I'm Irritated at My Son's Pre-k Teacher.

Actually I got someone else's pants! I, being the bad mom that I am I had left shorts in my son's cubby for an emergency pair of pants and his wonderful teacher knew that shorts were not appropriate in January so she grabbed a pair of sweats. I would NEVER dream of sending them back dirty that sounds terrible to me so I kept them for about a week (being the bad mom that I am) until I did laundry again and then sent them back. IF it makes you feel better you can get mad at me.

Wow - they're pants. Unless they are made of gold, let it go. This has happened to many of us - you should expect the "spare" clothes you send to school may get ruined/lost, etc. You should send cheap pairs you don't care about.

And why are you so irritated with the teacher? Do you expect her to go to the person's house and get them? So strange.....I feel bad for that poor teacher!

Get you son a BRIGHT YELLOW OR ORANGE backpack and that way the teachers will know it is his.
Wow calm down. Wait a few years when you are replacing gloves once a week unless you don't mind mismatched gloves, and gym shoes that disappear from their locker.

Have you watched the news about all that is going on in japan? Really makes a pair of missing pants seem tiny. Let it go and hug your child today, many in japan our looking for missing loved ones, including children and they wish it were only pants they were looking for :-)

LOL seriously do you have nothing better to do? Chill out! You'll get the pants back, and if they're that precious to you, send in a pair that you don't mind losing. What on earth would the teacher have to gain by deliberately giving out your son's clothing to his cubby mate? It's a pair of pants - a. pair. of. pants. My kids have all been in daycare and I have ended up with blankets, sweatshirts, sheets, sippy cups, dishware etc. that weren't mine (and we lost a few items along the way but I didn't really notice or care). I returned them when I remembered, but some items are probably still in my linen closet or cabinets because life is busy, we have a lot of kids and a lot of stuff and tracking one stinking pair of pants would not be worth my mental energy. Leave the teacher alone. She has enough to do.

"Then I start thinking that maybe the teacher knew exactly what she was doing on Friday. How could it be a mistake if she knew about it?"!!!!!

Yes, this was no mistake -- the evil teacher's plan was perfect! If only she could switch every child's pants in the school -- her diabolically plan for world domination would be complete! And if she could wreak further havoc by apologizing repeatedly, and giving those pants to parents who would insist on washing BUT NOT LINE DRYING them!..think of the utter pandemonium that would ensue. Entire civilizations could be toppled -- and she could still pretend this was a mere "accidental error" !

Um.. or maybe she did what every pre=school teacher does. Grab the nearest set of clean clothes for a child who has soiled his pants and doesn't have a spare.. while overseeing a room full of 4 year olds.

Nah.... I'd go with the world domination plot. But how to foil her evil scheme? Gee... maybe you could just call the other parent yourself, and make arrangements to get the pants back -- and leave the teacher and school alone. Should you attempt this daring path -- I wish you good speed -- may the force be with you!

Okay... deep breath. You are freaking out about pants.

We've all been in that situation- when my youngest daughter came home from daycare in foreign pants one time, because she had wet herself, I forgot to put the pants back in her backpack. (Also, I think common courtesy is to wash them before returning them, I can't imagine anyone would want to return dirty pants). Her teacher reminded me a few days later and I remembered, but in all honesty, we are all very busy. I have two children, and their and my own schedules to remember, my husband goes to school full time and works at night... soccer, girl scouts, and the list goes on... so if I forgot some pants... WHO CARES! I returned them as soon as I was able.

This just happened Friday. You typed seven paragraphs about pants, and have borderline harrassed the teacher about pants. PANTS! Give the other Mom (and the teacher) some time! You will get your pants back!

The teacher probably knew because the other Mom said something when she picked up her child. What would the teacher have to gain by stealing your child's pants? That's ridiculous.

I had to chuckle for a second, when I started reading your post, and then I didn't. Do you have it out for this teacher?

Do you really, seriously, think that this teacher is out to be deceptive in putting your son's pants on a child and is lying about it? What on earth would she have to gain?! She's notified the other mom, and who knows, perhaps her son has a similar pair of pants, or she's just so busy or harried that she simply didn't notice. The teacher has made a simple mistake which has now put her in the middle of two parents: a mom who is frantic to get a pair of pants back, and a mother who kind of seems to have different priorities. What a crappy situation to be in.

My son shares a cubby at his preschool. Unless clothes are clearly marked with names, occasionally things go home in the wrong bag. It's simple--- the teacher is trying to mind the group, plus get something out of a bag, and they are a bit distracted. If the ziplock had your son's name all over it, maybe that would have been questionable, but you don't mention any labeling.

I think you'd really better have your ducks in a row if you are going to accuse your son's teacher of consciously and purposely sending another child home in the pants. Being called a liar, when we have made a mistake is not something that's taken lightly by the teacher. It's a mistake. I understand your frustration, but if you make it out to be some diabolical plot, you are likely not going to recover your relationship with his teacher.

This is part of being in school-- sometimes, things get misplaced, go home with the wrong person. We have to be patient. My son's preschool requires every little piece of clothing my child brings/leaves to have his name on them, for this very reason. They do their best. I would most certainly not talk to admin unless you've waited a week and the teacher feels her hands are tied. Remember, please, that we are all trying to work toward the same goal, and I'm sure she'd love those parents to return those pants just as much as you do. If this has to be resolved through admin, just ask about helping to get the pants back from the other parent. This should not be "big stink" territory; it should be 'small potatoes'.

Seriously, as a teacher, I'd be a bit insulted that you are trusting me with your child, but think I'm going to screw you over on a pair of pants. Please tread carefully with this one!

H.

Holy cow! You'd better get on antidepressants befor Kindergarten and elementary school.
I don't think there is a "pants conspiracy" going on here in any way, shape or form.
The pants will make their way back to you. :)
I'm sure the other parents recognize that those are not their pants & the only logical thing they can do is send them (clean) back to the school.
Be patient.
The pants are not high on their priority list, apparently.

As a former preschool teacher I can easily see how you can grab a pair a pants from the bag and return a soiled bag to correct bag. It was an honest mistake, I am sure. And as a working mother who sometimes travels and cannot depend on her dear hubs to return pants... I can see how maybe returning said pants is not at the top of this mom's list.

I don't think this is a big enough deal to raise a stink over. Honestly, save it for something big otherwise your stink loses impact. :)

Someday you will laugh at yourself about this!I promise!

