I Am at a Loss...

He's five months old, not 5 years old. If he's hungry at night, FEED HIM!! I know you are tired, but this is the sacrifice we make when we become mommies. I have 2 older girls and am 11 week old infant as well, and yeah I'm exhausted. I also run an in home daycare. Sometimes I get a bit crabby from being so tired, but that doesn't mean I will skip waking up at night to give my helpless baby one of his basic needs.

Just fill his bottle with water at night. After a night or two he'll realize he's only going to get water and may sleep through.

I was pulling my hair out at approximately the same age with my son, because I just couldn't get enough sleep. My pediatrician also said to just let him cry it out, and stop feeding him in the night. I think that trying to give him some rice cereal with the bottle right before bed is a good idea, it may help with the overnight feedings. I hope you get some sleep soon! :)

It sounds like your issue, not his. I agree with the other posters that he is probably truly hungry, and needs the nutrition still even in the middle of the night. He is growing like crazy and will be for a long while.

"Is the only way to make him stop waking up to stop feeding him?" ...It is actually quite irrational to think that you can forgo the needs of your child so that you can get some more sleep. It is not his fault if he is hungry or in pain. He is waking up because he needs something. You shouldn't deny him the care he deserves.

I suggest getting yourself some help to cope, and seeking the professional help of a therapist/psychiatrist. What you have said in this single post makes it pretty clear that you have or may be developing Postpartum Depression. You need some help. Somehow you need to take a break and take care of yourself, and get yourself back on track for your children's sake.

Both of my sons had the same problem and I found out that he wasn't getting enough food to last them the night. I know that pediticians say not to give them any food until they say so but I gave my children some rice cereal with thier last feed before bed and that helped them sleep longer during the night. Also if he is teething that will keep him up as the pain is always worse at night for some ungodly reason. Try some baby anbesol that should help with the teething pain. Wishing the best of luck to the both of you.

I'm going through the exact same thing with a 8mo.old and this maynot be "good" advise and some may say I'm a bad parent but it works for me and if I didn't do this I'd pull my hair out and flip out with sleep deprivation. My daughter either sleeps with ME or in her pack n play by me and I hand her the bottle or prop it up. I refuse to GET UP and feed her. I will however hand her a bottle because she too will scream til she's fed. She was really bad about it around 6-7mos. and seems to be getting better only needing a bottle at like 5am now, then will sleep til 8am. I know propping a bottle is "bad" but not getting sleep is worse.I don't get up and make bottles either, I make a bottle before bed and leave it in a cooler by my bed she likes her bottles room temp or cold so not a problem. It is so frustrating and the cry it out method doesn't work so well. I plan sometime over summer break to break my baby but more towards August when she's closer to a year old. Right now I'm trying to introduce the sippy cup and I hope to have her fully weaned to sippy during the day sometime by August. I figured we can spend alot of time outside withuot clothes on in a diaper and master the sippy cup and all the spills OUTSIDE then by the end of the summer she'll be pushing a year old and we can just ease out of nighttime bottles too. If you don't wean them around 12mos. it does get super duper hard. My oldest child was on a night time bottle til 2.5 years old because I was a softie and didn't take it away and she has ALOT of dental problems now. So with this baby I'm gonna baby her but around 12mos. it's time for buisness.

A few different ideas...My son was not sleeping through the night at 5 months, actually now at almost 18 months he still sometimes wakes for a nightime bottle or just a snuggle. I don't think most babies start sleeping straight thru until maybe 10 months or so...?

Also-it always gave me comfort in remembering that a baby's idea of 'sleeping through the night' and ours is quite different. A stretch of 7 hours is a lot for them, but usually most of that time we have spent not sleeping because they go to bed earlier.

Have you tried moving up his bedtime? My son was not a great daytime napper so he was generally in bed between 6-7p until he was about 13 months. He would sleep until about 11p, take a bottle and then sleep until about 6ish. Maybe an earlier bedtime would mean a few things...one, maybe you would only have to get up once earlier in the night and then get a longer stretch of sleep after that before morning.

At five months I don't think they are old enough yet to hold their own bottle, but once he is you could try giving him the bottle in the crib. I KNOW every mom out there is going to freak at that suggestion, but I checked with our ped and she was fine with it. Once he was old enough he pref'd being given the bottle in his crib then to being held. We would go in, give him the bottle, he'd take it, drink it and go right back to sleep. He didn't use it as a paci and suck it all night.

If that doesn't work, I say just feed him. I got worked up knowing my son 'should' be sleeping through the night by 10 months, but I refused to let him cry it out. For one...if he's hungry and you let him cry what do you have...a worn out tired baby who is still hungry...what good is that? If you feed him right away the amount of time you are awake will be much shorter anyway. Our son is a happy little toddler and I'm very glad we erred on the side of feeding him as opposed to making him miserable and crying it out. Maybe every baby is different, and they say if you don't break the habit early it won't go away, but ours has 'outgrown' the need for the middle of the middle of the night bottle for the most part.

