Need Advice on Taking Two Year Old off Pacifier

Updated on June 17, 2008
S.N. asks from Baltimore, MD
29 answers

I attempted to take my two year old off her pacifier when she was 18mnths. It was a disaster. Cried until she made herself throw up. No one got any sleep in the house and she just seemed to be in mourning, so we gave in. Advise from mom's said, "wait until she's older, she'll give it up when she's ready. Well here we are at 26 mnths and she's still very possesive over the pacifier. She's only a part time pacie user.She only uses it in the car and at home. She doesn't take it to daycare. So, I know that doesn't sound to bad. But, here's my main concern. HER TEETH. I was thumb sucker and I have an overbite that alters my speech. I can already see her teeth pattern changing. I need creative suggestion on how I can get this thing away from her once and for all. Cold turkey is not an option. She is one of those children who will cry until the sun comes up. And that, I can not take, nor can my husband. PLEASE HELP.....

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K.P.

answers from Washington DC on

I'd like to think that I was my son's first true love, but it was his pacie. My daughter was born when he was only 15 months old, so I knew there was definatley going to be a fight with him giving it up, ESPECIALLY when the new baby had one. I don't know how many times we would rush into the next room because the baby was crying only to find my son extremley pleased with himself beacause he had stolen it from her. So....when it came time to give this habit up, we would let him take a certain amount of sucks off of it, really we would count to about 10 and then we would let him kiss it goodnight and we'd put it away. I know it sounds corny, but after about a week it wasn't that big of a deal for him. Also, "losing it" at times and acting a little sad with him when it couldn't be found helped.

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L.M.

answers from Dover on

My son was a heavy pacifier user. He had to have it all the time so when I wanted to wean him (around 13 - 14 months), I would wait until AFTER he fell asleep (just before I went to bed) to take the pacifier out of his crib. As long as he didn't have it when he woke, he would go all day without it but definately had to have it for bedtime...if he woke up with it, he had to keep it all day. Finally, he used it less at bedtime until we were able to skip it all together.

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J.S.

answers from Washington DC on

We had a "Bye, Bye Binki" party for my son. I planned it with him including the food for dinner, sweet treat and balloons. We let him take his binkis and "mail" them to the babies. He and my husband put them in a gift bag and took them to the mailbox, flag up and all. We did a prep before the party and like I said, I let him help plan and pick the menu. We had a big party (the 3 of us) and said bye bye to the binkis.

We (my husband and I feared the response that night), but he was GREAT!!! He had a wonderful time at his party and was so good about it. He did say that he wanted the binkis, but we reminded them about how they were going to babies and how much the babies needed them. We talked a lot about this prior and that he was a big boy and we were so proud of him for sharing his precious binkis. The babies were so lucky.

He mentioned it a few other nights and that was the end of it. It was a very easy way to go.

Good luck.

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K.S.

answers from Washington DC on

Hi S.,

We also had difficulty getting our 3 yr old son to give up his pacifier. He had been using it just at nap/bedtime until his brother was born when he was 2 yrs/2 mos old. Once that happened, he'd bring it out all the time & started to develop an open bite. What worked for us was agreeing upon a trade. He had been wanting a sprinkler for the yard. On a particularly hot day, I asked him if he wanted to go to the store & choose a sprinkler, but if he did, he'd have to pay with his "nonies". He agreed, we went & he chose a firetruck sprinkler and handed all the "nonies" to the cashier. He NEVER asked for them again & as a matter of fact, I found the bag of dry-rotted pacifiers a year or so later when we were packing to move! Bribery, I know, but it worked exceptionally well :)

The other suggestion I have heard, but not tried was to snip off the tip of the pacifier. She will still have it, but it won't feel the same. The mom who told me about this said her daughter told her that the pacifier was broken & decided she didn't want to use it anymore.

Best of luck

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H.D.

answers from Washington DC on

Hi, S.. We asked our twin daughters if they would give their binkys to the Easter Bunny (you can use santa or the binky fairy) so that he could give them to all the little babies that didn't have a binky. In exchange the Easter Bunny would leave them a special present to thank them. They were all for it and only asked about it a couple of times. When we reminded them that they had given them to the babies that needed them they were happy and soon forgot all about them.

