What Kind of Daily Time Limit on "Electronics" Is Reasonable ?

I didn't set specific limits, but my kid had other things to occupy her time.
Once her chores were done, her time was hers to spend as she wished. Sometimes that was playing outside, sometimes reading, sometimes watching tv, sometimes online.

Yes, there should be limits just as limits with tv. Social media and communicating via technology is ruining relationships.

No limits at all. As long as my kids got their schoolwork, exercise, social time and chores done, and were otherwise healthy, active people I let them spend their free/down time however they wanted. Just like I do.
Maybe if you allowed your daughter to use technology like most people do nowadays she wouldn't be binge-ing on it so much.
My son LOVES video and computer games, digital photography and film making (reading and running/hiking too) and is about to graduate with a BS in Computer Science. He knows how to code and program and has been teaching kids these same skills at our local university summer camp for the past few years.
So glad I didn't set "limits" on his natural passions :-)

We did not set limits.

My now 21 yr old used her computer for class work and continues to do so.

The fact that she's an only child means nothing.

Communicate with your child, be her sounding board and use good judgement.

My 9, almost 11 year old, and almost 13 year old don't have limits. They don't get to be on them all the time, but that's because if it's nice weather they want to be outside playing...unless they are at school or one of their activities. We are very busy with football, baseball, basketball, and dance, that when we are home, if they want to unwind on their devices, so be it.

She's using them that way because she's only allowed them certain times of the week. That's hard. How do you unwind? I'm sure you do something daily that helps you wind down from a crazy day - and maybe she wants to use her devices for a bit.

Communicate with her and stop setting limits, but teach her how to use technology responsibly.

I am with 'mamazita' on this.

My kids are older, and I know technology keeps changing, BUT, my basic rules were that IF they had completed schoolwork and any chores, they were free to use electronics. They were also ALL very active with outside activities, so their time was limited by those activities.

The ONLY rules/restrictions I had were NO electronics during family meals. And also (when we still went to church) no electronics at church.

I wish you well. I am glad mine are now 19 and older!

I've never had a set limit.

For me, it's more about how long they have been on in one go. When they look glazed over, I say "Ok off" and they get to finish up what they were working on, playing, watching, etc.

My kids are introverts and home bodies. So when they are actively involved in sports, after school activities, going to the park with friends, over to friends' houses, etc. they want down time and I'm ok with screen time. It's how they unwind.

But it's a challenge. For me our rule is - if you've become a grouch, you were on too long. So I've been known to say "Ok no more for today" and they know where they go - next to fridge on counter.

The problem is not 'how much screen time', the problem you describe is her reaction when you tell her 'time to get off'.

First, to answer your question: I feel like we are at a point that we are fairly liberal with screen time. We homeschool and have a lot of time at our discretion. We do have balance, though. Like others have stated, other tasks must be done first AND *attitude* about getting off the device/laptop must be reasonable. Kiddo knows that, aside from a short window of time in the morning when we are both waking up, there's no recreational media time until after 3:30 and all of his tasks are completed satisfactorily.

Understand that there is a chemical brain response going on when your child is playing anything on the screen. Just like TV. Little releases of dopamine are happening constantly when your child is engaged that way. So, when you say "all done", figuratively you are telling your child "I'm about to take that 'happy drug' away from you." and then they crash. Then it's meltdown time, tears, ignoring the parent....

We did away with most of that by having clear consequences for that.
First, put a time limit on his gaming with a timer nearby. I ask him to check that timer every so often. I prompt this with "how much time do you have left?" every so often. I hang around toward the end, once he's at his last 5 minutes or so. I give him a verbal 5 minute warning. (My child has some very real challenges with normal, everyday transitions, so he needs more help than a typical kid his age.) If he's watching videos, I have him choose which ones he's going to watch *before* I let him have that time.

When it's time to leave the computer/device, I am clear: first, I am not the timer. The timer is the timer. If you cannot get off in a reasonable manner, you get no more media time for that day. (So, he has about 2 hours a day, but it's broken up in to chunks, which I will explain a bit later.)Or if it's a big fuss, sorry, no media time tomorrow/next week/whatever. When it was really bad we took a break for a few weeks. He is not *owed* media time and will not die without it. We are very consistent about that consequence.

