If We Pay, Is It Ok to Plan the Trip?

I would plan out the entire trip from the moment you wake up until you go to
sleep. It could get pretty dicey with another family. Are you paying for just
the house or for the entire trip. If you are only paying for the house then
everyone has a say in the daily activities and cost. If you are paying for it
all then they just go along with everything.

$20,000 to stay at at Disney resort? I do not think so. Even if you stayed
at one of the deluxe hotels for a month it would not cost that!

You don't have to do everything together or be rigid in the plans. You guys can plan a day for you at SeaWorld while they go to Disney that day. SeaWorld is everywhere, so I can see why they would rather go to Disney. You all can split up on what Parks you go to, like spend the morning together having breakfast and seeing one attraction together, then you all can split ways and meet up for lunch or dinner, or back at the hotel when they are ready. Just create a general plan and allow for customizations.

As far as skipping SeaWorld... is there anything that says you have to be together the entire time? Could each family plan a few days for themselves? That way, you could easily enjoy Seaworld without the other family being bored, and they could enjoy a different day.

Are they paying their admissions to the different venues, or are you literally paying for everything?

And... I agree with your hubby.... if I was invited to do something, I did what the host was doing... I didn't ask to do or go someplace different. I was just grateful to be invited along.

I think it is ok to plan but maybe ask them some specific questions like "Do you prefer Restaurant A or Restaurant B?", "Would you rather spend two days at this park or one each at A and B?"

That way, they have some input but within what you are willing to offer and not open-ended.

If I remember correctly, you guys are taking this family and the man (dad) is going to serve as a type of aide for your husband, since he sometimes needs extra help? Really, I think the accommodations are all yours to dictate, but I think they can be free to do other activities during the times your husband is not needing the man's help.

In my opinion, when you are on someone else's "ticket" so to speak, you go along with the plans.
If you have something planned that they, for whatever reason, choose not to include themselves in, then they can stay behind for the day.

You are going somewhere, paying for it, and being gracious to invite someone else.
Changing your plans for every little whim will make you crazy and regretful that you invited them.
Just make an itinerary and stick with it.

I'm very go-with-the-flow. Next time you want to share a trip, let me know!

:)

Have a great time!

Hey there MMM - I would not plan the details to a T - I would say "in the morning on Tuesday, we can go to X park, and split up after noon" or meet for designated periods throughout the day, or spend every other day together. Ultimately, it sounds like your goal is to have a relaxing, refreshing time, as I'm sure it is theirs as well. I would certainly not try to spend every minute together or you will very quickly tire of each other. Bear in mind too, they may not be able to afford to choose which restaurant they can eat at - what may be an ideal option for you may be out of their budget, which will make them uncomfortable. I think I partially plan the trip, but also allow for some leniency as well. You'll want to time spend with your own family too! And that way, if you DO end up spending a good deal of time together, it'll be mutually fun with little stress.

As for spending $20k onsite, unless you're going for a month, I am a Disney Travel Agent, and have never seen a Disney vacation that high for any of my clients, not even to the new Hawai'i resort, Aulani. If you're interested, I'd be more than happy to give you a proper quote and some suggestions on how you can stay there and enjoy some of the benefits, such as the DIsney Transportation services that can ensure you don't have to wait on them to go back and forth to your rooms if you need a rest break (and vice versa!), and other perks like Early Magic Hours, which are times before and after the park is open to regular guests, where you as a resort guest are allowed into the parks. You can message me, or email me if you like. It's no charge for me to look into it for you.

Who says you have to do everything together?

We paid for 2 families with children to join us on Disney property Polynesian in the Concierge tower and it was not close to $20,000 for the 10 of us all with separate rooms for our families.

We did some things together such as some character dinners, etc but as far as parks, we all pretty much did what we wanted to do and met up for meals, parks we all wanted to visit together, etc.

Even though we were paying for the 10 people, I did not want to make them think they had to do things my way because I was paying. I wanted them to enjoy the trip as well. I planned a couple character dinners because it is imperative that is done in advance but we just enjoyed sharing our experiences with each other at the end of the day, at the Polynesian beach or pool the rest of the time.

Don't put so much pressure on yourself. They should be capable of figuring out some things they want to do on their own.

I would plan the trip down to if you will eat at the condo for meals or what restaurant you were planning on eating at. Also include the cost of the event/ ave. price per person at a restaurant, if they are expected to pay for themselves. Then email it to her, then if she has an issue with the schedule she can let you know.

If they are telling you to plan it, go ahead and plan it. But allow for some flexibility and also be open to splitting up once in awhile. For example, if they really don't want to do Sea World and you do, they can do something different that day. Or, since it sounds like they are only coming with you for part of your vacation, do Sea World before they come or after they leave. Your family will have more fun if you aren't spending that day with people who don't want to be there.

I don't think the things they asked you are out of line (maybe bringing Grandma, but not the other stuff) and it sounds like they are not being demanding and just want to go with the flow. Make it fun for everyone. Don't go into it with the mindset of "we're paying so they have to do what we say," but also don't give up things that are really important to you.