My neighbor said that her doctor told her to start snipping off a little of the nipple part each weeek and that once her daughter realized that it wasn't worth the effort to try and suck it she would just stop asking for it. She said that worked like a dream. I think she snipped a little off every few (3-4) days and by the end of a couple of weeks the binky was gone and forgotten.

Good luck. I know how trying it can be. But once you make the commitment, don't give in because it will make it all that much harder to take away later.

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C.B.

answers from Norfolk on

Hi S.!

We just went through this with my son a couple months ago. We tried to go cold turkey and it was awful as well. He got really interested in the movie Cars, so we got him one of the matchbox cars from the movie. He started carrying that around, and we had him choose whether he wanted the car or the pacifier. He thought the car was more fun, so he started choosing the car instead. Eventually he wouldn't want the pacifier, and he said he was done with them and threw them away on his own. He was just over two when this happened, and he hasn't had the pacifier for almost 2 months now. Every once in a while he would ask for it, but then we would tell him that he didn't need it because he had his car now. It has been great so far!! You may be able to get a doll or something similar for your daughter that she may eventually like better than the pacifier. Good Luck!!

Hope this helped, C.

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L.C.

answers from Washington DC on

Start with ONLY letting her have it at bedtime.It is a start and eventually you can wean her off.

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L.A.

answers from Charlottesville on

I took my daughter's pacifier away when she was 1 1/2 and that went fine but she picked up a habit of chewing on things after that. I think it started b/c she was teething and then became a habit to sooth herself. We call them her chewies but they are hanker chiefs that she chews on when she goes to sleep. At first she would chew her blankets and clothes so that is why we bought them for her to chew so it wouldb't be such a destructive habit. I am not sure this is any better than a pacifier but it has not done any damage to her teeth. She is almost 3 and just went for her 1st dentist apt and everything was fine. So maybe give your daughter something to replace the pacifier with that won't damage her teeth.

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A.H.

answers from Washington DC on

Hey, S.. Weaning anyone off ANYTHING is difficult.
My oldest was "hooked" on her binkie. We never thought we would stop her from using it. My main concern was, also, her teeth. When she bit down her teeth did not connect. I limited her use to the car and bed. Then I weaned her to just bed. Sometimes she wanted her binky during the day and I told her she had to go to bed to have it. It wasn't long before she didn't like being in bed ALL day. When a friend told me about the "Binky Fairy" I had a little hope. The "Binky Fairy" takes binkies from big boys and girls and gives them to babies around the world who need them. When she takes the binkies she leaves a present in its place. I took her to the toy store often, to see what she would like from the "Binky Fairy". I would constantly remind her that when she gives up her binkies she could have a present. She was about 3 1/2 before she decided she wanted The Twelve Dancing Princesses Barbie doll "really badly". She put her binks in a bag, we set it out for the fairy, and in the morning she had her gift. She told everyone about the "Binky Fairy" and carried her Barbie everywhere to show others she gave them up. The best part? She is now five and her teeth have completely grown back together. I hope this has helped. Good luck and remember, you are doing the best job you can!

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S.L.

answers from Washington DC on

Try taking her to the store, buying her a small stuffed animal or doll and having her pay for it with her paci.

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M.F.

answers from Washington DC on

We had the same situation with our youngest but she is now pacifier free. We told her every day for a couple of weeks that the "Pacifier Fairy" was coming (or substitute whatever word you use for pacifier). The Pacifier Fairy takes pacifiers from big kids and gives them to new babies. We talked up the fact that she was a big kid and she could help the new babies by giving them her pacifier. She seemed excited about that. We also made sure she had another comfort object to be attached to. In her case, she has a special blanket and a special stuffed animal. We made sure she always slept with these other items (along with her paci) and became very attached to them. Then one day, we collected all the pacifiers (she helped!) and we left them out one night for the fairy to collect. The next morning, the pacifiers were gone and there was a special reward in their place that was something only a big girl could have.

