Iis It Better to Continue Daycare or Stay Home AFTER New Baby Comes Home?

You may want to just cut back on the time he goes. It might be nice for both of you to have some "away" time so he can play and you can bond with the new baby.

I wouldn't hold the spot. We do have bills. Not only that, but most of us can in no way hold a spot for the new baby. Usually when a mom gets pregnant we end up losing them after the birth and they move onto new daycare. Occasionally, the new birth coincides with a child starting school. If you are willing to pay for 1/2 the spot, many providers will hold a space. I won't. My bill collectors won't take 1/2 payment for 3-4 months.

You will be very happy to have your son in school 3 out of 7 days once you are home with your newborn. TRUST ME LOL

Your husband should gladly take over the dropping off and picking up of your toddler while you stay and bond/relax/get into a routine (for yourself, not baby) with the new baby.

My children will be 5.5 years apart. This was great for us because 1st born got a lot of Mommy and Me time alone. This next baby will be getting a lot of alone time with Mommy too, because Big Sister will be in 1st grade!

I hope to take at least 6 months off from full time schedule at work, and do PRN or low part time hours. I'm an LPN but going to school in January to get my RN... and will have to work too. Fun times!

As others said, it totally depends on your daycare situation, for starters. Are you in a center, or home based? You need to see what Maternity time for parents policies they have, and if none are written out, ask.

I do licensed home childcare in MN, and have never had a specific Maternity time policy. Its very difficult for me to "hold a spot" without being paid for it. I need to generate income from the spots as this is my livelihood. When a parent comes to me to see about a baby spot (also hard to come by...many tell me BEFORE trying, or tell me ASAP when the litlte test stick turns to positive to see if the timing works out..sorta weird for me to be such a part of their personal lives...LOL), that is when we discuss these things. Every situation will be different. If I could afford the rate drop froma 5 day week, to a 2 or 3 day week (perhaps having them "share a spot" temporarily over the summer months for a lighter schedule for me, ensuring I will reap the benefit of having returned FT status for them PLUS FT for an infant spot...it may be worth it to me...but every situation will be different and I personally have the luxury of deciding this for my own business.

Centers are likely to have a written out policy.

As others said, you may prefer the few hours a week break and your older child likely will too for the structure and socialization it will bring and continuted learning curve he is growing with.

Good luck!

Please please keep up the routine for your 18 month old. You will benefit from the downtime to spend with your newborn. After you get settled then you can look at changing things up a bit. Take advantage of the care while you can. Congrats

having the one-on-one time with the new baby would be pretty nice. but i think it would also be wonderful for your little family to enjoy this time together. and saving money is always nice. i vote for one day in daycare, and the rest of the time home, assuming of course that your daycare will allow that.
khairete
S.

My ds was 3 when I had my dd. I kept him in daycare 2-3 days a week. It gave me a chance to have one on one with dd and kept ds in routine. He was able to be with his friends and play (be 3!) without me having to worry about waking the baby. It was the best decision for us and I would do it again. Good luck.

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!

In MY opinion - he needs to be kept to his routine. you will be tired. a second baby is stressful...really - just like the first one - you will need rest and just time to recoup.

Day cares DO hold spots - you just need to talk to them and tell them your concerns. However, I would NOT change his routine.

Why make your husband go 20 minutes out of his way? You CAN do this. I am not one to let children hold me back from doing things. When my 1st son was released from the hospital - we went to the Outback. No kidding.

When the second got out and was approved for travel (he was born with pneumonia and was considered a 50/50 baby - 50% chance he wouldn't make it) we went on a two week vacation with my parents in their motorhome.

You will need to get out of the house. You will need to go grocery shopping. So make your list PRIOR to taking your son to day care and go shopping on your way home.

You'll get into a routine. You'll get it going. YOU CAN DO THIS!!

I have a home daycare and have been doing this for 17 years, when my oldest was 2 months and continued through the birth of my next 2. It is a rare daycare that will guarantee your spot without payment. I would suggest for the good of all, that he continue going, perhaps you could do 2 days a week instead of 3. Have you checked with your provider to see if the daycare will have a spot for the baby as well? 4 months is a long time to hold a spot unless you are paying something. I have a mom on maternity leave, she is taking an extended leave, and although I should have a spot when she comes back in a few months, she is not paying me to hold it, so there are no guarantees. My bills still have to be paid and if someone else comes along to pay now, I would have to do it. I am almost full, so am okay to not take anyone else, unless the child was over a year, so I could still take the infant.

You will probably hav to pay a certain percentage of his normal rate to hold your sons slot at that point why not send him kind of a waste of money topay if he isn't going. Also if he stays home with you for 4 months it's going o be h*** o* him when you go back to work.

