I Need Some Sleep - Beloit,WI

My son went through the same thing at about the same age. His eyes were open, but it was like he was still asleep. I think it was night terrors. It lasted about a month and then eventually stopped. It was genuine fear on his part and I would just sit with him until he calmed down and would fall back asleep - usually about a 1/2 hr. Sometimes he would scream and yell and the more I tried to calm him, the worse it got. It was scary... imagine how they feel? Good luck:)

I use this response for a lot of sleep questions. I have a daughter who is not consistenly a good sleeper. She is now 3 and have been always dealing with sleep issues. I keep a sleeping bag in my room for her. She is now old enough to come in without waking me (mostly). She lays down on the sleeping bag and covers up with a blanket and goes back to sleep. IN the morning she usually says she had a bad dream. So your guy probably is having nightmares, terrors etc and needs a little comfort from you. IMO, you can fight him every night and lose more and more sleep, or give in and let him sleep on the floor in your room. She used to come sleep in my bed and it was rare i got a good night sleep. So with her sleeping on the floor is so much better. It is sporadic now and we all sleep better.

Sometimes to much stimulas before bed even up to several hours before bed affects sleep. Like TV or videos or computer activities may need to be during the day but not after supper. After supper a bath and reading together might help. Same routine each evening seems to help also, though can't always happen with schedules. I had one son with night terrors. Nothing seemed to help except rubbing feet and back, singing quietly and waiting it out till he went back to sleep. He eventually grew out of it but it took a year.

You didn't mention if your step children live with you. If they do have them help with this. I agree with the advice already given and I also know how kids 12 and 13 can talk and relate stories about what's been happening during their day. Just ask them to tone down some of the more descriptive language and stories while their little brother is up and hanging around them. You'd be surprised how some of the things we all say can be inturprited by a young child's mind when they sleep.

Hi S.! I know this is hard because sleeping on the floor when you are pregnant is probably miserable but my daughter is the same age and if she cries in the night I go and lay on her floor until she falls asleep, usually about 15 min. and she sleeps the rest of the night (most of the time!).
There is no rule that says you HAVE to let them sleep in your room!
This totally goes against what other people will tell you but it's my experience that kids sleep better in a totally dark room! We have a nightlight in the hall but no nightlights in the room anymore. My kids were such light sleepers when we had night lights in their rooms but now that we trasitioned out of that, they sleep much better. We leave the hall light on for them to get to sleep but once they are actually asleep we just have the nightlight shining in the hall.
Good luck and congrats on the new baby! Do what works for you so you can get some sleep!

Have you asked him why he can't sleep? My daughter is the same age and have gone through something similar. After a few nights of waking up 2-3 times for a few nights and screaming I asked her what the matter was or is something bothering you?

She pointed to a shadow that she woke up and saw created by the nightlight. So we took out the night light and keep the door closed... now she sleeps like a charm! She sleeps a lot better in a very dark room.

So just ask your son what is up... I also liked the sleeping bag in your room idea. Let him know he can sleep there but can not climb into your bed or wake you up unless he is hurt.

Is his bed near an outlet? or over pipes or wires? or a circuit box. My 3 year old also had this, and he was having very bad nightmares. We moved his bed away from the wall plugs and went in the basement to check the wires and put his bed in a spot with none. Now he sleeps fine.
Also another thing that effects my 3 year old is how many movies, or how much TV and what he is watching. I took him off TV & Movies once for a week and he became almost totally un-afraid of the dark. I also notice that he needs at least 1-2 hours of no TV before bed, or it's certain that he will be crying a lot. I don't let him watch anything with bad guys (even if they don't seem that scary) or roller coaster motion in the camera angles (too confusing and stimulating at the end of the day). I hid a some of the movies that I thought were problematic and he has mostly forgotten about them because they aren't on the shelf.
Also, I know for me some foods (I have allergies to some foods) make me a lot more anxious. Milk is one, wheat is one. Kind of like the "Pizza Dreams" concept. I have a friend who is allergic to chocolate and he gets the "night terrors" where he can't tell the difference between reality and nightmare- he is an adult and this is still very scary for him- so he doesn't eat any chocolate, ever.
I also think that as moms, our anxiety feeds our kids fears, and it takes a lot of concentration to move beyond the complexity of a situation and just be in the moment with all the love in the world we have for our kids. Letting go of what we are afraid will happen and wielding moments of healing and peace.
best of luck.

