How to Get Thru Homeschooling 5 Yr Old with a 3 Yr Old Running Around

Updated on November 22, 2010
K.B. asks from Aberdeen, MD
17 answers

I feel so defeated.....if I DO fnd something for my 3 yr old to do for a while then the 5 yr old has to know what she is doing (really thats if it is a short dvd) so she is distracted...I dont want to leave 3 yr old alone in 1room and take 5 yr old into another... this is probably a dicipline thing for me and my 5yr old and maybe just getting used to it??? But I want to scream...I always feel rushed and like its never "fun" for 5 yr old... thanks for any ideas......
K.

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T.C.

answers from Colorado Springs on

I get a little workbook for my 3 and 4 year olds to "do school" while I work with my olders. I show them how to do a page or two and let them have at it. I don't care really how well they do on it. I have no expectations. It is just a way for me to have time with my olders. Also, I will ask the youngers to build a train track for me, or something along those lines. Also, there are puzzles, paper and crayons, etc. Mix it up. A 5 year old shouldn't take too much time to school, in all honesty. But, they do need some uninterupted time if you are teaching reading, writing and math. You can try doing it in little chunks. Give the younger a small snack perhaps at some point to keep them busy. The 5 year old can have hers when she is finished. Try not to stress too much. This phase will be gone before you know it!

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R.N.

answers from Baton Rouge on

Please don't stop homeschooling!!! I can't believe the response on here was, "Maybe you'll put her in a public school." How ignorant. Anyway, I wish I had a better answer for you, but maybe you could have some "school work" for the 3yo to do too. Maybe coloring or learning letters of some kind. I haven't started homeschooling yet but I fully intend to. I have found a lot of help on different homeschool websites. You might try looking at Titus2.com at the Maxwell family. They are experts. I support you 100%. Keep up the good work. You are an excellent mom to take such a responsibility on!!!!!

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S.B.

answers from Washington DC on

I am in the same boat exactly! My 5 yr old has to know what my 3 yr old is doing and vice versa. My 3 year old learns right along with my 5 year old. I am taking Kindergarten pretty easy so mostly we read and then talk about the books. We use Five in a Row and it is excellent for their ages. Usually my 3 yr old listens to the story but then he usually ends up on the floor in front of us playing with some toy. Amazingly he is picking up a lot from just this. The other day he told me that the current book we were reading for the week had Onomatopoeia (words for sound effects) in it. I didn't think there was any but sure enough he was right. We also do science experiments and art projects which the 3 yr old loves just as much as the 5 yr old. Just remember that just because society says Kindergarten is mandatory doesn't mean it is a good thing for our kids to be pushed. Whenever my 5 yr old seems to be getting frustrated or distracted we just put things aside for a little while. My 3 yr old is included in most of what we do. Occasionally we will "do" school while he is napping but he is starting to give those up and he actually feels left out if we "do" it without him. I don't want my kids ending up like so many others (including my brother) that hated school because they were pushed to do something long before they were ready. That is one of many reasons that homeschooling is such a blessing!

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N.S.

answers from Chicago on

It's very hard to homeschool two when they are young! But it's not just a concentration thing for your 5-year old, if anyone is doing anything else in the room (like watching TV, even if she can't see it) my 9-year old is distracted.

You can involve them both in lessons. It won't hurt the 3-year old. If you're learning reading, then your 5-year old can read simple words to the 3-year old. If you're working on writing, both kids can use pencil and paper, maybe the 3-year old is just drawing pictures. There are probably lots of ways the 3-year old can "help" you. If it's counting, perhaps you can all count marbles in a bucket together.

There shouldn't be much seatwork for a 5-year old. It's also okay for both of them to watch educational DVDs together. I think the 3-year old might enjoy some of the science experiments too. In our homeschool group we have young ones and the older kids always love mentoring and helping the younger ones. Your oldest can help your 3-year old, and she won't even realize she's learning herself. Good luck! Keep doing what you're doing!

