"I Do It!"

I hate to say it but you are just going to have to wait this out!! My daughter is in the same stage and I started to get her the pullups and potty trained her!! If he wants to be big then give him things to do that will help you around the house. I always tell my daughter that I will sit here and wait for her and when she is ready for my help to ask and I will help her.

The best thing that you can do at this age is have them help you so that they can show you how big of a helper they are. I even got a small vaccum and when my kids are under my feet I will get that out and let them have fun. If I can get someone else to vac and dust for me, even if it is not my way, I'll take it!!

WOW, flash back for me. I was a Nanny for a couple years and I remember the first little boy was almost two and he wanted to do everything himself. Like tie his tennis shoes and change his diaper or crawl into his crib and out of it. I can remember the fights, so I know what you're going through.
Here's what I did. I would tell him, if he wanted to go outside, he had to wear his sandals. If he wanted to climb in the crib he would have to wait for me to stand by him. I'd help if he needed it. Same with the monkey bars. We got him pull ups that he could change himself. It was a little more work and after a couple of months he went back to having us do it all. I hope this helps. To stop the tantrums, Give him a heads up on all changes that happen during the day. the more warning he has while moving from one activity to another, even something as simple as saying, We're almost done with lunch. When we are done, we are going to---whatever. See. That should help, it did with my own kids. I also told them how I expected them to behave while in the store or the resteraunte. He's old enough, now to understand.

Hi S. S,

I have a 2 year old as well. She is in this phase too. What I do that seems to help is to tell her that she can have a turn and then its my turn. Some of the time she will let me assist her and sometime she doesn't. But our agreement is, she can try first then I get to do it. Sometimes I will play with her and pretend to struggle (like getting dressed) and ask her to help me. I hope this helps.

L.

Many mothers offered specific suggestions for the diaper situation that you might find very helpful, but it sounds to me like you're dealing with these tantrums constantly.

My daughter turns 2 next week, and I swear she hit the terrible twos the day she started walking at 10.5 months. What has worked really REALLY well for me is to offer her choices. I know, you hear this all the time - give them as many choices as possible like "the red one or the blue one?" I do that too, but what I'm suggesting goes a step further.

When my daughter decides to throw a tantrum, I offer her two acceptable options: "Would you like to stay here and be sweet with mommy, or would you like to go to your room to cry?" A lot of times I will lead into it with a "I know you are very upset, and sometimes when I'm upset it makes me feel better to cry, but mommy doesn't like to listen to you cry." I want her to know that her feelings are okay, but the BEHAVIOR is not.

When we first started this, she would just continue to scream, so I would (gently) take her by the hand with a comment along the lines of "Okay, lets go cry in Mia's room," and then lead her there. I would lay her down in her bed, calmly give her her pacifier and offer a hug and a kiss. I always ALWAYS tell her "I love you, please come out for another hug when you're ready to be sweet!" And then I left. Of course in the begining she'd hop up and come chasing me (still screaming) so I'd offer the choice once again, and repeat the process. She figured it out after maybe 4 times.

Now when I see a tantrum coming, I offer hugs first, tell her it's okay to be upset and ask her if she'd like to stay sweet with me or go cry for a minute. USUALLY she'll pick one or the other (it's so adorable when she chooses to go to her room. she pouts the whole way, cries for about 30 seconds and returns). Sometimes I have to go back to the "lets go cry in Mia's room" but the tantrums are far fewer now than before.

For more great hints, I HIGHLY recommend "Parenting with Love and Logic by Cline and Fay."

The happiest toddler on the block was pretty good too, it gave me a great understanding of where my daughter is coming from. However I found the todlereese to be bizarre, and never worked with my daughter...

I am afraid there isnt a cure for the terrible twos, there is just survival. Its great he wants to be independent and you are doing great by encouraging him. If it turns out that he cant do it, try to encourage him to let you help, like saying, "here let me show you how to do it". Do this as many times as you can. And if he cant do it, try not to say, here let me just do it. That makes it harder on him, after all his goal is to be independent! ;) The easy-up idea is a good one too. Good Luck!!

sometimes it's just the battle of who's will is stronger. Stay the course. if he wants to put his pants on, why not try pull ups.

My daughter is very much "i do it all myself". When she does throw a tantrum, I get up and walk away. that usually ends it as now she doesn't have an audience. They say that sometimes trying to talk them through just prolongs it in the long run.

My son is 2 1/2 and is going through the EXACT same thing. It is so awesome that he wants to do it but it is driving me insane!! I dont have any advice bc I am looking for some myself, however I just want you to know that I feel your pain!! :)

If he is being that independent about his diaper, start potty training. I have a 2 1/2 year old and started back in April. He thinks it is so cool that he can "DO IT" all be himself.

I also have a 2yr old "I do it" and we use pull-ups. She can put them on herself, or stay standing to have me help her. They are more expensive than diapers, however worth every penny to me when I don't have to struggle with her, or have her have a tantrum.

Just wondering if you have tried buy Pampers Easy-Ups so that he can help out with his own diaper. That is what I had to do for my little girl.

LOL, this sounds like my almost-2-yr-old. He has a trantrum because he doesn't want his diaper back on, he wants to go potty... except I'm changing his diaper because he just went and he never goes after that. So he sits on the potty for maybe 10 minutes, does nothing, but has a fit if I want to put his diaper on. So when he starts saying he wants to go potty during a diaper change, I say "Do you want to go potty OR do you want to play with your puzzles (or whatever)?" He always picks the other thing and I get to avoid 10 pointless minutes. Then we work on potty training at other times.

I absolutely see where your coming from, my response is one of those "the grass is always greener on the other side" answers. I am sure your situation is VERY frustrating, but be glad you will probably have a very capable little boy soon, after all his practice, LOL My son is almost 5 and never wants to try anything new, always says he can't do it, gives up right away. He won't bath himself REALLY good, he wants mom or dad to do it. Same with brushing his teeth, zipping up and buttoning his pants, everything! My son is very DEPENDANT. Buy your son some pull ups and let him put on his own diaper ;) Get velcro shoes, get him an electric toothbrush :)

he might be ready for pull ups then, he just sounds like he is advanced try pulls ups they are faster anyway!
good luck let me know how he likes that.
J.