Thanks for asking this question! I am in the same position as you, except I am further along than you.

First, my LO will be 2 a week after we have this one and he is in an at-home daycare. Our daycare lady was the 3 person to know we were pregnant (after my husband, sister, and one SIL) and said she could take both. All of her kids are teachers kids so it is a little different for us because we know that she does part-time in the summer for sure (which is amazing!!).

Since you both are already used to him going 3 days a week, it will give you time for BOTH, bonding with the new one and resting, as well as getting to see your toddler! I would have actually suggested doing part-time if you could, but since that is already what you do, I would say you are in a great position!

As for the husband dropping off etc, I would say this is something you will have to wait and see how you are feeling afterwards. My first delivery was rough on my body and I was on bedrest for 1 week afterwards due to stiches and bleeding etc. I know others that have kids and are out and about the same day! If you are sore or nervous about driving, let him handle it for the first week or two and then see how it is afterwards. Getting out by then will become a necessity so you will be able to help out!

Congrats and awesome for you to get 4 months!!! I get 6 weeks and then it is back to the grind!

Talk to the center about the minimum to keep his spot. It would be nice to have him home a little more and save some money, BUT it'll also be nice to have a break and some baby time as well (in addition to keeping his spot).

First of all, congratulations! My kids are 2.5 years apart and it is great.

My daughter was in daycare 5 days/week when my son was born. I left her in the full five days for the first month when I was really exhausted, recovering, etc. For the next 3 months (I also had 4 months off), I cut back and sent her 2-3 days/week. I thought that was good because I got to spend some extra time with her, and saved on daycare costs in that time frame too. I also got a little one-on-one time with the new baby, which I liked because "poor second baby" just doesn't get the same amount of attention as the first one : )

Do you only have one car? I just loaded the baby up for drop off and pick up. My husband would help sometimes, but since I was home her daycare day could be a little shorter, so I did most of the driving.

Anyway, that's what I did. Since he's only in 3 days, it's a slightly different scenario. Also, you should talk to your daycare about whether they'll hold the spot. A lot do, but some don't. The good news is that you have a little bit of time to figure this out.

Good luck.

I would keep him in daycare. I just went through the same and having a toddler at home while adjusting to a newborn is a lot to deal with. He's only just approaching terrible two's which last until about 4 from what I hear :) We kept our 3 year old home on Friday's just because my husband was able to be home and help out. Not only did it give me a break, but it also kept him in a regular routine and he was able to play with friends. I know it could save money (trust me, I thought of that) but you also need your sanity!

check with the day care. and id keep him home for the time your going to be home too.
our day care is really great never given me a problem- as long as they have notice. and maybe even a return date..
i actually plan on doing it this summer.. :-)

When I was pregnant with my 2nd child, I was still providing inhome childcare so that I could make a little money but also so my eldest could have friends and playmates (2 great boys). When I was in the third trimester and unable to continue working, I actually enrolled my son into a mother's day out program. I felt strange about it, but I needed some rest, which was something I wasn't really going to get much of with an active almost-3 year old boy! And I was looking at what was going to happen after the baby....looking for things that would help my son feel like he had a life, so he wouldn't be jealous or feel like he was being replaced, but he'd have some fun, some friends, things to talk to me about, but I could get a nap and just focus on the baby when he was born during the "school" hours. Also, everyone I'd spoken with had told me to put him in earlier than later so he wouldn't feel like he was "sent away" because of the baby, but more that he had his routine already set and was happy with it before the baby came. I had him going just Tuesdays and Thursdays, and even though I didn't go back to Bible study for a couple months, a good friend of mine from my Bible study would pick him up and take him to the church on Wednesday mornings, which is where he ALWAYS went before. (Her grandchild and my child were best friends and in the same church class). Those 12 hours a week were SO helpful! And then when he was home, I could feed the baby while he told me all about his adventures in "school" or church and tell me what he was learning, the classroom "gossip", all about his new friends, etc. He felt like a big boy that way, and I think it was good to do a part time childcare...if you can, that is what I'd suggest.

The child care will not hold his place, think of the hundreds of dollars they would lose. I say keep him to his regular schedule.

Keep him in. You'll treasure those 3 days so that you can recover and bond with the new baby, and it will help him to maintain his routine and have someplace fun to go. Being at home with a new baby is no picnic for a toddler - you'll legitimately be busy caring for a newborn and he won't get that you can't just drop everything and attend to him like you used to, and that he has to be quiet, wait, amuse himself while you feed and change, etc.. If he likes his daycare, he might feel like the new baby ruined his fun and took his friends away. My kids were in daycare 2x per week and with my mom the other three. I kept them in daycare while on maternity leave and gave my mom the other three days off because I felt guilty asking her for help, but some of those days were hell for all of us lol! Also, most centers won't hold a spot for you unless there is someone who happens to just need temporary care whose schedule happens to match yours, which is not something you can count on. I was a gestational carrier a while ago and took 6 weeks of disability off from work and even though I wasn't caring for the babies, I still kept up my daycare schedule(s) for my own kids because I needed that time to rest and recover.

