For those of you who have two children, how do you feel when only one child is invited to a birthday party even though the guest of honor knows both children? My daughter is turning 2 and I would like to keep the guests who come to the party close to her age. She has several friends of her own age who have older siblings (by older I mean 3-4 years older)whom we all know and like, but who clearly will be older than all of the other children there. Is it ok to send an invitation to the home with only one child's name on it (inviting only one child that is?)
Yes, explain to the parents that with the economy cutbacks, and all you are trying to cut back also. The older ones can go home or do something else with the parents.
I think it is perfectly acceptable to invite only the children who are closer to your daughter's age. Otherwise it could be awkward keeping all of the children entertained, safe and happy. It could "deteriorate" into a lot of No's. Planning a party for 2 year olds can in and of itself be difficult without adding to it.
If you feel this would be too awkward, or make things difficult between you and the children's parents, then consider asking one of the parents of those older friends to stay to help monitor the situation. I'd think most would want to stay anyway, given the relatively young age of all of the children.
FYI, my daughters are 21 month apart, so we face these situations until they were a little older than your daughter.
I just wanted to provide you with options.
Whatever you decide, have a wonderful day celebrating your little one.
Best wishes,
A.
On the other hand, if it's a party where the parents are expected to stay (as is usually the case for that age), it kinda makes it difficult if they have an older child.
My toddler received an invitation to the birthday of a two-year-old classmate, and the parents didn't know that he had an older brother. I knew that if I called and asked if it were OK to bring the older sibling that the mom would probably say "yes" even if it WERE a big hassle, so I hesitated - I nearly replied that I wouldn't be able to make it. (I agonized over it for a little while, hoping it wasn't terribly rude to ask, and ended up asking when I RSVP'ed. She said it was fine, but he got sick so it was a moot point.)
Obviously you can invite who you wish, but if it's not a "drop off party" - if the parent is expected to stay to watch their toddler, it can put them in a bind. They may not know whether is more rude to turn down the invitation or to ask to bring the older child. (Yeah, MAYBE dad can watch the older child with no problem. But a lot of folks have work or other obligations even on their weekends, and often they take turns watching both kids. If each parent has to watch one kid for half a Saturday, it can throw a monkey wrench in the whole weekend.) So... just try to be flexible and understanding if someone asks. They aren't trying to be rude or spoil the fun for the younger ones - probably just trying to keep the peace. And a big kid with a two-year-old sibling should know how to act around little kids.
Perhaps you can put the younger's name on the invitation and put a note with "<Older siblings name> is welcome, too, if he doesn't mind playing with the little kids."
Although you *did* mention that there were several kids with older siblings - if the older ones came, they would probably play with each other and mostly leave the younger ones alone. At five, they are much better at entertaining themselves than two year olds, so it shouldn't be too much hassle for you.
Hi, E.!
We were in this position on both ends for years. I have learned from our experiences that if we were doing the inviting, we asked all the siblings that my kid(s) knew; not just one close in age. My children have had feelings hurt because of not being invited to a party where both of my kids knew the birthday child. In certain instances, I have called and asked if my other one could attend, if I didn't have anywhere for him/her to go during the party. However, I have also declined to go depending on the situation. Other parents have also called me and asked if their other sibling could attend. Birthday parties get very expensive (as I was a single mom), so inevitably we just started having family parties at home. Once my kids got older, they could invite one or two friends each to their parties. As my kids' birthdays are only a (year and a) week apart, we had one party for the both of them until they got old enough to warrant their own party! LOL
I'm sure whatever you decide will work out just fine. Birthdays are for celebrating life that is so precious!
While I don't necessarily have a problem with people inviting only one child, I tend to invite families, not just one child. But we usually do parties that can be very inclusive, such as a beach party out at the lake or at a playground or such. If we were doing an activity would understand perfectly if only one child was invited. On the same note, I might not get to take the child to that party because I do have four kids and if I couldn't find someone to watch the others during that time I wouldn't be paying a sitter so I could do it. I can agree with 2 year old around they may be enough to handle! We really haven't done big parties with our kids until they were old enough to really experience, enjoy and remember it, usually around 4. We just have family parties for the younger kids. You may want to mention to the moms that have other kids that you are trying to just have the age range you want and why. They will probably understand if you tell them about it.
I have three children and we are hurt when only one child is invited to a party. If it's older kids and they're only inviting one or two kids for some special (expensive) activity, then it's ok. Otherwise, it's a party. A celebration. The more the merrier. Inclusion not exclusion.
just my opinion.
As a mom of four children, this is common in our home. Whenever we receive an invitation, it always has the name of the child invited. This is never a problem (well except for our five year old, but we explain to her that she gets invitations to parties that the other doesn't.) I think it is fair to invite only one sibling.
YES!
My children get invited separately to parties all the time! No problem. It's the way it is. It happens all the time. You'll see the same happens to you after your 2nd starts getting invitations!
Good luck!
My rule of thumb was always to include the other siblings if they were within 18 months or less in age. Otherwise, I would only address the invitation to the child who was my child's age. I do not think it was ever a problem. My daughters were 18 months apart and it never bothered me if one was excluded from a birthday invitation. They do have different friends. Certainly no one would expect a child aged 4 to be invited to a birthday party for a child aged 2. If they did expect it, it's really not your problem, it's their's. You would be socially correct to exclude older children from the invitation. As for the mothers being present, they should remain at the party for any child who attends until the children are much older. This might mean they will bring the older child despite not being invited, but that would be better than your being left to take care of several two year old babies!
E. I think there is no need to invite older siblings of the invitee to your daughter's birthday party and I would certainly understand if it were my children that you would want to just invite the child that was close in age to your child.
I agree with Sherry and the others that it is acceptable to invite just the child close in age. You will have some though that bring siblings anyway. Some have no other option if they want to attend than to bring the other child. Most should ask when they rsvp, but many will not even rsvp these days. Good time to "roll with it" and be flexible. They will understand if you say you only have goodie bags for the younger ones, or consider not doing goody bags since the kids are so young probably won't even notice. Enjoy that while you can.
Yes it is okay but make sure they understand is nothing wrong with the other child Is that you want to keep the children to your daughter's age
I think there shouldn't be anything wrong with inviting only one sibling. In fact, we just got an invite and it specifically said "xxxxx would like to invite xxxxx to her birthday party. Left no question about it. I mean really, at some point the kids do have to learn that sometimes their sibling gets invited to things they aren't. It's gonna happen, and if they see it when they are young, it's not as big of a deal when they get older. Have fun and NO, don't worry about inviting all siblings!
I am sure they would not invite your son to the parties of the older ones and you shouldn't feel like you have to invite them. If only 1 name was on an invitation, I would not take my other child unless I had a conflict with who would keep the other child/ If it were something like bowling or where you had tp pay per person, if I HAD to take both, I would pay myself for the additional child and get the ok from the mom. But rerally, don't invite the older children.Its not fair to the younger ones who need to be with kids there own age!
