I Feel Selfish Because I Have Career Issues. Am I Hurting My Kiddos?

OK, I'm painfully direct, and I'll apologize for that...

You've just given us a looong list of reasons that you don't WANT to work. And a ton of excuses, including no direction.
And unless that changes, you're never going to keep a job.

Ten jobs in 2 years is not a good work ethic.

In this post, you have given many excuses not to work. No more excuses. Make a decision. Stay home with the kids or get a job. If you need school to get where you want to be, then find a scholarship and go.

Don't want to be a veterinarian? Then don't. There will be parts about any job that you won't like.

Your grades aren't great because you're not committed. You need to be committed. The only way you will be committed? Is finding out what makes you tick and what you love. Ten jobs in 2 years is not finding out what makes you tick. It's just working to collect a paycheck.

First of all, don't apologize for "only" having a high school diploma. There's no shame in that! I don't think you need to position this as a bad example to your kids - when you went to school, learning disabilities weren't well understood or diagnosed, and accommodations weren't made.

I do think you need to think about all the jobs you have quit - that may be more of a problem for you than a lack of an advanced degree, since employers are looking for reliability. I do think it's okay to inform an employer or coworker of the best way you learn (instead of talking about a disability, you can talk about a learning style). I agree the employe shouldn't discriminate but you may also be choosing jobs that don't play to your strengths.

I wouldn't worry about being the oldest one in the class - you probably will not be! Community colleges especially are happily recruiting people who want to find a new career.

Health care fields have a lot of opportunities especially in the evenings and on weekends, so phlebotomy or other technical fields (ultrasound tech, radiology tech, CNA and many other options) may be good choices. Learning to draw blood would also be applicable to vet techs although I realize you don't want to go to school twice. But you don't seem sure of what you want to do.

Your biggest impediment is your husband. He goes to sleep at 5:30-6 PM and your kids are unsupervised in the late afternoon and evening - they are at risk and will be more so as teens if you are not there. If you're worried about a bad example to the kids, I'd start there.

Community colleges and your state's employment office will have free career counseling and some skills assessment. For other types of counseling, such as helping you with general goals, your self esteem, and your husband's drinking, ask your pediatrician or general practitioner for a referral to a counselor who accepts your medical insurance.

Jobs in the school system (doesn't have to be your kids' school - anything in the district) definitely give you the same schedule as your kids - including snow days and vacations. Cafeteria, office, janitorial and school bus driver (this last one is usually a separate company) are all possibilities. Maybe something in a summer camp or with the recreation department would help during the summer.

If it were me, I wouldn't take another job except for the school department until I solved the problem of a drinking/sleeping husband though. You need to be available to supervise homework, dinner, computer usage and free time. And one more job you quit just eats at your attitude and confidence. Work on yourself first with whatever free services are available.

I'm a manager at my job and I hire the people who work in my department. When I get a resume that lists 10 jobs in 2 years, I don't even call that person for an interview. Why would I hire someone who quits job after job? I went to college but I didn't graduate so technically I 'only' have a high school diploma too, but I've been at my job for 14 years and I've moved up the chain. I've been promoted to the point that I make excellent money. As much as someone with a degree would be making. I've proved myself with hard work and dedication. I'm proof that you don't need a degree to make a good career for yourself. Not that you shouldn't go back to school, I think you should. But I think you need to stick it out with a job. It really hurts a company to put time and money into training someone just for them to quit. Also who is going to give you a good professional reference if you quit all your previous jobs? I personally won't hire someone who doesn't have good past job references.

You need to work on your self esteem and figure out why you act this way. Go back to school and get a degree if that's what you want, but in the meantime see a counselor or life coach to try to get to the deeper issues going on with you. You are worthy enough to be an asset to a job. You just have to realize it and truly believe it! Good luck.

E.,

You need to figure out what works for you. What is your priority? What skills do you have?

I'm sorry - as a recruiter - if you tell me you have a strong work ethic and you have had 10 jobs so far?? You don't have a strong work ethic and I won't hire you.

You tell your future employer what you need and what you expect - it's OKAY to do that. Tell them what you WANT to do and HOW you are going to do it. STOP job hopping. Enough. Figure out what you want to do and do it.

You want to be a phlebotomist? GREAT!! Get the certification needed and start applying to positions and doctors offices or hospitals.

Stop making excuses because you "only have your high school diploma" and start figuring out what you want to do with your life and DO IT!!

I'm sorry to say it out loud but you do not have great work ethic,

Someone with great work ethic died not continue to quit job after job.

As a business owner, if I look at a resume and there has been no consistency in the workforce, multiple jobs listed, I move on because I'm not going to waste my time and money training someone who will just quit.

I really think you don't want to work.

You need to address your self esteem issues. As for hurting your kids, you are modeling this behavior in front of them, they see it as ok to keep quitting. They need better role model examples from you.

It's not a shame that you only have a HS diploma. The shame is you don't stick with a job when the going gets a little tough so you convince yourself that it's ok to quit.

Frankly, you don't have a "great work ethic" if you keep quitting every job you get. You don't necessarily need to return to school unless you decide on a trade school for something specific. I owned my own insurance agency for many years with just a high school diploma.

You just need to find a job you like and stick with it. Or go to a trade school and learn a trade. Pick one and do it and don't quit. No job is always perfect but if you find something that interests you and you like doing, the good days will be enough to get you through the bad ones. Good luck.