Regarding transportation, if you have a routine delivery you should be able to do that yourself once you feel well. As Sue H. mentioned below, most of us manage to do drop off with an infant in tow. Your baby will spend a ridiculous amount of time in his car seat - my youngest literally slept in his until he was 7 months old because it was where he slept best! Sue that mom would have been me lol - my 3rd was born on a Thursday and we were picked up our older kids from their after-school program on the way home from the hospital on Friday and I went in. The staff was like "um, didn't you give birth like yesterday?" After my 4th delivery (the gestational carrier one) I delivered on Tuesday and was at Target shopping for Halloween costumes Wednesday evening. I'm one of those moms who can't wait for life to get back to the normal routine!

I don't agree with Sue's assessment that 99% of mom's do the commute instead of Dad's, or that NO daycares will hold your spot. These statistics are made up, I can tell you for sure because not only did neither of them apply to me (or any of my friends or my sister), but just read the other posts from Mama who are giving very different scenarios, right?

My kids are 17 months apart. My son had been going to an in-home daycare so he continued to go a few days a week right after the new baby came home & was kind of passed around between my mom & sister for a few weeks because I had a c-section the 2nd time around & he was still in diapers. Once I could handle both kids, I did, but seriously, I did not drive for weeks after having my daughter & my son still went to daycare part-time which means Daddy picked up the slack.

Just call your daycare & see how they handle this type of situation, I'm sure they have some sort of protocall. I do agree with the other moms that you may find you prefer your oldest to be in daycare just those 2-3 days a week not only to give you a break somewhat, but also to give you the one-on-one bonding time you'll need with the new baby.

spots are not held in a daycare. That is a very rare occurence. You have to still pay for the spot if you want it later on.

99% of all of my Moms still do the commute to daycare on their own.....even with the new baby. Sometimes the new baby stays at home with Dad (while he's getting ready for work/while the baby is sleeping) - but quite often the baby just rides with Mom. & I am not exaggerating!....99%!

The quickest return to daycare was: new baby born on Monday. Released from hospital Tues afternoon. Older child returned to my daycare Wed a.m. by Mom ....as she took the other kids to the grade school. !!! Baby was sleeping at home at dropoff time, but was in the van when Mom picked up at the end of the day. Just shoot me now....yuck!

My son was almost 2 when his brother was born. He was in daycare 5 days a week. I absolutely wanted him home with me and the baby for my 16 week maternity leave. I thought it unfair to him for me to be spending my days with the new baby and not with him so I opted to keep him home. I told the daycare woman (a home daycare) and she said that she couldn't guarantee my spot. However, I knew that she would really be benefiting from me if she did because I would be needing TWO spots upon his return. She ended up charging me a small amount to hold his spot, and I think she actually enjoyed having 2 children in the same family. She also offered a 10 or 15% discount on the 2nd child once I had two there.
If your daycare provider won't work with you, you can always switch when you're ready for both children to go. It's only 3 days a week so it shouldn't be too difficult.
Now, I'll tell you that it's REALLY hard to have 2 small children at home all the time, and that my friends thought I was crazy to give up the daycare during that time, but I wouldn't change it. Having the extra time with my oldest was well worth the craziness :)
Good luck and congratulations.

I found it very helpful to keep my son in Daycare when I had my daughter. I let him stay home for the first week, but then, it was back to school.
My kids go to Daycare 2 days a week and are home with me the other days.
I wanted to 1) keep him on his normal schedule. He likes school and has no problem going to school (i.e., no seperation anxiety). I thought that if I kept him out of school for 3 months it would be difficult to get him back into his schedule. 2) I wanted time to bond with my baby. Just me and my baby like it was when I had my first. I loved the days when it was just the two of us. And 3) it was restful for me too after just having a baby and trying to figure out how to handle two :)

For me it worked out well because my kids only go 2 days a week. If your son goes full time, maybe you could just send him 2 or 3 days a week. That way he won't loose his spot and will be able to spend more time at home with you and the new baby.

I kept my oldest in daycare when my second was born. I wanted the bonding time alone with her, just like I got with the oldest. Plus, she was in her routine. I did the same when my third was born. Hubby did a lot of the dropping off, picking up. I did some also, especially when I was ready to get out!