For a few day, she was upset at bed time, but she had her other comfort objects and we reminded her that she is a big girl with a new big girl toy and that the new babies were so happy with her pacis.

I know this doesn't work for everyone, but it really worked for us and she was off the paci at around age 2.

I hope that helps! Good luck!

D.M.

answers from Norfolk on

I had the smae issue with my daughter, she was a "binkaholic" as we called it. And our dentist was concerned with her teeth as well. Even though a binky (pacifier) is much softer than a thumb, and most of the time the teeth will go back to "normal" after you are able to get rid of it. My dentist told me a great idea. He said to talk about it for a while before actually doing it. Tell her the "Binky Fairy" is going to come and take all of her binkys and leave her a present. (the name could be different if you wanted to change it to fit whatever you daughter calles her pacifier)My daughter is all about fairies and princesses and loves my little ponies as well. So it was a really good sell, she bought into it and after talking it up for a month or so, she was so excited to give up her binkys for a new pony toy. The night we did it we had her put all of her pacifiers into a baggy, not even giving her one to suck on, and put the bag under the pillow. She went to sleep, we pulled the old switcheroo, and in the morning she was thrilled to have a new toy. The next couple of nights were a little hard, she cried for it, but we let her sleep with her new toy, and kept telling her the binkys were gone, remember, you gave them to the binky fairy for a new toy, isn't that so great, now you are a big girl. Anyhow, you have to word things just right, make it very exciting, and most of all, make her involved. If she does everything, she will be more happy than if it was just taken away cold turky. And remember to really talk a lot about it with her before the actualy day. It really helped prepare my daughter and was quite painless. God Bless!!

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L.M.

answers from Richmond on

I have no clue if you have heard about the show Jon & Kate Plus 8. When they had to take there sextuplets pacifier away that had there family member that had a younger child come over & they told there children that the baby needed there pacifiers bacause they were big children now. Kate thought that she & Jon would have a hard time but, they didn't. They did let the children suck on it one last time. If the show shows everything it really did work. Best of luck!

L.

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S.K.

answers from New York on

I just recently cut my 2 year old from the binker as well...
What I did was take the bink, and cut off the nipple down to about 1/4 inch away from the back of the faceplate, so the actual rubber part was only long enough for her to grab it with effort by her front teeth.
I gave it back to her that way and after about 2 nights of grumping over it she just tossed it.

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S.F.

answers from Washington DC on

Hi S.!

Being a "finger" sucker myself and having 2 children who were "addicted" to their pacifiers this one is hard! Here's what I did with both my kids. We had the "binkie fairy" come visit us one night. For about 3-5 before hand we talked about how they wree getting bigger and that their were babies in the world that didn't have "binkies" (that's what we called our pacifiers) that we need to have the binkie fairy come and taking them to the babies and families that really needed them now. Same concept as to the tooth fairy, they would then, when you thought they were ready, put the binkie under their pillow themsleves. Then in the middle in the night the binkie fairy would come take the pacifier and leave them a present - whatever you think they REALLY want - can be a stuffed animal, car, truck, some kind of toy. My son received a toy; my daughter recieved a "fairy" doll that she swears is the "tooth" fairy! :o)

It sounds like she is ready to give it up but just needs a little reassurance that it's time. Maybe if she realizes that another less fortunate baby needs she will be more willing to give it up then you making her :o)

Good Luck!

S.

L.C.

answers from Washington DC on

We weaned him... slowly..
We told him that since he was a big boy, he could only use the binky in his room. He had to leave it on his bed or nightstand during the day. That worked well. After a few weeks of this we told him that he couldn't use it during the day, only at night. We think eventually, he just stopped using it... We kept telling ourselves that he wouldn't be bringing the binky to college.

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S.G.

answers from Washington DC on

With my niece, she was 2 almost 3 when we got her to give up her pacifier. We got her to give it up because the daycare owner, who is also her grandmother, told her that big girls don't suck pacifiers so she had to check it at the door. Then at night the way they broke her was they promised her a trip to Kings Island if she would give it up. That did it.

On another note, my daughter uses pacifiers developed by orthodontist and they change as the baby changes and gets teeth. I was a thumb sucker until I was 10 and it is a real psychological thing and I feel for you.