It's only pants! It's an honest mistake! I suppose if the teacher sent the wrong KID home with the wrong parent, then THAT'D be a problem!

:)

AMEN TO GEE R.'S POST... Let's all go home and hug our loved ones...

1) Send in a pair of very inexpensive pants that won't shrink when laundered/dried, and that you won't be distraught over if they don't make it back home to you. Walmart sells sweat pants for $3.50 a pair. That's what's in my son's ziploc bag of extra clothes. Since he probably won't wear them all year (they've been in his bag since school started), I don't see any reason to put a *good* pair of pants in there...

2) Lighten up. You don't want to come to be recognized as the wacko mom who went nuts over a pair of pants. Really. They are just pants...

I am sorry, but I just don't see the big deal, and no, this isn't an awkward situation. It's just life.

Honestly, um, they are pants. For a four year old. Yes, if my son came home with someone else's pants I would have sent them right back. If I forgot, and the teacher called me asking me to line-dry them and return them I would have had quite a laugh at that. I mean, pants for a preschooler? That mom isn't the one who made the mistake in the classroom either. She didn't ask for your kids pants to be on her son when he came home. It's pants. That's a lot of thought over pants. Maybe hit up a local thrift shop and grab a pair of cheepies for the spare next time? There are way better things to freak out about.

Whoa...calm down mama!! This is NOT a big deal!! I seriously doubt there is a conspiracy here. It is completely reasonable that someone could have not noticed, at first. Sometimes I don't even notice what my son is wearing there is so much going on. Not everyone will react like you. Things like this happen in school. Just go with it, the pants will be returned. It's not an awkward situation, it's just one of those things that happen!

An administrator would shake their heads in frustration if you came to them about pants. They deal with children and families with real issues and don't have time for this.

I haven't read all the other responses, so maybe I'm in the minority here, but I just don't see what the big deal is. Seriously, its just a pair of kid's pants, take a deep breath and let it go. When you send clothes as "back-ups" for your kid I would suggest sending something inexpensive that can be laundered without special consideration.
I really think you are making a mountain out of a molehill here, take a step back and ask yourself how much of an issue this really is.

I think you should let the pants go :). Stuff like this will happen and happen and then happen again. Gloves, mittens, scarves, jackets, yes even the spare pants. The teacher has her hands full and she took your son's pants. The other mom has other things going on and is just not putting these pants on her priority list. But trust when I say this, this is just the beginning. I don't think you should wait, I think you should drop this whole thing. Imagine when you have a real issue. You will want the teacher on your side.

Life is too short to get so emotionally involved in such detail. If you don't get them back it really is not worth all the emotion you've already put into it. I understand being irritated. I might have been too but I'd have let it drop after the first conversation with the teacher.

One of the difficult lessons for me to learn as a young woman was that rarely do people think the same way I do. Great when we agree. No biggie when we don't. We are all different.

WHOA! Breath sweetie...maybe the mom wants to wash them before she returns them. I know that I don't/can't do laundry everyday. and sometimes it's done on an as need or when home basis. Maybe the other mom just hasn't hade chance to wash them.

I know you asked for them unwashed but she probably already feels bad that her kid had your kids pants on.

If you can't handle this you are not going to be able to handle elementary school.

This must be a golden pair of pants! LOL! You sound a lot more than irritated, you sound obsessively pissed off. I've taken up to a week (plus the before and after weekend) to return a shirt that my son has 'borrowed' from the school nurse after a lunchtime spill. Things get washed and then lost in the rubble of this thing I call my home. I do eventually remember and take the clothes back to school.

I can't thing of a single reason a teacher would intentionally decide to give your clothes up. It was a mistake, it happens, calm down. This will not be your child's only loss of clothing. Please don't go to the administrator. The school's administration will laugh you out of their office (sorry, but true!). They can't make her give you the pants back (and won't give you the other parent's contact info). Only legal authorities can do that. If you really absolutely must have them back tomorrow, wait on the other child's parent and talk to her about it, but beware, she may be angry and embarrassed. I would be, especially if I had more important things than laundry going on at the moment.

Give it a couple (2) weeks. If you still haven't seen your child's pants, then readdress the issue with the teacher or the principle of the pr-k.

I think you are making a huge deal about a little thing. I promise you that in your son's lifetime you will lose pants, jackets, shoes, backpacks and everything else..
Try and relax, write a nice little letter to the other mom, explaining what happened and that you are anxious to have the pants back and either give it to the teacher, put in the other child's back pack or to someone at the desk of the preschool if you really don't trust the teacher. I'm sure the other mom is just busy and has forgotten to bring in the pants, we all can be forgetful. I really don't feel this is a reason the be mad at the whole school! You want to keep a good working relationship with the school and the teacher afterall..

This is such a minor issue and I can't believe how worked up it made you. Stuff happens. Be patient. Give people time. Often than not, there's no malicious intent. People do things differently for diffferent reasons. Not everyone is on your regiment. It hasn't even been a week.

Plus, I've only sent old or sweat pants as backup.

Uhm...well...there are much bigger challenges to face in raising children. Save your energy for more dire issues...

Maybe if you haven't already, turn on your TV. There are bigger problems going on in the world. Stress about that. Boy oh boy.

Clothes switch-ups happen all the time, the teacher has apologized... I don't really see the problem. My daughter has come home with someone elses clothes plenty of times - we wash them and I hand them to the teacher. I only do laundry once a week, so it usually takes a while to return them. It has never been an issue at our school.

I don't mean to be harsh to you, I am sure you're a nice person, but you are making a mountain out of a molehill. If I was the teacher or other parent, I would definitely think that you were a bit controlling and weird to make such a stink about something so insignificant.

This is one that you need to just laugh at.

Seriously, it's a $20ish pair of pants, right? You'll probably get them back soon. I can't even imagine being this upset over such a silly thing. You have many, many more years of school to get through and many more upsetting things will happen. If you're this upset over pants in Pre-K, you're going to have to be medicated through middle and high school.

I would be thankful that my kid's pants helped some other little boy who must have had a real problem.

I feel bad for this poor teacher!! Do you want to be labeled the crazy mom? I send ugly sweat pants as spare cloths, if I never see them again I really don't care. Take a step back and relax, you'll get them back.

Note to self: Next time pack cheap sweats/pants for the spare set of clothes!

