How to Handle Toddler's Picky Eating

He's picky because you're allowing him to be picky. Make one meal for the family, everyone eats it and eats it together. If you don't eat it, you don't get anything else until the next meal. If that means you don't get anything until the next morning, then so be it. A child will be fine not having dinner and waiting until breakfast time to eat again. If he's hungry, he'll eat.

I agree with several of the others who responded. Do not cave or you will regret it later. The more variety you get him to try now the less picky he will be later is my opinion. From my experience with my daughter, by age 2 their tastes are set for most of their childhood.

NO! Do not cave in! Kids are developing their taste buds. Sometimes HOW it's prepared is as important as what. i.e. frozen peas vs. canned peas (texture) raw apple vs. applesauce. Adults have issues w/ textures too and always will.

Get a copy of FEED ME I'M YOURS by Lansky. This will give you lots of ideas. How about a baked sweet potato w/ a little butter (NOT margarine) and some pumpkin pie spice or cinnamon?

KEEP trying new things. I teach nutrition to 3-4 year olds AND moms. You'll be amazed at what they'll WANT to try if you DONT talk about how much you dislike something and continually try new things, too. Talk about how much FUN it is to try new things.

When they refuse to even try, talk about how much they're missing out. REPEATEDLY talk about how good & yummy something is. ASK/REQUIRE a "courtesy bite" of EVERYTHING. Get in the habit of this. You made the effort to prepare, they do you the courtesy of at least trying.

When they won't try, ask them what they DO like. How do they know? Of course, they TRIED it. They'll never know unless they try.

If they DONT like something, acknowledge that they made the effort, thank them for trying and remind them that they won't like everything.

Talk to them about nutritional value.....carrots & sweet potatoes help us see better; cheese, milk, yogurt help make our bones strong, etc. They need (LIKE ADULTS) to understand the WHY to make it more appealing. If you don't know....RESEARCH. You'll be doing EVERYONE a huge favor!

Make sure you LEAD BY EXAMPLE!

Kids go through this picky stage at about this age, then they start to eat good again around 4, when they're growing fast, and taper off again around 6. That's just for growth spurt purposes. In the meantime, my mother always says, "as long as you put food in front of them, they won't starve." I know too many children whose parents fix them alternative meals and now will only eat chicken nuggets, hot dogs and Mac and cheese. My neice is one and so is my daughter's BFF. They are sorry when they come to my house, you eat what we have, or you go hungry. Just like picky eaters, good eaters are made not born. We have a rule that they must take 2 bites of everything. However, they don't get seconds until they clean their plates. No snacks without a clean plate either. Once the table is cleared, its gone, the dogs ate it, you'll have to wait until the next meal. It may sound harsh for a little one, but its much harder to break a bad habit, than to start a good one. Good luck!

Don't back down!! Put food in front of him and if he doesn't eat it, then he doesn't eat. I know it sounds really harsh, but he'll eat when he gets hungry. My 19 month old was the same way. I would fix her something different every night. I asked my pedi about it and she said under no circumstances should you fix something special. It's not a matter of taste, its' a matter of power. He doesn't want to eat what you're feeding him, so he's refusing to eat it knowing that you'll fix something special. If my dd doesn't eat her lunch, I'll save it. When it's snack time, she gets what she didn't eat at lunch. If she doesn't eat dinner, that's tomorrow's lunch. It works for us and now she'll eat almost everything we do. I decided that I didn't want to be a short order cook and fix everyone in the house something different. I fix one meal and it's either eat it, or be hungry.

My daughter (20 months) generally eats less when she is teething. She loves blueberries, but there are times when she's cutting a tooth that she won't even touch them. I do what most others suggest...cook one meal with at least one thing that each person likes. On most days I make a smoothie with whole milk (usually peanut butter/banana but will use whatever I have in the house). My daughter loves it, and if she only eats bread at dinner it's really not a big deal. Good luck!

