I Don't like My Sons Name

There are lots of people that feel that way. You are not alone. My brother was named David Ryan. My mother was never a huge fan of the name David, and so my brother has always been called Ryan. I know lots of people that go by their middle names.

I don't think you are awful at all-some names just don't fit. Do not hesitate to change it at this point. I felt the same about my sons name and it didn't change to this day-he is 32 years old. Please change it now and explain that it just didn't fit his darling personality.

A., you should change it to Thomas Daniel or something completely different. It isn't that big of a deal. My husband was Nathan for a few months with a twin named Matthew. When people started calling them Matt and Nat my in-laws changed his name to Adam. Some of his documents still say Nathan. But the extended family quickly accepted the name change. I also know someone else who changed her sons name too. He was Christopher and now he is Brandon. I think you should do it now. Who cares what other people think. If you keep correcting them, it won't take them long to start calling him a different name. Names are important. My kids always get complimented on their names and it makes them feel good. On the other hand, I hated my name my whole life and would have changed it as a kid if I had had the opportunity. Let us know what you decide.

Lots of people go by their middle name or a nick name. It is ok!

Guess what? My parents changed my name when I was 2 months old! That's right. I also had all that stuff- birth certificate, SSN, church blessing, etc. Doesn't matter- you can still change it and it's not a big deal. Trust me.

Better to do it now than later. I'm fine with it. I still have my first birth certificate and the second one I got when they changed my name, stapled to it. Did I know any better as a two-month-old? 'Course not.

I doesn't matter what other people think. This is between you, your husband and your son. Right now your son doesn't care and so if it bothers you guys, change it. I say go for the name change. We had tons of relatives and they all adjusted quickly and no one's even mentioned it to me through my life, except when my parents have told me about it and I'm 33 years old now. Sounds like you'll feel better about it through his life if you just do it now.

Good luck!

For heaven's sake , change his name! or at least give him a nickname that you like. You are going to stigmatize this boy by disliking his name. You won't be able to pass on the great love you have for him if you can't even say his name. do you like "Danny"? If you dislake that , too, then pick a name you do like and just tell everyone you gave him a nickname. Please don't bring this baby up with a harbored dislike for something as personal as his name!

I have a friend that just changed her daughters name after almost a year and it was not that big of an issue, she just had to go to the courthouse and change her birth certificate and I'm sure if you explain at your church they could either rebless him or if you have a certificate just get a new one with his new name. My husband and I had a name for my son thru the whole pregnancy and when we saw him we realized the name was all wrong and I'm so glad we realized and decided on a differant name, I say go for it and change his name now while he is still to young to know

My mom was named Wilma and when she was about five everyone said it was too old a name for a little girl and every one started calling her Susie, because that is what she looked like. My mom grew up as Susie never knew her self as Wilma and later got in some trouble with the IRS and other legal entities and went and had Susie added to her name. This could be an option for you to keep Daniel Thomas and add another name - it would be a hassle but if you both don't like the name change it who cares. Life is too short to be upset over something that can be changed. Take it easy on yourself, you love your son no matter what you call him.

Hi A. - trust me you are not a terrible mom. If you are going to change his name legally, NOW is the time before he starts school, etc. It happens all the time. You will need to submit a name change affidavit for Social Security. Another option is to just give him a nickname in the meantime until he can choose for himself. God will understand too - God has his own name picked out for your son and recognizes him no matter what.

A friend of my named her son Everett and then decided it just didnt fit and changed his name to Devon. It wasnt a big deal at all.

Hello,
why don't you just use his middle name instead? My mom used her middle name when she introduced herself to people, her first & middle name was Clara Elaine, she just used Elaine. I have a nephew thats name is William Travis & we all call him Travis.

Heck, I was 10 years old before I knew my given 1st name was C. everybody called me Dee, a nick name that my dad gave me.

Good luck & have a great day

Oh, no! True confessions! I had this problem with one of my boys, too - he was the 4th son in a row and we were out of boy names! LOL! Anyway, I started playing name games when I held him - like the song - Danny, Danny bo banny banana fana fo fanny . . .or singing lullabyes inserting his name - "you are my Daniel, my only Daniel" . . .If you really have decided you prefer Thomas, just start calling him that in front of everyone - no explanation necessary. He is your son, call him what you like, and others will follow. :)

one of my brothers had his name changed twice before he was 1 yr old!! you mentioned you feel funny b/c he's already two months - but it's great that he's ONLY two months, if you want to make a change!
if you don't want much of a hassle...then call him by his middle name (all of my brothers AND another set of boys in our family all go by middle names) - -
or, do you like the sound of his initials or anything??
you have options... and you and your husband can decide what's best for your son and your family - don't worry about what other people think! the baby is so young that things will blow over before you know it!
good luck!

