I'm really struggling with the mentality that sees 19 months old as babies. My daughter hasn't drank from a sippy cup since she was 12 months old, hasn't had baby food since 9 months, and hasn't been nursed since she self-weaned at 11.5 months. She goes on the potty more than in a diaper, and her vocabulary is at least 150 words. She is no where near being a baby, and I am trying to encourage her independence as a way to help her feel like she has more control (I believe this truly helps lessen tantrums). She is thriving, but everywhere we turn, people keep saying "baby."
I keep trying to ignore it, but it really bothers me when people treat toddlers like babies.
Does this bother anyone else, or am I just crazy in wanting my toddler to be a "big girl" and not a "baby?"
19 months is a baby!! She is little for such a short amount of time. Before you know it she wil be off to school everyday, and she really will be a BIG girl. Enjoy her while she is a baby, and try not to rush her into growing up so fast. I know you want her to be independant, but she is not even 2 years old yet. Let her enjoy being the baby and fussed over!
I have a 17 year old and 19 year old and they will always be my babies. My mother called me her baby until she past away 3 years ago. I wouldn't of had it any other way. It is not going to stop her from growing up and being independent. Enjoy the baby/toddler/big kid/teenage/young adult/adult years. They all grow so quickly.
Well, your kid IS the baby of the group...calm down! I thought our kids would ALWAYS be our babies. Even when they grow up! =)
Seriously, let it go! Why are you wasting your energy on such a question? Who cares whether someone calls your toddler a "baby" or not? It's just an expression. Obviously she's a toddler and can do all of the normal "toddler" things. But really, who has time to dwell on such an issue? All of my husband's family members call the the little kids "babies"... They didn't stop calling my son the "baby" until our new baby arrived when he was 3 years old! Get over it. If you worry about every little thing people say, you'll really drive yourself crazy.
Ah, since you're expecting, I blame your concern of this on pregnancy hormomes. Really, chill out.
You treat your child as a toddler and you encourage her growing independence. That is all that matters. Who cares if your friend considers her a baby? To your friend, your toddler is the youngest of the group and therefore the baby. Don't you worry. Once your next baby comes along, everyone will stop calling your oldest the "baby."
Is this woman my mother-in-law?!? *laugh*
My mother in law will still 'cradle' my 31 month old son in her arms as if he is a baby and expect him to snuggle quietly in the crook of her arm. He HATES it and squirms, wiggles, and fusses to get down. He doesn't want to be around her when she acts like that, so in order for her to get attention/affection from him, she has to stop treating him that way.
Yes, it drives me insane and I agree with you 100% BUT...I have decided that it isn't a battle worth getting worked up over. Some people just happen to see any child under the age of 5 (*cough* ridiculous, in my opinion) as a 'baby'.
You're doing the right thing by continuing to encourage your daughter's independence. Pretty soon, she'll be the one correcting your friends/family - and when it comes from the mouth of the child, the message is heard MUCH more loudly!
She is a baby! She is 19 months old. Relax and enjoy her....Who cares what people call her!
I can understand your frustration--I had an early walker and talker-- we all want our babies to become independent "big kids". That being said, how often do you hear people say "what a cute toddler"? Kids in this society do go from being a baby to a "big kid"..and usually folks see it around age 3. Technically she isn't a baby but she's not totally a big kid yet. When people say she's a cute baby--respond with "yes, our big girl is a cutie" or "yes, our baby is growing into a beautiful big girl". It won't change people's perception but will reinforce to your daughter that you think she's a big girl. You can't change what people say but you can impact how your daughter understands what is said. Also, a little forwarning--when #2 comes quite often #1 can feel put off that she's not the baby anymore. Often they need reassurance that even tho they are a big girl she will always be Mommy's baby.
She REALLY is still very little... and... that's okay. No one is questioning her development. Your next child may not be as developed in those areas.
