My son is now 5. He starts kindergarten in Aug. He will be going full time. I have had him in a pre-school/day care setting 3 days a week full days. I love the teacher he has. He has really learned alot since he went into her class room. But here recently he has been acting up. Hitting,kicking, spitting, throwing things in the class room. I know he likes the teacher, we have even used her as a babysitter and he adores her.
My son has some sensory issues, is on meds for hyper activity. No he is not adhd we had him tested at Childrens Memorial. I don't know what to do for him. I believe its all behavorial.
I had a baby 3 months ago and I could blame it all on that but I think its always been there but has gotten worse since the baby has came. He is very care and attentive to the baby.
So every time he acts up the day care will call me and I have to go pick him up.
Does anyone have any advice or know where I could go to get him some help for behavorial? He currently recieves OT and speech therapy.
Thanks
Children often act up after the birth of a sibling, even if they love and are kind to that sibling. Maybe he acts up and then you pick him up, so he gets what he wants. I don't know what the solution is, though.
He acts up and mom comes and picks him up ... even if he loves the teacher and the center, this sounds like a payout for him (he gets control over mom coming ... especially after the new baby). Kids generally regress in behavior when a sibling comes along, and with his other issues, it sounds very related.
If the preschool won't budge on you having to pick him up, make sure that he gets no privileges when he gets home. Don't talk to him on the way home more than absolutely necessary. He gets no t.v. or outside, at least until the time he would be getting home. Maybe if he sees how not fun it is to come home, it will help.
As far as going to kindergarten, have you talked to the school about seeing if he needs an IEP (to accommodate for and work through his special needs)? If not, I would call them right away, before the end of the year. It takes some time to get into place, and it would be really good if it was all ready when he starts kindergarten. It help make sure the teacher understands his special needs. It can probably be labeled as "developmental delay" at this age, which means that he could very well grow out of it and it won't necessarily follow him through all of school.
Dan Peterson(____@____.com), try getting in touch with this counselor, his office is in Naperville. I know he has parenting workshops but also does individual counseling. My friend went to the workshop for her 4 yr old son & she said the class was amazing & she learned a lot of different techniques. I want to go to a workshop soon.
Talk to your OT and speech therapists or your son's ped, and ask for a referall for a behavioral eval. My first guess is that he's got some regression going on due to baby, however, since you have some meds/hyperactivity in the mix, getting a second opinion from a pro can't hurt.
If you are looking for alternate resources, I'll recommend this book: "Taking Charge: Loving Discipline that works at Home and At School" by JoAnne Nordling. The author founded the Parent Support Center up here near Portland and I've used this book on many occasions in my work. The guide to observations, assessments, the breakdown of the Four Misbehaviors and the variety of corrections presented offer parents a grounded and strong parenting toolbox of simple techniques for helping our kids, keeping their self-esteem intact and knowing what's behind the behavior before trying to change it.
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Make sure he is getting one on one time with you each week. A mommy-son date one night a week? Also, make sure discipline is extremely consistent. Let him know what the consequence will be for doing certain things and follow through. Don't give him more than one chance and be very calm about it and black and white. Give him a consequence that he will care about. Also, make sure there is a LOT of positive attention and praise when he is doing something right. I hope you get lots of good advice from others. These are just my thoughts and what I have learned dealing with my extremely spirited son (who is now 7).
Since discipline is the most basic way to handle behavior, what has his discipline been (from you, it's not the teacher's job) for hitting, kicking, spitting and throwing things in the class room? When he gets home, what do you do about it? Whatever it is, it needs to be firmer if you have warned him it will happen every time he acts that way but he still does it.
it sounds like you are discribing my 4 1/2 yr old. while he does not have the sensory issue, he is very active. there does not seem to be an off switch for him. I, too have had to leave work to pick him up and also believe it boils down to the daycare not being able or willing to handle the sitution. lets face it, they are not real teachers at this level just babysitters. however, we do pay loads of money to these daycare that probable claimed to do above and beyond when interviewed. that said, i take my son to a play theropy at a childrens hospital. I also try to reward him w/ something special at the end of a good week meaning he was good and I got no calls to pick him up. try that. use a trip to the zoo or even a trip to the dollar store and let him go crazy. we certainley dont expect the school to raise our kids but I think they could do better. after all, that is in thier job discription.
It sounds like your child is responding to negative reinforcement which means he has made the connection to acting out and getting you one on one. To change this, you (and the teacher) should start by ignoring as much wrong behavior and praising good behavior. Example: if others are following directions, praise them for doing what they should be doing no matter how small it might be like sitting quietly in the chair. When acting out does occur, ask him if that is what he is supposed to be doing and why. Often, there is no explanation for acting out other than to see if he can. Hope this helps.
We were really struggling with our sons behavior for a long time and we recently started seeing a child psy, per his OTs referal (sees OT for Sensory issues). We have been going for about 3 months now and we are seeing a completely different kid. This therapist uses the TheraPlay techniques and they are a gentle, fun and playful way to help. I have been very impressed. Check out the website, www.theraplay.org and they have a provider locator on their site.
Hi E.,
I agree with Julia N. You should contact the school to make sure they are aware of his sensory issues. Public schools are very understanding and have many resources available to help make his transition to kindergarten as successful as possible. They might also have recommendations on good behavioral therapists that you can visit prior to the school year. As I'm reminded almost daily from my own kids, parenting is not for the faint of heart! :) Good luck with everything.
Dr Sears has some expert advise on helping with these behaviors. Many tips are on his website, but I would suggest getting his book.
Scroll down to the 'bothersome behavior' part for specific issues:
Could it be the medication???
Maybe it is affecting his behavior or emotions.
There are some side effects, of medications, that affect a child.
I would, consider that.