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F.S.

answers from Washington DC on

Why stress yourself and your child out by getting rid off their pacifier. My son who is now 4 1/2 and has perfect teeth, had his pacy until he was 3. We also tried to take his pacifier away, but it was so stressful for him and us we gave up. At 2 1/2 we started telling him that when he turned 3 he would have to throw his pacy in the trash. The morning he turned 3 he asked us if he was 3 now and we told him YES. He took all of his pacifiers and threw them in the trash. Later he did ask for them, but we just kept telling him that the trash man took them away. He seemed to be o.k with it since he was the one who nmade the decision to get rid of them. We did the same thing with potty training. He threw all of his diapers away (I really kept them for his baby brother) and he only wore big boy pants. He was potty trained at 2 1/2. GOOD LUCK :)

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A.G.

answers from Washington DC on

My daughter is 25 months old and for at least two months we would only give it to her to sleep, we would just say you are a big girl now. She would cry for it, but we would distract her with other things. About two weeks ago now we took it all together and she wasn't happy about it at all. She cried a lot, but we just talked to her and let her know that they are for babies and she is a big girl now. After about a week she really didn't even ask for one anymore. Every once in a while she will. She found one in the car the other day and laughed. She knew she wasn't supposed to have it and she gave it to me with out even crying. I know it is hard but they cry because thats all they know and they don't like change, but you need to be strong and both of you will get through it. I thought it was going to be the hardest thing to do. Everyday got a little easier. I hope this helps.

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K.S.

answers from Washington DC on

My niece was 3 when we took her off the pacifier. She happened to lose it in the house and we decide not to look for it. We told her the binki went to "Binki Heaven" and that she was a big girl and can go without it. The first night was terrible. She cried all night, kept me and my sister up but in the morning we had a special breakfast for her. The next 2 nights were better than the first. After the 3rd night without binki we had a "Bye-Bye Binki Party" for her at daycare. She got to go and pick out the cake and choose the ice cream. From then on she never asked for the binki and as a matter of fact we also gave up the doll she slept with. The first night is always going to be the hardest and your child now knows that if she makes herself throw up then she gets the paci back. Just stay the course, it will take a few days but reward her each day for making it through the night without it. She will get over it, eventually. Good luck!!

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L.S.

answers from Washington DC on

Hi, I just had to write because my 33 month old still has her paci. She is only allowed to use it when she is in bed. So she wakes up in the morning and says," bye bye paci" and if she wants it during the day I tell her that she needs to go and lay down in her bed to get it. Of course a 2 year old does not want to go to bed but the first few days she would go to her room, lay in her bed and suck for a few seconds and then come right back out again. Now she still has it to sleep with but we are starting to talk about sending them to the babies that need them. So I'm sure very soon, we will be taking them and putting them in an envelope and going to the post office and asking them to toss it in the trash for us, but she will think they are being sent to a little baby who really needs it because she is a big girl and she no longer needs it. We've read all the books and tried the cold turkey but we have a one year old who still uses it so it's been very hard to get the two year old to stop when she just takes it out of her sister's mouth. I hope this helps in some way.

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A.P.

answers from Washington DC on

I just took my 3 year old off of the pacifier. He used it only for sleeping so it wasn't as often as your daughter uses it. I tried telling my son the paci fairy took it and would leave him a present, he was ok with that for about a half an hour then told me he wanted her to bring it back lol. So the next night I took it away but gave him a choice of whatever he wanted to replace it as a comfort object. He chose a matchbox car and a bottle of water (not a baby bottle). Perhaps that method would work for you.

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P.N.

answers from Washington DC on

I have heard a few moms say that they took their children to Build-A-Bear Workshops and had the children put the pacifiers in a stuffed animal. They make it a big deal, a very special time for the children to say goodbye to the pacifier, but then it's not goodbye because the pacifier is still with them, just inside the stuffed animal.

