Inapropriate Relationship W a Co-Worker

If my husband had an inappropriate relationship with a co-worker? I would expect him to leave to job, and go to counseling on his own and with me.

I have known a few people (well, 2) who have gone through this. One couple worked it out, one divorced. The couple that worked, addressed the issues. The husband confronted himself in therapy, as to why he sought attention outside of his vows. They also worked on fixing their marriage. The other couple, not so much. The husband refused to leave the place of employment and cut off contact. He wouldn't go to counseling.

When I think that my husband is getting "too close" with someone or I can see that someone is responding to him in a certain way, I talk to him. I let him know that I'd like for him to be careful. Depending on what's been said or done, I might request specific action. I keep my eye on it and make myself more visible where I can.

He doesn't always like to hear it, so he's not always open to my observations or suggestions in the moment.

Talk to him, you both know how things start and it is not uncommon to become closer at the workplace due to the shared time and interests. If he's an adult and makes his family a priority he should be able to freeze that relationship to the starting point and to let it die. If he's not, then he'll let it grow and ruin his life. But then it'll be his choice, his fault and ,unfortunately, your problem. Talk like friends would, he cannot ignore how things go between opposite sexes when the occasion arises.

Haven't been in this predicament myself, but I have seen people with office "husbands" and office "wives." Nothing sexual, but the pairs were all but inseparable, and as ornery and bickersome as old married couples. Can't speak as to whether it caused any strife at the home front.

Meanwhile, for decades, my father and his foreman had what could probably be described in modern terms as a bromance. Those two were also inseparable, ornery and bickersome. They still go fishing together, and tease as to which of them is responsible for their slate of bad luck. Dad's relationship with his foreman didn't cause any strife on the home front. In fact my mother and the foreman's wife were each pleased that their husbands had found good company, and someone to shoot the "s" with.

Good luck to you and yours,
F. B.

Once, before we were married, my husband came home with a rice cooker. You know, those things that steam rice in a machine? Sort of resembles a slow cooker.

Anyway, he told me some one at work gave it to him because she felt sorry that he was home alone (we did not live together) with no woman to cook for him. The unmitigated gall of this chick!

I went off for so long, and for weeks, over this, threatening to confront her if I see her when I visit him at work. He was so annoyed by my maniacal ranting he threw the thing in the garbage and never used it. And, I think I scared my husband, because he told me that suddenly she had stopped talking to him (I bet my husband began talking to her differently after my rants). And that was that.

Not me or my husband, but my husband's ex-wife had a relationship with one of her superiors at her place of work while they were still married - supposedly they were only friends and "nothing happened" but the guy also took her out to lunch a lot, gave her spending money, she started confiding in him about her marriage troubles, etc. Hubby didn't take it well, they were having other issues, they went to marriage counseling, then SHE ended up divorcing HIM when she wasn't willing to change her behavior. Over a year later, they were "suddenly" dating and were officially in a romantic relationship with each other.