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S.S.

answers from Charlottesville on

IMHO what you need to do is find a local homeschooling group of Moms with children and ask them for tips about homeschooling those ages. I can think of little that I would be "teaching" to a 5 yo that couldn't include the 3 yo. At this age most learning takes place through directed and free play and daily living, not bookwork - unless you have a child who likes workbooks.
Read to your child, use magnetic letters and numbers on the fridge, play games, etc. Take the children on a walk and discuss what they see and feel. Homeschooling isn't just about sitting still at the dining room table doing bookwork. Don't make your only time alone with either child all about "school work", but strive to incorporate teaching into life. It wasn't that long ago that kindergarten was optional, so take a deep breath and go find a group of homeschooling moms to help give you and your children a lot more options.

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H.W.

answers from Washington DC on

K.,

I've been homeschooling for almost 10 yrs, and I think the stage you are in is the hardest. It does get easier! At 5, your kindergartener is just getting used to the discipline of schoolwork, and it's natural for her to get distracted by her sibling. She doesn't need to do a lot of formal schoolwork at this point. Maybe a bit of math (and even that can be fun...I recommend RightStart Math, which has lots of games and manipulatives), and some phonics and early writing work. The rest can be nature study (go for walks!), easy science experiments, and TONS of reading to both children. Some days you won't get a lot done. That's ok :). Relax, have fun, join a couple local homeschooling groups (field trip groups are great). Think about what your child enjoys, and then incorporate that into her learning (my son once told me to change his math problem from counting frogs to counting Star Wars rebel fighters!). I recommend Creative Homeschooling, A Resource for Smart Families (Lisa Rivero) and Home Learning Year by Year (Rebecca Rupp) for you to read. As others have said, include your 3 yr old in some of the learning, and give her other 'work' to do also. My 3 yr old does his best to distract his three older siblings, but he's gradually accepting that they can't play with him when they have schoolwork to do. I wouldn't recommend videos for the the 3 yr old while the kindergartener is working. We have a TV off rule while anyone is working on schoolwork because they all get distracted if the TV is on. Occasionally, they all watch an educational video, but I usually save that for afternoon. Timers work well too. Set a timer for 1/2 hr and tell the children that you will work with the 5 yr old while the 3 yr old works independently. When the timer goes off, they both get a treat (food or special activity). Just spend a lot of time doing informal learning and enjoying the time with them. Give yourself credit for taking on homeschooling and give it time to work. If you have any questions, feel free to email me.

H.

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L.M.

answers from Washington DC on

K.,
The yahoo group BWHE is a great resource for homeschoolers in the Baltimore/DC area. You will find tons of help there, as I did. Over 900 families on this listserve. Keep breathing. I also encourage you to stay with home schooling your children. Pay no attention to the posting that suggested putting your child in public school. Those of us who did have our children in public school know both sides. And now I'm glad my son has the opportunity to love learning, knows his learning style, can learn and socialize with all age groups and is at ease with talking to adults.
Good luck

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E.H.

answers from Washington DC on

i also have a homeschooled 5 yr old and a 3 yr old and a 1 yr old running around:) does your 3 yo take naps or have a rest during the day? that's a great time to get the more involved work done. i will also let my 3 yo do "learning" at the table with us. this usually involves a pre-k workbook, coloring book or whatever. i have an area set up near us with toys and stuff to keep the 3 yo occupied. he also will go into the basement to play on his own, but i can hear him and it's never been a problem. if my 5 yo is constantly interested in the little ones then school will take longer and maybe cut into outside time-it's his choice. i don't have a set schedule i usually try to start school when everyone is calm and ready for it. some days take longer than others. i know it can be so overwhelming some days, but i think you are doing a wonderful thing. and i'm sure your 5 yo absolutely thinks it's "fun" to stay home and learn with mom and sister. i'm not sure if you're part of a homeschooling group in your area, but there are definitely lots of families out there who have been doing this for years and have a wealth of knowledge and ideas. you are more than welcome to contact me if you just want to vent. i definitely feel your pain:) good luck to you.

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L.D.

answers from Washington DC on

We have had struggles with this as well. My kids are 9, 7,5 and 2. We do the majority of our school work, that includes me, when the 2 yo naps. Other than that we try to include her in the other activities we do. It is amazing to me how much she picks up and learns right alongside her siblings. She loves being one of the big kids! There are a lot of homeschool groups in Harford County too that might help you to get advice and ideas for the future. Keep up the good work! Homeschooling may not be easy but it is an awesome investment in the lives of your children!

