Hi there,
Our 6.5 month old is a great napper, is able to self-soothe, and is currently breastfed and also on solids. Although many breastfed babies her age will still wake up once or twice during the night for feedings (I don't mind this), our daughter wakes up multiple times within an 11 hour period. For example, she will go to bed between 7 and 7:30 most nights, and might be up again at 9, 12, 2, 4, etc etc...most of the time she wakes, I nurse and she goes right back down. On occasion, she's smiling and alert at some odd hour and we have more difficulty getting her back down. She generally wakes for the day between 6 and 6:30.
We recently deciderd that rather than attempting any sleep training during the night, we'd wait it out a little longer and see what her sleep habits are at 7 months. In particular, my husband was really against the sleep training during the night as it disrupted his sleep and he just didn't want to try it, knowing he'd have to get up and work the next day (which I understand). However, he is now away for the next 4 nights and I'm wondering if I should try anything or just leave it alone? I guess by "trying", what I mean is that for some of her wakings, I'd let her cry for a certain amount of time, then pat her back, then try again, etc etc until she fell asleep. I don't imagine this will be easy since she tends to not whimper but go right in to full-blown screaming when she wakes. I'd also be attempting this without the support of my husband around....
I guess I feel it could be an opportunity for me to help her sleep longer (assuming she's ready for that)----without my husband having to go through the whole ordeal.
Any thoughts? Thanks!
I did it! I put her down for the night and 90 minute later she was up. I let her cry in intervals of 5 to 10 minutes, went in and talked to her briefly but did not pick her up, and about 40 minutes she was asleep. About 15 minutes after that I heard her up again but that lasted only 5 minutes. I think that was the longest and hardest. She never made a peep again until midnight, and I fed her at that point. She then woke up again around 2'ish and I did the same thing I did the first time 'round...she got the picture and went back to sleep easier and faster than the first time. I never heard a peep until 5 and I fed her again...she was up for the day a little before 6. So, all in all, although I didn't get a great night sleep....I feel so much better that I fed her only twice, and gave her the opportunity to fall asleep on her own without a breast in her mouth...I'm going to try again tonight, hopefully with the same or better results.
Well since he is only gone for 4 days it will be difficult to start anything. She will know he is gone. I would wait until he is home if you really want to do this.
I can't let a baby cry at night and never did.
I am a true believer in sleep training. I have a 4 year old, 2 1/2 year old and a 7 month old (all boys!). I nursed my 2 older ones till about 13 months, and I plan to do the same for our 7 month old. Our pediatrician is an old school doc (he is in his 70's), and when we had our first son, at 6 months he told me to start sleep training like what you described in your post. He said that babies at this age are beginning to realize that you are somewhere else when they can't see you, and they want you - so they cry to get you. However, they are smart, and if you come once, they figure you will come again and again - and they are right.
So, my advice is if your baby is only nursing a little bit and then falling back to sleep, she is not hungry, she just wants to see you. So, it is time to sleep train. The longer you wait, the worse the habit is build, and the harder it is to break. Some nights my 7 month old still gets up 3-4 times. I have to let him cry it out. I know that he doesn't need a "snack" until about 1-2 am, and then out of habit he gets up at 5am for a feeding. Anything other than that, and I let him cry it out. We are still in the beginning stages. It takes a couple of really bad nights, I won't lie. My 2 year old was HORRIBLE. But, we got through it and now he is a great sleeper and sleeps through the night. I would say go for it if you are really motivated to do it. If you aren't, it won't work. You have to wait until you are ready to do it. Hope this helps.
Your baby is still little. I don't think sleep training is ever really a good option. Your child just might need a drink or food at night. Growth spurts happen at night, so many times, additional food is needed. It is not abnormal at all for a baby that age to still be waking, society just tells us it is and that we need to force it. Before making the choices, please read up on the posible negative side effects of sleep training. Here are a few articles for you.
A review of sleep-training research:http://www.drmomma.org/2009/12/sleep-training-review-of-r...
The Con of Controlled Crying
http://www.naturalchild.org/guest/pinky_mckay.html
A great read on sleeping through the night:
http://www.kathydettwyler.org/detsleepthrough.html
Excessive crying can be harmful to babies:
http://www.askdrsears.com/html/10/handout2.asp
Interesting info on self-soothing:
http://www.drmomma.org/2009/12/should-baby-soothe-himself...
Dr. Sears on sleep "issues"
http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T070100.asp
Two different viewpoints:
http://sleep-disorders.suite101.com/article.cfm/dr_ferber...
How responding to infants can shape their entire life:
http://www.whatmakesyoutick.org/
And, finally, a great read on gentle sleep solutions is Elizabeth Pantly's No Cry Sleep Solution books. They worked wonders over at our house! Here's a link...
