I Need Your Help! Is This Post Partum Depression, Anxiety, Sleep Deprivation?

I agree that you probably should avoid public gatherings while the baby is that small with prior health issues, but that shouldn't stop you from getting out to excersise. Taking a brisk walk outside would help your state of mind and hormone levels. Part of your state of mind is hormonally controlled, as you will not have your body back for about a year after the baby is born. It takes time for things to get back to "Normal". That being said, if you have more serious symptoms such as crying over things for no reason over and over, suicidal thoughts, you should see your doctor immediately. Sleep deprevation also causes depression so make sure you can have some "Mommy" time to yourself, and make those kids take naps so you can. I do have the greatest sympathy for your situation. IF your husband has offered to get you help with the household, TAKE THE OFFER!

do you have a breast pump?? can you pump milk for your husband tofeed while you go out.?

my kids were breastfed but both took bottles of pumpled milk.

he is 4 months old and will soon be on cereal and food and that will make your life easier.

I could not stay home for months either..I would go insane.. it is very difficult for a social person to stay home all the time.. you have to get out.. have dad stay home and watch the bby and go someplace...

The choose you made is a hard one... and I respect you for doing all you can to protect your little one!!! I hate taking my kids out in the cold & can't understand why people let their kids outside in 20 deg weather without coats... sorry I'm off topic.

Don't think of yourself as selfish... my kids are 2, 4, 5 & 15 yr (our oldest doesn't live w/ us though) and I'm due in July. I do sometimes feel overwhelmed even with them and they sleep through the night most of the time. My hubby use to call me "mothership" because the kids were always "docked" when I was nursing. My mother-in-law made many comments about how she never saw me without the kids on me... she's not big on nursing - she wasn't able to do it so no one else should.

You aren't just fighting the weather or hormon changes... you are doing both plus the change in your normal life style. I can see why you feel you are lost somewhere & can't find yourself. Since your hubby is willing to help - is there a time (right after you nurse) that you could step out for an hour run... since you say it can be 2-3 hours between feedings, that way you know you are home in time for the next? Or if the weather warms a little here and there - can you bundle the kids up and go for a short walk... even around the block - you shouldn't have any contact w/ people like in a park or even let them play outside in the yard. Honestly, I needed a get away the other day & I walked to get my daughter from school instead of driving - it's only 2 blocks away, although I was cold by the time I got home (it was only 27 deg out) the walk helped me not feel so trapped.

If you truely feel overwhelmed & fear you might do something to yourself or the kids - go see a doc, but with nursing I'm sure you know whatever you take will be passed to the baby through your milk. Try to keep eating healthy, sometimes it helps. Also, if you are able to take a few min a day for you... take a relaxing bubble bath or candle-lit bath, read a book for a few min, watch a tv show you like, exercise for a few min, or that a nap. Whatever your heart desires... it sounds like your hubby is willing to give you those few minutes for yourself - take them.

Your son will soon be on a better nursing schedule & then you will be able to have more time with your hubby once the kids are in bed. I wish you luck and a quick return of spring... I'm watching out the window for spring everyday as well (it's my favorite season).

Being a mom is the most overwhelming, exhausting, all consuming things a woman do. Of course being the most wonderful and fulfilling. But when you are in position like you are where you have lost yourself in a sense, it is totally common to feel like you are,. How could you not? Of course you love your kids and want whats best, that also means a sane and happy mommy. I totally agree with trying to pump, and getting out when your husband is home even if its just an hour or so. If pumpings not an option, nurse the baby then leave asap. Stay relatively close and have your husband call if the baby needs to nurse. You have to have other things in your life then your home and kids. Thats not selfish, its human. Parenting is a constant adjusment, it changes with every baby, and as they get older. Dont be so hard on yourself, it's very hard to feel isolated and stuck in the house and not get a bit cranky!!

{{{{HUGS}}}} You are not selfish! What you're feeling is normal. I'm not saying you have these thoughts, but if you're having bad thoughts (suicide, hurting the baby), you do need to see your doctor immediately. It could be post-partum depression or Seasonal Affective Disorder.

You do need to get out, so pump your milk and go. Even if it's only for a half hour. Plus, make sure you are eating right. Lots of fresh fruits and vegetables, whole grains, lean proteins, and good fats. You should also be taking a good multivitamin. Cookies or chips are okay, but don't grab them for a quick pick me up. Make yourself a fruit smoothie instead or have some probiotic yogurt.

I would also recommend quiet time for yourself - 15 minutes in the morning or evening. Spend some time sitting quietly and focusing on your breath - letting yourself relax. Gentle stretching and maybe a few yoga moves would go along way to calming any anxiety you maybe having.

Before you know it, Spring will be here and you can go outside - be yourself again.

Reading this brings back so many memories. I have twin girls that are one and I felt like this about four months in. I would break down crying for no reason except lack of sleep. There is NOTHING more important then getting rest PERIOD!!! I don't care what you have to do but you need to get someone to come sit at your house just have them wash hands, etc. and you go in your room put earplugs in a fan on, soft music on whatever to get even an hour a day of sleep. IT's NOT negotiable. As soon as I got a little sleep I noticed I wasn't so depressed and wasn't feeling so crazy. Also I would get your kids out but not around people, at least take them on a long walk or a long drive anything to get out for a bit. Also I know you know this is not forever...Reach out to people like you are doing on here. Just talking about it can be a big help. You are not selfish and you are not alone!! Last but not least Pray, and ask others to pray for you. I will!