The other piece of it is that we rarely allow him to play for more than one hour at a time. This is to help his brain chemistry stay regulated. After an hour we pretty much have to turn off the screen and go outside, for a walk, come help with some chores,help making dinner, go read a book, go out with your scooter or bike.... I compare it to nursing an alcoholic drink over an hour or so instead of drinking it quickly. Your body will respond better and more reasonably to a few sips every so often than just guzzling it down all at once. Once you have read up on the physiological effects of screen time, you can understand how this relates to any other 'pleasant' chemical the body ingests or produces. That's the same reason some people over-indulge in yoga or running or their own screen time/gaming... it's a nifty chemical, dopamine. What we have to be aware of is our own addictive behaviors. :)

I know it's a wacky way to look at screen time, but that's my philosophy. My son loves playing online with his dad in the evenings, he isn't just cruising the internet for 'stuff', he's very pointed in what he wants to look up or watch. Some days, we don't have time for media, some days, we have more time. I try not to make it something to argue about, more something we all enjoy in our different ways and we impart our own expectations on how he's expected to handle himself when those transitions come up. It doesn't make things perfect, but it does keep them consistent as our son is still learning how to regulate his own emotions and actions when he's disappointed. I try less to 'rule' and more to guide, because one day, he's going to have to be in charge of himself in this realm.

(Reading through the other answers, I feel compelled to add that our 'media time' is pretty much all screen time, period. That said, I don't live chained to an expectation. Last week I had kidney stones and needed to sleep during the day. Some days, Kiddo read for that time, some days, Scooby Doo was a great babysitter. I try to model healthy attitudes toward media/screen time as well. It seems to work for everyone not to have rules set in stone. And like Mamazita's kiddo, mine also enjoys learning about technology and coding. Think hard about what you are *wanting to happen* (as opposed to fearful thinking/action) as you change things before adopting new rules for your girl.)

I hope that your daughter is playing age-appropriate games or watching age-appropriate movies, and not on social media (instagram, facebook, snapchat, yik yak, etc). That's first and foremost.

Then, I think the key is balance. If she's using electronics, but playing with friends (real playing, like kicking a soccer ball, riding bikes, playing board games, just sitting on the swings and talking), getting the grades that show she's doing her best work in school, is physically active, turns off the screens at night and sleeps well, does appropriate chores at home, eats in a healthy way, then that would demonstrate that the use of electronics is already reasonable.

If she does nothing on the weekend except sit at that screen in her pjs, ignoring the world, mindlessly reaching for chips and a soda while glued to the screen, refusing chores, turning friends away, then the use of electronics is not reasonable in that case.

Then what happens is the rules and boundaries are established. No social media. No screen time during meals. No screen time as a bedtime routine (shut them off an hour before, and read or listen to quiet music). And as NervyGirl said, a timer is the timer, which provides a warning, and the child can prepare to end the game. No sudden "shut that off now" from the parents. Instead, a silent setting of the timer for a reasonable time, and if the timer is not acknowledged, the screen time for the next day is gone.

I agree that a brief screen time each evening, when homework is done, when chores are done, when the next day's things are set (clothing for school, permission slips, backpack, lunch made), might help alleviate the desire to be on the electronics all weekend.

But watch those apps! They can be disguised as innocent things like calculators. She should not be sharing photos. And you as the parents MUST have all her screen names, passwords, and sites that she visits. If she deletes history, she loses the device. If she won't share her password, she loses the device. If she won't tell you what sites she's on, she loses the device. You're paying for the devices and the wi-fi, and she is barely even a pre-teen, and those sites have age restrictions. Make that clear and stay consistent.

I never really had limits with them at that age (still don't)... but instead, rules about use. In other words, the amount of time wasn't the issue, but time and place could be. No computer when homework isn't done (unless homework requires using it, and as they get older, it can). No phones/computer at the dinner table. (Just like it's rude to bring a book and read at the table, that isn't allowed, either.) If grades were lacking, rules were implemented where they earned screen time for grades. There was plenty of time allowed, but it had to be earned first. Slack at school, not care about your grades, or simply not get it together and turn your assignments in and earn poor grades, well... there are consequences.

