I Don't like My Son's Nursery School Teacher!!

I don't know that I really have an answer for you, but just wanted to offer support as I picked my 3 year old daughter up from preschool today and she was bawling. I have a similar view of the teacher as you do and was also concerned about my daughter being able to conquer her shyness. I think, though, if your son says he likes it and seems happy when he talks about school, you should probably just give it time and see if the teacher warms up at all. My daughter said she doesn't want to go back, so I'm not sure what to do. Anyway, good luck.

I can totally relate. My 3 yr old just started preschool and unfortunaltely when I drop him off and pick him, none of his teachers are there. I had questions for them..like is he eating his lunch, how is the potty thing going, etc etc....Well no matter who I asked no one knew anything. Finally I made it a point to pick him up during nap time, got to speak to his teacher. Luckily my son's teacher seems great. But I can relate to unfriendly cold teachers because my oldest has had plenty of those.

The only advice I can give you is speak your mind. This is your child. You have a right to be concerned. Give him a week to adjust because my son's teacher told me that it takes them a few weeks to settle in and get comfortable. My son would not even try the activities the other kids were doing. He would sit there and admire them like he wanted to engage but would say "I cant" to his teacher. She told me give it time... So I tell you the same...give it a week or 2, then peak in the classroom again and see. Then schedule some 1 on 1 time with his teacher and talk to her. Tell her your concerns and feelings. Do not hold back. Remember you peeked in the window for a few minutes, for all you know he was engaged after you stopped looking. That is what is hard about sending our kids off to school. You just don't know. How does your son seem in the morning before school? How does he seem after school? He may be shy because it's a new environment.

If after yoou spek to her you see she is still uncaring or doesnt seem interested then go talk to her boss....

Let's give the teacher the benefit of the doubt...she may have been exhausted with all the kids, she is probably having every parent ask the same thing about their own kids or maybe she really didn't think you were concerned. Next time you ask her follow it up with another question and dig for answers. Thats what I did with my son's teachers. Ia sked questions till I was satisfied. I am not saying she isnt uncaring, maybe she is, but the only way to determine this is to investigate further.

I know alot of my concerns are also alot of my own insecurities. I think I was more nervous than my son was to start school. When I look back at when my oldest started, I laugh. I even went as far as to call his school back then to check on him. Now I am just letting things flow with my 2nd.

Does your school have a back 2 school night? If so maybe that can give you the opportunity to voice your concerns.....whatever you do give your son at least a few days to adjust and then speak to the teacher.

Trust me..this is the easy part. Wait till they are 8 and give you attitude 24 hrs a day and do stupid things in school. I wish I could keep them in preschool forever! :)

Know that you aren't slone...we all experience similar issues with preschool. It does get easier but it never gets less stressful. Speak your mind and tell the teacher what you want.

Let us know how it goes.

Linda
Work at Home 4 Your Family not your Boss!
www.workathome4yourfamily.com

Hey if you don't like her, and don't feel confortable wiht the situation, then find a new place. There are many nursery schools. And It is up to you to surround your son with people that go along wiht your oparenting style. Sure you son likes it kids always do, after the short adjustment period, however if you are not confortable with her style then I woauld say look for another place!

Hi S., Is this your first child? That thought came to mind. Are you paying for the nursery?

I've seen this happen at my neices after care.. but worse. What I've found is it's a "one size fits all" mentality & they seem to "not have time" to give individual attention. The 'bullies' or 'wild' kids take all their energy allot of times.

If she's not interested? Theres nothing you can do to "make" her care.. she is who she is & so I strongly suggest (especially if you're paying) to look for another place OR if she's simply an "employee"? speak to whoever is in 'charge'.
Chances are she's not nice to all the kids or doesn't care about any. This is clearly the WRONG job for her! That really burns me up.. why take the job?