Go back to school. How old will you be if you DON'T go back to school? As old as you are if you do.

My husband is mid 40's and heading into his 4th year of med school. He has 3 years of residency to go, and then perhaps another year after that if he does a specialty. He'll be just under 50 when he's done. I'll be 50 in 2 years and I'm going back to school.

ALSO, if you go back to school, even community colleges, many of them offer FREE counseling - not just for school issues - for students. I did that for a while and it helped me get through a tough spot.

The learning disability issue can be tough. Jobs aren't supposed to discriminate, and if you have a good boss and you tell them that you can't process info quickly, they are supposed to make accommodations. But life isn't perfect and not all bosses are that great.

There are tons of people with learning disabilities. Somehow you have to find a way to build up your self esteem. Don't know if maybe March of Dimes or an organization that supports people with your disability might be able to help you with counseling and career planning, but it's worth a look :)

Good luck!

Did you ever wonder if you are an adult with ADHD? It seems like a lot of jobs to quit to me! But perhaps it is just the self esteem issue that acts up each time. You really need to get a handle on that...whether through self help or therapy because you can't just quit jobs over and over...that is not the way to success. You don't want to burn any bridges. This is really important. If you stay somewhere a long time you can move up. I think is actually would be GOOD for your kids if you get some kind of advanced degree or certificate in some occupation. So phlebobomy or vet tech would be a great option for you...but you have to stick with it! It is NOT bad for your kids if you have a career! It's good for you and for them...they will be proud of you and they will grow up knowing education and having a career is important. I have one friend who joined the military very young. After he and his wife had kids they met us and he was impressed that we had graduate school degrees. He went back to school and got a college degree doing online evening classes. Then after that he did a Masters degree! I was so proud of him. He did it all in the evenings after his kids went to bed. Once I worked for an amazing woman who raised her kids and when they both were high school age she went and got her PhD! She was the head of a huge DOE program when I worked for her. I just met another woman who never went to college when she was young and at age 50 she went and got a degree in Horticulture. She is now about 65 and is the head of a butterfly garden/museum. You are never too old. She actually inspires me...I was thinking what should I do next in life? :)

Try finding a job working for your kids school.
It won't be much money but you'll be on the same schedule as your kids.
Try working as a cafeteria lady - you'll need a food handlers card - they are easy to get.
That's what I'm doing till my son graduates next year.
We get the same vacation schedule - and if he has a snow day - so do I!

I had a degree but went back to further my education later in life. I was the oldest except for 2 in my class. I was really supported by my classmates and I fit in fine any how - and my life experience and previous work experience was valued. I actually made some good friends too.

I would pick something that interests you and that will work for your family. Think about hours, flexibility should you need it - that kind of thing. Talk to people who do both those jobs you're thinking about. Research it a bit more.

In the meantime, I like B's approach. Maybe work at your children's school. That would boost your self esteem, be rewarding and work with your kids' schedules.

I always find sometimes I need to step a before step b is clear. If my self esteem needs to go up before I take a plunge or a risk for example, then I think what can I do in the meantime? Sometimes a smaller step (or one that is not as scary) gives you the courage to go for the bigger one.

Good luck and keep us posted :)

You really don't have a good work ethic...you seem to have a pattern of quitting everything that you try.

It doesn't matter what you decide to do next if you can't get a handle on why you give up and quit things. No matter what you do, it requires perseverance and dedication to be sucessful. Things aren't always going to be easy nor should they be.

Either career path could be positive if you find a way to stick with it. You need to decide what you want out of life. No matter what you decide that is, you won't find it if you keep quitting things.

A personality test will help you clear up a lot of confusion. Go to www.16personalities.com It will give you MANY career options that will compliment your personality, your strengths etc. Hope this helps.

Here's the thing. If you have a diagnosed learning disability the college MUST work with you to accommodate your areas that are lower.

I have learning disabilities in math. When I went to college they could NOT make me take a timed test. I was allowed to have my tests given to me in a place where I was comfortable such as an empty office, a learning center where a teacher observed me to make sure I wasn't cheating but where I wouldn't be unduly stressed, I was allowed to have a tape recorder in the classroom so I could go back and listen to what the teacher was saying. I could even have someone to sit with me and help me if I needed that. Not help with the work during a test but if I got upset or something they could talk to me and help me get refocused.

I know a lady who has multiple learning disabilities and she works a lot of jobs too. She has a better self esteem that you but she's gone to a lot of counseling. That might help you too. They will help you to dig a little deeper and figure out where those thought loops are coming from that say you're not good enough to even work a menial job, that they'd be better off without you...that's very sad and that's what you're hearing all the time in your mind. It plays on how you feel about yourself and that's why you aren't feeling more positive.

I do have to say that you are going to have to decide what you want out of life.

Do you want to sit at home the rest of your life or do you want to contribute to your family's income so that your family will have a better chance for nice things? That didn't come out right....what I'm trying to say is that bringing in more money lets your family go do vacations, go to amusement parks, go out to eat sometimes, have money in savings if an emergency comes up.

Overall you have to decide what you want out of life.

I hate being at home. I like when I have time for me and have extra money too. I'd rather be working so I can pay someone to clean my house instead of me being hom and getting stuck with everything.