A.,

I had almost the same situation that you do but with me it was the last name. See I had gone through a divorce and both my daughter and I were still my married last name I had to wait a whole year to change our names back to my maiden name because I had to wait to see if my ex was going to respond to child support and luckily he did not so I was able to get my last name back and give my daughter the same last name as myself but I also terminated my ex's rights to his own daughter at the same time as I changed her last name.

I also had her christaned with the last name as well but my church was very supportive and changed all of the christened paperwork when it was finalized. So I believe that any church would be willing to help you out when it comes to name changes and christened the old name so I say if your gut says change the name on your son then change your son's name don't be sorry about that name and do what Nike slogan says "Just Do It."

I hope this helped you.

A. M.

I am 28 and have been called a different name my whole life. I was born Katherine Rosean LeGrand Whipple. Rosean LeGrand are actually two middle names. My family felt Katherine was to grown up for a little girl and called me R. from the get go. I felt growing up that it was kind of cool having a secret first name that hardly any one else knew.
The only time it gets confusing is when on official calls me by my first name (new doctor, DMV, my insurance companies) and I barely respond because that is not what I call myself. I still prefer R. to Katherine as I think it is more fun and sweet. I hope this helps you and good luck.

Since he's only two months old, even though you have his ss# and everything-I would consider changing his name. Personally, I like the name Daniel, but if you and your husband don't, you'll have a lifetime of not liking it. Give it so much thought, stare at him, call him different names and see what clicks--then take the plunge and change it. It may be a big hassle, but may be worth it to you.

OR--you may just grow to like it. We named my son after my husband's grandfather. I wasn't crazy about his name, but I also didn't dislike it. Now I LOVE his name and can't imagine anything different. His name is Jack.

Good luck to you! Please let us know what you decide.

Hi A.,

I have two stories: My MIL was named Patricia Sue. It was on her birth certificate and everything. A few months later, her mom decided to change her name and had it officially changed to Wendie. Everyone in the family knows the story.

My friend named her son after her husband's late brother. She doesn't like the name, so she calls him a nickname, and everyone else does, too. So you don't have to change your son's name - just call him something else.

Oh! And my grandpa's name was Randall - he hated it. Everyone called him Pete, his entire life. And that's not his middle name or anything either.

Marci

My aunt had pressure from her husband to name her oldest-Flood. She HATED the name. Forever she called him baby. She always tells me when he was a baby he started crying and I came running to her and said-Aunt Janet, Floody is crying. She said after that she was always able to call him Flood.

I am sorry, but I don't have much to tell you, but he is still young so I think if you wanted to change to Tomas I don't think it would be a problem. I know it would be a hassle, but he is so young it would work. I know a lot of people who go by their middle names.

Another little story: My oldest brother was know as Jamie for a long time. Then around came another boy named Jamie and my brother was determined not to have that name and told my mom-I don't want to be Jamie any more I want to be James. It took a while, but they worked it out.

Good luck with what you decide to do!

Oh, I agree. If there is an alternate name out there, you will find it. I had a friend who's name is "Florbella" or "Beautiful Flower". She is short, skinny, full of freckles, and as tom-boyish as they come! She doesn't go by FLorbella, she goes by Checka (xecha). And it fits. My own mom is a "Margaret" and goes by "Midge," and my son is Benjamin, and goes by "Bear."

If there is an alternate out there in the universe that will better suit your son, you will find it. People will hear you say it, and that will be his name. Hang in there in the meantime, and snuggle your Bugaboo.

I recently learned that "Daniel" means, "God is my Judge." I always thought that sounded a little scary, but this interpretation was that God is my protector, God will take care of me if someone else wrongs me--that kind of judge. It made me like the name more. Since he's been Christened and you've got through all that, I'd keep it as is, but call him Thomas if it feels better to you. One of my best friend's was "Keith," Christened "Allen Keith." His father was "Allen," christened,"Michael Allen." His Grandfather was "Michael," again, a middle name. It was a whole family tradition of calling the first son by his middle name! Blessings!

he's only 2 months old. unless they're close family or friends, most people probably can't even remember what you named him because they haven't interacted much with him. it's not too late to call him something different, or even to change his name legally. i know it sounds harsh, but so much of the early years are not even remembered. i'm realizing that more and more now that my oldest is 6 and can't remember major events that happened before he was 3. when my friend's parents found out there would be another girl in her kindergarten class with the same name, they decided to call their daughter by her middle name to avoid confusion for all her school years. she has several older siblings, but it didn't take long for even them to call her by her middle name. her first name became kind of a special nickname only certain family members used on occasion. i have another friend who legally changed her name when she turned 18 because she'd never felt like the name fit her. she chose the name of a famous person she admired. go ahead and change it if you want to! you don't have to feel embarrassed or uncomfortable about your original choice. i've been considering changing the spelling of my son's middle name. i think it has too many vowels in it. :)

My daughter was named after her aunt and my son was named after his uncle, but we introduce them by their middle names. And to make things more interesting we call them Munchkin and Punkin at home. They both know their full names, but are happy to go by their nicknames.