But just a flat, "you are only allowed to be on the computer/watch TV for 5 hours on Saturdays and no other time"? Nope. Never. And while I know a lot of parents who went with the idea of "only on weekends" and then set no limits on weekends (often this was for the TV), I always allowed TV after school work was done. Why not?

For the most part, my kids didn't spend an inordinate amount of time with electronics. They liked to veg out and watch TV a little after extra curricular activities and before dinner. Ok. No big deal. They'd get out their DSlites and play games (sometimes it was all they wanted to play for a few days in a row... then it would be set aside for something else). Like adults, their mood changes and they don't always want to do the exact same thing. Some days (or weeks) it would be Minecraft. Depending on if they had friends they just discovered playing and wanted to play together with them.

But if she keeps her chores done, on top of school work, isn't rude and maintains proper respectfulness towards you, then I don't see the point in making it off limits just for the sake of making it off limits.

If you want her to spend more time outside, fine. Say so. "You need to spend 30 minutes outside every afternoon, moving, exerting yourself, and then you can do what you want to relax after..."
But in my experience, forbidden fruit often got more attention than what was available on the counter at all times.

Screen time (tv/computer/ipad/phone/computer and video games) is a privilege not a right.
Privileges are constantly earned by good behavior, working hard at school and getting chores done/helping around the house and yard.
If the screen time isn't earned, then she gets none - and yes, you can/should limit how much she gets.
I look at it this way - for her future school and career she'll be doing more on computers all the time - she's got her whole life in front of her to be hunched over in front of a screen of one sort or another.
She's only a child once and right now is when she needs to be riding a bike, climbing a tree, playing on a beach, rolling down a grassy hill, planting a garden, jumping in leaves, enjoying the great outdoors, etc.
So, after her school work and chores are finished, she should get no more than 2 hrs recreational screen time per day - and that's only if she's earned her fun screen time - if she didn't, then she's going to have to do something else for fun.
You provide access to the internet and devices - and you can take them away.
In fact, all devices should be out of her room at night and you should be locking them up anyway so she's not tempted to sneak to use them behind your back.

Unless your child is obese or otherwise unhealthy why would you limit this?
I think my husband watches "too much" TV but that's how he likes to unwind. My youngest is more of a reader and crafter, my oldest likes playing online games and doing/learning stuff on youtube and I myself love just surfing the internet to learn about things I do during the day like cooking and gardening and sure just laughing or being entertained, whatever. I'd rather do that than watch TV but I don't try to set limits on my husband and kids because of my own personal likes/dislikes.
We all spend time together every night and have jobs, lives and school, we are busy and tired at the end of the day so no, there are no limits on electronics around here. We give each other space to enjoy our leisure time. Isn't that important too?

I don't set limits.

Updated

I don't set limits.

During the week, homework and chores must be done FIRST before anything fun is done. Weekends are a bit more lax. If I feel like they have been on them too long then I just tell them to get off and do something else for awhile.

My kids are older...16 and 13. They are not allowed to have any electronics upstairs at all and they are off everything, including tv, at 9pm every night during the week so they have time to relax before bed and can get up on their own in the mornings. I also have parental guilds and apps on them to block/monitor what they are on and have access to. THAT is more important to me than the time spent playing. JMO. Good luck.

If everything else is done then I don't care what they do with their free time. At 10 years old she could be doing many other things but our world doesn't exist anymore. Being on a cell phone or tablet and doing games and stuff with friends is like us being on the phone for hours when we were kids.

In a few years pretty much every communication, school lesson, and interaction with others will go through some electronic device.

If I think the kids have been online too much we leave the house and go do something else.

If she's truly on devices every moment of the weekend, it sounds as if she is, in her mind, "making up for lost time" -- she's gobbling down way too much screen time on weekends to make up for having none at other times. I agree with B. that non-school-related device time should be earned and for me, that would include weekend time on devices.

You don't mention how she's doing in school and for me that would be key to the whole question. Doesn't she have any homework over weekends? If she doesn't, or has very little, that will change soon, and when she's in middle school she cannot continue with weekend binges on social media or entertainment because it will hurt her schoolwork. So you need to break this bad habit starting now.