This is SO not a big deal sis, if you need to write a kind note to the mother who has the pants due so/do so (?whatever?), then let it go!

~I hear and understand your frustration about having a hard time getting something back that belongs to you....but....you are coming off as a lil' crazy. Do you think the rest of us haven't had to deal with this sort of thing?? C'mon now...let it go...jumping to the conclusion that the teacher did it 'on purpose' and then being angry at her is crossing the line...we are talking about a pair of kid pants for crying out loud! ***And if you were silly enough to use a pair of his most expensive pants as 'extras' that's on you! My kids' preschool makes it very clear that due to panting and messy fun activities, the kids should NOT be sent in clothes that can not be ruined. Period.

i think you are making a HUGE deal out of nearly nothing... we keep a change of clothing in my son's backpack for his twice a week preschool as well. it's typically an outfit that's not my fave anyways. and as far as washing and line drying, you are really getting all worked up over a VERY small issue - try to refocus on what's important. the teacher made a mistake(she could very well have take pants OUT of your son's bag, then when changing the other child, put the soiled stuff in HIS backpack, not even realizing it til later, i know sometimes i realize different random mistakes in daily hours after i do them), maybe mom didn't notice, maybe they have the same size/color pants as what your son did, maybe etc. i mean, really, you're considering going to the adminstrator over this?????????? it really sounds like you've already been pretty rude/aggressive with the teacher, she's prob feeling VERY uncomfortable about a situation that she really has no control over at this point. write a quick note for the other child's parents and ask that it be sent home in his backpack if you feel you must - but seriously, lighten up, it's not the end of the world.

wow I hope you don't get upset when he plays in them and ruins them if you care about them being line dried. I can tell you I'd probably have them lost in the house now since I'm going throught a divorce and clothes are being packed, given away.... and I'd be so paranoid over your call or confrontation it would ruin my day, let up on it...unless you only have one pair of pants, let it go, you don't want to make your kid not invited to birthdays beause of your over reaction...Id feel awkward seeing you at a party if you confronted M. on the issue. Also so what if she did use them on purpose and is telling you a white lie, I'd hope she';d do the same for ur kid if his pants were ruined and you didn't have an extra pair...it's not like the kid could go pantsless. kids clothing is meant to be ruined, played in, lost, and well loved in my opinion

If he had an accident then the little boy was dirty so the other mom just wants to wash them.(hopefuly) It is only a pair of pants. Why would the teacher give someother kid your sons pants? Does she not like your son? I think you are making it awkward to be honest. I would not be so stressed out. Are they your sons best pants? I always used to put clothes that were just play clothes in my sons extra clothes bag. That way I didn't have to worry about something like this although my sons school kept the clothes in a separate place not in backpacks with their names on the bags. Good Luck getting those pants back and I would not call the administrator you will be label crazy for sure.

I cannot count the number of clothes that have been taken out of my daughter's preschool bag and never returned. And truthfully, I don't care... Not all mothers are as detail oriented to the possible needs of their child at school; or, the parents may be dealing with divorce, job deadlines/stress, or illness. Lots of times, spare clothes are packed months before, only to be too small/outgrown when the child suddenly needs them.

My attitude is, if there is a child in need, then they can use my daughter's spare clothes. If I had been in the classroom, I would undoubtedly volunteer for that child to use our spare clothes. For this reason, spare clothes are rarely her nicer, everyday items.

Since you are overly focused on the pants, why don't you ask the teacher to have the mother reimburse you for the clothes and be done with. However, this episode has the potential to make for awkwardness when you both are at birthday parties, etc.

OK -this happens all the time at my 2 year old's preschool! Just this morning I took him and handed his teacher 2 pairs of pants, a pair of undies and a t-shirt that do not belong to us but that he wore home (they're all potty training and accidents are common). I washed them (and dried them in a drier, which never shrinks any of our clothing), but I've had a few of the articles for over a week! Sorry -I'm busy, one of the t-shirts got put under a stack of clothing I was sorting for give-away, etc. I certainly don't always do a bunch of laundry over the weekend and wouldn't necessarily have had the pants back on Monday. If I had received a call, I would definitely try to do it and try to remember it, but it's one of those things that I would probably forget over and over until I put a sticky note on the door that I would see on my way out! Most folks are just not that concerned over a pair of pants.

Why on earth do you think the teacher did it on purpose? What purpose would that serve? It's a pair of pants! Yes, you should get them back, but it's nothing to make some big deal over, complain to the administration about or piss off your kid's teacher about. PreK teachers have SO much going on in their classrooms, it would be easy to mix up backpacks and also, she may have gotten the pants out of your son's backpack, but an assistant may have put the soiled pants in the correct pack. Or maybe the kid put the soiled pants in his own pack! Worry about and get angry over the BIG things regarding your son and school, because over the next 12-13 years, there will be some big ones, but not pants.

I might be a bit annoyed, but I would chalk it up to "stuff happens". Please give the mother the benefit of the doubt. For all you know, this is a single mother that has to go to the laundrymat just to wash clothes. You really don't know what is going on in her life...I hope you get the pants back, but I really wouldn't make a huge deal of it.

Its a pair of pants....I think you are over reacting.

If this became a regular problem then yes, I could understand being upset. But this is one time. Whether she did it on purpose or accidentally, its one pair of pants.

I personally think you just need to be patient until they are returned.

(I also agree with whomever posted about the spare clothing, my daughter's spare clothing is of no great value. AND its a good thing because they've been in there for 6 months now and she hasn't stepped foot in them.)

As the parent who got the pants on accident I would NEVER send them back unwashed. EVER. I work full-time so if it did not get washed on the weekend (or dad did not mention that Friday's pants did not look familar) it may take a few days up to week to get them back to you. That being said the extra set of clothes for my little guy are the "ugly" items that I don't care about but were given to us.

Dear Kelly, Is this your first child? You need to lighten up, life is too short to be upset about something so minor. I have a daughter 15yrs old who is moderatly Autistic. a couple weeks ago she came home with borrowed pants from a girl in her class and it took me about 6 days untill i washed cold water dark clothes. I also partialy dry and then hang our clothes to finnish drying. Just as a sugestion , when i send spare clothing i always send something that if it got lost or for some reason not returned i wouldn't be lost or so upet about it. Please don't let this ruin your relationship with your sons teacher. J.

Why does one pair of pants that will soon be outgrown make such
a difference?
Just be a nice person and smile. Set a good example for your little boy
about how to be a big person.

