Say your dad sent out a forwarded email to 6 or 7 people (including you), political in nature. It had glaring inaccuracies and you are on two different sides of the fence. You were going to ignore it, but then you replied to it (politely) asking to be removed from any future political emails that he may send out. You've ignored them in the past, but now just want him to stop sending them. He answers back by saying that you have 'tunnel vision.' You take the bait and provide reasonable and reliable information that shows him that he forwarded information that is simply not true and in fact, made up. Hours later, he sends another email to those that he emailed earlier, and apologizes for sending out 'inaccurate trash' (his words) and says that he'll be more discerning in the future. You are VERY surprised by this and tell him you admire and respect him for what he did. He answers back that he appreciates you educating him on the "untruths" and that you taught him a "BIG" lesson. All ends well.
Next day, your SIL replies to the apology email from your dad (she chose 'reply all' so that everyone received it). It is clearly directed at you, since everyone on the email list is of a different political affiliation than you and she has accurately surmised that it was you who told your dad his email wasn't true. A little backround: You are currently not speaking to your brother (her husband) over another issue so the rift is already there. You don't like or get along with your SIL after years of her rude behavior.
This is her 'reply all' response. Do you ignore it? Respond? Something else interesting to throw into the mix: although your parents do quite a lot for your brother's family, she still bags on them when they are not in earshot. So the text of her reply is very curious, indeed. Here it is:
"I would NEVER even think of fact checking you guys. Whether accurate...or inaccurate... I appreciate your thoughts, concern and opinions (always!). I have better things to do with my time than try and prove people wrong...especially family/friends. Besides, not sure if we can always “trust” the fact checking sources either. Rather than trying to prove someone wrong, prove yourself right or feel the need to correct family/friends, I’d rather enjoy the time we all have left together, regardless of our political views. Life is too short to let politics/differing opinions get in the way. Just wanted you to know that I love you both so much. I think you are the most spectacular parents and grandparents anyone could ask for and there is nothing you could do, say or email that would ever make me think differently. My family is VERY LUCKY to have you. No need to apologize! In fact, that’s ridiculous! We all make mistakes and have innocently emailed or spoken “inaccurate trash”...EVERY SINGLE ONE OF US. Most of just don’t feel this great need to bring it to each other’s attention. We love you very much! "
Thoughts??
My communications with my dad were direct and not 'reply all' -- I am not that kind of person who would want to embarrass another like that. And his reply to me was NOT facetious. He's not a person who spreads lies and he wanted people to know it.
LOL ... duly noted on the hypothetical-ness :)
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Thanks so much for all of your responses and the overwhelming consensus was ignore, ignore, ignore. Because what I really wanted to do was say: Why you over-the-top cheesy, ass-kissing reply-aller! How dare you and stay out of it! (Luckily, I have all of you and my hubby to vent to. Phew!)
P.S. As I was thinking about his more and more last night, it dawned on me that this foolish reply came from a woman who 90% of the time is at odds w/ her own biological parents/siblings, which makes it all the more amazing.
Good for your father for reading your response and admitting his mistake! I would ignore your SIL's letter, just let it drop. She's fishing for a response with this "over the top" gushing letter. Cheez...when I read it I'm hearing it in the sing-song kind of voice even...
Your SIL reminds me of a 4 year old relative of mine, who kept having to say "I'm being good" when I corrected my kids for something. There is no way I would respond to that kind of public rant. Her response if over the top and very childish, that's the impression she's created for herself. She has issues, obviously.
Ignore it. For me it falls under the heading - if you can't say anything nice, then don't say anything at all. A lesson your sister in law could stand to learn it would seem. Besides why join in her in trouble making? Sounds like wasted effort on your end.
Too much drama. Let it all just go. Life is way too short and there are so many other things to fill one's mind and time with. Get on with the business of living your life.
Just ignore it.
You and your dad are fine--or he would have said you weren't, right? You did your thing privately. Your SIL chose to reply all... she looks like an idiot, probably. Being that it wasn't sent TO YOU only (but to all), then I don't see why any reply from you would be expected. Unless SIL was trying to stir up something, in which case your best bet is STILL to ignore the email.
Hopefully, your parents see her response for what it is... I think someone before me put it nicely (brown-noser?).
Just ignore it.
