so they never have to know that we don't use the gifts, since they never ask. That solution probably doesn't work for you, though.

If the usual excuses would involve a lie (no room for it, son is scared of it, it doesn't work, it was stolen), maybe you will just have to thank them profusely for their generosity, then add "but we have decided that DS will have non-powered riding toys". Don't say anything negative about the gift or especially about their judgment; only talk about your own choice. Make sure that you know in advance that your husband will back you up. Ideally, he would be the one to talk to his siblings.

Keep in mind that there is always a chance that these relatives will get angry and upset! Or they might not. Rehearse some mature, loving responses ahead of time.

I'm sure I will encounter this problem when our relatives try to give our son toy guns! No way, not in our house!

Is it really worth the upset it's going to cause your family. You said they already think you are a witch and this will only perpetuate hurt feelings. It's just not that big of a deal. My son had one and he still road his bike and played outside. It's like any other toy, they play with it sometimes and other toys at other times. You definitely want to have him play with this one outside or in a basement unless your hsb is a painter. Just relax and let your child enjoy this totally cool toy! It's quite a gift!

Hi A.,
First of all, that is an outside toy...so it should not be doing any damage to your home. Secondly, my oldest got one when he was 2, and a larger one when he was 5. My baby grew into one...and may I say, drives better than my husband! He can back up like a pro (in the jeep style that has reverse). Anyway, these toys have not hindered either of my sons from wanting to ride their bigwheels or 2 wheelers. Honestly, they have a totol of 2 larger ride ons, 2 2 wheelers and about 4 tricylce/bigwheels. I would say they ride the ride ons a lot less than the others, and probably because they are always around...you know, when it is not new, it is not played with as much. My kids are very active regardless of these machines.
That said, if you still want to return it, dont feel you have to explain it to them. Just do it. If they ask, let them know you would prefer a manpowered bike, and took it back and let your son pick out something on his own.

Hi,

My sister in law bought battery powered train on tracks for my son last year. I was a bit upset with her for several reasons, it was quite expensive and I know money is tight for them. It's a large gift and our space is limited and also for you reason as well. As cool as it was, I didn't see much value in it. However, as much as I would have loved to say something to her, especially about not asking first, I didn't want to hurt her feelings or sound ungrateful. I was gracious, thanked her profusely and made a decision to give her hints for future gifts. It has worked.

My son got one from my mother when he was three. He didn't even want to ride it that much and would always rather ride a "real" bike than the powered one. They can only do so much on them.

If you really want to return it, you should probably have your husband do it. They are his siblings and he would know best on how to deal with them. If he does it the right way, you two can look like a united team and not like you are the wicked witch.

I was going to comment but I was basically going to say exactly what Lisa M has already said! I do not believe that having a motorized toy will take any physical activity away from your child. That is an awesome and expensive gift and I would not personally want to offend them especially if your already thought of as a witch (which I see why.. j/k) lol

I agree and disagree with your reasoning for not having the ride on. It is a fun OUTSIDE toy if used in moderation in the summer. When we feel our kids are on it to much the battery usually dies and we just don't charge it back up right away. That way the toy is a treat not the norm. Then get out the bikes. It's not something you need to use year round even if the giver feels you should. Once the gift is given it's up to the reciever, or the parent in this case, to decide how and when it is used. So if you are feeling pressure from the giver or your husband to use it inside you need to say "no, it's an outside toy. We'll go back to enjoying it next spring." and leave it at that. Take the battery out and put it in a safe place inside until next spring. Make sure it's only used on flat surfaces and it's totally safe.

For future presents suggest something you'd like. Present it as if you've all ready purchased way to may gifts for the occation and want a particular item for your child and wondered if they would mind getting it. That way you don't look like you're telling them what to get. Make sure you do it far enough ahead so that they haven't all ready shopped. Make sure you convince them that your child really wants whatever it is and they'd be doing you a favor. It might work better then telling them whatever they get is inappropriate and that you're returning it. Good luck!

Hi A.,

I know how you feel! My son is 17 and I didn't want him to drive, but I had to support him in this. He wants a gun collection and to eventually buy a motorcycle. I have to let him do "guy" things if I want him to be a strong, solid man one day. He gets good grades and makes great choices for himself. I will encourage all aspects of caution as he becomes the man God wants him to be.

Consider allowing the toy with restrictions to the backyard or only for use when Daddy is supervising, or only when you visit your local Metro Park. With proper supervision, children are having the time of their lives on them. Read the reviews. The only negative comments are things like "cheap plastic" or "takes a long time to assemble".

If you keep him from doing things that can potentially be dangerous, you can shelter him into being more feminine or unadventurous. I would be more afraid of raising an effeminate son than having him learn a lesson when he runs into the fence on his power wheels toy.

Sheltered children become college drop outs because they can't handle all of the choices suddenly available or the peer pressure. Children allowed to choose for themselves learn how to make good choices.

Good Luck. Raising boys is not easy on Mom!

Merry Christmas to you and your family.

D.