We've lost jackets, blankets, sippy cups; I learned to just bring the cheap stuff. ;)
Its not that bad. I wouldn't be mad at the teacher or the parent. Its not worth being mad period. Don't sweat the small stuff,
Sure, maybe the other parent should have returned it by now, so what if she hasn't. Isn't life way too great to let this incident be such a huge issue?

I'd skip working on the teacher at this point. She apologized, she's trying to make amends. I think asking her to make a second phone call to the Mom is overkill. Mistakes happen. Just approach the cubby-mate's Mom at school and gently ask if she can return the pants unwashed. What is the worst cast scenario? you lose one pair of preschoolers pants. I'd let it go. When my kids were little, the "back up" clothes we'd store just in case were nothing very favorite or valuable.

I think you are over reacting.

J.

While annoying this little issue shouldn't control you. I am sure you will get your pants back. I hope they have not shrunk but if the mother washed them with only good intentions its not the end of the world. With my kids in daycare I make sure that the spare clothes are ones that should they get lost or taken I won't lose sleep over it. Nicer clothes I have for the weekend and church. Its ok and hang in there.

Were they $100 pair of pants? Maybe then I could understand the fuss.

FYI: don't put anything in your kids backpack that you'll miss. Clearly LABEL everything.

My son and daughter have both gone home wearing other people's clothes, either by accident or on purpose. The same thing has happened in reverse. I always wash the clothes because I would consider it rude to return unlaundered clothes. These things happen. It's not a big deal. You'll get the pants back. It's possible that the mother just hasn't done laundry yet.

'Should I make a big stink about they clearly knew that the child left wearing my son's clothes?"

Um, how did they clearly know the clothes were your son's? She said she grabbed them out of the wrong backpack, so obviously she clearly did NOT know they were your son's clothes at the time she grabbed them. And I'm positive that the front office staff has better things to do than check the clothing on each and every child leaving the building to make sure it belongs to them - unless of course you stiched your son's name in flourescent green across the butt. Would you rather the teachers spend their time cataloging the kids belongings or watching the kids?

By all means go ahead and make a big stink. You will immediately become "that mom" who everyone thinks is a pain in the a$$ for making mountains out of molehills. They are pants. Go to Walmart and get some sweats for his daycare backup bags.

I can't believe your really this upset about a pair of pants that your child will eventually grow out of. My daughter is in day care and sometimes she comes home with other childrens jackets, pants, blanket, and pull-ups. I simply wash the clothing and return it to the teachers. *NO BIG DEAL*. What would the teacher gain by switching your childs jeans? I think it was very rude of you to tell the teacher" call the other parent and tell her do not wash his pants because you line dry his jeans". First of all drying jeans once will not shrink them(unless they are elastic-stretch type of jeans). The other parent was trying to be helpful, and maybe she forgot to put the pants in the bag just like most parents do. Her intentions are not to be mean, evil, and spiteful(she may just be very busy). What type of pants are they, hopefully they are some very expensive pants to cause this fuss. If so, you should not have sent your child to daycare in that type of clothing! Please be more concerned with what your child is learning and working with the teachers(instead of working against them). Have a very good day

I would write a polite note to the other mother reminding her to send the pants back with her son. Give the note to the teacher and have her put it in his backpack. I wouldn't make a big fuss, you don't want to appear crazy (it's just a pair of pants) and make a name for youself at the school.
I can assure you the teacher would not do this on purpose. As a former teacher, you can get very overwhelmed being in charge of so many children all at once.....and preschoolers non the less.

Wow, you are really upset about these pants. I do not think the teacher was trying to deceive you. She must have took the pants out of the wrong backpack then returned the soiled ones to the correct backpack. I really do not see the big deal and I am afraid the school admin would think it was a little over the top that you would call them about this. Some families are dealing with real issues. Perhaps the mom is neglectful returning the pants but maybe she is dealing with a dying parent or some other issues or maybe she simply forgot. It simply may have slipped her mind. If it was me I would give the teacher and the mom the benefit of the dout.

Seriously??? It's not like the woman sent your SON home with a different mother!! *shakes head* Let it go!!! lol

You must lead some kind of life to be putting so much time and energy into a pair of pants! Lesson learned - send pants you have no emotional attachment to and have no value.

Sheesh.......

Sorry, I'm on board with all the other moms....way too much over reaction over a pant mix up.

Please take a breath. This happens ALL the time! Don't make a big stink, but I would ask if you could please contact the mother directly.

At this point your annoyance should be with the parent, not with the teacher. Mix-ups happen, just like accidents. The pants have probably already been washed and dried... so not much you can do about it now!

I would wait in the morning and see the parent, and tell her to please bring them at pick up!
This wouldn't bother me, knowing another child needed them.... I am terrible at remembering to return things, I have every intention to, but takes me a while.... I wouldn't be mad at the parent or the teacher, things happen!!

I don't think the teacher intentionally took pants out and lied to you, what more than likely happened was she accidentally took the pants out and put them on the child, then realized her mistake once she went to put the soiled pants back in and had no choice but to leave the other pants on him. Maybe he didn't have pants and it was too late. I am sure she isn't trying to put one over on you, she's a teacher that was in an unfortunate situation and I doubt making a big deal about pants is going to help anyway. I would imagine the administrators would try and help, but is it really that big of a deal? In my daughter's pre-k class, we can leave notes for the parents inside the kids folders, so you could always just leave a note for the mom and ask her if she wouldn't mind bringing them back or replacing them, that way you get your pants back without turning this into a fight. After all, they're three years old and it's not worth fighting over pants that will probably be returned. The mom probably works and hasn't had a chance to wash them. My daughter once accidentally switched matchbox cars with a boy from her class on share day, and he brought hers back but I forgot (she was only going two days a week at that point) and it didn't get returned until the following week. The mom was upset (rightfully so) but I wasn't trying to steal the car and it was an honest mistake. If the other parent or the teacher accused me of stealing the car I would have been embarrassed and angry because like I said, it was a mistake. Do you really want your son's teacher to feel bad about a pair of pants? Just leave the other mom a polite but firm note saying to please return them and I'm sure she will.