Good luck.

My son was 8 plus month old before he slept through the night. I think some babies just take longer to adjust.
I thought he was never going to sleep through the night
and then when he did I ran to his crib to see if he was breathing because he sleep so long.
Good luck....
Sounds like you have tried all the right things.

This is probably not what you want to hear but...he is 5 months old! Of course you should be feeding him when he wakes up! He is probably hungry and his mouth hurts. Give him some baby ibuprofen and a bottle. Feed him in a recliner and fall asleep with him. Or feed him in bed and fall asleep with him. Just make sure he can't fall on the floor or get crushed between you and your husband. Don't let him cry it out. He is way too young. You shouldn't be cutting out bottle feedings until he closer to one. And you should be replacing with sippy cup at that time. Give a bottle right before his fall asleep time. His tummy will be full longer. If you think he is teething give him some baby ibuprofen before the bottle. With both of those going he might sleep longer. It sounds like you need to take a break too. See if your husband or a friend will give you a little time away on a weekend to pamper yourself - manicure, pedicure, shopping, etc. If you don't relax a little it sounds like you are going to crack - I know the feeling, my 5yo was a colicky baby and there was no sleep for the first year of his life. And I am a single mom......

I tried cry-it-out with my 1st born and I think it backfired because she is soooo needy and clingy and STILL wakes up plenty of times almost every night at 3 1/2 years old. My 18 month old I tried CIO it once or twice, but she got so upset she'd be puking and I had enough! I just gave her what she wanted, nursed when she needed it, and went when she called. As a result, I feel like she is more secure and knows if she cries, I'll come. (she's been sleeping through the night now since 9 months -WAAAY earlier than my older one even with the CIO method) You can give your baby tylenol to ease teething pain, but really, when they hurt, they maybe just need to be held and since he's so little, maybe he just needs to nurse for COMFORT more than anything - which maybe you could try a pacifier to help give you a break from nursing? Also it is possible he really is hungry. If he's teething it might hurt to nurse for long periods of time so he's needing to do more snacking-type of nursing? I'd invest in some coffee and maybe even Korean Ginseng for yourself (it's mood stabilizing as well as gives you energy, and is all-natural) I take only half a dose on days now when I need it. And remember, you're both gonna 'get there'! Just press on, it'll get better! Best wishes and good luck!

Just feed him. It may take 15 minutes each time but being up for a half hour a night is a whole lot better than listening to your little boy cry.
I tried the tough mom thing with my first daughter (because everyone told me she no longer needed night feedings and should be sleeping thru the night) and decided that I was going to do what works for both of us this time around. My 8 month old isn't a big "solids" eater and still wakes 1 time a night because she is hungry. I just prepare a bottle before I go to bed and refrigerate it so its ready when she wakes. Makes my nights a whole lot easier and doesn't wake the whole house during the night.
Good luck... do what you can to get sleep.. don't feel like you are breaking "the rules".. he is your baby... and what you choose to do is noone elses concern.
C.

Sounds like you need a break.

Baby's can feel the tension in their moms.

Have you tried listening to soothing music, or the swinging chair, our son practically lived in that thing when he was a baby.

My heart goes out to you, but it truly sounds like you need little mini "spa day". :-)

J.

I'm not sure if you have been feeding him rice cereal or not, but sometimes that helps them sleep longer if you give them a bottle and rice cereal before putting them to sleep for the night. If he's actually hungry when he wakes up, than this might be helpful. Our daughter ate twice during the night at about the same times up until she was about a year old, so this sounds really normal to me. She is 4 and still wakes up during the night from various things and needs comforting. Can your husband or someone else take 'shifts' in feeding him so you can get a little more rest?

I would just get up and feed him, rock him, comfort him when he cries. At 5 months, they are still expected to get up at times. Our son didn't sleep through the night till 18 months! But it made it much easier by fulfilling his needs right away so he was less anxious than to fight him.

As for the teething, pick up some Hylands' Teething Tablets. They worked wonders with our daughter.

I would just go to him as soon as he wakes so he doesn't work himself up. And get someone else to take him overnight one night to give you a break! Things always look better in the morning then. Good luck.

Teething can be painful. My 17 year old is getting his wisdom teeth and it's different because he can jut tell me that his gums hurt instead of crying. I looked on Google and read to use Orajel, so we made the trip to Walmart to get some. It helped him, so maybe it will help your baby too.

I didn't read all the responses so I hope I am not repeating. Try giving him more in his nightime bottle to last through the night. They can start going all night without a bottle anytime after 2 months. If it's because of the teething, have you tried giving him baby motrin before bed? That lasts 8 hours. I would also keep your mind open to if it could be acid reflux, which occurs when they are lying down. When you pick him up after crying, does he burp a lot, but quietly? Is he swallowing hard? That's a sign of reflux, which is easily treatable.

