Ok so my son is 17 months. Every time we try our own variation on CIO (it works for us, so don't lecture me on it, please), by the time he gets used to sleeping on his own, he get's sick or cuts teeth in a major way (last month he cut 4 molars in a week. That was not fun. And that is how it normally is, multiple teeth at one time). So during those times I dont make him fall asleep on his own since I (and other moms) feel that it's cruel to make them fall asleep when they want comfort. Seriously every time he is a night or two away from falling asleep on his own, something comes up, so then it's starting all over again. This last weekend he got a stomach bug and so he fell asleep while we rocked. Poor little guy :( So do you think I should keep starting over or just give up and wait till he at least gets all his teeth in?? My heart can't take his crying much more :(
**He is on a structured night schedule and has been since he was 3 months old. He just really loves his "maaama" and was one of the babies that ALWAYS had to be held when he was an infant. He doesn't always have to be held now, but sometimes just wants me and bedtime is one of those times. Trust me CIO is not the way I want him to get him to sleep, which is why I altered it to where we have it now. It works for us and It makes it so he usually doesn't cry for more that a half an hour. I just hate the constant stop and go of his sleep training.
Oh and I'm a working mom so I don't have the luxery of controlling his naps :(
**sorry one more edit- The only reason why I am sleep training is because I am still going to school and I work part time, and I need that time to study or do what ever I need to around the house. I only get maybe 4 hours to do all the things I need to do. I refuse to be one of the students that stays up super late. I don't function well on little sleep (like most people) and I feel it causes more problems than helping. For awhile there my son took forever! to fall asleep. I mean we are talking a good hour, and that was with me rocking him. But that was only for a week and of course it was my finals week. I'm sure he just felt my stress then. But either way, I need that time :(
My DD is only 11 months, and I gave up on CIO too. It's almost easier to just go to her when she wakes up. The sad thing is that we both get more sleep if I don't try to force her to stay asleep! So I figure I will wait until she gets out of the perpetual teething stage before trying again.
I think you've answered your own question. You say it works for you, but then describe how and why it doesn't work for you. Just do whatever works! Rocking, crying, co-sleeping, a combination of those... whatever you want to do. Personally, I found sleep training to be a big waste of my time, and a huge problem causer for myself and my son during the hours that we could and should have just been cuddled up sleeping soundly. Once I stopped trying to control the situation so much and just went with what worked for us in that moment, on that night, we both fell into an easy sleeping routine.
First of all CIO doesn't advocate to let a child who is suffering or needs attention, like teething, to be left on their own, so you are in fact doing CIO and haven't altered it that much...so that's good. I would suggest that yes you keep going. I feel it is worth it. There will always be something, as you already mentioned, so if you give in now it will only continue. Even when he gets all his teeth in, then he'll be ready for a big bed or then he'll get his 2 year molars or then something else will change...so stick with it. It truly is worth it. Once you can cuddle, hug, kiss and plop them in bed your whole life will change! You might almost feel like a normal person again! ;) It's hard and sleep training has it's challenges, but honestly, I feel the best thing is to keep at it.
I didn't do CIO but I did help my son get on a schedule to get him sleeping through the night when he was about 16 months old. My way was to wake him up early in the morning (instead of letting him sleep all morning after being awake most of the night) and then schedule his naps for long enough apart that he would be tired and ready to sleep. Then I didn't have to force/fight him to go down, I just laid him in the crib and he was ready to rest. I pushed bedtime back far enough so I was doing the opposite of CIO - keeping him awake when he wanted to sleep. Again, that way he went down without fuss to sleep at night when I finally put him down. Less than a week of a strict schedule like that and he was going to sleep on his own at the same time every night, and every day for naps. I was even able to make his bedtime earlier, to where I thought it should be (7pm opposed to 9pm) using the same method - waking him when I want and not letting him sleep no matter how tired he is, until I want him to.
I still have the same issue as you - when teething starts or a sickness hits, it disrupts our schedule. I let him sleep and wake as he pleases during those times since he doesn't feel good, but the DAY that that issue is for sure over, we are back on schedule. It may take a few days or a week to get him back into schedule, but it always works out in the end and I don't have to break my heart listening to him cry. It works great in our house.
Well I have sleep trained both my girls who are now 4 and 2. Honestly the whole CIO should only take a week to 2 weeks tops and he should have it down. Then yes if he gets sick or is cutting teeth you can comfort him but if he is already sleep trained then he really shouldn't cry anyways cause he should be used to falling asleep on his own and therefore it shouldn't scare him even if he is sick or in pain. And again if he is good and trained then rocking him for a night or two shouldn't mess things up. The sleep train book I used said it takes about 3 to 4 nights to start a new habit so only a night or 2 of rocking shouldn't matter. When either of my girls get sick I ways say to myself, "I'll put her to bed like normal but if she starts crying for me in need of comfort then I'll go in." But that never happens. They are usually just extra sleepy from being sick and still go to bed like normal. I guess I'm just saying this cause it sounds like you have never actually gotten him all the way sleep trained. I know you said you do a variation of it that works for you but if he is still crying every night when you put him down I wonder if it's just not the right thing for him. So how do you put him down every night? And what are his reactions? There might need to be some changes made in order to get him falling asleep on him own.