I guess i am just repeating what everyone else is saying. Picky eaters are made, not born. I cook one dinner, I make sure there is at least one thing everyone likes. DD doesn't like fish, i still make fish, i put it on her plate if she doesn't eat it (and i never make her try, trying is up to her) she can fill up on the rice I know she likes. One thing my ped. told me was to never look meal to meal. You will drive yourself crazy making sure a child eats veggie and protein and starch at each meal, look week to week and you will see that most of those things even out.

Good or bad, we bribe our son. Take a bite of ___ and you get a bite of yogurt! He will, most likely grow out of it if you keep offering different tastes and textures. I think he's too young to understand "eat what I made or don't eat at all". He'll just be hungry and cranky and not get enough nutritionally.
Good Luck:)

Hi D.,

My son is doing the same thing. His doctor said its very common around that age - their growth rate slows down some and so does their appetite.

I make him the same meal that everyone else gets and he will eat about two bites (if we are lucky) and then he is done. I don't make separate meals for him so if he doesn't eat he just doesn't eat. But, I have discovered he will drink just about anyting so for breakfast I make a smoothy for everyone. I buy Naked Fruit blended juices and add it to the blender with a little ice, soy milk, a banana, and whatever other fruit we have on hand. It is high in protein and vitamins so at least I know he's getting something healthy at least once a day and I don't worry as much if he decides to eat one bite of chicken and one bite of bread for dinner - it helps me fight the urge to cave in and break out the chicken nuggets, which is the only sure winner in our house too!

Hello, I have a 27 month old who has been the same way for about a year. His 4 yr old brother who is a great eater. But my youngest is very picky. I have to admit that my strategy is all over the place. Somedays I will force him to try it, even when it means prying his arms/hands away from his blocked mouth. Especially when I know it is something he likes and will eat once he knows what it is. But most times I will put his plate down, give him a bite of the one thing on the plate I know or think he will like and then let him fend for himself. I agree that I try to make meals that there is at least one thing each of the boys will like. But I also have to say that sometimes he loves pasta salad the next day he may not touch it so that plan doesn't always work. I also agree with what everyone else wrote not to look at each meal but to look at a running 4-5 day average. Like others my youngest will binge eat for a few days and then eat next to nothing for the next few days. If I really feel like he's in a slump, not eating stuff he normally likes and it seems like days since he had a good meal I will dump some dry cereal and let him eat that. Then I know he's gotten a least a few nutrients. If he refuses even that then I just let him go, he must not be hungry or maybe not feeling well. I also give him Pediasure mixed in with white milk to help make up for missing calories/nutrients. And I hope that some day he will grow out of this. Good Luck.

Unless you eventually want to become a short-order cook, I would not make him his own separate meal. I know it doesn't seem like he is eating much, but they know when they're ready to stop eating, and sometimes they go through these phases where they don't eat much. Now, if he's fussing like he's still hungry, maybe he really does not like the food (although you say these are meals that he has eaten before). If you don't think he likes the food and is still hungry, I would suggest continuing to make well-balanced meals that the family likes and maybe incorporate a few things that you know he will eat. Our pediatrician recommends offering a variety of healthy foods and letting them choose what they want to eat. Trying to force it will only result in a power struggle. Good luck!

I agree with the others, do not cave in! You are correct, much of our favorite foods as adults are acquired. As your son continues to try things he will change his mind numerous times. Keep up with the couple little bites that he will take and try not to get too discouraged. If you find that he is really not liking one item in particular, take it off the menu for a while then try again in a few weeks. If you can try to present it differently. If you keep up that pattern he will gradually like the new foods. It is hard right now but infants and toddlers are use to very bland foods so when we begin trying new, more flavorable foods they often turn their noses up to them because they are not use to the change. This can be incredibly tricky especially if you are trying multiple new foods. Be patient and when in doubt, mix them up/disquise them with something else. Good luck!

Ok, say what you want about me, call me a short order cook if you must, but until my 18 month old acquires a taste for "adult" food or until my husband and I acquire a taste for Easy Mac I have decided to remain flexible in the kitchen =-) I always offer her whatever is served for dinner, but I have learned that if I put my toddler to bed hungry she will wake up early! I get a little more creative with lunch and snacks, but I have decided it's not worth the battle to try to make her to eat what she's not interested in. I'd rather conserve my energy for the things I consider more important--like bathtime, wrestling her for uncapped Sharpie markers, and getting the occasional load of laundry done. Fortunately, fruit is a big hit with her, so I always keep plenty of grapes, peaches, strawberries and blueberries in the fridge. She also loves pasta with sauce, so I serve that to her a lot, and you can buy the Barilla Plus brand that is fortified with extra nutrients. Anyway, hope that helps in some way, happy cooking!