You're over-reacting for sure. Put this in perspective: your son is in Pre-K, and this is a pair of pants you're ranting over. I sincerely doubt your child's teacher was conspiring against you by sending the pants home on the wrong child. She very honestly stated her mistake, and took the initiative to call the other parent to make sure the pants were returned. You've obviously never taught early childhood. Things like this happen everyday. I cannot believe you're considering contacting the school administrator over such a small issue as misplaced pants. If you're acting this way now (in Pre-K) I fear how you will act as your child ages and you face more serious issues. If you are so upset about these pants, I would contact the parent directly. You are putting a lot of energy into a very insignificant thing. Calm down, it's highly likely the pants will be returned. Even if they aren't - they're pants. They can be replaced very easily.

A few week's ago, my 2 yo was sent home from PDO with a sandwich container labeled "Jeffrey" (not remotely close to my son's name).

I forgot to take it back but let the teacher know we had it so she could tell Jeffrey's mom or dad. I washed it. I set it on the counter. I forgot to take it back. My husband put it the sink with dirty dishes. I washed it again. I set it out. I forgot to tell him I washed it. He washed it and put it where he thought it would be noticed. I didn't notice it (rinse repeat).

It took us over 2 weeks to return it, not because we wanted Jeffrey's sandwich box - but because we have 3 small children and forgetful sleep-deprived actions come with the territory. I did finally remember to take it back. I assume the teacher remembered to return it.

I can't imagine how I'd have felt if I was told to return it dirty because Jeffery's mom has a specific way of doing her dishes. I mean, I probably would have done so. But I would have thought the Mom was a little...over the top. It's not like we wash our dishes with cat poop.

I do understand that you are trying to keep your son's clothes nice. But unless the pants are horribly made, one cycle in the dryer shouldn't be a big deal. I grew up with a mother who should have won the most frugal Mom Award - and I love what she taught me - but even she sometimes used the dryer.

I hope your pants come home soon. But when they come, remember the other Mom or Dad was trying to be courteous if they return them clean....and that most people would be upset it they gave them back dirty.

These things happen, I would hold off on the "stink". You have no idea what is going on the other moms world. I am sure you will get your sons pants back just fine but really pick your battles this is not something to war over.

I get where you are coming from. My son had a similar situation at his MDO class. Someone had inadvertently picked up his fleece jacket at the end of the day because it was no where to be found. No big deal, it was a nice day so no jacket was needed. The jacket didn't show up and I ended up buying another with the mindset that someone else must have needed it more than we did. Probably six months later, same thing happened with my son's winter jacket. We couldn't find it at the end of pick up time. I said to the teacher that this was the second coat we had lost. Moments later she found his winter coat (which my son had put on the wrong hook up the hallway a bit) and she also located his fleece jacket. I didn't throw a fit, but felt a little ashamed that I was a little irked.
You have probably already heard this since this is like the 104th response to this post, but in the grand scheme of things it was just a pair of pants. More than likely, the teacher must have known you are pretty on the ball with following their policies and grabbed your son's pair as an emergency?? (Not all parents follow/prepare their kids for school policy like they should- I know because I used to be a teacher). At any rate, the pants should be returned to you, but in the mean time take it as an opportunity to help another child out in a time of need. It is God's desire for all of us to take care of each other. You did that whether you realize it or not. :-)
Sincerely,
A.

Maybe you should buy a couple of pairs of Carter pants or something at Kohls for a couple of dollars to have in reserve for the backpack...then it wouldn't be something to get so upset over and the washing instructions wouldn't be a worry. It is obvious to me (at least) that the other kid either didn't have extra pants in his backpack or had already gone through them and she used your sons. Our Pre-K has "school" clothes that are used as back-up....maybe they need to consider that for the future or ask for donations for that "bin." My daughter came home in a school sweatshirt that was 4 sizes too big for her when she spilled her juice on herself :) because I haven't switched out her back-pack back-up clothes all year and there was a tanktop and shorts in there from September (Woops). It happens. It is only pants and not worth causing a rift between you and another mom or you and the school administration -- is it?

Perhaps if we look at it from a different perspective, it may not seem so irritating. For instance, the parent who got your son's pants may be going through something right now and the "pants" are the last thing on their mind. For example, my very good friend's husband just past away from cancer and before he died she had been taking care of him for the past 3 weeks in her home, which was set up like a hospice...only her very, very close friends/family knew this was going on...even her 7 year-old and 8 year-old didn't know he was dying. She dropped them off at school everyday like normal. Now it may not may be as extreme as this, but perhaps by taking a step-back and looking at it in a different perspective might relieve your stress about this whole situation.

BTW, my son is in preschool and we have to leave "two" outfits just in case. Well one day he went through both, it was one of those days...the preschool teacher did take a pair of pants out of someone else's cubby so that my son was not "embarrassed or ashamed"...my husband picked him up and didn't notice they were not his pants and threw them in the laundry when getting on his pajamas...I didn't realize what had happened until after I was doing the laundry. It took a week or so but that child got back his pants and I was very grateful to the Mom and the teacher.

So did you get the pants back or does the conspiracy continue?

Sure you have a right to be upset about this but you need to put it in perspective. It is pre-kindergarten and it is a pair of pants. You will have an anxiety attack if you keep this up. Oh, and you'll be labeled a helicopter parent or even worse, a bulldozer parent.

It's pants. Calm down. You may or may not get them back. But, if you want to look like a total crazy mom then go ahead and march on into the administrator's office and read her the riot act about Pantsgate 2011.

OMG it is a pair of pants. You are putting a lot of energy into something
very insignificant. There are going to be many things that occur in your
sons school years. If you are getting this nuts about a pair of pants, you are
in for the ride of your life and will never make it to his senior year of high school.. Relax this is the small stuff people always talk about.

My advice...let it go. I'm the mom that would probably not notice if her kid came home in different pants and wouldn't have them washed and returned the next day (I'd get it done, but it woudn't be overnight). Don't sweat the small stuff and this is small stuff.

I would wait a full week. Maybe the mom forgot or the kid doesn't go there everyday. Don['t blame the teacher, it's not a big deal and I wouldn't call the mother.

I just had to chime in...I was reading your "concern" and I'm thinking to myself, this is the most ridiculous thing to get all revved up about. I'm so glad when I read the other responses that I wasn't the only one.

I have three little ones in daycare, and we've lost an occasional piece of clothing. Sure it doesn't make me happy, but I never thought that my kids teacher was intentionally switching pants. She's got much more important things to do, like take care of my kids.

Put it into perspective, they're pants. Your kid is healthy, happy and thank God able to get out of bed and go to daycare each day.

