I Need Help with My 14 Month Old's Whining !

Is she teething. My daughter is 13 1/2 months old and just got her 1st molar teeth this week and they are making her act similar to what you are describing.

I informed my daughter from the very first time she whined it was not a good way to communicate and she will NEVER EVER get what she wants that way. I stuck to it. She has not ever (she's 5 1/2 now) thrown a temper tantrum in her life, there were no terrible 2s (that's a myth-it's a parenting thing). Change your methods and she will change her behavior. State your expectations, and wait her out. Don't bend and try to find more ways, she needs to know you will be consistent in your expectations, or else she will not be able to meet them.

I don't know if your 6 year old whined, but whining is completely normal for this stage. Normal, however, doesn't mean free license to let the child do what she wants. My daughter was a whiner too. We would mimic the whining sound back to her in an exaggerated tone and then tell her that noise hurt our ears and was a "no no". She got the idea. It took about a month, but she quit whining and now when she hears other kids whining, she will put her hands to her ears and say, "That's too loud in my ears."

The other thing you might consider is is your daughter getting enough rest? At 14 months, she should be getting 15 or so hours of sleep a day...give or take a few hours. At least 10 a night and a few hour nap in the afternoon. The interesting thing with kids and sleeping is that making them tired doesn't mean they will sleep longer or better at night. Well rested children sleep better. At 14 months, my daughter was sleeping 3 hours after lunch and then bedtime was 8pm and she slept until 8am. Every kid is different, but sleep is key. Also your daughter might be teething or she might be having a growth spurt. But it really sounds like a sleep issue to me. My daughter wasn't a climber, so I can't help with how to keep your daughter in her crib...maybe someone else has a solution.

Okay first remember that it is difficult for a toddler to express their feelings, a tantrum is not them trying to annoy you its her telling you she is in need of something.
You should ask yourself the following questions
1. is she hungry, wet, tired, sleepy
2. is she getting enough time with mommy and daddy
3. is she cutting any teeth
4. keep in mind growth spurts and when they happen
Once you have started to weed things out you will be able to figure out what is causing the fussiness, there is always a reason. Also if she is climbing out of her crib it may be time to move to a toddler bed or just put the crib mattress on the floor. I know its hard I have a 19 month old. just be patient and think of your toddlers needs. Once you figure out the cause of it you can help alleviate some of her frustration.

Check out Hand in Hand Parenting, which is in the Local Business Review section of this website. They have great booklets on childrens' emotions, and have helped me SO MUCH with my daughter, who is now 20 months. I have discovered that such behavior in my daughter stems from three things: she is hungry/thirsty; she is tired; she is feeling disconnected from me. If you haven't established a sleep schedule yet, I recommend doing so. Tired children have behavior problems (just like the rest of us!) and don't learn as well. If she is sleeping, eating and drinking enough, lack of connection with you and/or any other primary care giver can bring on the behavior problems. In a nutshell, the Hand in Hand booklets teach parents to emotionally "plug in" to our children so they feel heard and deeply loved. Please check them out. The booklets don't cost much, don't take long to read, and are the most valuable parenting tool I have ever found. I hope it helps you!

If you know there is nothing physical going on with her then ignore her or she will learn she can run your life as she gets older. It works because she just wants all the attention. If you are pout in public unless she is high pitch shreaking most people will understand that she is a young child and tolerate it as well.

Others made good recommendations. In addition, does your 14 month old have many words yet? If not, maybe its related to frustration regarding communication to some degree? If you haven't already, I would recommend introducing sign language. Research shows it can increase speech and language skills and make the child feel like he has more control . Just an idea. Jen

I think almost every child goes through a "whiny" stage - and BOY can it be irritating. The best advice I can give is to NOT reward the whiny behavior. It takes a lot of self-control to not give in the the whining and tantrums - we want to do anything just to make them stop. There is some comfort though. The behavior WILL go away if it is not rewarded. For example, if my son in whining for "juice" or something he wants at home that I am willing to give him, I don't give it to him until he asks in a "normal" voice. I continue to remind my kids "Whining doesn't work. You don't get what you want when you whine." Sometimes my kids start whining for something while we're out shopping. I will ask them "Does whining ever work?" They actually stop, think and say "No."

What works for me with tantrums (also every kid I've had has tried this too) is to ignore it. Nothing takes the wind out of a kids sails like being ignored. Lavish attention on the kid who is behaving (fortunately you have another one - this really helps with tantrum behavior). Stay near the tantrumer, keep him in your peripheral vision, but IGNORE. As soon as the tantrum lets up, acknowledge it with "looks like you're ready to go shopping now" or some mild form of attention. When checkout comes say "Everyone who behaved in the store today can have a little treat. Did you behave today? No? Too bad, no treat for you but we'll try again next time, OK?" Be very deliberate with your words and your reasoning. Getting mom upset is very rewarding to little ones.....

Hope this helps.

mom of 6