Don't cave in to your toddler's picky eating. He isn't going to die or even become malnourished because he doesn't eat his entree from time to time. I'm sure there are other food options besides the entree at his meal. If you don't make a big deal over it, he won't see it as a control issue and if that is what it is becoming, the problem will disappear in short order. At other meals you can provide other alternatives for his protein needs. A peanut butter sandwich provides a serving of complete protein as does a bean burrito and both provide the same quality protein as meaty entrees without the cholesterol. If your concern is his protein, nearly every food he eats has some protein in it and if he eats from a variety of food groups, especially if these are whole foods that are less refined (ie: whole grains, nuts, veggies, fruits, etc)he willl be fine. The biggest thing is not to fret over it. If he sees that it is a big issue for you then he will feel that he can gain control of the situation. Yes, he is old enough to begin the power strugles that are typical for 2 y.olds. Good luck and congratulations on this first baby for you! May God bless you as you raise your little boy.

You are not a short order cook. Give him the food if he doesn't eat it, than he doesn't eat. If he only takes a few bits that is fine. Don't push. If you give in and give him what he wants you will only start a habit that you don't want to deal with. He won't starve :). Some days my son eats like he hasn't had food for days, other days I can barely get him to eat anything. But my mom taught me as a child I make one meal and one meal only, eat it or don't but that is what you get. The only time I will make something different is if we are having steak or something I know he can't eat cuz he is only 2. Otherwise he gets what I make. It is probably just a stage.

Hello D.. I guess my opinion might be different from everyone else's...so here it is :)
I am not a cook and I don't run a resturaunt by any means. However, my girls LOVE Cheese Macaroni, my 12 yo won't eat it. If that is what I make he gets left overs. I generally make a big enough meal that there is going to be something you don't like, but you have to eat what I put on your plate, but not seconds (trust me it will work, after TWO YEARS my 9 yo now LOVES green beans). My youngest is now 25 months and won't eat meat (except Chicken nuggets and Chicken Taquitos) she even picks the hamberger out of her spaghetti. I hope it is only a stage, that meat is too much work to eat. So, I make sure I have something in my meal (like noodles and potatoes) that she likes. For lunch I make her Peanut Butter or Chicken that she likes. That way I know she is getting protein at least once a day and the older kids are at school.
I agree that us picky eaters are made, but I also think we are born too. I can't eat spices b.c of a medical condition, my 5 yo was born with the same one. It is a very thin line at this age of toddlerhood between making sure he is healthy and making sure he isn't spoiled. Best of Luck!

Hi D.,

first of all congrats on your son!!! Like you I'm an older mommy, I had my first child at 41..........I am now 45 and he is the best thing that ever happened to me. Ok I have to admit at first I catered to his wants to make sure he would eat something but now I serve him what we eat and it works, my aunt always told me if you have a frig full of food they won't starve so I keep this in mind and I don't feel guilty. Once in a while I still give in (very rarely) and give him cereal instead of the meal.... especially if it something too spicy etc., but that being said I usually say this is it bud eat it or nothing so 99% of the time he at least tries it. He now eats a variety of foods including sushi!!! and he loves it so hang in there!!!! If you have any time at all email me I would love to talk to another older mommy if that is ok!!!!!.............take care

Cathy

Lynn, do you see Heather Wolfe? That's exactly what she said to me about my son! "It's your responsibility to cook the food, and it's their responsibility to eat it". I love her! Another thing she said was to just make sure there is atleast one thing served that the child does like, even if it's just applesauce, a roll, or whatever. My son is totally picky. I mean, almost every meal he says "I don't like that", but I don't give in to him. I serve him the same food we have, and if he doesn't eat, he knows he gets no snacks that night and will have to wait to eat until breakfast. I keep hopeful that someday in the next year or so he will begin to try the things and realize he really does like it. Every once in a while he will try something and take a few bites of it, but not often. I never give in, and he knows that.