We've gone through this with both our boys, and it still happens with our 2-year-old.
Some things we have found that help (we're still working out the kinks) are:
*a filling bedtime snack- our boys love oatmeal
*Motrin- they get growing pains that I think aggravate the problem
*a night-time kit- we used this with our oldest and it worked really well. It was an cleaned out ice cream bucket that contained a sippy cup of water, a flashlight, a book, and a special toy.
If you want to keep your kids out of your bed (I do! I can't sleep with little ones in my room.) just be consistent and don't give in to all the little things that they come up with to put off going back to bed (rocking, back rubs, lying down with them, etc.). They just seem to multiply and prolong the whole process. My kids are master manipulators and will walk all over us if we give them the tiniest bit of lee-way, the smarty pants! =)
Now, I'm not denying they are afraid and need comfort, but I DO like to teach my kids to self soothe and show them that "scary" things in their rooms (i.e. shadows) are harmless. We don't leave our terrified children to take care of themselves, but FOR MY KIDS (I wouldn't presume to tell other people how to handle their children) sometimes there is only so much we can do to show them everything is OK and then they need to cry it out the rest of the way. Otherwise, we end up spending 3 hours up in the middle of the night, begging them to go back to sleep (this has happened several times in the last month).
We've tried the bed on the floor in our room, but our son started calling THAT his bed and refused to sleep in his own real bed. The bed on the floor went bye-bye really fast!
We don't use night-lights (that seems to make things worse, creating shadows and giving him visual fuel for his very active imagination) and close their door most nights to block out any miscellaneous household noises.
Like I said, we're still working out the kinks with our toddler, but we're learning from our mistakes and hope he will outgrow this sooner or later. Our 6-year-old did and now sleeps like a rock!

I heartily second the person who suggested Mary Sheedy Kurcinka's book, "Sleepless in America." She also has a website called parentchildhelp.com. I don't think I would let him "cry it out" since it sounds like he is really scared. I think crying it out under those circumstances would be very traumatic and might set him back. Is is just regular screaming or could it be night terrors? You might want to look that up on line or in Mary's book because he is at a prime age for night terrors. Mary was very helpful for us, I even took a class she taught. Good luck--it's not easy to be tired, especially with a toddler and one on the way.

Sounds like he is having night terrors. Does he drink milk before bed? Milk can couse kids to have night terrors and sleep walk. I know this may sound silly but my some had a big issue with sleep walking. So much that I had to lock him in his room at night because I was afraid he would go out side in the cold at night. My co worker told me I should not give him milk 2 hours befroe bed. I thought what the hay and I tried it. It worked. Once in a while he still sleep walks but nothing like what he used to. Good luck I hope this helps.

Hi, S.! It is SOOOOO hard not to get your sleep. We have had sleep problems with our son frequently from the time he turned 3 and we put him in a twin bed. A book that REALLY helped me was "Sleepless In America: Getting Your Family the Sleep It Deserves" by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka. She goes into bedtimes routines, how to make sure your child is calm and ready to sleep before bed, etc. Her recommendations have been invaluable to us, and have given us so many great ideas, which have actually helped.

One of the things that helped us is putting a pillow and blanket on the floor next to our bed. We told him if he has a really hard time, he can come in, bringing his own blanket and baby and lying on the floor in our room. We encouraged him to come in quietly, that he didn't need to wake us up. Even if he woke us up, though, and needed help with his blanket, we ALL went back to sleep so much more quickly and slept better. We've had to do this with our son off and on the last year and a half, and we just start it up again when he goes through stages where he needs more help with his sleeping.

I would also be really careful to monitor what he is seeing on TV, limiting screen time, and checking that the books he is reading are not scary to a 2 year old. In my experience, there are SO many things that are shown to children, such as in children's books, that seem rather harmless but are actually quite disturbing to children. Check out the decorations in his bedroom in the dark and see if there is anything that causes shadows, or just looks scary in the dark.

Since your son is only 2 1/2, he does not have a lot in his arsenal yet to help him get back to sleep, and he really needs you at this point. He just may need extra time with you as well, and this way he is not in your bed, but he is close, and it may be just the thing he needs. This won't last forever! But I know this doesn't make it any easier for you right now. At least I hope it will help you sleep better! Please do check out Kurcinka's book--it was a lifesaver here in our house!

God bless!

one thing to remember is that he is not doing this to manipulate you. kids dont have the capacity to wake up from sleep and cry to get your attention. there is some sort of genuine need here.
could it be night terror related? my son has night terrors sometimes, and sometimes he goes right back to sleep (its typical that the child doesnt really wake up) and sometimes he wakes himself up, which makes it worse cuz then he is disoriented and confused and scared.
i would try to be patient with him. you wont develop any bad habits by just following your instincts and giving him the care he needs during this time. if having him sleep on the floor in your room helps him, its not going to be a bad habit, but a reminder that you are flexible to his needs.

other things you can try is white noise... leaving a sippy cup in his bed.... leaving some books in bed, or some quite time toys or something.... that kind of thing....

check out www.askdrsears.com for sleep issues. they are really helpful!
and trust your gut. you know what your son needs, and dont be afriad to go with it! they arent this age for long!