I would do a general plan at least every couple of days. I might tell them that during the time that it is not meal time they are welcome to do what they want within the confines of the allowed activities. I have not been there so don't know what is expected.

So, if I were inviting someone to join me at the local zoo and Omniplex, other museums, etc...I would plan the itinerary like this.

8am breakfast at XX for about 30 minutes, go in to the zoo complex. Get the stamps and other stuff so that all is taken care of and they won't be shut out of anything.

at noon we will meet at XX restaurant for lunch.

After lunch we are attending the Planetarium's light show, if you'd like to see it with us let me know so we can meet up outside.

at 3pm we will meet at XX for snacks

Then at 6pm we will meet for dinner.

This way they get to have some alone family time too. Other days you will have a much tighter schedule and be together every minute. That will get old if you expect them to want to do the same exact things that your family likes.

It will be a lot more fun if you only plan one or two activities together each day. It can also work out where you are going t the same places as each other all day but just having the freedom to say "Hey, I want to go check out XXX" then go is a wonderful feeling.

If there is an emergency then calling the other family on their cell is allowed and expected. I would enjoy a trip like this but would want to spend at least some time with my own family and not have responsibilities to attend some show I would not like.

I know I would thoroughly enjoy The Gilcrease museum but kiddo's would not enjoy more than a few minutes. I would want to go with hubby and leave the kiddo's to do some activity with the other kids. If there are activities that they don't want to attend why make them go? Let them do something during that time. If you would have paid $100 for them to go to Seaworld then perhaps handing them some cash and allowing them to choose to do something else would be fine.

why would it cost over 20k to stay on site?
We spent less than 1500 for a week at Disney staying on site. purchased through the Disney website.

But anyway , yeah it's totally ok to plan the trip , I would !

Plan it out and give them the outline for the week. If they want to do something else, let them, as long as you aren't getting stuck with the bill when they bail. Whatever you do, don't make reservations for them under your credit card if it costs YOU in case they don't show up. For instance, a party of 8, including your party of 4 and their party of 4, and you go to the restaurant and they decide not to. In addition, I will tell you point blank that Disney ripped me off for a $50 fee because I changed my night going to a particular restaurant that charged $50 to make a reservation. They did not credit me that $50 for the night I cancelled. So it cost me that $50 penalty to change nights, though they promised me that it was fine to change nights and they would credit it. Two hours on the phone, and nothing was resolved. I will never go to the restaurants that I have to use a credit card for a reservation again there.

I'm so glad you are being VERY specific in what you will not do. Good for you.

Dawn

I agree you should plan the days' itinerary and encourage you to plan the meals with them. We're going on our fourth year of vacationing and splitting the cost with two of sisters and their families and a third sister's family comes along for free. The first year we planned every meal, in family meeting two weeks prior to trip, and split the meals such as I cooked the first days meals for all and I brought all my ingredients for all the meals I was responsible for. We amended that the following year to who would bring salt, sugar, etc.. because we learned we didn't need three containers, just one. We also shared in preparing the meal, but one head chef so to speak, which we rotated. This arrangement has worked best for us so far. We continue to plan weeks ahead and divvy up the grocery shopping list. It is really helpful to clarify right down to the brand of cereal each family prefers, coffee, snacks, etc...If you will be eating all your meals at restaurants it is helpful to know if the restaurant offers variety in the menu, my family likes spicy food and one of my sisters does not; I'm OK with semi-homemade meals and another sister who is used to entirely homemade (too much work while on vacation). It is also helpful to plan ahead because it removes expectations that others may have and brings to the forefront of mind that compromises will be crucial to enjoying the trip. Good luck and hope the vacation will be a success.

When we have invited people it was kind of like what you said. Where would you like to go to dinner and things like that. I mean obviously you don't want to go to a steak house if they are vegetarians.

Perhaps they made the on property suggestion thinking they could pay the difference and both would have a better trip. Who knows.

You have already committed yourself, so smile & answer questions. I would suggest that they use their own vehicle, that way if they want to go somewhere other than Seaworld they can or they can simply stay @ the place where you are staying while in Orlando. They can do their own thing when your doing yours & you can meet @ so & so place @ so & so time for lunch, etc..

If I had to do EVERYTHING that my host/hostess was doing for vacation, I wouldn't go.

Enjoy yourself, stop stressing about what THEY want & concentrate on all the fun things you have planned for YOUR family, the vacation will be alot more fun that way & no one will feel obliged to do something they don't want to do.

Have fun!!!!

Yikes what kind of rooms cost $20,000 to stay on site?! You are only going for a week, right? I just checked expedia and rooms at the Disneyland Hotel are $387 per night, and $777 per night and the (newer) Grand Californian.

You have posted questions/concerns about going with this family before. We have traveled with other families in the past but it's always been a little tricky and awkward at times. Plus you have the added issue of two people with disabilities. I would think long and hard about it, the last thing you want to do is waste your family's precious vacation time in a weird and stressful situation.