a thought....your child is starting to teeth around this age. (you may notice when she is up frequently to nurse becuase the nursing soothes her gums and makes the pain go away) Now another point is if seh gets that worked up she may end up vomitting. I could never sleep train my daughter. Just not for me, or her (she would poop herself over and over again or vomit) Now every kid is diffferent and every situation is different, but I hope you dont make her sleep worse if you try to ''fix" her sleep. This country has a different attitude about what an infant is expected to be able to do at such a young age. Again that works for some kids, but I fear your highly opinionated child may not have an easy time with this. I undestand you feel the need to "help" her sleep longer but again she is waking to nurse, not play. She doesnt need "help" to sleep. Other countries would never dream of kids this young sleeeping through the night. Are they having massive sleep issues as adults? Again you need to do what works for your family, but just keep in mind not all kids are meant ot be sleeping through the night at this age. Dont let anyone make you feel like what you are doing is wrong no matter what you choose
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Go for it. She is at the age that is optimal for sleep training. The longer you wait, the harder it will be. A friend of my has a 21 month old daugther who they are just now attempting to sleep train. Because she and her husband went back and forth so may times with CIO and no CIO (she was for it, he was not), the poor girl is a wreck. She has now learned to make herself vomit to get mommy or daddy to come in when they attempt to let her cry for more than 5 mintues. I sleep trained my now 23-month-old daugther at about 6 months, and she sleeps 12 hours straight through, no problem, and has since we began the training. I know how hard it is to listen to your baby cry. I would just sit by the monitor and try not to cry myself, but after a few nights, she was getting great sleep. Just remember... you doing what's best for you baby by teaching her to self-soothe and get a good nights sleep. If she is waking up every few hours throughout the night, there's no way she could be getting the deep, restful sleep she needs to learn and explore her world during the day.The sooner you do it, the easier it will be. Good luck!
I am a believer of sleep training and did it with both of my children (they are now 24 and 20) Although I was in support of it because I was so sleep deprived I could not have done it alone. It is very difficult to listen to your child cry, so my husband pretty much had to encourage me through the entire process. It took three nights and by night four my babies both slept. When I did sleep train I waited until they were both a year old. BIG MISTAKE. They were both old enough to stand call MA MA and each time I would go in and lay them back down they would scream louder. The reason I went in every 10 minutes or so was because I did not want them to think I had abandoned them I just wanted them to know it meant I was not going to pick them up, they needed to sleep. So I would go in say night night, lay them down, say mommy loves you and leave the room. The first night the crying went one for 1 hour, the second night maybe 30 minutes, the third night 15 minutes, and night 4 nothing. I did do it also at nap time to keep consistency for them and also to reinforce self-soothing. You will probably get very mixed comments on sleep training, and trust me it is not for everyone. It is personal choice and basically for me a necessity. I was a stay at home mom who needed to function during my day. Good luck on whatever you decide. One other thing that made my situation different from yours is I did not breastfeed. Therefore, I knew hunger was not an issue for us. Since your child is still feeding when waking I would make sure it is not hunger first. It does sound like since she is getting solids that she may be just using you as a pacifier to get back to sleep.
Is she eating alot at these feedings? if not, she could just be waking up and not know how to soothe herself back to sleep. Our dd took a paci at night, and only woke up hungry during a growth spurt.
I think it is great you are sleep training your baby. But you will need some help from your husband. I found when I was nursing if he went and soothed the baby, then he (my son) didn't get any milk. After awhile my son just nursed right before he went to sleep and then slept through the night. It is wonderful!!! Stay strong and remember you are the parent and she is the baby.
I'd say definitely try it! When I started sleep training my daughter (at 4 months), I was really surprised at how quickly she adapted. After one crying it out session, there was a big change and within two days she was sleeping a lot longer at night and during the day. If you can make it through one night on your own (I usually set things aside to do during these times, like cleaning the bathroom or shoveling the front steps so that I didn't have to just sit there and listen), I think you'll notice an improvement. Good luck!
Again - decide once and for all what you want to do. Changing the game and going back and forth between CIO and not CIO for your child could be complete torture for her. Think of it from her standpoint: "Hmm, during the day I cry and cry and cry and she doesn't come, so I guess I'll just fall asleep." Then, when night time comes, she cries and you go get her. Come the next day when she is fighting sleep and you don't go to her, the crying only becomes more and more intense because that's what worked the last time. It doesn't matter which way you go but you have to be consistent.
Why is your husband so opposed to CIO? Is it because he's going to be inconvenienced for a few days due to a lack of sleep? What about your poor daughter who, for 6 months, has gotten fragmented sleep? What about you, the primary caregiver who has got to be fried to the core due to your lack of sleep? Honestly, at her age she does not have a *need* to get up 4 times a night to eat or have companionship in the middle of the night.
Ultimately it is up to you. But be consistent - the more you flip-flop the harder it gets for your poor kid who is already overtired and not getting the longer blocks of deep restorative sleep she needs.
I think it would be a great opportunity to try sleep training while your husband is away.
If you plan well and don't give in the urge to run to her too soon you may be able to adjust her sleeping habits in those four days. When my son refused to fall asleep by himself I let him cry for a bit (I used the Ferber method as a guideline). It took only two nights until he was able to fall asleep by himself. I was amazed. It took much longer with my second child, even though I used the same approach. I guess everyone is different. But I think for sure you can do the whole thing much more relaxed knowing that you don't have to worry about your husband not getting enough zzz.
Good luck and be strong!
Well, my first instinct was to say why not try it? And so why not try it? But you might have a different type of situation when hubby comes back. Is your baby only exclusively breast fed? Perhaps it is the comfort and coziness for the nursing all night or perhaps it is a little extra hunger. Ask the doctor when something like baby cereal could be introduced. It is filling but I do acknowledge that all doctors feel different. Baby may do wonderfully while husband is away but get all happy, happy when he comes back so you are definitely experimenting. Why not just enjoy baby by yourself guilt free and know that this wonderful thing will end someday and you will be waking up waiting for people to come home from dates.