You might consider a nickname to use until you grow to like Daniel or decide on a name that you like better or you could even wait until your son was old enough to help decide. I know someone who was called "Pony" all through her childhood and actually changed her name to that when she was older.

Don't feel bad! There were only two girl names in the world that I liked, and I have three daughters. The night before Marilyn was born, I said, "Fine!" I couldn't think of anything else but a combination of her grandmas' names. When she was about two months old, we shortened it to Mary and that's what everyone calls her now and I love it, yes, better than Marilyn. The good thing for you is there are lots of nicknames for the two names you did choose. And if you feel funny telling everyone to call him Thomas, just start doing it yourself and they will catch on. My little boy got called Tuck for a while after he was born and that has absolutely nothing to do with his name...pretty soon he'll have a personality, and whatever you've chosen to call him will probably fit him perfectly, nickname or not.

So 33 years ago, my husband was born. His mother and father agreed to name him Jeremy. Then he was born and while my MIL was resting my husbands dad filled out the birth certificate...and named him Ernst Alfred Jr. By the time my MIL found out there wasnt anything she could do about it. So my husband was stuck with a name that actually means "serious" in German. As a kid he hated it. He was teased and beat up because his name was so "weird". But as he became an adult, he found a better connection with his name. He is one of the most serious people I know. The name fits him well, and he likes it now.
Then we had a son. My husband wanted to pass this name he hated as a kid on to our son. I said no. So we compromised on Corran Ernst. I think it sounded too feminine at first. But my son is now 6 and it seems to fit him better than I first thought it did. My best suggestion is to find something you are comfortable with. My son's nickname is "Dude" and we call him that alot. Maybe you can call him Little D. And he may not be a Daniel right now but some day that name may fit him perfectly. And remember the Eternal perspective on this. There may be an eternal reason why you felt like you should name him Daniel. Good luck and enjoy your boy!

You said in your comments that he looks too feminine for a Daniel, but are you basing that on the fact that he looks like your daughter? My 2 kids looks like spitting images of each other. The older one is a boy, the younger one a girl. If you put their baby pictures at the same ages next to each other the only way to tell them apart are the clothes. But that doesn't stop me from feeling like my daughter is a girl. You may just need to call him by his name a LOT to get used to it. (And I understand the whole naming thing -- we didn't have names for either one of our kids until in the hospital.)
If you really can't stand his name, then call him something else. My grandmother hated what my grandfather named their youngest son. She never used it -- instead she called him something else. And that's what he goes by to this day. It's easier when your name matches your documents, but it doesn't have to.
Good luck to you!

I changed two of my children's names. Before my daughter was born we picked a unique name for her. We called her by that name the whole time I was carrying her. At the hospital we put her name on the birth certificate but without a middle name. After taking her home, we decided that she might one day be unhappy with her unique name so we called the hospital and added a middle name. We figured she could opt to use that name if she ever wanted a change.

My triplets were born just a few weeks before my brother died. We had already named all the babies... After my brother's death, we changed one of the boys names to my brother's name. We had to get an ammended birth certificate and formally change his social security into. But I'm glad we did it. The name suits him.

BTW--my daughter's middle name was unnecessary. At 13 she loves her unique name! I wondered if it was an odd choice, but I'm glad we kept it. It fits her personality and we love it!

I have a Thomas too and I've never liked it. It was my ex-husbands assumed everyone took it family name. So I call my son Toby. Tobias is another form of Thomas and Toby is short for Tobias. It fits a lot better. All of our children have unusual names so it all works out. We call one son "Bu" short for Budda which comes from how I looked when I was pregnant with him, one son is "Little Man" because he came out looking like a little old man, and our little girl we call "Posie" even though her name is Cordelia Rose. They all come to either their formal names or their nicknames. One important thing to know not matter what you call your child, is that they should know their formal name before they start kindergarten. Our second son had never been called by his formal name and didn't answer the teacher for the first two weeks of school. She thought he had been absent and called me to find out where he'd been. It was a little tense before everyone figured out that the extra kid was really the absent kid.

I had to laugh when I saw the name. I was expecting something out there. Turns out it is my son's name! No offense taken. There are three different versions of Daniel - did any of them sound OK?

If not, you have 3 versions of Thomas too. If none of it sounds right, remember you can always do a nickname (think Miley Cyrus - Miley is her nicknane but that is what they always called her). You could go more official, but I'd wait until you are comfortable with a name for sure. I doubt you would scar him at this point by changing your mind, especially if he doesn't hear you say it much.