I'd sit down with her and discuss how what she currently does is indeed bingeing--she's gorging herself on weekends and that's not healthy for her brain or her body. She won't like to hear this and will resist but you need to be calm and especially need to convey to her that you are not punishing her by curtailing her screen time (though yes, she will see it that way anyway). And your husband or significant other or whatever other adults are in the household need to be on the same page as you for certain or this will fail.

I'd limit weekend screen time to something reasonable -- maybe two hours on Fridays and Saturdays (each) and an hour on Sundays (which in our house, when DD was your DD's age, was a day for ramping down and getting ready for the school and work week). And she needs to have a clear understanding of what earns that time -- Is it earned by chores, by completion of homework, by grades, by just not fussing about certain things, etc.? You need to decide but to be fair -- don't make her earn screen time with a tough and excessive amount of chores or with grades that you know are going to be extremely difficult for her. I wouldn't choose specific grades as a way to earn things, myself, but whatever you decide on as her way to earn this time, be clear with her in advance what earns the time and what loses it (fussiing about wanting more screen time was an automatic LOSS of screen time in our house). Get her to work with you to decide on how this new routine will work.

Also, if she is on screens ALL weekend right now, she needs some other activities outside the house. If she doesn't have those, then make it fun for her to choose something she really wants to do, and don't force a team sport if she's not into that (I mention team sports because so many parents seem to push kids into them as the only way to get a kid active, but iinstead she might like an art class, a busy Girl Scout troop, volunteering outdoors, an individual sport, even a card or non-electronic-gaming club--our local library has those for kids and teens!).

So basically: She picks weekend activities (make sure she feels she got to make the choice and you didin't just "put her into something"); you limit screen time; you make it an earned thing; but you also are very clear and up front with her so she knows what to expect, and what will gain her or lose her the screen time. You can also consider giving her maybe 30 minutes every other day during the school week to contact friends if she does that on devices, so she doesn't feel she must spend every minute of the weekend texting, if that's what's going on; but those weeknight sessions should be strictly earned by completion of schoolwork, and should be timed.

Tecnology can be very useful for your knowledge or dangerous for your body or your social life especially at 10yo, it depends on the way you use it. To avoid eyes damage on long run you should take 15minutes break every hour on the screen, a bad posture could ruin your back, and so on. For my daughters having time limit means to find more healty activities.
I would set time limit to one hour a day for school days, only after homeworks and chores done and not one hour before bedtime. On weekend limit to 3 hours or similar. To avoid discussion we use parental control software that limit time "automatically", we use naturehealth children's care for pc and dinnertimeapp for phones (that is perfect fot phones but free only for a device).

I don't think there is a single correct answer to this question. I do think that kids like rules that are unambiguous though. Our rule is no electronics between breakfast and dinner. It works for us because it's the same every day of the week. And when I enforce it, my kids don't feel like it's on a whim. It's a solid rule that is the same every single day.

My sons are 10, 12 and 18. The only thing we truly limit is video games, which are allowed only from Friday afternoon through Sunday evening, if they are caught up on school work and haven't done anything else to cause them to lose time (my 12 year old frequently loses the privilege). Because they play hockey 8 months a year and there are 3 of them sharing the same console, there are natural limits on how much they play. Sometimes it's only a few minutes out of the entire weekend, sometimes it's a few hours.

During the week, they're usually only home for a couple of hours a day. I have time limits on the computer my younger boys share, which they can use from 6-8 AM (in case they need to finish something for school or print a report or whatever) and then from 3-9 PM. Anyone who needs it for school work gets priority, otherwise, once school work is done, they can use it or watch TV. Again with multiple kids sharing devices, their time limits itself naturally.

Given that your daughter doesn't have to share her devices, I would consider adding more time during the week, within the 2 hour limit on total screen time, with extra time on weekends - maybe an hour or so in the morning and an hour or so later in the day. Lump leisure use of a computer, tablet, or any other device in with TV and treat it the same - one form of entertainment, to be balanced with crafts, reading, time with friends, going outdoors, playing board games, etc. after chores, family obligations and school work are done. You don't want to make it "forbidden fruit" but you don't want her to spend her weekends in an electronic coma either.