My advice...label, label, label everything you can. Try Mabel's Labels - they work great on clothes. And if you're really attached to a piece of clothing, don't take a chance and let them wear it to daycare...save it for a day when the kids are with you all day.

Good luck...

You are way too upset over a pair of pants. Maybe the other kid needed a pair of pants and didn't have any so she borrowed them or maybe it was an honest mistake. Who cares - it's not like you should be sending overpriced kids pants to daycare. I would never return something to school without washing them. Also, they usually put the soiled items in a small bag and put the bag either in the office or somewhere that is a dedicated pick up spot in the classroom, not back in their bags. If you are this upset over a minor issue then the trials of childhood are going to be really difficult for you. Let it go and use this as a lesson to yourself not to send expensive line dry only pants as backups.

I think its too much over reaction for a minor thing she did accidentally. Now if her intentions were nasty that would be a different situation.

Hi I understand your frustration, but I'm sure the teacher didn't do it intentionally. Give her a break she has a tough job. My son is also in pre-school and we have had several mishaps like that and everthing in the end works out. Just yesterday I received another childs notebook in my sons backpack. I know for sure that the teacher herself doesn't go through the backpacks the aides help her do that. I would send another reminder and then just forget it and worry about bigger things.

Hello:
I'm sorry this has been an upsetting experience for you. As a preschool teacher for over 14 years, honestly, many times it gets SUPER SUPER crazy busy with young children and sometimes we grab wrong things by mistake. We don't really know what happened. Or maybe this other child didn't have a spare pair of pants (the school should have extras actually) and she just was in a hurry and grabbed a pair out of your son's bag. I don't think she should have necessarily done that but maybe it was just one of those "classroom emergencies"..and she did the best she could. If that had been your son and you had forgotten to pack him a pair of pants, or if your son needed something and the teacher did whatever she could at the time to help him feel comfortable, I'm sure you would have appreciated it.

I suppose you could ask for the family's phone number and asked for the pants back if you were concerned you weren't going to ever see them again. I would reserve going to the director for more serious situations. I would ask for the family name and either call them or if the teacher isn't able to give you the number for security reasons I would just go up to the mom at pick up and nicely say, hey, I guess there was a mix up with the kid's clothes. Do you happen to have my son's pants?

Yes, the parents should have sent them back right away but life gets crazy and things happen. And some people are just more organized than others too. I would just be very matter of fact about this and not create too much drama with the teacher.

I have not read all of the other responses.. but here is my take. It is not a big deal. You are making WAY to much out of it. If you never see the pants again - is it that big a deal? I doubt the teacher maliciously gave away your son's pants - either the other kid didnt have any or it was a simple mistake. Also, I would not return dirty pants to someone (if my kid wore a different kid's pants home) - so dont be surprised if she washed them and dryed them.

Seriously??? I can't believe you have the time or care this much about a silly pair of pants. I don't send my kids' best clothes to school as spares. The "back-up" clothes are not things I worry about tracking down all the time. Being a busy working mother, sometimes I just don't get things back to school when there's been a mix up...and I tend to throw them in the hamper and then wash (because for me, I could never return used pants unwashed). I do my laundry on certain days so it wouldn't go back the next day...I think you need to find something else to worry about.
-M

Please don't put be that upset with the teacher. It was an honest mistake and she did apologize for it. As a teacher myself, I am not surprised an accident like this happened - it is very easy to mistake one child's belongings for another's. After all, I don't know what any of my students' backpacks or lunch bags look like, so I could make a similar mistake.

Ooooohhh... I havent read the other comments but I think you are being a little crazy over this. It is VERY common for children to go home from daycare or preschool wearing someone else's clothes. It happens to my two children all the time - they have both come home in others clothing, and others have gone home in theirs. We have plenty of clothes, and I save the really special outfits for weekends so it is not a big deal.

I definitely think that you should take a deep breath and let it go. There has got to be other more important things for you to focus your energy on.

If you go to an administrator or keep pestering the teacher about it, you will get a reputation around the school as a "nut."

If you just cant let it go, I suggest contacting the other parent yourself.

I don't have time to read everyone else's responses, but honestly... why are you freaking out? It's a pair of pants! The teacher made a simple error and has tried everything within her power to rectify it. Why don't you just contact the parent yourself? And either way, one swoop through someone else's dryer isn't going to ruin your son's pants unless they're made of angel wings.

My two girls go to pre-K as well, and we've had other people's clothes come home on them before. I always assumed it was a mistake and that the best thing I could do was wash the clothes and return them. It never crossed my mind that another parent would get mad at the teacher.

So... chill... why ruin your relationship with your child's teacher over this?

I'm sure I would be a little annoyed, but I would let it go. In the grand scheme of things, a missing pair of pants is really not that big of a deal. It was an accident, and those things tend to happen. Trust me, my kid has come home in so many other kids day care clothes, it's not even funny. It happens. No big deal.

I'm quite sure the teacher did not do this on purpose. What point would it make? It was a mix up and you have a right to be irritated, I would be, but ya know, you may not get them back and you might have to let it go. Yes, it sucks. Even if they were only a pair of "play" pants, everything costs money, yes, and yes. But, it was a mistake, not a huge one and it's okay. I would let it go with the teacher and the administration. If they come back you know the teacher will give them back immediately if they don't come back include it in your 'donated to charity' section of your tax return! ;)

I think you are thinking way too much about this. The other child was probably missing his extra pants, so the teacher used your son's pants. Maybe the other mom has 7 kids and your son's pants just ended up in a drawer at her house. I guess you could deal directly with the other mom if you can get that info from the teacher. I mean, honestly, does your son only have 3 pairs of pants or something? I think he can live without his pants for a week.

Sorry, but you are definitely over reacting. That other mom probably hasn't had any time to wash them yet (or maybe she's waiting to have a full load of the same color, etc) and you being specific on the washing instructions is a bit much. A mistake was made. A SMALL mistake. Stop thinking about the pants and you will get them soon. You obviously don't use them often or you would not have chosen them to be his extra pair. No hard feelings need to be directed towards the teacher or the mom. Really not a big deal.