Sounds like she wants the last word. Ridiculous and immature. Your conversation between you and your dad was respectful, mature and appropriate and good for him for sending a follow up! I would guess that everyone can see right through the response and was gagging or rolling his or her eyes at it. Take the high road and hit delete.
My husband's aunt and her daughter (husband's cousin) are a bit like your SIL. I just learn to not respond to them at all.
she sounds like an idiot.
And an attention grabber... the email was essentially about herself trying to make herself look good and somehow send an indirect jab at you. Completely ignore her message. She is lame. And if she looks lame to us strangers on the internet, I imagine the friends and family on the email list saw right through her lameness. No need to repond.
BTW, if this actually happened to you, no need to explain it in a hypothetical manner- "imagine you recieve an email..." just say "so I got an email..." for some reason I kept having to twist my brain back around it as something that actually happened, since there are so many details in it. Maybe its just me and how my brain works.
I think the whole family needs to stop with this nonsense.
Leave it alone.
Instead of letting it go and ignoring the sillyness, you picked the fight. This is what happens.
Next time, just hit delete and your life will be much happier.
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Ugh. You're in a bit of a lose lose situation... You kind of can't reply. She's foolish too bc how does she know you actually went to look things up vs you just knew they were wrong? And some people do want to be educated when they're wrong on the facts. I would. I guess end of day, all that matters is you and your dad. He knows what went on and you replying all now just drags it out and I think will make you look worse. Typically people like her don't fare well in the end. Very annoying but most people probably don't know what she's talking about and if she is often rude, other people on the list already know that.
Umm "most of us don't feel this great need to bring it to each other's attention" ?? Isn't this exactly what your SIL is doing to YOU.Tell her to practice what she preaches already.
Ignore it. She already did a find job of making herself look like an a$$. No need to respond.
OMG. Her reply almost made me throw up in my mouth. How manipulative and fake can one person get? Are you SURE we don't have the same SIL???
First, she's an idiot for not fact checking. I don't care who you are or what it's about. Politics, medicine, school rules....
Second, your dad LIKES drama. He TOTALLY created this one.
Third, IGNORE her response. She's trying to keep the drama going.
I think all of you ought to ignore and use the "delete" button more liberally.
Dear SIL. You are absolutely right. My parents ARE awesome. I'm lucky to call them my true family - related by blood. I thought about what you said regarding enjoying the time we all have left together and again, I agree wholeheartedly. Therefore, I'm going to make the most of the time I have left on this earth and do everything I can to spend time with family/friends who love and respect me. I'm sure you won't mind that we won't be seeing or speaking with you any time in the foreseeable future. PS - thanks again for reminding me how much I love MY parents.
Mature? No, but it would make me feel better even if I didn't send it (which I probably wouldn't because it would start WWIII. Best of luck to you.
Id ignore her, then set it up so anything she sends goes straight into the trash file.
Not sure why you are talking in a different person, of "you"...
Anyways... I would just ignore it, I see nothing wrong with her letter, but b/c you have history with her you are seeing something passive aggressive there, which may or may not be true, but why push it. Since it's a reply all, others will pick up on some sarcasm as well. Also, the letter you sent to your dad was fine to send to him, but obviously it got sent to people on the list... and for that it was rude and likely embarrassing. I feel sorry for your dad, there seems to be a lot of pettiness here. Everyone just needs to learn to get along, harder said than done, I know.
I think your dad was looking for validation and he found it. Therefore, ignore your aunt and don't take the bait. Ignore and delete any further e-mails that are political from your dad or just mark them as spam. It's not worth the fight or drama.
She's a bit over the top-and did not have to do a "reply all" -that was rude-but you can take it-she is right on one thing-you can't always trust the fact checkers, for instance, michele obama listed the little girls as senior staffers to get them on a plane and take them on an African excursion-that's how they roll-but try to substantiate this on Snopes.
I think everyone is on political edge these days and that affected everyone's behavior. If this had not been about politics you would have ignored it and not been apt to try to prove your point. Your dad was very gracious in his resolving the matter. Because this was political your sil went a bit overboard on making her feelings about your parents clear. It really is time for you and your sil to chill. I may have different opinions from you about politics but neither candidate is going to proform miracles and get this family knit back together. You all have work to do.
Tell her to wipe her nose - it's turning brown!
I would ignore her. When I'm done with someone, I'm done. NO matter what they do/say or whatever, no rise out of me because I'M DONE AND I DON'T CARE!
