I'm almost 23 weeks pregnant and have been having back pain for the last couple of weeks. My doctor recommended a pregnancy support brace called a Prenatal Cradle which I LOVE and it's taken away most of my issues. However I know that most of my back pain is caused by picking up my 23 month old daughter all the time. I've been slowly decreasing the amount of time I pick her up however she's right in the middle of the "clingy phase" and wants to be held constantly especially when we are are around strangers. I know may other people have had this issue and I'm wondering how you have delt with it.....
I don't know how girls would respond to this, but with boys the idea of being able to help Mom is big. If you asked her to help you pick her up when you are sitting down together it won't send the message that she is too big to cuddle. This will be a big deal when there is one littler than she is that gets cuddled all the time. You may not want to send her the message that she is too big to hold.
I went through this with my two boys as I am now a mom of 3, and read that you should never blame it on the baby. Don't say, "I can't hold you because of the baby" type of thing. Always just tell her it's because it hurts your back or something similar to that. I always carried my babies (in utero) very low and it was very hard on my back. Running after 2 toddlers made it worse along with age, and other things. I went to a chiropractor and learned some exercises that helped my back pain. I used the pregnancy belt too which helped immensely. Allow for holding/cuddle time when you are sitting on the couch together.
J. - Congrats on your upcoming addition. I was very sick during my pregnancy, and could not hold or play with my older daughter for much of my pregnancy. When she came up and wanted me to hold her, I would squat down, tell her I loved her very much, but mommy didn't feel good and couldn't pick her up. I didn't give her any leeway - just no in a kind and gentle way. At home it was easy - if she wanted to cuddle I would sit down and cuddle. Away from the house it was harder when strangers were involved, but typically if I changed her focus, she would be fine. For example, at church someone would come up and she'd want to be held. If I started talking about her, she would get attention that way and didn't need the holding. I agree 100% with the other mom who said don't stay it is because of the baby - my daughter was old enough to figure it out, but I think it helped that I didn't "blame" the baby.
Good luck...and enjoy yourself!!
Just tell her that you have an owiee and the doctor says I can't pick anything big up, and since she's a big girl now, she's too big for you to pick up or my owiee will hurt. You can do lots of cuddles sitting down and laying down, but picking her up is not an option right now...doctor said. Repeat it a few times and when she wants to be picked up...she'll get it. And, get down on her level for cuddles if possible, etc.