Good luck!

At 5 months he is still too young to stop the night time feedings. He is probably going through a growth spurt and a developmental change where he needs you for comfort and needs to be fed.

I remember this stage, my son did it too, I was so bummed out that he was waking up multiple times again at night after he just started sleeping well. It will pass, you survived two other babies, just feed him especially if you are nursing.

If you need a break to go for a walk, or have a date with your husband ask your family, friends or neighbors for one. Someone would love to hold your 5 month old baby even if he is crying, and try to help you. Please ask for help.

My son woke up for 1 bottle a night at 4 am until he was 1 year old--he is a taller boy, and I felt like he was hungry and needed the food, too. I think your son is on a pretty good schedule already, but I would also try putting him to bed just a little earlier--back up his schedule by 30 minutes or so, and see if that helps him sleep a little better and a little longer, too. Also, if he is really having teething challenges, I would give him some Tylenol before bedtime, then again if needed during the night, if you haven't already. Hope that helps!

My daughter is also 5mo so I have an idea of what you're going through. Not sleeping at night is directly tied to how much they're eating during the day so make sure to look at that first. We tank our little one up by feeding at 5pm, then at 7:30 before she goes to bed and then dreamfeed between 10-11 before we go to bed. That last feed is essential for her getting through the night. We feed her essentially in her sleep and even if she wakes briefly it's right back to sleep after. Then if she wakes at night (sometimes around 4 or 5) we give her a paci only. If you feed during the waking this will become habit. Good luck, and hang in there.

Hi there! Since you mentioned that your little guy is teething, have you tried elevating the head of his crib a couple of inches? That really helped my daughter. I think laying down kind of increases the pressure on the gums or something. I thought of it after I had my wisdom teeth out. It was too painful to lay flat so I elevated my mattress and slept soundly!
Also, Hylands teething tablets were my best friend :) I can't believe how well they worked!
I hope you get some sleep soon! I know the feeling well!

Just wanted to add my opinion that you should get up and feed your baby. He is hungry and five months is WAY too young to let him cry. Make the feedings as quiet and quick as possible, but snuggle and feed him. Babies cry because they need us and, as parents, it is our responsibility to meet those needs. You have an extremely demanding life and I have no doubt at all that you are exhausted. Is there any way at all that you can get some help? Go to bed as early as possible and just accept that your baby will wake up because he is in pain and hungry. Help him immediately and get back to sleep as fast as possible. Don't try to break him of anything. He will sleep better when he feels better and is old enough to eat more during the day.

B.
Mom to 2 kids who didn't sleep through the night until they were well over a year

You have gotten a lot of good advice. You haven't said if the crying is only when you try not to feed him. But if it is, do feed him. If he is crying even when you feed him at these intervals, please post again.

Also, to try to get more rest yourself, you could put him in bed with you if you both sleep well next to the other. I have done this with my last several babies, and I can't believe the difference it makes in the morning. This last baby wakes me up four times a night or more, but I am still pretty rested in the morning. If I don't have to get up, and can just roll over and stick a bottle or breast in the baby's mouth, I don't interrupt my sleep cycles so badly, I guess. I don't know if you are nursing or bottling, and it will take some real planning if you are bottling. Maybe have the bottle of water by the bed with the powder measured out in a container next to it.

I would also agree with the Hyland's recommendation for teething. It is natural and won't have side affects or long-term health affects of any kind. I sometimes wonder about the Tylenol, though I do use it when I have to.

Hang in there!! Are you nursing or bottle feeding? If bottle feeding, as your hubby to take turns with you at night...if nursing, try taking lechithin and drinking TONS of water - maybe he's not getting enough milk? My first didn't sleep through the night until he was 6 months old and my second didn't sleep through the night until ~7 months old! I was a zombie for a while there due to lack of sleep. Don't be shy about asking friends and family for 'help' and let them help you all they will! It's short term and I'm sure you have, or will, do the same for them when they can use the help!

I hate to say this but our son didn't consistently sleep through the night until about 18-24 months. If possible do as the other posters suggested and have others help you by taking him for a night now and then. Something that helped us was to move our son's bedtime to about 8:00 p.m.. I would also give him a night feeding at 10:00 p.m. whether he woke up or not. I left the light off in his room, picked him up and fed him while he slept. Sometimes he only ate a few ounces...other times he took the whole bottle. This often helped us get to at least 5:00 a.m. before he was looking for another bottle. That was much better than being woken up every 2-4 hours in the night. Even with the night feeding, our son often woke up every hour when he was teething. We went in and comforted him and then went back to bed. Usually that only lasted for a few nights in a row. Those first months were the worst...it seemed like we eventually got used to waking up in the evenings. As he got older our son slept longer between wakeups. Now he typically only wakes up when he needs to use the bathroom...something I was very grateful for during potty training. Hang in there...it will get better. In the meantime...try to have friends and family help when possible.