Good luck in your decision.
Take care,
S.

You are not a horrid mom. Sometimes names can be tricky. We pick out the names and then they don't seem to fit after the fact. I wanted to name my daughter Rose, but her Dad didn't like that so its the middle name. We found a first name that we both could agree on but it didn't feel right for awhile. So for the first part of her life, I mostly called her by my little names. Pumpkin, my love, sweet pea. As she got older her name fit and I know Rose would of been the wrong name for her. So if you don't like the name, don't sweat it. It doesn't make you a bad mom. If you like Thomas then use it. Ultimately your son will go with the name he likes. ( my sister swore her son would always be Joshua, but he as a teenager picks Josh) My MIL and her sisters all go by their middle names, so I am betting using your little boy's middle name is not that strange. If anyone asks just tell them that Thomas fits him and I am betting your family will catch on. Best of wishes to you.

So this isn't the same but kind of I guess. My name is Cesaria (after my great grandmother she died one month before I was born and my mom named me it in honor of her.) I was never called Cesaria I grew up being called Cessi (I know pretty close to the same) but I don't think I even knew the name Cesaria until I was in my teens because my grandmother told me about it. I never even really thought about it and went by Cessi until I was in my mid 20's then I wanted a change in my life and started going by Cesaria. Growing up my parents put cessi on everything school papers, my first drivers license and the funny thing is that I have a harder time changing it back to Cesaria (which is on my birth certificate) that they had just calling me Cessi. I don't think it is to late to pick a nick name or call him Thomas he'll never know and he can always change it later.
P.S my brother, sister and parents still call me Cessi they say it's weird to hear Cesaria.

I hope you don't think you are a terrible mother for not liking your son's name. It's not an easy decision that we make for ourselves and our children, and we make the decision before we've even really met them or gotten to know what kind of little person they are. I think it's fairly common for parents to feel the way you do.
If you don't feel comfortable doing a formal name change, then my recommendation is that you and your husband come up with a nick-name for Daniel. Pick one that fits with his personality and one that you can enjoy.
Many parents have nick-names for their kids that have nothing to do with their actual given name. My sister's name is Dawn, but my Mom calls her Suki. It's like a second unofficial name.
Try it on and see.
And know you are not alone.
My best to you.

Honestly, I think it's ok to change your son's name if that's what you and your husband want to do. People might think it's weird, but it'll blow over and soon it will be as if his name was never Daniel in the first place. :)

I have a friend who changed her son's name when he was 2 1/2. He was named Solomon, and then his mom found out that King Solomon in the Bible, whom her son was named after, was wicked at the end of his life. She was horrified that she'd named her son after him, and changed his name. At first I thought it was weird, but now it's just normal. His name just isn't Solomon anymore.

I agree with some of the posts you have already. I had the same problem only with my daughter (I have a son) and I was just feeling strange about having a girl so no name sounded right but you have to have one before you leave the hospital. So we went with one that I liked but didn't feel right with. And now we have a nickname that I call her all the time. I worry that she will go to school not knowing her name either but I throw it in every so often so she has at least heard it...but its not the full version of her name. And you may want to do that too...come up with a nickname not having anything to do with his name - in our house we have a bear, and an animal :) And since you feel weird about changing his name now push the nickname and he may grow into his given name. Besides you are naming a man not a baby.

Actually, you can easily change his name. The only thing holding you back is tradition and social worries. If you changed it today, everyone will have completely forgotten about this in a few years.

I named one daughter Olivia,, then called her Libby, then called her Liberty. I desperately wanted to change her name to Liberty. I didn't. I should have. She's ten now, and she's 100% a "Liberty". Go for it!

OK, here is a thought...why not a nickname. Danny will work instead of the formal Daniel. Or how about watching his personality for a nickname thats fits. My grandfather's name was Vernon. No one ever called him Vernon. Everyone called him "Doc". No he was not a Doctor. He just took care of other people so his mom called him Doc one day and it took. His whole life from the time he was 2 until his death EVERYONE called him Doc. Good luck.

I really wondered for a while if I had made a mistake in naming my son. I wasn't sure if I liked it, I just couldn't think of anything better. I worried about it for several months. Now the kiddo is 16 months, and the name is perfect (Dorian). So maybe he will grow into it, and you will too. But I like the suggestions of coming up with a nickname that you feel more comfortable with. Lots of kids go by something different than their actual name.

My daughter's first name is Hailey, which is so common. I like the name, but I am kinda sick of it! Her middle name is Sunshine and so when she was about 6 months old I started calling her Sunny and that's who she is now. You can change what you call him any time you want! You could call him Dan, Danny, D, Thomas, Tommy, Tom, or give him another nickname! I know lots of kids who go by nicknames. My family got used to it pretty quickly when I changed what I call my daughter. It's up to you, so have fun with it! Nothing to be ashamed of in wanting to switch it up a bit!