Now if it was only ONE day maybe she was having a bad day. I suggest FIRST? talk to her on a personal level.. ask her if she's married, have kids? etc. I once read in these self-help books that "people like to talk about themself" so maybe that will get the ball rolling. Be honest.. tell her since she's w/your son all day of course you're interested in who she is!

Observe for a week or two TOPS.. again, maybe just a bad day. But I suggest, again, ask her superiors 'who' she is & what her backround is.

It's a low paying job (no doubt) you HAVE to like children to do it .. if she doesn't.. it's a bad experience for all. This will have an affect on him going forward-- he'll NOT want to go to Kindergarten. . Explain to her SHE is his first LiTTLE experience & she will form & mold his little future w/her behavior! Maybe she needs a wake up call that this is NOT just a "job". Good luck. let me no how it goes.. I'm routing for you.

Does your son's class have an assistant teacher as well as a head teacher? If so, I would try and speak to the assistant and see what her opinion is regarding your son socializing and enjoying himself in class.

Also, I would try peeking in on the class at different times during his time there. It may be that he just needs more time to warm up to the class and kids but once he does he might be having a great time.

If neither of these helps I would then go to the preschool director with your concerns. If he/she isn't helpful I would definitely pull your son out of the school. It's important for both your son and you to feel comfortable with the school. You're the mom, don't underestimate your "gut feelings". I've found in the past my "gut" always seems to be right.

Good luck!

Hopefully you caught her on an off day. I suggest setting up an appointment for a "parent-teacher" conference and addressing your concerns. Be patient, change doesn't happen overnight, but she should be responsive.

If that doesn't get you anywhere go over her head to her supervisor (director of the daycare facility, principal of the school, etc.) You are more likely to get attention if you focus on this as a developmental issue for your child and not a personality issue with the teacher.

Good luck!

is this school one where he could possibly have another teacher? if so, i would talk to someone about that. tell them how you feel about the teacher, that you feel it's ok for the kids that don't have the problem your son does, but for your son, you would prefer he have a teacher that will help him warm up to the class. some kids are just shy, and need the help to warm up and i'm sure that they understand that (maybe not his teacher, but other teachers). but if he says he likes it there, i'm sure he's ok.

I teach 3 year olds and that is the LAST way I would behave. Is she curt every day? Maybe she was distracted and keeping an eye on another child when you asked the question? Is she the only teacher? My co-teacher and I split up the kids in ways that we handle each one. I'm usually the one they can get a hug out of and the one they want to snuggle with and have read a story. My co-worker is more academic so maybe that's the teacher's style. I would ask her when you can talk to her without kids around and just express your concerns again about socialization. If that doesn't work I'd speak with the program director and see what they say. It might just be a miscommunication but it's something you want to clear up now and not have to bear all year. :)

FD

I would definitely find another school. I am still regretting sending my daughter to a pre-school where her teacher was just as you described. For 2 years I kept her there because she assured me that she loved it. It wasn't until she started a new school, that she began telling me some of the things her teacher did. For instance, yelling at the kids when they needed to go to the bathroom if they were out on the playground! These were 2-3 year old children at the time. Oh the guilt I have for being so stupid...and I am a former pre-school & elementary school teacher. Good luck to you.

I work in daycares and preschools. this is not normal and i would pull my child out right away. who knows what the teacher does with them all day. we are very warm and caring with the kids, always giving hugs and having conversations with them all day.

You should defiently look into other places. someone who maybe is a bit nicer to your child and interested in bridging the gap between school and home by talking to you at every pick up and drop off. We talk to each parent, everytime they walk through the door.

good luck and if you need help looking for places, the director of my school knows a ton all through out CT

Jenna D

I think first and foremost you need to bring this up with the teacher. No matter what, you should have the right to feel like the teacher is at the very least approachable. After all she is your sons caregiver while you are not there. You should be able to feel like you can talk to her and ask her qestions and get the respect you deserve as a parent of one of the kids in her class. Good luck. :)