Husband "Misplaced" His Wedding Ring

Updated on July 02, 2008
J.P. asks from Colleyville, TX
20 answers

Ok ladies...I have been letting it really bother me that my husband has "misplaced" his wedding ring. It has been over a month and he can't find it. He says it is under something here at the house and he will find it. It hurts. It makes me feel as though his ring isn't as important to him as it is to me. There are times I have lashed out and said I just won't wear mine until you find yours. I know that is wrong, mean, and childish, but it still hurts. He stopped off this morning and bought another ring. He said until he finds his, he wants to show the world he is taken. I know he did this because I have made such a big deal about it. Seeing this ring on his hand is just not the same. When I see it, it will remind me he has lost his actual one. Am I being rediculous? Maybe it's just my pregnancy hormones (due in October) and I'm extremely emotional right now about every little thing. Should I just "let it go" and not let it bother me anymore? Being married is not about the rings anyway, right? Any feedback will be welcomed...good and bad. Thanks!

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So What Happened?

Thanks, ladies! I knew you guys could help me through this. I can't wait for my husband to get home so I can hug him and tell him I appreciate what he did. I know there are so many battles I create on emotion...saying things before I think through the situation. I appreciate you guys!

Featured Answers

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J.R.

answers from Dallas on

I am like Khristina...I am the one always loosing the ring. It's kind of like a joke to us now. My sister is the same way. She lost her ring for years, bought two more inexpensive ones from QVC, and then found it seriously about 6 years later when they sold their couch and were about to move it in someone's truck (they heard rattling). lol. So don't take it personally, people do just loose stuff. I'm glad you were able to work it out though! Tease him that now he has to tatto a ring on! hmmmm? maybe I should do that?

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G.W.

answers from Dallas on

This is why I only spent $100 dollars on my hubby's ring--he loses EVERYTHING!! He still lost the cheap ring and he felt horrible (I helped with that :)). He bought himself another one too and still takes it off to work out and around the house so it'll be gone soon too. Don't put too much stock in material things--they can all be taken away. Good Luck!

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A.B.

answers from Dallas on

Heehee, my dad has lost his ring at least a half dozen times, he just goes and gets a new one. Cheapest he can find. He works on the car with it and then takes it off to wash his hands and it goes down the drain! LOL! Mom got mad the first time cause that one was expensive, but now she's used to it. He loves you, just let it go.

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K.D.

answers from Dallas on

I'm sorry, I found this a little funny, (not like ha ha funny...but just funny), because I am the one who can never find my ring. I started taking mine off after my car accident because of the nerve damage and now its gone. I can't find my ring anywhere and I know it bothered my husband at first but we have been married since 1996 and he know's I love him. I hope you all find it and if you dont just remember it is special, but in the end it is just a material item and you have him....no one else. :-)

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G.A.

answers from Tyler on

In the big scheme of life, it is just a ring. Yes, we think it is important, but more important is that he loves you, is committed to you, treats you wonderful, and even went as far as replacing it. I say let it go, cut him some slack, and I am sure the ring will turn up somewhere.

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Y.D.

answers from Dallas on

My husband lost his ring a couple of months ago and I havent been able to wear mine since I had my son 2 1/2 years ago. At first it bothered me that he lost it, but I soon realized that marriage is not about the ring, it is about the commitment you have made to each other. So, we both dont wear rings and we are both happy. I think it was a super-nice gesture for your hubby to go buy a new ring, you should feel blessed that he cared enough to do so. Good luck with your new baby and give your husband a break.

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N.

answers from Dallas on

I think your hormones are causing you to be too sensitive about the situation. When you can think rationally about it, you will realize it is just a ring and rings, no matter what their "sentimental" value is, can be replaced.

My husband bought me a beautiful diamond cross necklace for Christmas one year and I lost it shortly after he gave it to me. I believe it went down the drain in the shower as I found the neck chain, sans the pendent, when I was drying off. We were sad because it was expensive (to us anyway) and very pretty, but my husband didn't think I didn't love him anymore because I was careless enough to lose it.

Your husband may have bought the replacement ring because he wanted to reassure you that he didn't misplace it on purpose so others wouldn't know he's married, or maybe he just bought another ring to keep you from nagging him about his old one. Regardless of the reason, I think it was nice that he went to the trouble and I think you need to realize not a lot of husbands would do that.

Remember to appreciate what you have and don't put so much value on things you've lost. You'll waste too much time and effort worrying about things that are gone and then you'll miss out on enjoying the things, and people, you still have.

Congratulations on your baby on the way!

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L.C.

answers from Dallas on

Hi J., Yes you are a little emotional about it and it sounds like he is doing everything he can to make the situation better. Is it really just the ring or are you feeling insecure, or suspicious? I know that when I was pregnant with my second child I felt very insecure about everything I know that is was hormonal so I had to really discipline my thoughts and actions to keep sane. If you are really concerned about his loyality to you and your insticts are really speaking too you than you may want to look into the situation, but if it is just plain hurt feelings than let it go and embrace his thoughtfulness for trying to please you by getting another. Congradulations on baby 2!!

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S.H.

answers from Dallas on

My husband lost his last year, and we look everywhere for it. Nothing.