You aren't a bad mom. I thought naming my kids was so stressful! I like the name. Maybe consider calling him Danny? Danny sounds like a kids' name. If you want to call him Thomas, do it.

My son's best friend's mom did that. I cant remember at what age, it must have been when he was a new baby, but his parents changed his name. He was named Daniel but they changed it to David. I think you would regret NOT doing it later on, especially if it bugs you now. Or maybe just call him by his middle name like your husband suggested. Good luck!

I didn't get a chance to read all the replies, so sorry if this is repeating anything.
You are not a bad mother. Names are hard. I rarely use my son's full name, not because I don't like it, it just doesn't suit him yet. Have you tried Danny, Dan, Tommy? You guys can call him anything that you want. You can change his name, or keep it as Daniel and use a nickname. The rest of the family doesn't HAVE to use it. We announced our son as Jakob, yet called him Jack from the second he was born. Our family realized that we were using Jack as a nickname and most have caught on, but some still prefer Jakob. The only thing we requested was no Jake (didn't want a certain family member to think that we named him after her son). When he gets old enough, he can decide for himself if he wants to be Jack, Jakob, or even Jake, but for now, and for us, it is Jack, and it suits him so well!

I was litening to a Dr. Laura show one day and this one particular caller I will never forget... She called in saying she too disliked her sons name. Telling Dr. Laura that she felt like a horrible mom and basically saying what you are feeling.... Dr. Laura told her that it didnt matter what her son was "called" his name was just a name. You could call him "snookey" or some silly name for all... The only true name that meant anything was MOMMY!!!I teared up at this moment and its so true... our kids, even us adults, dislike our names from time to time, Im sure that your son will grow into is name or whatever you decide to call him! =) Just remember youre not a bad mom and you can call you child anything, its what he calls you(mommy) is what matters!

A.,

You could change his name. However, I think that Daniel is a wonderful name. My first baby was a boy and we named him Christopher. People used to say his name all funny and I felt awkward too for a while. He is now called just Chris. Don't compare your son with your daughter. He will grow into his name despite what you feel right now. Also, you are still getting over the birth of your son. Hormones are horrible at this time.

I say change it so you aren't forever resentful of his name. THAT will give the poor kid a complex as he gets older. =) I think people will understand more than you think they will. Even legally change it. A bit of a hassle but not that big of a deal. You'll fee much better about it. And your son will have a great story to tell one day!

Have you ever read the book Stargirl by Jerry Spinelli. The girl decides her name is too common, Susan, and changes it because she doesn't feel like a Susan. If you don't think your son feels like a Daniel, then change it, its not too late, he doesn't even know his name yet.

Before my second son was born we had decided that his name was going to be Pacey whether he was a boy or a girl, Pacey Sean for a boy and Pacey Anna for a girl, well it was a boy and I had second thoughts at two months as well, now I love his name, in a way I always did, its very original and we get complimented on it all the time. As I look back now, I realize that it was really a hormonal thing that I was going through and I got over it. I have asked him several times about his name because it is so different if he would like to use his middle name and he said maybe in the future he would use Sean. I leave it up to him now. I know what you mean though and you are not alone and not a terrible mother, but you may just be hormonal right now.

BUT....I have a friend whose kids are all named after relatives and go by their middle names and have never used their first names except on SSN and birth certificates and other legal documents. It sounds bizarre at first but it really isn't, its just a title that people call us. I also know kids who have 4 or 5 given names and switch between them. And I also know someone who have 3 given names and goes by none of them, his name is William James Edward and goes by Jim, go figure. The point is, he got used to it and so will everyone else including your son, the best part, he won't remember the name switcheroo. If he wants to use Daniel in the future then that can be his choice. I recommend the book Stargirl, good read! If you don't like the name you have chosen then by all means, pick another one! No harm done... If the family asks you could tell them that you wanted to try out his middle name for a while, but it really is not at all uncommon and absolutely NOTHING to feel ashamed of.
Congrats on your new little boy

I totally understand where you are coming from. While my feelings are not as strong as yours, I am sorely disappointed in our name choice as well. I had NEVER heard of anyone naming their child the name I chose. EVER!! In all sincerity, I have a unique name, and felt very strongly about my child having one too. Seems common enough, I know, but I had never known of an "Emerson" before. You can imagine how infuriated I was to learn that not only was it becoming common, but for GIRLS. (Something I find completely idiotic by the way - it is EmerSON after all) So I seriously considered changing it, but my husband said no.

