"How to Deal with Temper Tantrums"

The thing about temper tantrums, yelling, crying is that in the past one of the above has worked in their benefit. I would totally ignor the behaivor. I would step over him, talk like he is doing nothing and leave if that is what is necessary. Then, after you have him out of there and calmed down, "punish" him for the bad behaivor. EX: 3 minute timeout in the nauty chair. Perhaps right there at the daycare, since by the time you get home he may have no idea why he has to sit in timeout.
he is trying to manipulate you. that is why people express emotion, to relay to you how (sad, mad, angry) they are. otherwise they would just use words.
good luck.
mer

I don't have any advice on how to deal with the tantrums, but I believe it's a good sign that he wants to stay there! He's very comfortable there and clearly cares about his caregivers. What a comfort that must be to you and your husband to know you've chosen someone who takes such good care of him!

Hi M.,

I also have a 2 yr. old who is having tantrums. The only difference is she's not in daycare. Whenever we are going out & I have to put her jacket on she runs away & then drops to the floor & won't move. What I found that sometimes works is telling her where we are going & making it a huge deal even if it's just going to the store. Alot of the time she doesn't care & fights while I put her jacket on. I usually ignore the bad behavior at that point & she sometimes forgets about it. I've been told by many people that our children are always testing us so I guess this is one of those times. I hope this helped in someway.

Could you talk to your provider and have her get him to start cleaning up and getting his stuff together when you are on your way? Maybe he just hates to leave cause he is in the middle of something ya know. You could also maybe tell him if he can go X amount of days without acting up he can get ____.

Good luck

I am fortunate enough to have family friends that watch my children. My daughter LOVES them. When I walk in the door she frequently yells, "NO! NO! I want to stay here! I want to stay with Aunt Teffie!" or something like that. I'd have to bribe her to get into the car...and she'd cry and carry on. It used to really upset me. I felt like a bad mom because my little angel didn't want to be around me....

One day, she went to someone else's house for a little while. When I came to pick her up...She was standing at the door looking out and waiting for me. When I came in, she said she wanted to go home. She picked up her diaper bag and stood next to me....And, that was worse than 1,000 tantrums. I felt horrible that she wanted to leave there so badly.

Since then, I've gladly accepted the tantrums about leaving. I no longer look at it like she doesn't want to be with me. I am thrilled that my little girl is in a safe and loving environment!

My daughter doesn't throw the tantrums as often anymore (she's almost 3). But, "Aunt Teffie" is still the center of her world! The bond she has with her differs than the one she has with me. And, neither of us can be replaced.

My son is 7 months old now. I'm sure in no time, he'll be throwing a fit when he has to leave too. I will embrace the tantrums...and I encourage you to do the same. You are lucky.

It's most likely just a phase. My daugher who's almost 5 still goes through this. For a few weeks she so excited to see me when I pick her up, other weeks she cries cause she's not done playing. My son who's 19 months is always excited to see me, but he's got a little crush on one of the teachers so some days he just doesn't want to let her go. He'll grow out of it, I know it is frustrating though. Maybe you could have something that he enjoys when you pick him up, whether it be a stuffed animal, blanket, etc. My kids also love getting in the car if there's a snack in there for them. Good luck!

Both my kids used to do that when they went to daycare it made me feel good and bad good because they felt so comfortable and bad because it was like they don't want to go home with me...I talked with tthe teacher and a half hour before i was going to pick them up they teacher would let them know mommie is coming and start to have them clean up and put there stuff in there bag so the change when i got there wasn't as dramatic and i also when i got there i would kneel down and let them tell me what they did they put there jacket on and let them get there important stuff and after a week the transition went very smoothly...

Have the care giver try giving him forewarning " you have ten minutes unil mommy comes lets get ready" establish a routine,wing him out of the activity he is engaged in and provide an alternative use a kitchen timer to help him understand the suggeted time frame. Probably will take a couple dry runs before he is use to it but this will become just another thing that makes daycare fun (great) P.S. not everyone has such a great daycare experience so try and take the good with the bad......

I really don't have any advice that you probably haven't tried already. Though I will say take it as a good sign that he's throwing these tantrums. If he loves his provider that much you must have found a good one!!

Be thankful he's throwing them when you go to pick him up not drop him off!

yes it is and he would get over it just wait

I have a daycare in my home, and I believe that letting the child know that Mommy and or Daddy will be here in 10 min is a great way to prepare them to settle down and get things cleaned up and get their things together. I really only have to do this with the 3 yr olds. I think that it is great that your son loves his provider. That says alot!

Hi M.,
Maybe try a transition object (lollypop, small teddy bear, juice box, toy car) something small, of interest and easy. It might get his mind off of the actual transition. If it works after you get into the car tell him you like how he got into the car today. Just a thought- good luck

have something special to doeveryday when u get home - the time spent w/u @ something special everyday will sweeten the pot

Hi M.. My 18mo old son loves his daycare provider too. He sometimes throws a tantrum with me and my husband when we pick him up too. It makes us feel horrible when he does this, although he doesn't do it everyday, thank god. What I do when I pick him up and he doesn't want to come with me I ask him if he wants to go home and play with one of his favorite toys. I don't know how your son is but mine so very easy going and most of the time he gets his excited about that and comes with me. Or I tell him we are going outside which he loves to do and no hassle there. Hope this helps you out. Take care, S.

My daughter, who is now 4, went through the same thing and to this day rejects the idea of going home. It is actually a good thing that our children are so comfortable with their daycare mom! But, oftentimes I would pretend that I was just going to go home without her and casually mention going home to do something that I knew would be enticing to her. Like, "Gosh, I sure could use your help tonight making those cookies but I guess I will have to do them all by myself." That usually works...and is all else fails pick the child up screaming. They'll get over it!