Let it go. I know its bothersome, but people make mistakes. The teacher appologized, its in the other parent's hands now whether they return them or not. You don't have any control over what anyone else does--you only have control in how you react to it. Don't let anything ruffle your feathers. :)

M

I don't get why you're so upset about pants. It's pretty ridiculous. It is highly likely that you will get the pants back. Sometimes children don't have a full change of clothes for whatever reason (mom forgot to repack them, etc) and a teacher will borrow someone else's. I've been on the receiving end and the giving end of it. It is possible that the mother feels obligated to wash them before giving them back and hasn't gotten around to doing the laundry yet.

I can understand your frustration, its really not fair, and I too would have returned them promptly. I would just keep reminding her. I wouldnt get too mad over it, but yes, you need them back.

I agree with many of the posts. You need to relax. They are just pants and the mix-up sounds very unintentional.

Umm... are the pants laced with gold and diamonds? Otherwise, I don't get the fixation. Remember your behavior reflects on your child.

Wow, I don't see why this is making you so upset. Talk about sweating the small stuff! If you are so attached to the pants ask the school for the mother's phone # yourself so you can call her and arrange a time to go pick them up. I have 3 kids and we always have extra and missing clothes going in and out of our house, that's just life.
Please take a breath and relax, if you get this upset with a teacher over something like this I feel sorry for all the future teachers you will be dealing with.

I would not be happy to lose a pair of pants, the other mother should return them a.s.a.p., which I would have done if I had a little kid come home in someone else's pants. However, it seems like you're really making a huge deal and putting a lot of thought into this - 7 paragraphs worth of thought for what should be an old, hand me down or clearance rack pair of pants to serve as a spare all year in his backpack.. I don't think the teacher is out to get you. Is it possible that the pants pooper didn't have spare pants so the teacher borrowed someone else's? Yes. Is that the right thing to do? No. But you're making too big of a deal about the teacher's actions, whether accidental or on purpose. The fault lies in the other mom for not sending back your son's pants. Put a note in the other boy's backpack when you drop off your son tomorrow, reminding her that she has your son's pants, and you'd like them back. Even if the teacher gave the other kid the pants on purpose because this other kid had no spare, it's not her fault the mom didn't send them back. I wouldn't go to an administrator over a pair of pants, I'd take it up directly with the mom.

This has happened with both my kids when in preschool. Either there clothes were borrowed by a friend or my kids had to borrow a friends clothes. Our preschool has a stash of clothes for emergencies as well that my kids have borrowed because I forgot to restock their cubby with spares. I usually get everything straight and returned in about a week.

I wouldn't make a big deal out of it. But that's me. I wouldn't go to the director of the school about it. But that's me. If it really bothered me and it had been more than a week or two, I would just ask (nicely) the other parent about it. I know I have forgotten to bring clothes back to the school. In fact, I have a pair of pants that belong to the school right now sitting in my entryway....been there for 3 weeks that i keep forgetting to throw in my daughters bag.

We all forget things, preschool gets crazy, life happens. Just wait it out a few more days, I am sure the pants will come back to you.

Hi Kelly! I honestly would be irritated, too. However, it is only a pair of pants after all. The extra clothes that I put in my son's backpack are never clothes that I actually care about losing or being ruined. But I understand how annoyed you must be at her "mistake".......It does sound like she really needed to get a pair of pants on that child so she grabbed your son's pants b/c maybe there wasn't an extra pair for that child.

I think that the teacher's inconsideration for taking your son's pants WITHOUT your permission is what you are really mad about-not the pair of pants. I think I would be, too!

Boy are you getting bashed. Because another child had a toilet accident, your child's belongings were taken and he is left without his spare. What if he had an accident too? And perhaps you don't want to share your child's clothing with someone else?

No, it may not top the list of concerns for most people, but I see your point of view. Everything a child takes to school should have their name on it. Most 4-year-olds can and will tell you what belongs to them. I am surprised that the one with the accident didn't tell her they weren't his pants.

It can be a struggle to provide for your children, to keep things neat and clean, make them last and have on hand what they need. (BTW I line dry my clothes for the same reason you do, last longer, don't shrink...) The teacher had no business giving your child's labeled clothing from his backpack to another child. She should make it a priorty to get them back for you. If she does not then, you should stand out front and ask that other child's parent for your son's pants yourself.

After a couple of years visiting this site, I cannot think of a question that has generated more responses than this one!

Please relax about the pants!!

I think I would just let this one go. You are going to have bigger things to be upset over!!!!!

If I was the mom w/ extra pants, i would have washed and dried them over the weekend. It never would have occurred to me to rtn them dirty, or to line dry them. I can see how the mistake was made by the teacher. A kid wet his pants, she rushed to get dry ones, and then the soiled ones she checked before she put them away. the kid wouldn't be standing there naked. I sent older clothes to preschool for accidents. so, those clothes I never cared if i ever saw them again. the teacher made a mistake, but now, it is in someone elses hands. Dop you know who the other kid is? Can you ask the parents at drop off? "hey, i hear you accidently got my kid's pants, can i just have them back dirty? They were purple w/ green stripes (or what ever) You do not need to wash them". and then see what happens.

I would be a little irritated but just give them some time. If you don't have them back in another week, give the mom a call.

(I am a little "crazy" about my kids' clothes because I work hard to take good care of them. It sounds like you do too!) But you should just thank the teacher today for helping you with the situation and then let the teacher off the hook........ >Unless you have had this happen multiple times, I'm sure it was an accident.

even though we are all mothers we are not the same. so though you would have done things differently had it happened the opposite way to you, that's obviously not the case with this mother. and are there any other instances that would make you think that your pre-k teacher has it out for you/your son and would purposefully do this?

i'm not sure how you are about confrontation..not sure if your issue is the "principle of the matter"...not sure if you think your son's teacher has a vendetta...but...is it that serious? i'd contact the mom directly (in person if possible) and then go from there. worst case scenario he's out of a $10?/$15? pair of pants.

and i'd personally be more irritated at the parent, than the teacher. teaching is an extremely difficult and thankless job....she was after all dealing with your son's poo...give her a pass and get on that parent.

Glad you posted this. My son is only 10 months old but in the future if we ever have him bring in somebody else's clothes I will make sure I return it the very next day(something I might not have done given how lazy and forgetful I am)
I would have expected it to be sent back too but wouldn't be so upset over it even if she didn't. Maybe you can try contacting that mom about this. I don't know what else the teacher could do about it. I wouldn't like it if the teacher reminded M. everyday about a pair of pants to return. Please don't be mad at her. She now has one angry mom but if she starts sending notes to the other mom everyday about this, she will have two.Who knows what else must be going on in the other mom's life,maybe she just didn't find time to do laundry.

