Hello Moms. I need a little help. I was put on bed rest a few weeks ago, and have 2 months until my due date if I make it that far. I cannot go to work; therefore, we are on a VERY tight budget. I have some family members who have been helping me out. My sister in law (and very good friend) was originally going to watch my 4 year old while I worked part-time, and we had arranged to pay her. I found out this bed rest news the first day she started watching her. She offered to continue watching her, not only for the entire day but for no charge right now. Our original plans will resume when I return to work after the baby. My mom and dad don't always have a lot of money, but they're finding awesome ways to help us out. They made a Sam's run for us and didn't accept my payback. They've purchased a couple things for us here and there, and they've made us a few dinners for the freezer. They have traveled two hours (one-way) to our house about once a week since finding this out to help with housework and home improvements we've been in the middle of so we can be better prepared for baby's arrival. My husband works full time, takes care of housework (more than he normally pitches in) and of course comes with me to my now weekly appointments. He has a lot on his plate, and of course takes care of our daughter when he's home in the evenings - this includes dropping her off and picking her up at my sister in law's, which is completely out of his way to work. I feel slightly bad sitting there seeing all these people pick up my life where I left off (I know why it's important that I'm on bed rest, but it is hard not to be able to help). I cannot pay any of these people any money, and I can't buy something nice for my husband as a thank you. By the time I get back to work, we'll be playing catch-up and just able to get back on our feet shortly after. Does anyone have any good, inexpensive, but meaningful/appropriate gifts for these people who are really helping me out? I know I need the help, and they all don't expect repayment - this is what family does - but I HAVE to thank them by more than just saying it. What they do means so much to me so that I can keep this baby healthy and in the "oven" safely. Any suggestions would be helpful - sorry for the long explanation :) Thanks, Moms!
For now just verbally tell them how much you appreciate everything they are doing for you.
Then after the baby is born and you are feeling well, have everyone over for dinner. And express to them that you are hosting a "Thank you dinner" for them because you want to thank them for all of their help and support. I don't think a gift is necessary!
Truthfully, you've already answered your own question.
They're doing it all because they love you and want to help your family.
I'd write a very nice thank you not to everyone once you've safely delivered!
Sometimes the hardest thing in life is to graciously accept help when we need it most...
Best wishes!
These people are all stepping in to help you because they want to help out. They aren't expecting anything in return. You might want to write a note to each one letting them know how much their help has touched your heart. Then after the baby is born thrown a party to thank them for helping your family through this difficult time.
After that remember to be a friend to others when they have a need. Play it forward.
Thank you cards go a long way. Once you get on your feet financially give them gift cards for gas, or coffee. Buy them a weeks worth of groceries. They know that you fully appreciate them and for now, take it and wait till you can return the favor the way that you really want to.
Please don't worry about this right now. These are people who love you and your children and want to help you. Believe me... if they didn't want to help, they wouldn't be doing so.
After your healthy beautiful baby is born and you are back on your feet... a framed picture of your two children with a heartfelt and handwritten thank you is really all that is needed... and remember that if they need help with something you and your husband should be the first ones knocking on the door!
My mom had major foot surgery back in May and since both my sister and I live in different states from her, her friends helped her out a TON (in addition to my dad, of course). They brought her dinners, picked up her house, and kept her company. Unlike you, she IS in the financial position to buy them something, but like your family, they don't want/expect anything in return. So, this weekend (now that she is reasonably recovered), she hosted a "thank you" dinner for everyone that helped out while she was laid up from her surgery. Everyone had a great time and my mom was able to show them how much she appreciated their help.
I, too, was on bedrest for 2 months. It's hard to watch everyone else do the things that you would normally be doing, isn't it? I think the important thing to remember is that people are helping you because they want to--because they want to see your baby be born healthy. I think one of the nicest things you can do is send a card with the baby's picture (once he/she is born) thanking them for their help and reminding them that it was the help they gave you that made a healthy birth possible for your baby.
Best of luck with the bedrest!
J.
just print out your question and send it to them. :)
Seriously just a hand written personalized thank you letter to each person. Tell them in writing how important they are to your life and that of your husband, daughter, and baby on the way.