Make sure he is getting vegetables and fruit and milk. If there are meats he doesn't like right now, I wouldn't push it. He will eventually come to like them.

I am a firm believer in:
This is what we are having for dinner. You can eat it or not. If not you get nothing else. I might let you have more of the vegetable or fruit we are having with the meal but nothing else. When lunch/dinner time is over it is over and the food was carefully wrapped and refrigerated for later use. If you get hungry later, here it is, whatever you wouldn't eat at meal time.
My children thought it was wierd that they would find the lemon chicken, squash, etc., on the table for breakfast, but there it was. It would appear for snack time too.
If you give in without a real reason, like an allergy to the food, then the child is control instead of you. Not something you want to hand to them at this stage in their life.
Good luck!

I've found that toddlers often have one good meal, one so-so meal and one meal where they're just not hungry. Often toddlers will feel overwhelmed with a bunch of food on their plates and will refuse to eat, even when they are hungry. I'd try to include foods you know he likes at every meal, and not give him more than a tablespoon or so of each food, with more ready if he wants it. Food can become a battle of wills. Your job is to give the new food, and his job will be to try it, at some point.

I was 38 when I had my first daughter and 43 when I had my second daughter.
My first daughter would eat anything I gave her, including vegetables, fruit, meat, whatever. I breast fed her until she was 5 months old, so I credit that a lot to her being such a good eater.
My second daughter is a whole other story. She didn't want anything doing with breast feeding, so she was on formula until she was 1 yr. old.
She is pickier. She is now 2 yrs. old and does pretty well. In baby food she ate most things. But, when it came time to put her on regular food, she at first ate some peaches, mandarin oranges, then by the time she was 12-15 months she wouldnt' touch them, she would spit them right back out. She also hated grapes, which I figured was due to the skin on them, as some kids don't like the skin.
I had not tried grapes in months with her. Then when she was about 18-20 months old my husband gave her some grapes and she ate them just fine!!!!! The only thing I can think of is that she now had more teeth. Now she loves grapes. She will take a few bites of peaches and mandarin oranges but not much. So even if I can get her to take 4 bites, I do it.
She has always liked bananas and applesauce.
Just keep trying things even if she only eats 2-4 bites of something before she refuses it.
Once she has more teeth, that might make a difference too.

We have one picky eater who when younger would refuse lots of things, the dr. told me, "It is your responsibility to give her food, it is her responsibility to eat it." I have kept this in mind since. She now is a better eater but still drives me crazy some days. Also she said to NEVER prepare something different than everyone else, it just encourages the behavior. Trust me, they will never allow themselves to starve.

Hello D.,

I agree with the majority of other Moms; you must offer a variety of nutritious foods, insist on courtesy bites of all foods, offer only fruits or vegetables for snacks when they pass on meals. We have had this policy for our three children, who are now all school age and they eat everything - even ethnic foods of all types. I shutter at the thought of giving into the diet of all white, bland food for growing children, but I see it all the time in other families. I have nieces and nephews who only eat starches, (mainly mac & cheese & french fries) and they look dumbstruck to find something to eat when this junk is not offered at family dinners.

You may have to introduce foods in different ways, like spinach raw may be eaten, but cooked might be a texture they don't like. Mixing in new vegetables with ones he already likes. Stews are great for doing this. I also don't believe in this idea of having to hide vegetables in foods to get them to eat it. There are a couple of popular cookbooks designed around this idea of a tablespoon of mushed up veggies and fruit added secretly into the recipes to fool children into eating it - ( Jerry Seinfeld's wife wrote this type of book.) This prolongs the immature palate for only bland or sweet food. In the end they are only getting a miniscule amount of the good stuff! Its up to you to, caring Mom, to mature and expand your little guy's palate for healthy foods so he grows into a person who enjoys all foods. Good luck to you, you are a wise, mature Mother, and you will do just fine with persistence and creativity!