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S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

aw, don't get discouraged, hon! it may well be that you're a bit too worried about table time, ie don't get so hung up on curricula and producing papers that you lose sight of the big picture.
breathe.
there is no 'rush.'
let your 3yo join in! and if she's too distracting, take 'em both out to do something exciting and vigorous, and work with your 5yo while the little one naps. homeschooling is as much about nature walks and rolling in leaf piles as it is about Math-U-See. you can always do the older child's more structured work (and at 5 there shouldn't be much of that) in the evening when your dh can take the younger.
it's a busy frenetic time of life when you've got 2 this young at home. it will all fall into place as you continue on, it really will, no matter how hard it seems to believe right now.
remember, homeschooling isn't something you 'get through' to get to the fun stuff, it IS the fun stuff! it's life, and you are all living it. enjoy!
:) khairete
S.

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A.J.

answers from Williamsport on

It is a discipline thing. My step sister home schools her 6 kids, and she could never do it if they didn't have a clear sense of the expectation of behavior during the homeschool hours. Once you have established a reasonable time span and breaks, you need to set up your 3 year old with a specific activity, and enforce cooperation, and the same with your 5 year old.
I had to discipline all 3 of mine to behave during my daughter's piano practice every day, including her! EVERY DAY, 3 year old bro suddenly wanted to play loudly "near" the piano, the baby wanted to tinker on the keys, the 4 year old wanted to stop playing and interact with them....I had to realize that teaching good behavior and restraint at times is good for all, so I disciplined each repeatedly with clear rules, and now it goes smoothly. Be firm, hang in there, and good work home schooling!

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M.S.

answers from Washington DC on

I am homeschooling my kids for the first time this year (ages 9 and 11) so I don't have your same problem with a three year old to entertain. The great thing about homeschooling is that you can set your own hours/days. Does the three year old take naps? If so try homeschooling during that time or if the five year old gets up earlier or goes to bed later then the three year old you can homeschool during that time. Hope this helps. And for the Mom who suggested public school - as far as socialization goes that is not a problem with my kids being homeschooled. You do not have to have kids in public school for them to socialize with other kids.

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M.R.

answers from Phoenix on

Even though I have not homeschooled, I have taught piano and raised 5 kids...my innate motherly recommendation is to include your 3 yr. old with their very own special assignment. They are great copiers and will mimmick what the older sib is doing. So I would pick up a coloring books, magna doodles, blocks, etc and have the younger sib practice alongside. Chances are the younger one will become a bit bored and wander off to play with their favorite toy of the moment and you can continue along and finish up the lesson.

Happy teaching!

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J.W.

answers from Washington DC on

I am a home daycare provider and do a preschool lesson with my kids (ages 7 mo, 8 mo, 2 yrs, 4 yrs and 5 yrs) every morning. It was challenging when the 2 year old wanted to be involved so I figured out a way to include him. We count and do the alphabet, and he does it with us. When the others are practicing writing, he has a piece of paper and sits right at the table with the others "coloring" his own page.

It can be a struggle, but finding an age appropriate way to include your 3 yr old will benefit everyone. You will know what she's doing, the 5 yr old will keep on learning and it will start to be fun.

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G.B.

answers from Tulsa on

I could not do homeschooling. I enjoy my daytime freedom too much. I always admire women who do it though. I guess my only thought was to put the 3 year old in some kind of Mothers-Day-Out program so you can concentrate on the school work. Or do the school work at naptime.

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R.M.

answers from Cumberland on

Remind the 5 yr old how annoyed she was to have a baby around when she is 15 and wanting to date. A three year old can learn the pretty much same things a five year old can learn. Teach them both at the same time and keep the tv off. It is a privilege to be raised in a family with siblings and a mother dedicated to home schooling them-drive that on home-often. Make a schedule-and stick to it.

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M.G.

answers from Dallas on

Do you live in a bad school district where homeschooling would be more beneficial than sending your kindergartner to a not so good elementary school? If that is the case, I understand. But, if your kindergartner would go to a good elementary school, why are you taking that wonderful, important experience away from her? It is very important for a child's social development to be in a classroom setting with other children. Maybe you will consider a public school for her next year.

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