Hello fellow mamas! I have a little problem. When my daughter was about 8 months old we moved into 1 bedroom in my in-laws house. So it is the 3 of us in 1 room at night. She, unfortunately, still wakes up for a bottle in the early morning...around 2 or 4am. I can't let her "cry it out" because she'll wake the whole house. Some might say just let her, but her grandpa is the one who watches her and he works swing shift so he NEEDS to sleep all night as much as he can. How do I get her off the bottle and to stay in her own crib??? I don't mind her sleeping in the bed with me, but I know it is a bad habit which started when we moved. She used to sleep in her crib and fall asleep there with no issues. Now she has to fall alseep in our bed and we move her, but then when she wakes in the morning she screams to come back to our bed. Help anyone!!!
Put water in the bottle or give her a sippy cup. Have a family meeting prior to the change so every one is on the same page. Grandparents can support you if they understand what you are trying to accomplish.
A.
One of the best moms I know with two of the brightest most confident children I know slept in a very large bed (two big beds pushed together) until at least both children were in school. There is no bad habit about it and in some countries it is the norm. Think how safe and happy th children must be. Don't put her back in her crib. Let her go to her own little bed when she is big and able and wants the independence. And let grandpa get his sleep!!
Good luck.
Hi C.,
I totally feel for you and your situation. My son is almost 22 months. I suggest talking to your in-laws and letting them know you plan to get your daughter to sleep through the night and that she will need to cry it out for a couple of nights. They have been through it themselves, and in the long run it will be best for everyone. At 18 months, your daughter doesn't need a bottle in the middle of the night. I recommend 2 books by Burton White, PhD, "The First Three Years of Life" and "How to Raise a Happy, Unspoiled Child". They have helped me enormously. They have them in the Sacramento Library System. Just call to request them. We put our son to bed in his crib at 7:30 PM and he wakes at around 6:30AM. He naps from 11AM-2PM. He usually fusses for a few minutes when we first put him down to bed, but then goes to sleep. He used to wake in the middle of the night for a bottle and none of us slept. We tried everything before we allowed him to cry it out. It was agonizing for everyone. He cried for hours that first night. I went in to him several times to comfort him, but remained strong (although I was crying inside). The second night, he cried for a long time, but not as long as the first. The third night, for less than the previous night. All told, it only took perhaps 3 or 4 nights. After that, he began to sleep through the night. He feels much better and is a happier baby now that he gets a good night's sleep. We are happier, more well rested parents as well. He had to learn that night time is for sleeping, not for milk or for cuddling with Mommy or Daddy. I love my baby more than anything, and after trying every non-cry it out method, this was the best for us. I hope this helps you.
I have the same situation. No good advise, but sometimes it helps to know your not alone. I have a daughter who is a bit older who can't sleep when I let him cry it out an is so tired when I wake her to go to school the next day. My son is also still nursing. What to do????
C.,
Can you possibly afford to send Grandma and Grandpa to a hotel for a couple of days while you put your foot down? Buy them some earplugs? FInd someone else to watch her for a short period of time?
From the sounds of it, your daughter knows the score all too well. I'd be very surprised if she will "go quietly" on this one.
several things... bottle - I hope it is just water. My son has to have water (I think it is mostly habit & a "gotta have" more than a "need" thing but water is fine and who likes waking up in the middle of the night thirsty?)
Coordinate this with grandparents but I'm sure he has a "weekend" in his work schedule - maybe you could just do a cry it out (that sounds so awful but really, it is a good thing!) training session at the beginning of that. It is HARD the first night - she'll cry and cry until she finally is so tired and falls asleep (an hour for my son that first night, ow, it was so hard for me!) then the next night not as long till she "gets" that you mean it. It should only take a few days. But seriously, you cannot go to get her even after 45 mins of ear splitting screams. Or she'll just learn that she has to keep on screaming as long as it takes and eventually you'll come. It is hard, but it should only take a few days. After a week you'll have a girl who understands where her bed is and what her parents want her to do and do what YOU want, instead of you doing what SHE wants.
Another question - why is she falling asleep on your bed? Why not her own? She may be expecting to wake up where she falls asleep, since she thinks that is her bed, and "should" be there. If she goes to sleep in HER bed, and wakes up there, she'll know it is her bed and settle down to finish her night's sleep there. Otherwise it's like "hey, why am I not in my bed, put me back in my bed"
She might be cold waking up at that time. cover her. She's warm, diaper's dry, she's got a drink of water, she's fine. She sure will try to convince you otherwise the first few nights that she needs to be in your bed, but if you want her to sleep in her bed, stand your ground, it'll be a tough few nights but you ALL will be sleeping SO MUCH BETTER after!
If you are in the position that you've had to go live with family and raise your child in 1 bedroom, I hope you are looking for work or finishing your education so you can raise your family on your own.
It's hard to raise a toddler while walking on eggshells.
Gma and Gmpa are being generous by giving you a roof! Personally, I'd do what I had to do to keep the baby quiet. Find your own place, and move out.
at 20 months, we moved my kid to a bed in his own room. he was and still is free to come into our bed whenever he wants. sometimes i wish he would stay in his bed later, but for the most part he is spending most of his time in his own bed, more and more all the time, and we get family cuddle time in the mornings in our bed. he knows he is welcome and we get our space too. she will get over this. i wouldnt stress if i were you
Hi C.! My 12 month old has done the same thing. While we don't live in a one bedroom place with our in-laws, my cousin and brother-in-law live with us, and it's hard to have our son cry it out in the middle of the night. I am sure it has been extremely hard for you and your husband to not only have to move in with your in-laws, but also getting your daughter back into a schedule that you once had. I would talk to your in-laws and maybe they would be fine with the crying for a couple of nights while you sleep train. One thing that we do is pick him up when he is crying and give him a kiss and put him back in his crib. We rub his back and comfort him until he calms down. Sometimes that requires a few extra minutes (which in the middle of the night seems like hours). You are doing a great job and try not to listen to people that criticize the way you are living your life - when they don't even know the story! Hang in there!
We lived in 1 room from the time my daughter was 9 months until 18 months, and had 2 roommates. We dealt with some of the same issues. We always let her come into our bed when she woke up at 3 or 4 am. She is now a Strong, Independent, 6 yr old who goes to bed, in her own bed and room without a hassle and stays there (most nights). She broke the habit and it really wasn't as hard as people said it would be. I say if you are happy (and your hubs) to have her in your bed, let her. I choose the battles I fight, and this was one we didnt fight...it was more sleep for her and for us!
Hi C.,
It sounds like your little one has an imbalance and that is what is causing her not to sleep. She could be lacking in nutrition, or having problems relaxing her little body.
I put my granddaughter on a magnetic pad when she was 2 days old and added wholefood nutrients to her bottle and she slept well and was very rarely sick.
She is 7 today and knows what to do when she does not feel well.
If you would like to learn more check out www.nikken.com/ninamarie and read about me.
Have a happy and safe holiday.
N. Marie
I had a similar issue but was still nursing but either way I found a sippy cup that doesn't spill and put it in bed with us so she could have water whenever. It really only took 2 days of confusion about where the milk was and that was that. My daughter is in bed with us, and if you don't mind it might be a good start to the solution. Start by weaning her from the night bottle and once she is sleeping happily through the night then work on keeping her in her crib if that is still and issue. Good luck FYI I found of all sippy cups that the kleen Kanteen with advent top spills the least!