Encourage her independence. Enjoy her as a little person. Trust me, you'll cry a lot harder when she is starts kindergarten or goes off to high school. When they are 10 years old, you'll wonder why they act like a teen-ager!
Sounds like a "specific person" is trying to thwart your authority or thinks you are being too rigid. Don't overthink child-rearing. Trust me, when you think you have it down-pat, your children WILL humble you.
Hi there-
I think part of the issue is that most 18 month olds are not doing the things that your daughter is doing and so I think that there is a gap between people's mentality. I think, certainly, that once kids are going on the potty that society deems them toddlers more often. At 18 months, they are still (usually) doing baby things. Even my son, who has recently skipped a grade, wasn't potty trained that early. You have done a great job with her and I understand that you have a 2nd one coming and so getting this one independent is important but I think that, in general, the "baby" time goes so quick...try not to rush it. I would love for my daughter to be a baby again. :)
Good luck. Hope this helps.
N.
J.,
If I were in your shoes I also would be concerned with friends referring to my almost-19-month-old as a 'baby'.
You don't want to have two babies at the same time - the idea is overwhelming.
But the truth is, no matter how advanced and independent your older child (kudos to you)! She will digress a bit most likely when the new baby comes along, temporarily. I'm sure you are prepared for that and know how important psychologically it will be for her to still be your baby too.
hugs,
W
I understand. I used to feel the same way with my son. He always seemed more grown up to me. As a toddler he had a large vocabulary, used his words effectively, and shared his toys. But now, I look at him and wonder, "Why was I in such a hurry for him to be a 'big boy'?" He's only 3. He is a baby. Doesn't mean he's the same kind of baby like my daughter (she's 5 months). But in comparison to the length of life I hope he lives, he is still so little and I want him to stay that way. There's a sort of innocence associated with being a baby. I feel that we shouldn't rush our kids into growing up too quickly. Before we know it they'll be off to college. Enjoy the innocence while it lasts.
It's probably best to assume that people aren't trying to offend you and move on. Personally, I think of children under 2 as babies, too, but if it's a big deal to you, just say something and I'm sure your friends will try to remember. I don't mean to make light of it, but honestly you have real battles ahead to save your energy for in the school years :-)
To you, your child might be a 'big girl' and she sounds very mature, but just because you are promoting big girl behavior, to the rest of the world, who sees her and does not interact with her, she looks like a 19 mo old mature acting baby. Toddlers are babies, 6 yr olds are babies and when you have #2, your big girl might revert back to being a baby. Promoting independance is great, both my older kids were like what you described of you daughter and as they grow older, indenpendence only makes life easier for everyone (although it can have its drawbacks, like wanting to do something that is not appropriate for their age or dangerous because they think they are like adults - which we struggle with sometimes). Good luck with your new baby, stay healthy and happy.
I have 7yr old twins, and I still catch myself calling them 'the babies'. I used to say to my oldest, can you go check on 'the babies', and I still do that once in awhile.
For most people it is just a habit.
She is a baby! I think in todays society, parents put too much pressure on their children to grow up and be "big kids" Let your lttle girl be a baby, they are only like that for a few years, before you know it she will be in school and a teenager!
Like the others have said, it is not worth the battle. However, when the child does not like the cuddling etc, then it is definitely time for the parent to step in. I had to step in a couple of times when my in laws talked baby-talk to the kids and they started to copy even though the kids could talk full words very clearly or the adults would give in and let the kids have whatever they wanted "because they are babies". Along the same line, it is one thing for someone to say "where's the baby" or something like that and another to say "hi, baby", "here baby" and always refer to the child as a baby. I told them he/she has a name, please use it. You can step in nicely of course.
She IS a baby. OMG.
I think you are being a little too sensitive about this. They grow up SO SO fast (too fast) and it's great that she is doing all of these things... but wow, it's kind of fast.
She is a baby. Thank goodness. Let her be one for as long as you can. It goes by way way too fast.
This is just silly. You are clearly over thinking life.