I used to limit screens to one weekday evening and weekends, but as they get older I have become more relaxed. Rather than limit the screen time I focus on ensuring they spend enough time doing other things. They have to be doing homework, spending time outdoors and with friends, they have sports, music lessons, choir, theatre etc... If they have nothing scheduled I feel like they have been staring at the ipod too long then I tell them to call a friend, go for a bike ride, clean the house or I plan an outing.

She has too much now, so please for the sake of her well-being do not give her any more. An hour a week is more than enough. When she gets upset, well, oh well, that's her choice. Don't give in. She'll find something to do that is far more productive and enriching. Do something with her. She really would be better off with none before the age of 12 like any child.

Parents don't realize that they're playing with fire and on so many levels. It creates addiction in the long run, it deadens the imagination and without the imagination nothing can be accomplished. It fires of the synaps in the brain and rewires them, so to speak. This is just the gist of it. And the hand held are more damaging.

Parents that say they put no limits on it are really fooling themselves and their children will pay the price. Life, if not parents, puts a limit on everything. Would you let your kid eat ice cream with no limits or stay up till they drop. Of course there are limits. The damaging affects of tv have already been evidenced and yet people continue to let kids watch hours upon hours because it's convenient. Remember, it's all a giant experiment but at what cost. The only ones that is served in this madness of games and other electronics for kids are the corporations making and selling them.

Keep your child's truest interest at heart and do what you need to do. Not always easy, but no one said it would be, and it's always for the best, and you can live with yourself a lot easier. She looks to you for guidance even when she complains.

Sending warm regards to you and your daughter

I have a 4th grader - one and only - and I don't allow the iPad on weeknights. Then it's like a Friday through Sunday binge. So my husband and I are about to put a stop to it. Make her earn it and limit the time in general. I'm curious to read below to get some advice, too!

quit making it an only on the weekend thing.
She waits and waits for those couple of days! So, if you make it reasonable times during the week too it wont seem like such a treat.
My kids play their phones in the car for the most part. But sometimes in the house as well. As long as their chores are done, their homeowork is done, they are not at soccer...I don't really care if they are on their electronics.
We have not had any issues about time on phones. Maybe because we choose not to make it a "only at certain times or certain days" kind of issue.

Whatever is appropriate for your home and your child. I've told my child that if I tell her that in 10 minutes or at the end of that show on Netflix that she has to get off for a while and she yells at me, it takes a longer break. My stepson would play video games all day, but if his schoolwork suffered, it meant he lost the privilege. I get it - I play on FaceBook. It's addictive and fun. The one thing I might ease up on is computer use for schoolwork, though. If she needs practice typing, steer her toward computer games that work on that. I allow my DD to play her math apps more than I allow her to zone on Netflix. I also keep the charger so the ipad doesn't have charge unless I want it to.

The flip side is talking to her about who and what and why and showing her good responsibility yourself. I put down my phone and do the dishes because I need to show her what I tell her. I talk to my child about what we need to do and what we want to do. We NEED to do our chores (like feed the cat) before we watch TV. Then the TV/screen time is a reward for a job well done. Or at least done. It's also not too early to be talking to her about internet safety.

During the week my daughter can only play on her ipad after she has finished her homework and whatever chores she has to do. Since its nice out she likes to spend a lot of time outdoors with her friends. That leaves about a half and hour to an hour to play on her ipad. On the weekend she can play on it as much as she wants as long as what's she's viewing is appropriate.

ds is the only one i have to limit. as dd has no interest in that stuff for more than 30 minutes at a time
since he gets computer time at school he is only allowed about a half hour of computer while i am making dinner on a school night. on friday he gets an additional hour of game time with daddy and the ps4 sat and sun he gets about an hour sometimes 2 IF we are home which we usually are not. and IF its not nice enough to be outside. (our yard is the size of a football field and fully fenced in so we are out there a ton. plus we have dogs and chickens and a big garden that needs work all the time and i make the kids help)

My son is 10. Currently he gets 30 minutes a day of total screen time (tv or computer). Up until a few months ago he pretty much got 30-60 minutes a week but unfortunately his school and friends both do a ridiculous amount of computer games. I would much rather he be playing outside or reading. And there is plenty of evidence that screen time is damaging to kids - both health, behavior and academically. To pretend otherwise is just burying your head in the sand because it is so convenient to let them entertain themselves on the computer.

Ask your pediatrician.

Mine said no more then two hours per day.