I can imagine why you are feeling like this , being stuck indoors with only the kids can drive you nuts , it's only natural that you want/need to get out and get some fresh air and interact with other people. As you are breast feeding and he will not take formula can you pump? Store it in the freezer so that when your husband comes home you can get out for an hour by yourself , to the grocery store , starbucks wherever.

For a minute, I thought I wrote this, lol. You are lucky to have a great DH. Even if it is for an hour or two, go out while he is home. Sometimes I find if I am not in the vicinity, baby doesn't look for me as much to nurse, you know? In a short time period, you can go to a bookstore, take a looong walk, have coffee with a friend, whatever. You will be stressed when you return probably, but I'll bet the level will be much more tolerable, and that's a start! Also, quarantining your kids doesn't have to mean you all can't take a family walk together. Yes, it's cold, but germs from people get people sick. I don't know how severe your baby's issues are or what they are, but maybe if you go out together, but away from others just on the sidewalk or whatever,you may be fine.
I think am experiencing some of what you are, so good luck!!!

this is normal .. just so you know... most babies do get sick when they have brothers or sisters to bring stuff home to them. my first never got sick.. my second a little bit.. my third.. oh well.. he got it all. that's just how things are. then when my first went to pre school.. he got everything possible.. the first year was sick all the time. kids get sick easier.. but they do get better. use a lot of lysol and a lot of hand washing. don't quarantine to long. how about only one month. get him better.. teach your other kids how to wash hands really good. you can't stay in.. you'll go nuts.. it's like hurting you too. your other two kids will go crazy too. it will hurt you all. i know you love this new baby and want the best for him or her.. but you have to do right by everyone. your husband goes out.. right.. he can bring stuff home too... so why can't you go out. the kids usually are the ones that bring the bugs home.. so go out to lunch on a sat. with some friends.. pump breast milk... and go.. don't look back.. then having your other kids go over someone s house for an hour.. won't hurt.. just a small play date.. but make sure they know how important cleaning hands are... good luck.. go out.. have a fun day for you... even if it's an hour..

A lot of this sounds like what I'm living right now too! My baby is three months old and has been in the hospital only once, but we're trying to stay at home much of the time too. The last thing we need is for the baby to get sick again. It's great that your husband is so helpful, but he can't give you the thing you need most which is to feel like YOU again. I usually find that it takes me a couple hours without kids to relax, and that time is what we don't have right now. But even an hour by yourself or with friends will help immensely! Feed him and leave. Plan a coffee, quick lunch, or something else with a friend. Go to the store by yourself. Even getting out with my toddler without the baby helps me! I feel very hurried when I'm out only because my baby refuses the bottle, so I can't stay out for long, but an hour or hour and a half is long enough to take a deep breath and remember that I need to take care of myself too. I'm exhausted as well and as we all know, everything seems worse without sleep. I hope things get better for you; just know you aren't alone, and things will get better! Good luck- and if you find out how to get the baby to sleep for more than 3 hours at a time, let me know!!

I, too, soooo remember feeling that way when I had my daughter 3 yrs ago. The first 6 weeks were the toughest for me really up until 6 months. My husband was a resident working crazy hours so really I was the one having to hold everything together, and frankly I was falling apart. I remember feeling so tired, worn out, and disconnected. Around 6 weeks, I got a random phone call from my health insurance company saying they were checking in on me. They told me it was a routine post-partum checkup that Blue Cross Blue Shield of Massachusetts did for their clients. Ok, so I was totally honest with answers and they told me I needed counseling.

They recommended a counselor and at that point, I went with no hesitation hoping to find an answer to bring me back to my normal happy self. I went to see the counselor, she asked a zillion questions and she told me I was sleep deprived and didn't want to label me with post-partum depression quite yet until we figured out a way to get the sleep thing corrected. She told me to get a hotel room for a weekend and get away by myself. Really???? No way, I was breastfeeding, I couldn't do that. But what I did do was get a night nanny a couple nights a week which was a life saver for me. My counselor was totally right, I needed sleep. I started working out when my husband was home even if it was for just 30 to 45 minutes at the gym just to have time out for myself. I planned little outings for coffee with friends when I could too.

Post-partum depression isn't usually diagnosed for several months up to I think a yr after delivery. But "post-partum blues" are extremely common secondary to the significant change in your lifestyle, sleep patterns, and the feeling you have no time for yourself.

I totally understand the feeling to keep your little one protected from germs and illness especially this time of year and what you have already been through.

Hang in there is my suggestion. Exercise. If you can afford a night nanny, do it to get some sleep. Try to get out a little, even if its just to see a friend for coffee (bring hand sanitizer for anyone that touches your child if you are worried). As long as your little one is non mobile (not crawling), you can really prevent exposure pretty good with hand sanitizers and not going to a mall or play area where toys are shared. Try to make a deal with your husband about him being the weekend guy to get up with the baby and you the weekday (or try to split it up during the week) - although if you are still breastfeeding this is tough, you may want to pump.

Good luck. It does get better. Don't be afraid to get professional help if you need to, nothing to be ashamed of. Keep the faith. You can do it!

-S.

The first thing you should do is take a deep breath. I'm not sure what you mean by the abbreviation DH, but I know you are feeling. I often feel overwhelmed with my children for other reasons. Do you have a breast pump? Madela makes a great pump and breast milk can be frozen and thawed later. If you don't have a pump, I know there are places that you can rent them from; pump enough milk during the week for you to be able to have one whole day to yourself. Then, go to a day spa and have a massage, manicure (don't need the french manicure, just a manicure and nail polish) a pedicure and then go to dinner. Invite a girlfriend that you haven't seen in a while to join you. Good luck and I hope your baby gets better soon.