Hi moms,
Can any moms who did extended breastfeeding give me tips on how to wean my 15 month old daughter? She is very attached to nursing, but I have been ready to stop nursing now for about 3 months. She will ask to nurse in the morning, before her nap, and before bed, but she does not nurse to sleep. She usually pats my chest and says "mama" when she's ready to nurse. Yesterday I said "no mama, all done - time to sing songs" before her nap and she threw a fit, so I nursed her, but I felt bad for confusing her. (I usually say it's time to sing songs when she's nursing a long time before bed because she would nurse all night if I let her - so that's her cue it's time to stop)
She does have separation anxiety right now, so I don't know if it's the best time to stop, but I would like to get pregnant at the end of the summer and would like a few months off of nursing before becoming pregnant.
At one point we were down to nursing only at night and went for 48 hours without nursing at about 13 months, but now she has renewed interest in nursing lately.
I know I am not good about being firm and it breaks my heart to refuse her nursing since she's so attached to it.
Any suggestions or support would help!
A.
You didn't confuse her by saing "no". You confused her and taught her that if she cries, "you'll give in". You can't tell them NO and then give to them anyway. That's opening a whole can of worms you DON'T WANT TO GET INTO.
Hi A.,
I breastfed my now 20 month old until she was 14 months old. I think that weaning was harder on me than it was on her. I weaned over the course of a months time and gradually replaced one nursing session daily with a bottle of expressed breastmilk, (then whole milk) per week. Eventually, she lost interest as she was learning to walk. I made sure that I gave her the bottle (you can use a sippy cup)in the same rocker-glider that I nursed her in and gave it at the same time as I would have nursed her. We read stories and that helped immensely as my baby loves books and is easily distracted by giving her a book. It was so hard for me to give it up. I consoled myself with the fact that I was giving myself ample time to recover from breastfeeding baby number 2 before we started to try again for another baby (and look forward to breastfeeding again). I guess it also helped to wean gradually with my second daughter so that it was more comfortable for me. With my first daughter I had to stop cold turkey and it was pretty hard. Best of luck to you and your baby!
I breastfed both of my children for a year, but they both pretty much weaned themselves. At 12 months they were drinking well from sippy cups and it wasn't an issue. After I gave them their last cup for the day, brushed their teeth, and gave them a sippy cup of water they were fine. (They still wanted a cup in bed with them, make sure it's water so you don't damage their teeth!) It is different for everyone. I give credit to those who said they nursed longer, but I was so glad the weaning process was easy for me. As much as I loved the bonding and felt good about the health benefits, I was so glad to have my body back! Good luck.
My first suggestion is why stop! If youre able to get pregnant go as long as possible! I just love reading stories like the longer you breast feed your kids the less chance you have of getting breast cancer, the healthy your child will be, its also a GREAT calorie burner. I breast fed both of my kids for 2 years just for that reason alone.
But, if you really want to stop, try putting band aids over your nipples and just say no more, all done. Thats what I finally did when my 2 year old was pulling up my shirt to nurse. At that point I knew I had to stop and it worked like a charm.
A.,
I nursed my first dtr till she was 18 months. I started with stopping the morning feeding first, then nap, then bedtime. I think you are on the right track though with holding her and singing. (We read lots of books and rocked in the rocking chair). You can check out Le Leche League as well for suggestions.
I have 3 daughers. I nursed my first until she was about 20 months. I stopped when I got pregnant with baby #2. She was talking by then, and used to ask for "tea". I would pretend that she was asking ME to nurse on her! I would get so excited that she asked me to nurse on her, and she thought this was the funniest thing. It would then turn into tickle time. So whenever she wanted to be tickled, she asked for "tea". This is also when I introduced juice. She enjoyed it enough to be o.k. with not nursing. I told baby #2 that she drank it all up at 2.5 years old. She asked to go buy more, and I said that they don't sell it at the store. This wasn't the best stategy, but you live and learn. She asked me to nurse until she was four..she's 6 now. I have a 5 month old and have no idea when or how I will stop nursing. When YOU want to, you will, with no looking back. Do it until you can firmly and consistenly say no. Until then YOU are not ready. Ignore your relatives.
Some great suggestions about gentle and loving weaning. Please just don't let some who want to convince you not to stop that you're doing something wrong. Take in advice, as you are, but make the decision that is best for you and your family. It's obvious from your question that you are a loving and thoughful mom adn you know best! Good luck.
I was ready to wean my son at the 1 year mark, but he was always very attached to me, and I mean literally! Thankfully, I was able to start offering whole milk in a bottle to him and cradle him in my arms to simulate the nursing process. He was also more receptive to the pacifier and taking liquids in sippy cup at 10 months, so that helped to offer that as an alternative to napping and staying asleep at night. I know some moms frown upon the inanimate objects like pacifiers, but I replaced the nursing experience with lots of cuddling. Be very patient and make it a gradual process, and she should be more receptive to the change. I started tne weaning process at 12 months and he was weaned entirely by 14-15 months! Good luck with that, and be thankful for that precious time you had to bond with your daughter through breastfeeding!
I was ready to wean before my son and it took several months. I started going to La Leche League when I wanted to wean (backwards, I know). They have a good pamphlet on weaning and replacing nursing with other emotionally nurturing activities.
I started by counting to 30 and then ending the session. Then after a few weeks, I counted to 20 and so on. We got down to 5 and stayed there for awhile.
I started at 2 and that was a good time for us.
I tend to lean toward child-led-weaning...my daughter weaned herself at 27 months. And I am planning on doing the same with my son. But if you are really "done" then I think I would contact a La Leche League leader to get some "gentle" tips. I know with weaning from night nursing, some advise to cut out one feeding at a time. You may want to try that. Start with whichever feeding she is less attached too. Once my daughter weaned there was lots of rocking, cuddling and hand holding. So just make sure that you have the time to cuddle for a while when cutting out a feeding. Good luck!
why do you want to stop? I would suggest finding a local la leche group for help. If you really need to stop you need help to do it gently as if its done in the wrong way you are going to disrupt her. To her this is nice bonding time with mommy so if you are going to take that away you want to do it in a gentle way. good luck!
I nursed one daughter to 14 months and one into 2 years. When I was ready, LaLeche gave me some wonderful tips to do it in a caring way. Ask some friends if they have a lactation consultant that they like. She also would be great for advice. Attempting to wean without a loving strategy can be hard on you both, emotionally and physically. Good luck! Just trust your mommy gut.