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D.J.

answers from Washington DC on

I had the same problem six years ago. My daughter is now 8 but still has an issue with putting things into her mouth. She was about two years old when I told her no one night. We didn't get much sleep for about three days. After that she would ask for it but she was able to sleep without it. My Pediatrician suggested that we tell her that other babies needed the pacifiers and there weren't enough to go around. We didn't use that story. I just told her that she was getting too old to use one. I have to be on her often about taking things out of her mouth still to this day. Good luck, I too think it is important for her teeth to stop it soon.

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L.B.

answers from Washington DC on

Hi S.,
My daughter, Yasmine was a pacifier baby and I played a little game with her, One day she had lost her paci and I said ok lets play hide and seek, Your paci is hiding so lets try to find it, we searched and every time I would say paci where are you come out come out where ever your are, so we searched all day and so I told her I think the paci went home to his/her mama and papa, because the paci missed her/his parents, then I said I will get you one tomorrow, but as she went to bed she used to have a blanket also, so she just held the blanket over night and the next day she said mama can we look for my paci I said sure and we played the game again, we didn't find it so i said well baby I'm sorry no paci and she forgot all about it in two days, she cried the first day but because she had a blanket it helped. If your daughter has a favorite stuffed animal or a blanket it will kinda get her mind off of the paci, but try the hide and seek game with her. Good Luck Lena

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M.C.

answers from Dover on

I saw on Supernanny a very creative way to get rid of pacifiers. Supernanny had the toddler decorate a "mailbox" (shoebox) for the pacifier fairy (or whatever u call her pacifier) and told the toddler that other smaller babies need them now. She got hers when shewas born from an older kid, the fairy brought them to her and now its time for her to pass them on to other little kids. So then they put the mailbox outside on the porch and put the binkys inside. The next morning, they ran outside to see if the pacifiers were gone- which they were and a little prize of some sort was in its place. Ive seen supernanny do different versions of that a few times, all for kids likes yours who dont want to get rid of them. It always seems to work wonders- kids must like the idea of giving them to other little kids.
Good luck :)

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B.W.

answers from Washington DC on

I saw another response about cutting the tip, so I thought I would let you know what worked for us. I have two children one 4 and one 2. I did the cut the tip method for both of mine. First thing I did was limit to nap/bedtime for both at about 12 months. My son by 18 months we started slowly cutting the tip off. We went with first just a tiny hole, then every couple of days cutting more off. This worked very well. It took less than two weeks. My daughter was a little more stubborn. We didn't start the cutting the tip till after her 2nd birthday. This didn't really phase her for a while. Now I was not as consistant about cutting it every couple of days either. Our life was a little more stressful when it was time to take her off it. It took her about a month to be fully off it. I would also stop using it in the car before the cut it off. Get in the routine of having your daughter put it in the crib after bed time and just re-inforce that they stay in the crib b/c they are for night night only. It is a good sign that she doesn't use it at day care. I also don't know how many you have floating around the house, but it is good during this stage to limit it to 2 or 3. This way you know where they all are. Hope this helps. Good luck!

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E.B.

answers from Dover on

I know you said cold turkey isn't an option and I've seen some good responses but I was in your situation and figured I'd go ahead and share my experience with you. My daughter was all about her binky...crying for it if she lost it in her sleep, when she got hurt...she'd ask for that for comfort, etc. I was dreading the day that I would have to take it away from her for fear of no sleep and a lot of crying for it. At her 2 year well baby check-up, the doctor said we needed to get rid of the binky. I said..."Any ideas how because she'll have a fit?" He told me cold turkey. I was like. "Are you kidding me? Are you nuts!?!" Well, come Easter time, we decided that we'd give it a try (mainly because my boyfriend's parents would be in town and slept in her room and they volunteered to take care of her if she'd awaken in the middle of the night crying for it). Sure enough, we took it away one morning and if she'd ask for it, we would say that the "tweet tweet" (she just learned that that's the noise a bird makes) came and took it away and she was fine with it. We never mentioned the word again and all is well. I was also told that she'd get rid of it on her own when it was time...I think it amazes me to see MUCH older children with binky's in their mouths. I didn't want my daughter to be "that child". :-) Hope this helps and good luck with it. It's actually a lot easier than you think. :-) Good Luck!

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