Ipad and or Phone Limited Use for Teens and Tweens

As long as my kids are keeping up their school work, responsibilities, still maintain their various other interest, and so on, we don't set time limits on their tech use.

If they were obsessed tech zombies who didn't interact directly with people, quit doing well in school, stopped going outside, or got snotty, then there would need to be a change.

Just make sure whatever your limit, you and your husband follow it as well.
I find it incredibly hypocritical (and I know our children do too) when we adults set screen "limits" for our kids, but continue to talk, text, surf and watch TV as much as we want.
Be consistent with not only your rules but your EXAMPLE.

The rules surrounding media in our house have always been more about courtesy. No phones during meals, eye contact when you are having a conversation and put it to bed when you go to bed. Now as teenagers they wouldn't think of staring at the phone during dinner or scrolling along while having a conversation.

How can you say 2 hours is too much or too little when the device is capable of delivering so much? Is watching a movie, listening to music, surfing the web, looking at social media, texting a friend, reading a book, researching a topic of interest, reading about current events, writing or watching sports all created equal?

This generation will have to find that balance themselves as we really cannot relate. I believe if you raise active, courteous and naturally curious children you don't have to count the screen minutes. I don't want to be the phone police and honestly with a 14 year old your days are numbered in that job anyway!

it's a tough call because while 2 hours might be super-duper strict and limiting for some families, in others it's going to be way too much. SO much depends on the kids involved, and how addicted they become.

and in many cases it does indeed present all the characteristics of addiction.

but not always. and since you've got two kids who aren't demonstrating any issues, i wouldn't go overboard in trying to line up your family with what's typical.

the more pressing question is what do they do when they're NOT in front of a screen. if they're busy, active, engaged, social and like to read, i'd say you're doing fine as you are and carry on. but if it seems as if they're starting to eschew active play, going outside and direct contact with friends then it's time to reel it in.

ETA LOVE k-bell's answer!
khairete
S.

We don't limit electronics unless it is interfering with something getting done, like homework. I don't feel like static limits teach anything. So you have two hours, you have that two hours if your room is a mess, your homework isn't done, you just have two hours. You also only have two hours if your homework is done and your room is spotless. What is the point?

I think sometimes its more helpful to say "when" and "where" rather than "how much". In other words, no electronics alone in the bedroom, or no electronics after 8 pm or 9 pm.

I agree with the others, that if the child is getting good grades, keeping up with chores and personal responsibilities, has friends and seems well-adjusted, is involved with social activities whether they're sports or the arts or school clubs (according to the child's abilities and interests), then certain freedoms and privileges are extended.

It's important to communicate the concept of privileges and trust to the child. It's good to phrase it less as "you'll have restrictions" and more as "the way you show your trustworthiness and responsibility and personal accountability determines the privileges that you earn". In other words, make it positive, not negative. And be clear about what personal accountability means (honesty, integrity, healthy eating and lifestyle habits, etc).

We're not a very structured family so I don't have limits and stuff for use. I'm sure it would be very helpful - it's just not so much my personality. I just don't care to check on everyone to make sure they haven't gone over the limit. I think they need to be responsible. When I get the feeling they aren't being responsible and their activity levels are suffering, or their chores, or I can they are just turning into lazy sloths, I just say "OFF" and I'll ban all electronics (TV, computer etc.) for the day or part of the day. They know that's what happens. So it keeps them in check most of the time ..

I find it especially challenging now that older ones are in middle school because it's the culture. I have gone down to park with my younger ones only to find all the teens who were kicked outdoors by their parents to be sitting on their bikes with their phones out. Sad. Same - as school bus goes down, my kids are next to their buds, all the heads are down staring at phones.

We just keep trying to provide opportunities for fun in other ways. I suppose that's where I direct my energy rather than strictly monitoring usage. They know they will be starting to look for part time jobs soon - if they are that bored, they can earn some money. I babysat and had a paper route (I know, what's that??? they asked) at this age.
One big thing I'm doing is getting rid of this xbox thing where they can play with their friends. Someone gave a subscription to my son as a gift, and I will be glad when it runs out. They do have all their friends on playing together so I guess it's social (?) but still - hours can go by. That's when I say "We'll drop you at the skate park" instead.

It's frustrating for sure. My mother reminds me we'd watch tv (especially TV night with all the tops shows) or talk to our friends for hours on the phone. My brother was addicted to ATARI. We're also a family of introverts, so my kids don't always want to play with each other or friends. They like days "off" so ... I go for moderation. Some days we have more electronics than the busy days. Pick our battles right?