Sounds like a normal growth spurt. Please, feed your child when they cry like that. Crying it out doesn't work if your child is hungry. Five months is still VERY young for sleeping through the night. I know my oldest didn't until he was closer to 10 months.
It's totally exhausting. I agree with the other posters that you probably need a break, too! Are you breastfeeding or formula feeding? If it's formula, make someone else give him the bottle. If it's breast, see if your husband can help you more in the morning or at night so that you can just relax and take time to feed your child.
You sound depressed, and if that's the case PLEASE talk to someone about it. Postpartum depression isn't a joke and if you need help, you need help!
Good luck!

Little ones that young don't cry for no reason, he needs something either you or the food. my son night weaned at 7 months on his own, until then he would sleep about 4 hours then be up every 2 hours sometimes one hour at night. Sometimes i took him back to bed with me if he needed loves, or i would nurse him. He worked it out on his own and so will your little one. my son went from always awake at night to sleeping 12 hours straight in one day. sometimes even now at 14 months he wakes and needs me. He hasn't nursed at night since 7 months but he still needs to feel safe if he gets scared. i know the frustration you feel right now but try to breathe deep, and take a moment to yourself. He will grow out of it and someday you will miss the days when he needed you so much:)

hate to say it, but this is normal baby behavior.
crying it out doesnt work, because it doesnt. www.askdrsears.com has some info on crying it out sensibly, and its usually not until your instincts tell you that your child doesnt need something immediatly. usually doesnt happen until around a year old.

the lack of sleeping can be caused by the teething. also, simple developmental things like rolling over, crawling, etc will all cause sleep disruptions.

babies have tiny tummies. they have to eat when they are hungry. if thats what it takes to get him back to sleep, dont feel that for any reason you have to deny him this. it is a myth, and a LIE that children this age cry for attention or to manipulate us. they cry for a NEED. thats the only reason babies under a year cry. trust yourself and trust your child to tell you what he needs when he cries! listen to it! :D you are the only one who is the expert on your child.

take a break from working if you can. i also run an in home child care, and i know what its like. i only had 2 kids at the time my son was that age, and we just made due. we coslept because that was the only arrangement that would allow us to sleep. it might be easier that i was breastfeeding, breastfeeding while bedsharing made it easy for me to get more sleep... you dont say either way what you are doing, so its hard to say. obviously a bottle requires preparation at some point, but read on...

you can prepare bottles before bed, and share with hubby. you do one, he does one. i do believe it is safe to leave a bottle of formula out in room temp for 24 hrs, so overnight would be fine. just stay in bed, have baby in the room with you if thats possible to reduce the amount of running around you have to do at night. its best if you can stay in bed and get baby back to sleep after a feeding if he's right there next to you.

during the day, a lot of sling time will help. the moby wrap is the single most comfortable sling i have tried. its extremely helpful! you will also be able to use it with any future child care babies, so its WELL worth you purchasing it! just have patience, as you know, this time doesnt last long.
tylenol is perfectly safe for infants, if the dosage isnt on the bottle, ask your doctor, or www.askdrsears.com might have that information. i know 'the baby book' by william sears has a chart that specifies tylenol amounts by weight which is awesome.

anyway, good luck.
as you know from having 2 other kids, sleep is never a constant, once you get into a rhythm something changes and someone isnt sleeping again. trusting that YOU know better than anyone else will be the key to happy parenting. only YOU know your son and have the tools you need to specifically care for him. trust yourself!

Your baby is hungry, so feed him! Then you can both go back to sleep. You don't say if you BF or formula, but BF babies can't go all night without nursing until they are from 9 - 12 months old! Formula fed babies don't all sleep through the entire night at any magic age, either. Also, start feeding him rice cereal if you haven't already. I fed my daughter rice cereal from about 4 months, and fed her (nursed her) during the night (at 1 a.m. and 5 a.m.) until she was about 12 months old.

your baby is hungry.

Maybe try an earlier bedtime, 6:00-6:30....it worked wonders for my now 2 year old, and we are getting my 3 month old into the swing of it too....seems counter-intuitive, but earlier bedtimes make them both sleep LONGER, not less.

Also, make sure the bedroom is dark, quiet, and maybe has some white noise, like a small floor fan running to drown out outside noises.

If those don't work, try reading the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Dr. marc Weissbluth - that is where we learned these things, and what got our daughter at 7 months to go from 8 pm bedtima nd waking 5 times a night to a 6 pm bedtime and only waking at midnight and then sleeping till 6 am!!!

Good Luck!

jessie