So here we are. I actually like the name of course, but not the commonality of it, or the use of it for girls. I have never been a nickname type, but many have suggested nick names for him that could stick (my favorite so far being Sonny, which I could go with but for that sad song Sonny Boy). My husband is named John Christopher and his parents called Him Chris his whole life, and he grew up HATING that. It drives him nuts that his name is not his first name and it's confusing to everyone who doesn't know him and needs to verify his ID. So, I wouldn't recommend that route.
I think Daniel is a fairly feminine name anyway, since it sounds pretty darn close to Danielle, so I am not following you there.
I empathize and wish you teh best of luck. I am sure you can settle on a nick name for him that you will love.
Good luck!

I agree with the other moms on this too. Considering he is so young, everyone will forget about all this in a couple of years. In fact, one of my husband's brothers (named Brook) went by his middle name once Brooke Shileds became famous. His mom was a little concerned abut him being teased. He went by his middle name for almost his entire childhood in school. Once he turned 21, he announced that he felt Brook was a great name for him. I knew him by both names and the funny thing is that I only picture him as "Brook" now. Hope that's not too confusing. My point is that after awhile, people get used to any name. You don't need to go into any details with family and friends, just simply tell them that your son looks more like a (insert name) to you. Good luck!

He'll grow into it. In the meantime, find a good nickname that you like:
Dannyboy
Dan
Danny
Neil
Tom
Tommy
Baby D or Baby T
DD
or something totally unrelated to his actual name. It'll be fine.

.....we call my boy Jbear but when he grows up, he'll use his more adult name. As for telling everyone, nicknames are normal - esp if the kid has a very adult name.

Also, my brother has gone by his middle name his whole life. Aside from having to correct substitute teachers, it's never been a problem.

It is not too late too change his name. It would be better for him to have his mom calling him an endearing name. Than for you too not call him a name or cringe. Lots of people use middle names , when he gets older he would just sign D. Thomas. If you don't like Thomas then maybe consider his initials( whats your last name). Good luck, S.

I know how you feel. I went though the same thing with my almost 2 month old Benjamin. My husband really liked the name but i didn't, the name felt right so we went with it. When he was born he did not look like a benjamin to me, but i still decided to go with it. after a little while though it did click and he became a Benjamin to me too. So dont give up it may just take a while.

Sounds like a similar struggle I've had! We picked my daughter's name in the hospital, and it wasn't well thought out (couldn't come up with one, so was hoping we'd have a boy). Afterwards I wished I'd included my deceased mom's middle name attached to her first name, but my husband wouldn't let me change it because "she is who she is". Well, I kept my maiden name after marriage and thought about changing it after daughter was born, but hey "I am who I am, right?".

My point is, people regularly change their names or versions of their names. Change it if you don't like it, or use his middle name. There's nothing funny about using a middle name - people do it all the time. Some people just ignore their first name in casual situations (not when filling out official forms), or they shorten their first name to an initial and use their middle name. Call him "daniel thomas" for a little while, and then drop the daniel. he won't notice, I promise, and others will catch on. Does Dan or Danny sit better with you? I started calling my daughter by her first name and my mom's middle name, and others picked up on it and started using it (even tho I never officially changed it - I've since gotten over it and now it's just a "nickname"). My friend wanted to be called Sue instead of Susan, and just asked people when they used the name Susan to call her Sue instead. You don't need to make a formal announcement - tell people you prefer to call him by Thomas as it comes up.

Everyone might think you're a little odd to completely change his first name, but if you really don't like it, do it now while you can. 8 weeks is a very small fraction of his life. You'll never be able to change it when he gets older.

Congratulations on your baby! And don't worry - I'm sure either name will grow on you as you come to associate him and his cute little ways with his name.

Traditionally, the remedy for a disliked name is a nickname! It was especially helpful if the baby girl HAD to be named after her great-aunt Prunella, or the boy after some obscure Civil War general.

Seriously, your son isn't going to mind if you start calling him by his middle name instead of his first name; at two months old, he isn't even going to notice! This is the time to play around with names. And if you want to call him Thomas or Tommy, you can say, "We're playing around with that right now." But you could give your boy a nickname if you like. When he's old enough, he might give himself one.

My father-in-law was named William Dwight, but for some reason he didn't like that; when he was old enough he went to court and changed it - to Dwight William. Then he was happy. Go figure.

Keep in mind that the child makes the name; the name doesn't make the child. Despite the "boy named Sue" business, there are plenty of Daniels and Harriets and Marys (that's me) and Homers who changed other people's minds about their given names because they turned out to be such wonderful people themselves.

Hi A.,
I loved, loved, loved the name Natalie when my daughter was born...but my husband didn't. We agreed on Sofia and for several months after she was born I kept thinking "She looks like a Natalie" but I didn't tell anyone and like you I never called her by her name for a long time. Now, she is almost 3 and I would never think of her as anything but my Sofia. She grew into her name and learned it just fine. I am thinking as he grows his name will just fit. For now enjoy calling him "snugglebunny, lovey", whatever nicknames you like and sometime his name will make sense. Maybe you will stumble across a shortened version of his name or another name he can go by. A lot of people are called other things than their given name. You are a great mom for caring so much about your son. Hang in there! ;0)

There is nothing wrong by using his middle name as what he is mainly known by. I also don't think that you should be so hard on yourself. Naming a child is not always an easy thing.

