Ideas for Helping Parents of Preemie

I have twins that were born 2 months early and spent the first 4 weeks in the NICU. It's so nice of you to think of doing something special for the family. I know for me cooking wasn't an option when they came home (and were on oxygen). I think making some meals so such a nice thought!

This happened to a friend of mine as well. One thing they said was really great was that someone bought them a book on caring for premies. They need such different care, stuff most people wouldn't know anything about. I think it will help them deal with unexpected emotions as well as inform them on what to expect. Making dinner is always another great way to help. If they have a pet, offer to help walk it or play with it. You might want to mow their lawn or ask if you could run them any errands.

Hi K.,

As someone who has gone through this dinners are nice, but I am assuming that the little one is still in the NICU, so the parents probably aren't really spending much time at home. I know that I spent most of my days at the hospital next to my son. You could offer to do housework for them. That way they don't have worrry about coming home from the hospital to a dirty house or having to do laundry. They are really going to need your support. Wish the happy couple good luck!

Once they gat home and Since it's their first, she might be really cautious who she leaves the baby with......even if you know her well. With being a preemie, they might not go out much. But not having to cook is always great. What if you gave them gift cards of resturants that deliver in their area.....or that have a really good take-out that the husband can go get. Even some of the places that prepare the meals for you and all you have to do is pop them in the oven!

Dinners are always a great idea. Depending on how well you know the family, help with laundry or watching the baby so mom can take a shower or nap mg be really appreciated. They may feel strange asking for help, so starting with diners is a great first step. In a month or two, an opportunity for Mom & Dad to get out with adults will probably be really appreciated. Maybe you could recommend a great experienced sitter and the four of you could get out for dinner or a movie.

Schedule dinner deliveries for the next several weeks. Every other day. Then offer to do laundry for them also. And have several friends donate preemie diapers. They are so expensive and it would help them a little financially. Your heart is in the right place. Don't hesitate to ask the family what you can do for them. God wants us to be servants and you definately have a servants heart. God Bless.

Dinners are a great idea. They are probably under a lot of sress right now, and it'd be nice not to worry about what's for dinner.

my daughter was born 3 months early and weighed 1pound 5 ounces at birth.. so we were very very scared for the 1st month or so weather she would make it. thoughts of cooking dinner and cleaning the house were far from my mind. i spent most of my waking hours at my daughters bedside. i think gift cards to area restaurants around the hospital would be a wonderful idea. or even make plans to meet for lunch in the hospital cafe. i know it ment alot when freinds would come join me for lunch and give me support and a chance to release emotions.
my biggest thing was the moral support of friends. Just being there is wonderful. although coming home to clean laundry wouldnt have been awful.. lol

I really think the g.c. idea is a great one.. i spent alot of time eating out due to not wanting to come home to eat. so when it was shift change and they kick you out of the nicu for a half hour hubby and i ran and got a bite to eat.

tell your friend congrats!! and i will be thinking of her and her little one. also i belong to a great yahoo group for preemie parents you might want to pass on. www.preemiechat.com

t.c.
K.

If the baby still has to be in the NICU, then maybe help the parents who have to either be in the hospital with the baby or visit the hospital a lot. If that is the case, I think Giftcards to help them get through the day at the hospital. Maybe for pizza or chinese, who can deliver, or maybe offer to get the new parents a NICE dinner from some place they would normal 'date' at, like pick them up some Red Lobster food or something like that.

If and when the baby is at home, delivering food is a great idea. You know, for new parents, eating is sometimes the last thing on their mind. They need the nutrician and energy to care for their new baby. God Bless.

I don't know anything about preemies, per se. I'm sure it is incredilby stressful. Depending on how close you are, maybe you could bring a dinner over for them to eat at their convenience, do a load of laundry, run to the store, hang around while baby sleeps, so mom can sleep. How about some soothing music/sounds for parents and baby, scented oils? I think lavendar is suppose to be calming.

I'm sure they would appreciate anything and everything.

As the Mom of a preemie I can tell you dinners are a great idea. If the baby is still in the hospital and even when they come home, the baby will take up alot of time. Things like cooking, laundry and cleaning get pushed off and next thing you know you have no food in the fridge and no clean socks.

Meals & support are most helpful. The bay will be fine in time. The child will be on a machine for a while but that's to be expected. IF the child is at Children's Mercy....it's one of the best facilities in the world! Good luck & God Bless!

