Hubby Support :) While He Studies for Board Exams (Med School)

My sister is a lawyer and did this while studying for the BAR exam - I don't have this kind of money, but if you do I would say it's well worth it (she spent about 8 weeks between end of school and her bar exam:

1. They hired a house keeper that came in 2x per week. This included washing and changing bedsheets and doing any laundry that was not done.
2. They hired a "chef" service. You can do this now over the internet, for example Hello Fresh etc but she would go 3x per week and pick up a pre-made dinner that all she had to do was cook it (and no pots/pans - everything was disposable). They used paper plates etc so virtually no clean up.
3. They hired a dog groomer (no kids at that time, but 2 big dogs) that came to their house each week to bathe/brush the dogs and take them out for a long walk etc.

GOOD LUCK

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ETA - Julie S - just trying to offer advice. I didn't say the BAR exam was worse than Medical school boards. But studying for the BAR exam is an 8-10 week course of study where you have to be 100% totally dedicated to studying and the test is extremely stressful. Therefore the suggestions I provided may help out people studying for other *major* exams, of whatever type.
Additionally, what's *easy* for one person is *far worse* for someone else, and not necessarily specific to the specific exam.

P.-

This is very kind of you. Hubs and I are both attorneys. I sat the bar before we met. He sat the bar after we were married and DS was born.

In addition to allowing time for study, allow time for down time. If your hubs needs to watch scooby doo on netflix between reviewing pathology and gross anatomy instead of spending time with you or your kid, be sympathetic. engaging with you and or kiddo takes effort that they might not be able to muster in that moment.

Best,
F. B.

Well I suppose one way to help him stay relaxed and focused is to make sure he's getting plenty of sex ;-)

When my husband took his boards I just told him that I'd pick up the slack while he studied / ate / slept / napped / reviewed on a schedule that suited him best.

He really benefited from group study sessions as well, and those were typically at night. I wonder if your husband can find a group to study with?

I used to be a single parent, so doing everything on my own was second nature.

Oh, I did buy him copious amounts of his favorite candy: green apple Jolly Rogers.

GL to both of you!

Julie S, why does everything have to be an argument? You seem to do your best to find a way to criticize everything or everyone. If you didn't take both the boards and the bar exam, not appropriate to comment which is harder. And even if you had, still not the issue. I didn't take either but I did take several high level, multi day, one was also multi year, professional exams. Can I comment or no bc they weren't the medical boards? Anyway, I found, for what it's worth, having good food ready and easy for me took away a burden. No other responsibilities. Time to get a bit of exercise. Otherwise, everyone has personal ways of studying. I'd just let him act like he is single with a mother there to do all his chores and give him food and he's not a father for a while in terms of any responsibilities. Good luck!

I don't actually think the bar is comparable to the boards. My sister in law is an LPN and my brother will tell you her exams were far worse than his bar.

I have never talked to our docs about the boards, they keep me offsite away from the humans. Still from what I can tell everyone saw them differently, coped differently.

Have you just considered asking your husband what he thinks he needs? Seems better than asking us because even if we had doctors in the family, doesn't mean they will have the same needs as your husband.

Oh, okay, so my brother's observation is an argument? He took the bar, so I think he has an idea of what it was like. He also saw and helped his wife on her practice tests and everything she went through. So yeah, I think he can assess which is harder. Of course I could ask you, Jill, why you felt the need to argue with my non argument. I guess for you everything is an argument?

The bar is a horrible, miserable, grueling experience. The boards are as well. They are clearly comparable.

I took the bar when my son was about 18 months. I needed space and time to study, for sure. The best thing I did was to take the last 10 days before the test and spend 10-12 hours each day at my sister in law's house, which was kid free and very quiet. I locked myself in a back bedroom with a pot of tea and my study materials and just dug in for that last push. If you have a way to let your husband have dedicated time like that during those last 2 weeks, I highly recommend it.

One little trick that he might appreciate... I sucked on atomic fireballs while I studied. The smell, taste, and slight pain from the heat helped reinforce the memorization, so sucking on them during the test gave me an extra memory boost, in theory. Who knows, but it made me feel better and helped me focus.

Encourage him to eat regularly and healthy meals and to stay hydrated. Avoid extra caffeine and energy drinks. Avoid the phrase "of course you will pass," this just adds stress to the prospect of not passing! Be sure he does NOT study the night before the test and tell him not to talk to anyone who took it immediately afterwards.

Best of luck to him!! You couldn't pay me enough to take the bar again, but I love my job so it was worth it!!

Wishing your husband lots of luck! Seeing him through this program was a family effort so congratulations to all of you!

Ohhh a question right up my ally :)

Let me start out by saying that NO professional licensing exam is EASY. They are MEANT to be hard. They are testing your competency to do the job you are being licensed for.

Having said that ... I'm currently in nursing school ... and I was a cosmetologist in a time and land long ago and far away (ok it was 1985 and Ohio ... but still).

I can tell you when I'm studying for a test the fewer questions I have asked about "other" things ... the better. My hubby is always willing to go over practice questions with me. And the mint/gum thing .. totally true in my case. I'm personally a spearmint/wintergreen girl. But chew gum or suck on a mint while studying and then do the same flavor during a test ... it really seems to help.

Easily accessible snacks are good. Taking up the "slack" (for lack of a better term) is also great. Quiet time is fantastic.

Overall though ... each person learns different ways ... so I would ask him what he needs, what you can do to help (my hubby loved when I'd ask him to make me flash cards for things), and just follow his lead. I'm personally a visual and kinetic learner so for me seeing then doing helps. I'm also a study group learner ... if I can explain it to someone else and/or have others to clarify things with I do really well.

As for the "of course you're going to pass thing" ... that's also an individual thing. Some are inspired by the confidence in them ... some find it more pressure. For me I've always responded best to "Just do the absolute best you can. You know this stuff. You can do it" kind of encouragement.

For me the hardest part of the journey so far has been being ok with being less than perfect all the time. For my school a passing grade for the nursing classes is a 75% ... not 74.99999% ... 75%. And for two of my classes I've missed that mark and had to repeat them. What I had to do was stop looking at it as 'failure' and start looking at it as "this is what it takes".

It may take more than one try to pass that final licensing exam ... and that's ok. It will just mean there may be areas he needs to refresh a little more or study a little harder. Just keep pushing through and keep trying. Even the guy who graduated at the bottom of his med school class ... you know what they call him? DOCTOR.

Healthy snack finger foods & fluids is very thoughtful & sweet of you!

I'm sure he knows what he's doing & what he needs to help him the most so just follow his lead, you know his likes & dislikes, go with your gut girl!

We've all heard the chewing the same gum while studying as when taking the test is supposed to be a helpful memory trigger. Stock up on some DoubleMint?! :)