I Have a Skin Crawling Screamer.....

Try spraying with a spray bottle filled with cold water when they screem like that. I had a boy like that and the Dr. told me to try it. It works.

One thing I did when my kids were going through a shouting stage was confine it to an area. We had a half a bath on our lower level that had mirrors all the way around. When they were having a fit, I would tell them it's not ok to scream like that at our house, we use words when we are mad and upset. I would send them in there, telling them they could scream all they wanted, and when they were ready to use their words they could come back out. They would get so caught up in watching their own faces when they screamed it would de-escalate quickly. You need to be able to trust them not to do anything hinky in the bathroom, or choose a different place.

For me it's about them understanding it's ok to be mad, but you need to find an appropriate way to deal with it, and screamings not it. Also, it's about them learning to master and control their own feelings. I feel like if we're always jumping in to fix things and make them better they aren't learning to deal with difficulties and dissapointments and frustrations on their own.

Hope this helps,
J.

Dear J., You my have more than a screamer on your hands. I have a few questions for you. Does your child do this for attention of for no apparent reason? Does she do it when there is a unexpected change? Does she prefer to be alone? Does she hate to be touched unexpectantly? Does your child have little ticks ie extra blinking, moving her eyes strangely or clacking
teeth? Does she socialize with her siblings? what besides visitors sets her off? you may contact me at ____@____.com My name is R.try answering some of these questions and I will see If I can help. Maybe not but its worth a shot.

I know what you mean. I have 3 kids. 7,6 and 1. My oldest used to do that when they were younger. I tried ignoring them and that only made it worse. What your child is doing is asking for you attention. Negative yes but what you have to do and it worked for us is discuss a disapline action with your husband and stick to it. Whether when it happens it's time out or going to the room to chill. Dont budge and never be afraid to leave a store. you can always go back or one of you can go to the car. when the child sees you wont let down then they will. If you give up then they wont. J.

J. G,

I borrowed this technique from someone else, and it worked for me. Tell your child that her behavior is not appropriate. More importantly, tell her what is appropriate! Explain that the next time she screams, you will remove everything from her room but the essentials: a bed, a dresser or nightstand, and her clothes. If she can go for a week (you set the time) without screaming, she is allowed to choose ONE thing which she can bring back into her room. If she doesn't go a week(you have set the time), explain why she is not getting back her toys, etc. If she behaves herself and earns back some of her things, but then screams the next week, take something away from her, and tell her she will have to earn it again. If it helps her to keep track of time, mark a big "X" on the calendar for each day she behaves. Also mark the day she is eligible to choose something to return to her room. That way she is more knowledgeable about how many days she has to wait.

MTSgarden

Is it your baby or your five year old? I am assuming your 19month old?

distraction it's what has worked best for me, anything from a toy or electronic gadget, finger puppets, photos, whatever can grab her attention and channel her energy somewhere else, ignoring it it's not going to help because your patience will run out eventually, my hope is that someday my screamer king will realize that screaming it's a waste of energy and learn to channel his frustration in quieter ways!

I had a sceamer also.. I learned to whisper to him in a calm voice..that way he had to stop screaming to hear what I was saying..Good Luck

That's tough... I'm so sorry you're going through that. I'm not sure which child you are talking about, but I'm going to assume its your 19 month old girl. Mine (22 months old), is also a bit of a screamer (and stubborn to boot) and its a tough call. She's about at the age when the correction "use your words" should start to be effective BUT... I know the screamer. We have dealt with our toddler by a) separating her immediately when she is throwing a tantrum. what she wants is an audience. at home I can march her up to her room and shut the door until she calms down. when she does, we respond immediately to words and calm requests from her. with four kids, you may have a room sharing situation, which we do as well, but her big sister is very understanding of the temporary loss of her room. and b) we keep her on a tight sleep schedule and have avoided taking her in public for the past 8 months! just recently her language is really kicking in and the tantrums are greatly reduced. Good luck. Hang in there.

Start teaching the screamer how to deep breath. You did not say what age the screamer is. Anyway, give them some alternative solutions to screaming. A stress ball, look them in the eye when they start screaming and ask them to calm down, when teaching how to deep breathe have them inhale through their nose while extending their stomach. Consistency is important. Get down on their eye level and do this with them each time they scream, until they can do it on their on. You are teaching new habits.