I Need a Friend!

I could use a friend too.

I'm far from negative or judgemental.

I have 3 kids and have been lucky to be a SAHM for the past 10 years. That may change soon though when my dh gets out of the Navy.

E-mail me if you want. I have some ideas to make new friends..

____@____.com

I was looking for a meaningful way to respond and I took a break and clicked on my school's website and this popped out.

Hopefully this helps!

The Places That Scare You:
A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times
by Pema Chodron

“Confess your hidden faults.
Approach what you find repulsive.
Help those you think you cannot help.
Anything you are attached to, let it go.
Go to the places that scare you.”

Through talks and guided meditation sessions, Pema Chodron will explore with us and show us how to put these instructions into practice in our everyday lives. We learn how to go to "the places that scare us", places within ourselves, other people who may challenge or intimidate us, or even our own memories, as a path of awakening the heart. Sometimes the most difficult people seem to be our best teachers. She teaches you that taking in the hurtfulness of others sometimes can teach us to show more joy and compassion to others in the world. She shows us that through meditation, mindfulness and other practices we can rid ourselves of negativity, fear, anger and anxiety. These practices show us how we can overcome almost any obstacle in our life.

I know you said you didn't want to join a group, but I really encourage you to look into Moms Club (Moms Offering Moms Support). www.momsclub.com It is a group for SAHM's and you choose how much you participate. Most Utah groups are pretty small (my chapter has about 25 women total and an average activity has 3-5 women so you really get the chance to talk and get to know each other). You can limit it to only participating in a playgroup or just the book club, or Moms Night Out, etc (in my chapter, about 50% of the activities are child-based, and 50% are geared towards the mothers but children are always welcome). I've made a few really great friends and we do things with OUTSIDE of the group quite often. And I never would've made these friends had I not joined the club - and you never know how you're going to find those one or two friends who know EXACTLY what you're going through if you don't make any effort. These are women who have tons in common with you! Not to mention that my children have made many friends as well.

Just think about it before you condone all "mommy groups." You might just be giving up being friends with some terrific women. Here's a link to the Draper chapter if you change your mind: http://drapermoms.googlepages.com/home

Do you have a public park nearby? If so, take your child and strike up a conversation with another Mom. If you hit it off decide to meet there again. I have found that church is a good place to meet friends, too. Maybe you could meet other moms at the public library when they have story time for kids. Just smile and be friendly!

well, heck- i'll be your friend! :-) listen, my whole life i wanted to be a mom. when i became one, it was the biggest identity crisis of my life to date. the thing i realized was that my career was also like a child to me and it was hard to let go of it or put it on hold. that coupled with being in a state where it seems that everyone at least APPEARS to be blissful with motherhood (because it might have serious implications on your afterlife if you are not). i found a good friend at the church we attend and we've been a having "mommy accountability" playdate once a week for almost 2 years. we are able to talk about everything with each other, provide support and have some fun while the kids entertain each other. i think most importantly, we are authentic with each other and we don't hide the bad days when they happen as well as celebrating the good ones. the other place i have met wonderful moms and friends is at stroller strides (a fantastic fitness program for moms). well, i hope that helps. i think what you are feeling is so normal and there are so many of us out there that have or are feeling the same. best wishes!

Hello CREEPY!! I thought perhaps I was looking at this wrong, it sounds just like me. We have MUCH in common!!! I am in Draper, SAHM just over a year to a little boy (14 months old) and also was searching for a friend or two. I had many friends at my old job and found being a SAHM wasn't all it was cracked up to be. I recently I started a Moms group with other SAHM from my old job and anyone they knew. It isn't a huge group ( 4 or 5 moms max meet at a time and most of us have kids about the same age) but we meet weekly for playdates and monthly for moms night outs. You are more than welcome to come. I also sale Stampin' UP! products on the side and teach classes from my home. If you are interested in any of this please message me and we get together. Hope to hear from you soon. S.

I so know how you feel. I have been a SAHM for four years, and let me tell you, it gets really tough. Your working friends just don't bond the same, or get it. And sometimes, the mommy friends, are really just there for the activity and then out the door. I have been wanting to find someone to hang out with during the day and just have adult coversation with for a while now. I will find someone, but it never lasts that long. Not like our single days is it? I live in Sandy and would love to learn more or chat some. I have two little ones, a four year old girl and a two year old boy. My husband works a lot, so I am constantly going nuts! Let me know if you want to chat more, even if it is just over email. :)

I'm right with ya. I've been a SAHM for 3 years now and sometimes are better then others. My husband is still finishing up school, so between that and full time work, I'm left alone A LOT. I actually get what you mean about waiting a couple friends that you can call and hang out with. I have attended a group of a few girls from my husbands high school (If that sounds weird, I knew my husband in high school so I knew them a little too). But besides the get togethers every couple of months, I don't talk to them. I am in desperate need of some close friends I can call up any given time a say let's do something! Where do you live? I'm in the American fork area.

Oh I hear you. I live in West Jordan. I have tried the moms club. I have tried the church thing. I have tried the library thing. I have 3 children who I love dearly. I have a husband whom I love with all my heart. But seriously, there are things you don't even want to talk to your husband about. Adult matters you won't talk to your children about. I feel isolated and lonely sometimes. If your close, we could meet at a park or if you don't want to or are not close, we could chat over the email if you want.

Hi D.- Hey, I think that's a pretty normal way to feel. I have met a couple of friends in my neighborhood and church. It seems the ones I have become closest to have moved. Others are good for a family BBQ where the kids play a few times a year, but not people I can rely on for a more dear kind of friendship... I sometimes feel I am somehow odd man out, like I am somehow different. I try not to dwell on that thought, because I realize these women have children of different ages than mine, and hectic lives, and we do not all have what it takes to be a good friend or easily attract good friends. That makes us stronger and hopefully more compassionate to be that kind of person for others. It used to hurt my feelings if I asked people for a favor like letting my child play at their house while I had a doctor appointment or other special event, and they would never ask me back... and I believe the reciprocal thing is important. Thinking about it makes me realize I need to try harder to keep in touch with dear friends that aren't right next door... but they might be just a few miles away. Keep trying and stay open. Some good friend is right around the corner, then when you meet her or them, realize that they might move somewhere else after you start to feel close. Best of luck D.!