Go to wal-mart and buy another pair of pants. Don't pack "nice" pants as back-up clothes for your son. Not a big deal.

Sounds like the teacher got clean pants out of your son's bag, then the boy probably put the soiled pair in his own bag. The teacher probably realized it when she saw the other boy leave with his bag or when she saw your son arrive on Monday. Either way, the boy was already wearing the pants. Accidents happen.

I understand being irked but if the teacher has in fact made the call and is only allowed one call she should not call again. She should in fact speak to the other parent in person when the child is either dropped off or picked up. Then if that doesn't work, you or she should go to the administrator and explain that "due to teacher error, your son's pants have been sent home with the wrong child and not returned". Ask him or her to step in to help.

.

How funny what a mistake..Call the mother yourself & make a big stink of it.My son had a Spider Man winter coat with his name on it he came home stinky I knew this wasn't his coat so I looked at the class names asked my son who wears a Spider Man coat just like yours & he said so & so I called the parents right away (we were only out of school for a mere 20 min.) I spoke to the childs father that we have the wrong Spider Man coats & it needs to be returned back to school he said ok.

I think what is bugging you most is that you put your son's clothes in HIS bag for HIM to use and the teacher has created a situation where you are stuck trying to get something that belongs to you back from someone who should never have had it in the first place. I guess we're in the minority, but I would be peeved and I would not be pleased if my child's clothes were continually taken for spare for someone else. If they needed to borrow clothes, then they could have called you or they could keep a stash of spares. Our daycare had spare things and occasionally DD would use them (like if Daddy forgot to pack her blanket for the week). I just washed and returned as soon as possible. But it was theirs, not another child's.

I would talk to the parent if you see her or put a note in the other child's bin or bag. When my daughter's sweatshirt went missing (the teacher had put it in her pocket and forgotten - her friend had died and she had a bad day so I can't blame her, really) I asked around. Eventually it did turn up.

If the teacher won't call the mom and the mom won't return them, I'd ask the director what to do to prevent it happening again. Would it help to move cubbies so kids with similar clothes or sizes are not together? Maybe boy/girl/boy/girl? When our sweatshirt went missing, I was rather irritated that in a class of 6 they couldn't keep track of one child's shirt and I had to take her home without a warm shirt to wear. I probably got more upset that some of the other moms that replied to you, but it was very upsetting to me. It was something my sister gave her and I was really bummed to have lost it. After that, I tried not to put DD in anything I didn't label or mind missing/dirty, but sometimes you just want your kid in something nicer or cuter or whatever.

RE: washing, if she did wash them, just say thank you and move on.

Just relax and don't think about it. It will come back to you and if not, just think these are just a pair of pants. I am sure you have lost many other things in your life..

It's not rally about the pants its about the fact that others do not have consideration of you after using your things without your permission. The issue is beyond the pants at this point and more about a principle.

Think about it if you were an adult and you were at work and you had in your office a change of clothes and someone came in and took your change of clothes because someone had a accident then they did not return your clothes for an extended period you may feel a little upset. I know I become bothered about a stapler.

On the other hand things happen and whatever I send to my sitter before I send it I think will I be upset if my child rips it, gets mud all over it or it comes back a different color. I never send my best.

If you can financially afford to replace the pants do so and let it go because it could and will affect your childs relationship at the daycare and the way they treat you and what they tell you.

But I understand your frustration what the teacher did was not cool. I suggest you provide the teacher with your childs replacement pants and put masking tape on the pants clearly labeled with your childs name. She will definetely get the point. Then let it go!

If the other mom doesn't return them, then ask the school to replace the pants.

Tell the teacher that you either want your child's clothes returned or she can replace them. After all, it was her fault to start with. She won't be so inclined to put another childs clothes on the wrong student. Write your sons name on everything that goes to school with him. This will also remind the other Mom that she has your son's clothes.

Updated

Tell the teacher that you either want your child's clothes returned or she can replace them. After all, it was her fault to start with. She won't be so inclined to put another childs clothes on the wrong student. Write your sons name on everything that goes to school with him. This will also remind the other Mom that she has your son's clothes.

I think you should try to compose yourself. This is really not that big of a crisis. My son (over 15 years ago) went to kindergarten with a fairly expensive, brand new denim coat with wool fleece lining, and a tag boldly marked with his name and phone number. It disappeared the first day. The replacement coat, a bright red ski jacket with a hood (much less expensive) and also marked with his name and phone # also disappeared, about a week after he wore it for the first time.

I put messages up on the bulletin board, searched all the lost and founds, told each teacher to be on the lookout, along with the classroom "moms" and neither coat was ever found.

I suggest you buy the least expensive clothing for "spare" wear from now on, and chalk it up to a lesson learned, with the idea that "someone needed the clothes much worse than me."

Personally, I don't think you're overreacting at all! I would be furious if that happened to me/my kid. Teacher had no right to go into someone backpack in the first place. I would definitely contact the parent directly and ask for the pants back if you haven't gotten them back yet. Good luck!

1) not that big of a deal-have you seen the news lately- would you want to live in Japan right now-- pretty sure some of them have no pants-reallign your priorities-- please-- for the sake of your child if nothing else--calm down--the pants will come home eventually
2) buy clothes a size up and you dont have to line dry-- i line dried for years-and i have 5 kids--and work--i can tell you now that i buy a size up and use the 2011 dryer it is made for it is much easier-- just a suggestion and less stressful
3) promise you the teacher will not make that mistake again with your child-- for all the hard comments people have given you-- you also gave to the poor teacher--what do you think she thinks when she looks at your child now--'oh he is the one with the crazy mother' ?! make ammends with her---she spends a lot of time with your child--
4) in the future-- put pants you could care less about in the backpack

Hi there.

Bypass the teacher and the school. Go directly to the parent of the child who received your son's pants. Be polite and simply say, "Hi.. I'm Kelly, (son's name)'s mom. I believe the teacher put my son's pants on your son last week, and I just wanted to let you know it's not necessary for you to wash them before bringing them back". It's possible the teacher hasn't even called the other mother. She may be hoping you will just let it go.

By going directly to the mother, you are sending a message to the teacher that you are not a parent who just lets these things go. Arrive to school a little early so that you can talk with the parent of the boy.

Best of luck!
L.