My daughter will be 2 years old. She is in a bad hitting stage. She absolutely won't sit still for tme outs. She knows she shouldn't do it. After she hits, she says I love you mommy. I need some suggestions on how to effectively dicipline her. She is my first and this is a new stage that I stuggle with.She also stars to act wild when I put her in time out and laughs. Any suggetions would be greatly appreciated.
Binnie,
Mike didn't get to sit still in time out at that age, either. I used a booster seat, so I could use the straps in it. I'd put him in facing a blank wall, buckle him in, and start counting time. He absolutely hated it, and we lost the behavior in about 4 sessions.
Jess
Hello B.,
My son just finished with this stage. Yes, it does go away if dealt with in an appropriate manner. She probably is around lots of kids during work hours where she learned this behavior. It is very important to use the words "gentle" with young children. I had to catch my son's hands as he tried to hit and remind him too many times that "I love you and I do not hit you so please do not hit me". Maybe explaining love to her will help. You would be surprised at how much a 2 year old understands if it is constantly reiforced. Make sure that you let her know that you love her and do not hit her so please do not hit me. It helps to also tell children that it hurts you when she hits.(they understand ouchy or booboo) Follow it up with I do not hurt you so please do not hurt me. Sometimes I even over- exaggerated when he hit me to let him know that it hurt.
As for timeout, it is not a place where they can have the limelight. Just like the bedtime ritual constantly putting the child back 5 times. I think it is appropriate to use the child's age as a timeframe for timeouts. My son knew that after 2 minutes he was finished but it was the longest 2 minutes of his life.
Parenthood is awesome isn't it? I never knew I had this much learning to do...But it's fun! May you conquer this battle and onward to the next. Good luck, B.. M.
Hi. when she gets wiggly during time out tell her her time out does not start until she sits quiet and still and if she moves it starts all over. that helped with mine. Let me know how it works out
When my 2 year old son hits me, I look into his eyes (same level as him) and say in a firm, yet not yelling, voice "No hitting mommy. If you do it again you are going to bed." Or wherever your time out is. I could not get my son to sit still either during time outs so I make him sit in his bed. In order to make it different from his bed time, I leave all the lights on and tell him it is time to sit in his bed. Then I sit on the floor right next to his bed with my back to him and let him cry. Once in a while I will say when you are done crying and you say you are sorry you can get up. He keeps trying to get up but I just put him back on the bed in a seated position and tell him are you done? Are you ready to say sorry to mommy for hitting her? When he says all done, I know something has gotten through. I tell him to say sorry to mommy and that he cannot hit mommy or anyone else. Well he has not been hitting me anymore. He does not like sitting in his bed I guess. You just have to keep trying until you find something that works. Keep your head up and remember you are the parent. They do not know enough to run the house yet, we do. Even when we convince ourselves that we are horrible parents for __________ fill in the blank. Remember, everything will turn out fine in the end. It’s just the trip there that makes us nuts. LOL have a great day!
well even thought she says I love you mommy-you should still put her in time out. letting her get away with it just because she says that will send the wrong message. and for the not sitting still part...well your time doesnt start untill you are calm and quiet and if she starts to talk or gets up sit her back down and start the time again repeat this untill she sits in time out for her full time-no matter how long it takes if she pitches a fit for an hour wait untill shes done then put her in the time out chair. only put her in for 1 minute for every year of her age it sounds kinda dumb but to her 2 minutes is forever.
hope this helps,
K.
Learned behavior - she watched someone - what confused me about my mother when we used to get whipping was she would say, "I'm doing this because I love you." I could never understand how you can say I love you and hurt you at the same time. That never never made since to me.
I have a feeling she is watching someone do the same thing. Kids watch and repeat what they saw. I'm not sure if its in your house or someone else house she seen it. But she picked it up from someone. You have a great age, where you can teach her otherwise. Reward her when she does good. We did that for my oldest grandson he is about to be seven in December. We started out that way just to teach him that you get great things when you do right things. Now when he get's green days in school meaning he was good. He will call me and tell me Grandma I was good today. And if he has a bad day he will not for some reason speak to his mother but he will say, "grandma I had a bad day." And we will talk about it.
Good morning
i used to hit my son when he would hit me softly so i wouldn't hurt him. He would hit me anf laugh so one day I said come here after he hit me and I hit him and said does that feel good. After about 2 or 3 times he finally understood that this is not much fun cause now it's being done back to me. As far as time out not working. Try talking away a fave toy. That worked for me.
N.
If you put her in time out she will sit still. Every time she gets up sit her back down. I may take 45 mins to an hour but eventually she'll stop getting up. We started discipline with my son when he was 18 mos. He started by standing in the corner. That stopped working after a while. So now he sits on the Naughty Stair/Stool. We had a problem with him getting up too. But one day I couldn't take it anymore. I sat him down, told him to sit there until mommy said he could get up and he didn't. So I sat him back down. After about 45 mins he didn't get up anymore. Now we just tell him to sit and he stays. It's a test of wills. You just have to show her that yours is stronger then hers.
I agree with Jessica D.
This just something that you are going to have to stay consistent with .Find something like a booster set to strap her in or just simply keep putting her back in the corner. Every time she gets out start the timer over again.
When my daughter was younger I would put her in the corner and start the oven timer. She could get out when it beeped. If she removed herself before the timer I started all over again. Sure there were days where it felt like she spent most of the day in the corner, but after a short period of time she learned it was not fun to have keep standing there until she did her full time. She also realized that she could have been out of there along time ago had she just stood still a few minutes.
Now its funny she knows the rules she gets a minute for each year old she is. So now at 7 she gets 7 minutes, and she knows when she does wrong. She will just simply walk in the corner and tell me to set the timer for 7 minutes.
Good Luck...S-