Making up individual meals that they can freeze and reheat when they need a quick meal would be great. New Mom's love this because they get very little sleep and the less cooking and housework they have to do the easier it is for them especially in that first month of trying to adjust to a newborn's schedule. Also a nice warm meal the first week they get out of the hospital along with a brief visit is nice as well. When we have new mom's at church we have several ladies that volunteer to make a meal for the new mom. Some of them will call and make an appointment to visit on a certain night that the Mom feels would be good for her schedule. I make up a baby basket with diapers and several supplies that would be needed the first few weeks and also take a meal and have a brief visit with the family when I deliver it to their house. Some of the ladies will just make up nice meals that can be put in the freezer and reheated when the family wants to eat it and will send it with me to deliver it with the basket. Another thing that would be nice is make up a grocery basket with quick foods, soups, etc. a gallon of milk and loaf of bread because Mom's need a lot of rest and don't want to be going to the store especially in those first few days of being out of the hospital. Diapers in all sizes are also nice and if you know they don't have a lot of preemie diapers then they would also appreciate those as newborns go through a pack of diapers every 2-3 days depending how big the packs are.

Gift cards to nearby restaurants are also very helpful and if the baby is still in the hospital get some for restaurants close to the hospital.

Because the parents are probably at the NICU a lot of the time, maybe get some gift cards for dinners out. I know it's more expensive that way but at least you know it'll get used and the casserole you made won't go to waste just sitting in the fridge!

I had my son 2 months early. Dinners would be great but so is just some one to talk to and not have to feel like you have to be strong and hold it all together. When my son was born he was 28 days in the NICU and I had to pretty much take care of things myself. It was hard at times to be the only one putting on a brave face and feel like I was alone.

Time to talk and time to rest and breathe can be very essential at this time.
Chellie

Dinners are a wonderful idea! If you have mutual friends, you could all work together and arrange for them to have their evening meal delivered to them for many nights in a row. Several years ago during a very stressful move, the girls at my church got together and each night for a week, someone brought a whole meal over around suppertime. I can't tell you what that meant to us. As tired and stressed out as we were, it was such a relief to not have to cook. It doesn't have to be fancy, just a casserole, veggie and bread.

Hi, K.
4 Years ago, I delivered twin girls that were preemie by 7 weeks and 3 days. The only thing I wanted to do of course was to sit with them in the hospital until they came home. One of the most caring things I expereinced during this time was a friend who offered to take me to the hospital every day so I could sit with me girls. Try that. If the baby is out of the hospital and home, they still take a tremendous amount of work. This same friend would come by and throw in a load of laundry for me, fill bottles, replace diapers on the changing table or bring me a hot meal. With a preemie, your whole life is consumed with taking care of that baby, be it in the hospital or at home. Anything at all (or any time) you can spare will be greatly appreciated. Simple things become the biggest burdens, and it's nice to let someone else take part of the load so you can concentrate on the baby. Hope this helps!
S.

Dinners are great for after the baby comes home. But for right now, how about individual packets of snacks, cookies,juices,sodas,chips,granola bars,candy etc....since they will be spending so much time at the hospital, it's nice to have something to snack on. Or some shelf-stable meals that they can microwave at the hospital (Armour,Chef-Boy-R-Dee etc) Sometimes, there isn't enough time to run out to eat between feedings. And sometimes, they just might not want to leave the hospital. How about an inflatable neck pillow or a cozy light-weight throw(ever try sleeping upright in a chair all night?)
Some nice hand lotion would be great too...all that antiseptic foam wash in the hospital really dries out your hands. Maybe some magazines or a good paperback. And at some hospitals, you can purchase a parking pass for them-- if they have to pay to park each day, it really adds up. Heck, even a gas card would be appreciated...think how many miles they will be putting on their cars....Try to think outside of the box. :)

My preemie twin sons spent 8 weeks in the NICU. One of the most thoughtful things that friends did was to bring dinners in individual portions that could be frozen and then reheated when we were home. Does your friend have their baby room finished? Helping complete the baby room and other housework can be a huge blessing. With the price of gas, a prepaid gas card could help with all the trips to the hospital. Does your friend have a digital camera? If not, film or disposable cameras would be appreciated. I know that when I went home at night, I would spend a lot of time looking at the pictures of my babies. Most importantly, be a friend with a compassionate ear. If your friend complains about being tired, don't tell them that they will be much more tired when the baby comes home. Right now they are experiencing stress that no parent should have to go through. I hope that the NICU doctors and nurses are as wonderful to them as ours were to us.