hi there, i have a 2 month old boy and a 16 month old girl at home and need help finding structure or a schedule to my day with them. my daughter has had a nanny while i was pregnant, so she was out and had activities to look forward to each day. now that the nanny is gone and i am trying to manage a toddler and infant at once without neglecting either child's needs. but the last couple of weeks i have noticed that my daughter is bored and then acts up because of it, which i can't blame her for. her dad has set up the routine for morning and evening because he is home then. we get up around 7 and she had breakfast until 8, then we change her and she is ready for the day by 9am. in the evening the family has dinner around 6, bath at 7 and in bed by 8. its the in between i need you help with as i am not a "structure" type person. are there books you could recommend? or a class? and while i'm at it, is there a checklist telling me when to teach them to tie their shoes, potty train, etc. the only reason she has begun potty training is because the nanny taught her. i probably wouldn't have even thought of doing that. if i sound overwhelmed it's because i am.
Hi EH,
I only have one but I can imagine it is tough. I thought it is worth mentioning the Bananas outfit located in Oakland:
They have many classes and support resources. I hope you find something that works.
There are so many activities you can do with your daughter while the little one sits in a bouncy chair and watches (you can interact with him while doing things with her). Sit on the floor with her and roll a ball back and forth. Put bandages all over her stuffer animals (I'd buy the large box at Costco--my kids loved this--then we'd rip them all off). If she isn't still shoving things in her mouth, you can give her playdough and things to cut or stamp it with. You can buy the plastic kind (I think they'd be near the playdough in the toy isle) or use stuff from home. I gave my boys cookie cutters, plastic knives and forks, the little cups you use for medicine (to make circles). I'd fill a spray bottle with water (try a drp of food coloring) and let her "wash" the house, lawn furniture and the plants outside (you need warmer weather). Try a bucket of water and a paint brush and let her paint the outside of the house. We'd go for walks (both or just baby in stroller) and I'd ask questions about or point out house colors, trees, plants, birds. Trips to the park with sand toys and fill plastic cups and buckets with sand (small shovels or scoops work great). We'd create a row of sand mounds and them stomp them down. Usually they'd find someother little one to play with. We'd go feed the ducks at the park. Color with her with crayons. I'd tape white copy paper to the kitchen table and they'd go crazy just drawing all over the place. My older one would fuss when it was time for me to nurse so I bought books that I'd read to him or I'd give him a special box with little things he got to play with only when I was occupied with the baby. Make a tent with a blanket. Have her help you with the baby when he's just lying there. Mine like to talk to the baby and show him things. Ask her to "teach" her little brother. I realize she may be too young for this at this point, but as she gets older it might work. With regard to structure, both my boys napped twice a day and so I had that time to clean up and take care of myself. Remember, they day to day activities are going to differ. A day at the park may change because of rain. Someone may get sick. Don't stress it. Everything you do with her is a learning experience. As for books about child rearing, I believe there are books put out by the folks that did the "What to Expect When You're Expecting" book, that follow up on the first year and then into toddler years. Check those out. I found them helpful for the early years. Enjoy your children.
Sounds like you're feeling a little isolated. When my kids were this age I found it very important to be out and about with other moms. I wasn't a club type person so I didn't join any moms groups but I do know women who loved that. I signed my older one up for classes at the community center and brought my younger one along (who usually napped in the carrier.) There were always other women like me with kids similar ages and so it was a great way to socialize and connect...both for me and my kids. We spent a lot of time hitting different parks, the zoo, Fairyland, Lawrence Hall of Science, etc. At home, creative/building play kept them the most entertained: blocks, balls, play dough, trains, dress up.
As far as books go, I liked Dr. Sears Baby Book, full of information on child development and milestones. See what they have at the library (which is another great resource for kids/moms groups and activities!)
When I stayed at home with my 2 year old I found it helpful to have a specific time in the morning for a book, then we would run our errands around 10 and be back in time to have lunch and then nap and then a walk and get the child involved in "helping" you around the house with your chores. You could also look for "mommy & me" classes or "gymboree", my cousin joined a local network of "mommies" who met regulary at the park for a play hour or two. You could also look into a "babysitting" exchange. That way your child has a playmate. You take turns watching each others kids and it helps to give you time for yourself. Good Luck!!!
I want you to also know, as the parent of two, that the younger child will adapt to the older child's schedule, to a large degree. My children are 3 years apart, so my oldest had Gymboree, music, and other classes we attended on a regular basis. His little sister, just came along and stayed in her carrier, or I would hold her or put her in the Bjorn. We did not curtail his activities due to her limitations! We usually tried to be home in time for lunch and nap, and I would get my rest then, but also made sure to have some quiet home activities planned (playdough, coloring, trains...)so my daughter could nap longer than my son if necessary. Good luck - they will both adapt.
I's suggest starting w/the givens: their naps & then work a schedule from there. I usually did errands &/or home things in the morning, came home for lunch & naps & then hit the park in the afternoon. Or you could do the opposite. I see you live in Berkeley so you have a wealth of parks & classes. The 2 best things I did when my kids were each small ( 2 boys now 8 & 3.5) were Gymboree play classes & joining the Berkeley Y. I'd put my boys in Childwatch & work out for about an hour. They both loved Childwatch! My younger son, who is VERY active, has been going to gymnastics at Kids in Motion on Peidmont for about a year now & has a great time. They are just about to move to a new location & will be offering infant classes to their schedule. Also check the libraries for their baby/toddler story times. As far as checklists for things, do you mena when they 'should do these things or a step-by-step list that helps you teach them? If the first, I say, all kids do things at differrent ages so it will come when they're ready. My oldest essentially taught himself to tie his shoes midway thru K & is now in 2nd while some kids in his class still don't know how to tie their shoes. So it's all about when each child is ready. As far as your daughter: is she totally potty trained as in she wears undies all day & stays dry w/the occassional acciddent? Or is she still in the 'traiing' stage? Cuz 16 months is pretty young for that. When I potty trained our second, I tried to put him in charge & would tell him to tell me when he needed to go & I said this MANY times thru the day 'make sure to tell Mommy when you have to make a peepee.' I did the opposite w/our 1st: I took him to the potty every hour so he was 'hourly' trained & therefor didn't have the sensation of needing to pee. So, I suggest you put your daughter in charge & encourage her to tell you when she needs to go. But do the obvious: potty trips before leaving the house/store/restaurant. Well, I hope this helps somewhat. Best of luck & Happy New Year!