When I was a kid, 2 hours of TV was nothing. Now, unless we are watching a movie or a predetermined show with permission, the TV is almost never on - we don't have cable and my kids have to ask before the TV goes on (they are 11 and 13). That being said, my son can easily rack up two hours of mine craft if I'm not paying attention, and he's learning programming in techie club at school, so he likes to make his own computer games - that I don't count against his screen time really because he's learning coding. And my daughter will surf the internet looking for information on Disney and animatronic engineering, which she wants to do when she grows up - she doesn't even do social media, but she too can easily rack up hours of surfing time. I had to turn off the internet from her phone because she was doing that instead of studying. That being said, all of her assignments with very few exceptions are submitted and completed online, so she has to be on her computer frequently.

All that is to say, when you factor in all the different ways they use media, just to play and to learn, it's pretty hard to limit it to under two hours. During the week, they really only get about 30 minutes a day on average of free play time - there are so many other things they need to do with extra curricular activities and homework and family time, but on the weekends, I'm less restrictive.

In our house 2 hours total on devices and one hour of that is mandatory reading prior to app usage for our 12 year old. The time is the same whether on the weekend or holiday break. We feel that seeing as she is also a straight A student that our limits have proven effective and for her benefit.

Is this on a daily basis? Two hours seems reasonable on the weekend or on school breaks, but on a school day it seems quite excessive. I would be concerned that if they consistently spend two hours a day on electronics then they aren't getting enough exercise, socialization, fresh air, chores etc.

First, I loved what Mamazita pointed out-- the double-standard we adults often have around our own use of devices. Kiddo's been home this week with a cold, and while I did let him have more screen time than usual, we both took media breaks to do other things. Telling him "we can have media time at 3:30, right now, lets think of something to do" has been good for both of us. Telling him *when* he can do it again really helps to reassure him and he more fully engages with other activities.

In our home, media time comes after homework, chores, anything that he needs to do. Because we know he's young (8) and not going to be good at self-regulating, we make sure that we provide guidance. (Like, instead of saying "you can play after dinner", it's 'you can play after 7 o'clock, and your PJs need to be on', so he knows he's got lots of time to eat well and do his tasks.) He's also, fortunately, the kind of kid you can say "go around the block four times on your scooter and then we'll see"-- and we'll find that he's had a great time talking to the neighbors, bumping into friends, etc.... Once he shifts gears, he seems to fully engage in whatever else he's doing. I guess it just depends on the kiddo!

I think each family is different when it comes to electronics. My sister will not allow her kids to use any electronic for more then two hours and is very strict about it, they would be on 24/7 if she didn't. I try my best to limit my daughters electronic usage, but some days she is on them much longer then I would like.

It is usually the days when we don't get out of the house. Living in the country with no neighbor kids to play with and she gets board so she plays on a Minecraft server and meets up with friends there. I figure as long as her home-school lessons are completed and her other assignments are done then its ok with me, but I don't allow her to turn any of it on until after 3pm.

I realize that computers are the new norm now and kids will be using them all the time when they are adults (at work, home, etc.). I think it is important for kids to learn how to manage their time on and off electronics. Some kids need to be un-plugged and some will do it on their own.

You say your kids are getting good grades and are behaved so I wouldn't worry if they go over two hours. As long as the electronics are not running their lives.

We don't have a set number of hours but more like time frame. My kids are 16 and 13. There is NO electronics (phone, tablets or laptops) upstairs...EVER (all our bedrooms are upstairs). During the school week they come home and do chores and homework FIRST. Then they get on at 4:00. We eat dinner in the middle sometime (no electronics at the table for anyone) and they get off them at 730. Weekends we play it by ear. If I feel they have been on them for a long stretch of time I just tell them to take a break for awhile. Some weekends are busier than others and during the summer when it's 115 outside we are ok with them being on a little longer. Winter we are usually outside more so they aren't on as much. Those are the 'basic' rules. We also take them away when they don't do their chores, they will lose them for the night. Good luck.

My daughter is 12. She has a cell phone that is primarily for when she's at school and it sits up on the counter when she's home. She has an iPod and is allowed to listen to music on it during the week. She can play games on it for an hour on Friday night and Saturday. I'm really strict with it because she has such a great imagination and I want her to play. I think kids get sucked into the Internet (I am certainly guilty of it) and forget how to play and interact with people. She also knows that if she wants to chat with a friend she can call them. No texting.

When their school work is done they can spend as much time online as they want. They are active happy kids and make As and Bs so they obviously don't need silly rules about what they can do with their free time. It's their time.

I have a 10 and 12 year old. We typically prefer to let them use screens (any, including TV) after they have done their chores and their homework. Now, that said, if they procrastinate like they sometimes do, we can go all week with no screen time. It's really up to them. I also would like to start doing family game time, like old school board games and things. I think it's always fun to add that in along with watching movies together and going places. As long as we're getting things done, I don't worry too much about it. I just try to have balance and make sure they are developing a strong work ethic. Now, if I can just enforce the screen rule with my hubby! No screen time until you change the filters. haha.