He wanted to get another ring, and ended up getting one that he LOVES wearing. It's a Superman ring. lol

Although I loved his original one, because it was custom done and symbolic to us, I love that he loves this one, too. :) And it's nice to know he's proud to wear one on that finger. :D

So, yea...let it go. He's still willing to wear something, which is awesome, even if it's "just because [you] made such a big deal about it." It just shows he still cares what you think. lol

My FIL doesn't wear his anymore, because his fingers have "grown", but I KNOW he still loves my MIL. You can see it in their marriage. So, the ring is a symbol of that, but the light you shine is the REAL DEAL. :D

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A.C.

answers from Dallas on

He sounds like he's trying hard to make you feel comfortable and secure. You may be feeling insecure b/c you're pregnant (I did, and I have the best husband in the world!). Try to remember that and cut him some slack unless there's a REAL, tangible reason to cause you concern.
My husband lost his ring once playing with it at work: he would slide it off with his thumb and spin it like a quarter on his desk while on the phone with a customer all the time (he did this at home on the computer, too). Then it bounced off the desk and into the trash can under his desk. He was scared to come home and was tearing the place up looking for it, even had 2 other guys helping them. They even removed his AC vent in case it fell in there. He was so scared, but just as he was leaving to face the music, he saw it in the trash can. Funny. I am a very happily married woman and adore him but he wears his ring much more than I wear mine. I tend to wear mine more when we're on a date or if I'm getting dressed up. I don't like wearing it around the house b/c I don't want to scratch my son, or wear it when I'm cleaning chicken, or while I'm scrubbing sinks, etc. Just a preference.

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P.D.

answers from Dallas on

J.,

I didn't even read through all the replies, but I can tell you that it would bother me too. That said, I lost MY ring a few years back and I cried for over a week about it, it still makes me sad. My DH was NOT happy with me, but it was gone none the less. If he lost his, I'm sure he would just expect me to get over it, but it would make me sad too. Just remember that what you are truly feeling is probably just sadness and disappointment and unfortunately, he is a perfect target - LOL!

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C.G.

answers from Dallas on

I've been married twice, the first time for nine years and my husband never took his ring off and cheated twice! My current husband has outgrown his band and doesn't wear it and I'm totally secure in our marriage.
You seem to know you're being a bit childish so I'm not going to beat you up. I hope when you read all these responses you'll see how you've treated your husband and maybe do something nice for him...he obviously cares for you and your feelings or he wouldn't have bought the replacement.
If you let something as small as a ring terrorize your marriage you're in for a rude awakening.
Men lose things...you might lose something one day too. Cut him some slack and take care of yourself. I'm sure your hormones are crazy right now, but you are acting a bit immature about this.

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E.L.

answers from Dallas on

All I can say is PICK YOUR BATTLES! He is trying to be nice, acknowledge it!

Good Luck!
E.

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P.F.

answers from Amarillo on

I truly hope that this is only your hormones speaking, because if it is not you may drive him away someday. The rings are a symbol, mostly for the world to see, but also as a reminder of the bond that holds you together as man and wife. Please let this go and "don't sweat the small stuff". I can tell you that after being married to the man I love for 31 years that if the rings are a source of problem then you should get a back stock because men have to be able to remove their rings to do all sort of work. My husband has worn his through thick and thin but has lost two at different times because of working on something that the ring would have either gotten in the way or was dangerous to wear while he worked on it.
The long and short of it is that your husband proved his loved by getting another one so that he could show the world just for you. In his heart I expect that the ring is a permanent fixture anyway. Love him for that and not for the symbol.
Also, you are setting an example for your son...what message do you want to send him?
I hope this helps. By the way, I have not worn my ring in almost 25 years of our marriage because I got too heavey for it and we could not afford another, but my husband has never complained about my weight or the lack of the ring and he still looks at me like he did on the day we got married. Smile and enjoy your husband while you can because in a little while you will have a bundle that will take your attention away from the two people who are the center of your life right now and you won't be able to look up for a while. What a blessing you have.

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T.A.

answers from Dallas on

Hi J.,

I don't think it means the same to the guys as it does to us. most men are just not sentimental like that. My husband constantly takes his ring off and spins it, throws it, basically plays with it. At first it bothered me, but after eleven years I know that it is just a "guy" thing. The fact that he went out and bought a new one, shows that since it is important to you, it is important to him. Just keep looking, and it will eventually turn up! Good luck!

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K.B.

answers from Dallas on

My husband hasn't worn his ring for the past 10 years due to the fact he works with electricity every day. But it hurts when I don't see him wearing his ring. I make a point to give him his rings when we go out after work, etc. But I understand where you are coming from. Sorry I can't help but you're not the only one who feels that way.

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E.A.

answers from Dallas on

I think it was very nice of your hubby to buy a new ring to wear. We all lose things. I haven't been able to wear my ring after having my second child. It is just a piece of jewelry that symbolizes the vow you guys took. It isn't the vow itself. Congrats on the baby!!!

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K.D.

answers from Dallas on

whoa there girl!! It is just a bit of metal. Some people aren't used to wearing jewelry. I lose mine sometimes because I need to dry skin underneath. It doesn't mean I love my husband less or that I am cheating, it means I am sometimes an idiot. He went out & got another to make you happy.....that is a good man! Be happy be healthy for your baby! When your hubby comes home hug him and help him look around for it. If you don't find it, it's ok.....you still have each other!

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C.A.

answers from Dallas on

Hi J.,

Like a lot of other wives, I've had this experience, too. The first ring I bought my husband was platinum and after he lost it (before our first anniversary) I decided no more expensive rings for him. I get his (he's on ring #3 now and we'll be married 7 years this October) at James Avery. I think for some guys it's just tough to keep track of it. Granted, if he'd keep it on and not play with it like a kid he wouldn't lose it. But, that's who he is and I'm finally realizing I can't change it. :)

Congratulations on the baby on the way!
C.

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J.T.

answers from Dallas on

don't sweat the small stuff... he has a ring on his finger, we all lose things, etc. cut him some slack and try to relax, you don't need to stress over this kind of stuff, it's not good for you or the baby.

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