I think that if you are spending money on gifts, it is kind of saying you have money and don't need the help, which they know isn't true. They want you saving the money for your family not to spend on them. They will want a THANK YOU. Once everything settles down you can make a big dinner for everyone as a thank you for helping out during your pregnancy.
Good Luck with Baby and staying still for the next two months!
It sounds like you have some lovely family members who are helping you because they really care about you and your family and understand that your resources and energy are quite limited. Honestly, I think a heartfelt letter would mean a lot to them. If your budget would allow for a couple simple photo album/scrapbook types of books, write a note of appreciation for the first page of the book and later on provide some photos of them with the baby and your older child.
I would take a nice photo of you and your little one, and use it to make some special refrigerator magnets - you can buy little frames that hold a small photo. That way they can put you on their fridge, and give themselves a little pat on the back for helping you out every time they open the door. That and a nice note telling them how much they helped you would be enough - maybe $5 a person total.
Now, for your husband, you could give him a magnet to put somewhere in his office too, but most of all, you're giving him a child. And that's plenty! Take good care of yourself. I'm so glad you have this wonderful family around you!
I think just writing a nice letter or thank you card would be sufficient for now. They seem to understand that you are unable to do for yourself right now and they also seem to understand that things are tight financially. Honesty, a letter expressing your gratitude would probably mean more to these people than anything else. When you are back on your feet, literally and financially, maybe you could bake them something special or get them some gift cards for a nice restaurant or something nice that they wouldn't normally treat themselves to.
Try to relax and take care of yourself right now. :)
I agree with some of the other suggestions. With the time you have available now write them each a nice thank you letter, more than just a note. After the baby arrives give them each a nice framed photo of the baby and/or the baby with its older sister. Good luck! I was on bedrest for 4 weeks with my oldest (born 4 weeks early) so I've kind of been in your shoes.
I was in the same situation 4 years ago, but luckily it was with my first baby, so we didn't have another child to be looked after, and we weren't QUITE as strapped for cash, as we wouldn've been 2nd time around. It IS very hard to stay on bedrest and follow orders, when you feel like an invalid and like everyone is doing everything for you/the world/your life is passing you by, and you may not feel physically like you have anything wrong with you, and you could just do stuff on your own - DON'T DO IT. Make sure you stay to Dr.s orders, it is important, and let them help you, they love you and this coming baby and want the best health for you both.
There will be plenty of opportunities in the future to pay it back to them through favors and pay it forward to others in similar postions. Also like everyone else said, write them each a heartfelt letter and tell them how much what they have done means, and that as soon as you recover and get in a routine with the new baby, you will be hapy to pay them back with any kind of help you cna give them.
In the meantime, I know you wantot give something back, and I rememeber how it was to be stuck in bed all day, bored stiff....One thing I wish I had done at the time, and would do now if I was in that situation - take up a hobby like crocheting or knitting, that you can do in bed, easily, which is fun, interesting/occupies your many boring hours in bed, and can make gifts for others! I do crochet now, in between taking care of 2 pre-schoolers, but i just dream of what I could've gotten done then with 3 months of bedrest on my own, with no-one to distract me, LOL!
There are lots of easy patterns, free online, and in books from the library, you can learn to crochet from books and videos from the library, and then make everyone something. Yarn isn't too expensive, either, and you probably only need an H sized and/or I sized hook,a nd whatever Yarn is on sale. You can make winter hats, washclothes and towels for the kitchen, hotpads, scarves, cute little purses, stuffed toys, baby clothes, socks. slippers, and learn a new skill at the same time - they say skills like knitting and crochet help ward off dementia and alzheimers if you keep at them as you get older, bonus!
Good Luck!
Jessie
P.S. Call your local public library and see if they will deliver books ot people in your position, many will.
I love making cards. They *can* be expensive to make, or they can be free. Take beautiful paper, little treasures, drawings, photos - whatever you like. I like using a stiff paper as backing. The concept is a lot like scrapbooking, but the result is a card.
Inside, tell them what you told us! That sure would go a long way! When baby is born you could print out some lovely photos and pass them around with a secondary thank you. I'm so glad you're getting the support you need! You deserve it!