Two months old is not too late to start calling him by his middle name, especially since you rarely call him by his first name anyway! It is not uncommon for someone to go primarily by their middle name.

As far as your family, I think it is perfectly acceptable to tell them that you and your husband agree that your son looks more like a Tom or Thomas than a Dan or Daniel, and so you would appreciate it if they would use his middle name instead.

Your son will most likely begin to look more masculine as he gets older. He may also decide later on in life that he prefers Daniel, and he can always go back to that if he prefers. I knew someone who went by her middle name all through elementary school and junior high, then when she got to high school she started using her first name instead. It really wasn't that big of a deal actually!

Bottom line is, he is only two months old and you are the parents and the ones that decide what he should be called as he grows and begins to identify with his name. Do what works for you and don't worry about anyone else! :)

A.,
I have some consoling words for you:) I think if you have a name you like better go for it. I know a mom who changed her two year olds name because she got divorced and the name was one the phycho dad had picked. She never liked it and she didn't want to be reminded of him. Your story is not so extreme, but the point is, if you and your husband both don't like it, change it.
I have gone by my middle name since birth, and it has been fine for me. I actually know quite a few people that do too. So to call him Thomas I think would be fine. How to switch with family from Daniel to Thomas is easy... Just use his full name, "Daniel Thomas" when ever you write it down, and then call him both in front of relatives and then just call him Thomas. They will catch on, no need to "inform" them. If they question "who is Thomas?" "Just say Daniel Thomas, I like to call him Thomas" and leave it at that. I love to use my kids full names and first and second by themselves all the time. In fact my friends all tease me that it sounds like I have 8 kids instead of 4 :) I personally like the name Daniel, I have a wonderful brother in law with that name, he goes by Dan with friends and Daniel with family.
But if you have a completely different name that you like it is not that difficult to change, it just takes some time and money. You don't even need to do it right away. you could just call him the name you want and then once you feel like you are not overwhelmed with "new" baby things, then you could work on it.
One of my kids birth certificates came with the wrong spelling, so I had to do this whole process myself. Just call the SS and your state birth record office and they can tell you what to do. If you need to find the number, a great resource is the hospital or city offices.
As for the Blessing, if you are talking about the LDS church, it is not an ordinance. It technically doesn't even need to happen for your child's name to be on record. All you need to do is fill out a form that has the birth date and the name of your child and the parents. So to change it would be very similar. Just talk to your ward clerk fill out the paper work and he will do the rest.
I just remembered two more families that I know who didn't even pick their babies names for two and three months. One called her "little no name", which got shortened to "Linone"(say it like your French) and then they filled out her paper work to make it legal. The other just called him Baby for three months until they could find the right name, which I can't remember right now. So believe me you are not alone in this quest.
I think you sound like a wonderful mother who cares about what is in a name. I would not hesitate to do what you and your husband feel needs to happen. So for starters just call him the name you want then change it with the church then change it with the state then change his social. You can do this if it is something you really want, it is possible!
Good luck
E.

We named our first Allyson, and I never said her name without the middle name until her first checkup. Thats when I heard it ... Alyson Nelson (son at the end of each). I wished I had named her something else for a few months anyway - Alice or something.
But she grew into her name. We decided to call her by her given name until she was old enough to pick a nick-name. Some friends call her Ally, but mostly it's still just Allyson (or Al). Now I look at her and can't imagine any other name. She's 11.

Maybe you can give him a nick-name. Dan or Danny are the obvious ones. Or you can start calling him Tom or Thomas (it's easier now to change everyone's thinking that in a couple years). Or for now, just call him sweet boy or baby - we did a lot of that too, with all our kids, and still do sometimes.

I can't say that I didn't like my daughter's name, but I did have to get used to it and I wondered if we'd made a mistake. I kept accidentally calling her the wrong name! Plenty of kids have nicknames that they go by all the time - a friend of mine was Peanut to nearly everyone in her world for many, many years. Good luck and I wish you peace with it, whatever your decision.

You aren't a terrible mother. It is possible he will grow into his name as he gets a little older. If you're going to start calling him by his middle name, I'd start now, since older would be harder, and you might want to ease into it by calling him "Daniel Thomas" before going straight to "Thomas".

My ex's name is "Daniel" and he was very feminine, but it really fit him. No other name would have worked for him.

Remember that most kids hate their names, so make sure that you don't let your son catch your vibes about his name. He didn't get to choose it, so the least you can do is pretend you like it. :P You could always give him a Nickname that has nothing to do with his name. You could call him DT maybe? or D.

