HI C.,
Some kids just need that extra security for a little while longer, don't they? :O)
I know my son did! He was a Pacifier kid, too, and was so sad the few times I mentioned one day he wouldn't have a pacifier.
To help, I did a couple of things that worked for me. The first thing I did, was I decided that he wasn't going to the Prom with that thing, so I needed to relax :O) It would be harder if he had been a thumb-sucker, right? So, after I shifted my "attitude", and I tried to take a different approach to the issue.
I found a small cardboard box that I decided to give him for his pacifier(s). He could decorate the anyway he wanted, but that box was for his pacifier, and it needed to stay right by his bed for resting and sleeping.
I tried to keep the pacifier associciated to only sleeping and resting. If he wanted his pacifier at any time, I said "of course you can have your pacifier, just go lay on your bed with it because it's for resting and sleeping only". This was what worked. Because he was also 3, he was "busy" playing with things and didn't always want to leave playing to get his pacifier. So, eventually, he stopped asking for it in the middle of the day. Occassionally, he would go in his room quietly, and get his pacifier, lay on his bed with it for a few minutes then come back out and play. I never acted like I knew. This was his experience with seperating from something he loved.
We did this for about 4-5 months, and when I thought it was time, I took the box and put it in my kitchen cupboard one night. He asked me where it was, and I told him I "cleaned his pacifier and forgot to put it back".... the next night I did the same thing and he fell asleep without it for 7 nights in a row and finally remembered to ask me for them. I said I was saving them for a new baby that was going to be born. He loved that idea :O)
C., the part that I am most proud of is myself :O) What was the rush to get him off the pacifier when so many other kids have their own different securities until sometimes the 3rd Grade, or more. Relaxing about it was the best thing I ever did, and that allowed me to handle the issue with more love than frustration.
Your daughter will be done with her pacifier, when she's done with it and doesn't need it anymore. Just help her understand why she needs it....to soothe her to sleep, not to concentrate on playing :O)
~N. :O)