FYI, I didn't care for my son's name either. :\ "Julian" I was going for unique. I wanted Jadus, but our families were so against it, and Daniel had said he didn't know anyone named Julian. After we'd named him and brought him home, I got to meet one of Daniel's cousins, who was named Julian, then I found out about Julian McMahon...etc. Since then the number of Julians seems to have blossomed.

I asked Daniel about changing his name, now that he's older, but he said no. So this is what it will be, and the name has grown on me. My JJ wouldn't be anyone else, but no other name would be the same for him. It fits.

I think it is perfectly fine to call him by his middle name. My husband and his dad have both gone by their middle names most of their lives. If you like it more go for it.

First, you are not a terrible mom! It is such a hard decision coming up with a name for your baby that he/she will have forever. If you want to change it to something that fits him more, go for it. My mom changed my name when I was a year and a half. I was named after my father, Randy, and when they divorced she changed it to R.. I can't remember being called Randy and honestly I am glad my mom changed it. I dont like the name Randy at all for me and my name now fits great.

Good luck with whatever you decide!!
R.

A. - When my husband and I started trying to have a family, we spent many many hours talking about names. The girls name that we both chose and loved at the time was Madison, we never did agree on a boys name. Well, imagine our surprise when we found out we were pregnant with triplets and they were all GIRLS!!! We had to comeup with THREE names now! Well, long story short, NONE of our girls ended up with the name Madison. When I started feeling them move and connecting with them, they weren't Madisons! Ultimately, we settled on Taylor, Leigha, and Kaitlyn and their middle names are our parents and siblings names in one form or another. We don't hardly EVER call them by their given names! Taylor is peanut (she was only 2lbs 4oz at birth), Leigha is ladybug, and Kaitlyn is Pumpkin or Kat.
Don't feel bad about your sons name, you're not a horrible mother. Call him what you want to call him - as everyone else has recommended. Once he starts coming into his personality - you'll find a name that will fit him, whether its his given name or something else.
My best friends name is Mary Dixon, but we've always called her Dixie. Use whatever fits....and stop beating yourself up! You're not a bad mommy!

A.,

I have a Thomas and for the first five years of his life he went by T.J. (Thomas James)Then he started Kindergarten and he decided he wanted to go by Thomas. He's 13 now. Sometimes I sneak in a Thomas J. every now and then (just because I'm the only one who calles him that.)

I also have an 18 month old son who was a surprise baby. (I didn't know I was pregnant untill I was almost 3 months along. I wasn't suppouse to have any more) His name is Joseph Benjamin John. Joseph means God has added and was the name my husband really wanted. Benjamin is the name I really like and we already have a Benjamin in the family. John after my Father who almost died 3 weeks before the baby was born, so my family wanted us to call him Johnny. Well, after trying out all the names, Joseph, joey, Joe (my MIL hates this one)Benjamin, Benny, Ben, Johnny, I started to call him Jojo and everyone just followed. It suits him very well. So for now he's Jojo but who knows, he may change it just like big brother Thomas.
Good Luck and remember nothing is written in stone.

I don't think you are bad at all! I've struggled with the name i picked for my first daughter and regretted that I didn't give her my middle name. I gave it to my second daughter, but my eldest used to think it was her middle name too. I put a lot of thought into picking her name and now I love it, but I understand your dilemma. There are tons of people who name their child one thing and end up calling him a nickname like chuck and that is what everyone knows them as. Basically you can call him whatever you want and the rest of your family and friends will catch on. what do you see him as? What about tommy?

Hi A..
Sorry that you are struggling with that. We had a similar experiece, my husband and I both really liked one boys name, and used it for our first son. Then came another boy! We really had a hard time agreeing and deciding on a name. Finally we just went with what we thought was the best at the time, though neither of us were ectatic about it. On top of that it was not a common name and at first I really struggled with telling it to people.

But now that he is almost 2, I really like his name, not just the name, but because it is him. I got used to it and as this little guy kept growing, I can't imagine him with any other name.

I think you have to not worry about what your family might say- if you want to call him by his middle name- just do so. Just tell them that as you have gotten to know this little guy, the middle name fits him better. He is only 2 months, so others will grow accostomed, as will you, as his personality starts to come out more. After you have him for a year or so, you will not be able to imagine him with any other name.

you are not a bad mother, Just make sure you grow used to his name and begin to like it or give him a nickname you like. I dont think he should know that you do not like his name.

A.,
-seems like you have a lot of support for changing your child's name! I just wanted to say, (if you get back to reading this post!) that many cultures name their children after they are one year old, a few months old or give them names that are childhood names, then rename them when they reach puberty!! What ever you call your child, you love them with your heart and soul and that is what they recognize!!
-A.