Is It Wrong to Ask Visitors to Remove Their Shoes?

I don't think you are wrong, you have every right to ask them to take off there shoes. I have tried to do the same, and i am successful with family, but I always feel bad about it when asking friends. If you come up with a way to ask and not make them feel bad, let me know.

good luck.

Hi F.
My 10 year old was very sick with asthma when he was 1-5. I went to a specialist and she said a wonderful easy trick is to take their (all of the people entering the home) shoes at the door. I let the people put them in my kitchen at the door so they are not cold when they leave. Another thing it too wash with damp paper towel face and then "drag it" through hair. Both of these remove a lot of pollen etc.
So you can just say something about not bringing it the outside elements. Go for it!
Best,
M.

I have a sign on my door that asks people to remove shoes and boots when they come in.
I have very few problems with people doing this. We keep a carpet near the door for the shoes to go on.
I wish I had room for a chair or bench too so they could sit down, but I don't.
This is also a rule in my in-law's home and my sister's home.... pretty much everyone's house that we go to.

A sign on the door helps a lot.

You have every right to ask everyone who enters your house to take off their shoes. I put a sign on my front door that reads "remove your shoes upon entering". The people who like to wear shoes inside bring slippers or house shoes.
I have never had anyone make it an issue.

Not wrong at all! I have the same policy, although I do admit that if I'm having a special party at the house I may let it slide if the weather's dry outside. If you can find a cute sign (or make one), put it on the front door or nearby. If someone is just stopping in for a few minutes and they stay in the entryway, that's fine. But if the Mom is not getting the hint, just keep repeating yourself until she does. You can always say, "I know I keep mentioning this, but I'm really trying to make an effort to keep the carpet clean. Plus I don't want the kids to forget my rule, so if you wouldn't mind, could you please take your shoes off when you come in?" She should get it soon enough. Also, if you have a basket, tray, rug or whatever for the shoes just inside the door (which I'm sure you do) that should help give people the hint too.

when we built our house i made a sign out of wood ( i do alot of sign big or small..)so it look nicer..and hung outside of the house by the entry door stating to remove the shoes upon entering..and then had a rug runner from the local carpet store make me a wider runner...4ft wide by 10ft long to have when you first come into the house so that there was plenty of room for people to step in and be able to remove the shoes plus keep them out of the way for others who come in after them..you can have a straight forward sign done...(please remove your shoes)...or a whimsical one (it is one of those to-does to please remove your shoes...depending of your enty door you can hang the sign on the door or at eye level just to the side of the door opening...if door opens on the left put the sign on the left if it opens on the right put the sign on the right..depending on where you live...if you choose the sign i may be able to help you out...depending on the size and where you live for the mailing..let me know..good luck

OMG no it is not wrong to ask your visitors to remove their shoes...I do it all the time and we have been here 9 years!!! It's your house and your carpet, it does not matter if she is only going to be there for 10-15 minutes to pick her child up...at a Day Care, she would need to do the same thing...at my son's day care, they are very strict about that especially in the younger childrens rooms.

There is nothing wrong with asking people to take their shoes off in your house no matter how long they are going to be staying. If this is important to you then it should be important to anyone coming into your house. Don't be ashamed or afraid of what kinds of reaction someone is going to have. It may be strange to them but it is your rule. If this is important to you then you MUST make certain to gently remind your visitors to remove their shoes. I hope this helps.

Hi F.!

You are absolutely not being extreme...as someone below me has states. I agree with you 100%. I actually lived in Russia for 11 years and the first thing anyone does there when they enter a home is take off their shoes. No one would even think of walking in a home with outside shoes on. When I first came back to the states and saw people walking on CARPET with OUTSIDE SHOES I cannot tell you the disgust I felt...even though I grew up the same way. I just kept htinking of what we must walk in everyday and then carry into our homes on our shoes. And now with my children playing on the carpet, laying down, face into the floor sometimes :) I absolutely also ask people to remove their shoes. It is uncomfortable that this woman is just ignoring your request...with my character I would also be apprehensive to ask her AGAIN to remove her shoes, but you probably need to. Or maybe you can just bring the child to her and say something like, let me get him for you so you don't have to take your shoes off...something like that.
Good luck. :)

you should keep shower caps/plastic bags near the door for people to put on over their shoes if they are unwilling to remove them.

We take our shoes off at our house and most people that come do too. Maybe she figures she will be in and out and it will take longer to take them off and put them back on than she will actually be in the house. Plus putting the shoes back on with an armfull of her child and belongings from the day might be a hinderance...what if you offered to go and get her child for her she could wait by the door...

You have to decide which is most important to you- your friends or a perfect house. I personnally am offended when people ask me over and then request that I take my shoes off.I feel that a house that is always perfect is not a HOME- it is a showplace.

your house your rules..........everyone should abide

F.,

I don't think that it is wrong to ask visitors to take off their shoes when entering your house. That is your house. You have small children. You don't want whatever gunk and stuff to be tracked onto your floor that is on the bottom of their shoes. I have people take off their shoes when coming into my home. Except for for repair men. But as soon as they leave, I begin the mopping process. I have a friend that has a sign on the front of her door that says "Please take off shoes upon entering the house" If they respect your house and wishes, then they will take off their shoes.

Hi! I think you should ABSOLUTELY ask people to take off there shoes!! Shoes are the filthiest things!! We just built a new house We aer moving in in 2 weeks) and I completely agree with the rule! If this woman cannot "remember" (how can she not?) you can either go get the child or ask her again. The sign idea I thought was great!! Growing up we were forbidden to wear shoes in the house. Because we were so used to the rules I took off my shoes at everyone else's house too!! (unfortunately not everyone is as clean as us!!) Good luck!!! Stick to your rules!!!! Do not let her make you feel bad!!

F.,

You simply need to meet her at the door, have her remove her shoes (don't remind her). If she is uncomfortable, have her bring a pair of slippers (or if you are getting paid and really want this to happen, pick up an inexpensive pair!)

You want your carpets clean for the children, their health. It is her child too - whether she does this at home or not does not matter. Simply continue to meet her at the door and have her do it - don't remind her, simply wait until she does it.

No, it is not wrong to ask visitors to remove their shoes. It isn't something actively practiced in this culture, but in other cultures (strangely enough, ones without diapers but that's another story!) actively do this. Japanese. Indian. Several others.

Don't just stick up for yourself, stick up for your child. Don't be afraid of her - she is a person just like you. No better. No worse.

Good Luck!
M.

There is no right or wrong about this...it's your house, your rule for what ever reason and everyone who comes into the house should respect the rules.

But you can't expect people to remember the rule each time they show up at your home....so remind people. With this women who seems to be ignoring your rule, be more direct in a very pleasant way. "Hi, glad to see you...If you are coming into the house, please take your shoes off." Wait at the door for her to do so...and if you have to, repeat the statement..."Sorry, maybe you didn't hear me, if you are staying please take your shoes off"..... and when she does, thank her for doing so. If she turns and walks out, thank her for that too. If she gets nasty about it or says I'm not staying long...Tell her, "sorry but the rule is for everyone so I guess you don't want to come in."

I have the same rule in my house...in fact I keep a huge basket by both doors filled with slippers in all colors, sizes and styles. In general everyone who comes to my house has their favorite. The front door is off the deck and the back door is off the driveway and that's the door most used.
The only one who gives me a hard time about the rule is my plumber. I would replace him but I do like him and trust his work and fighting with him over taking off his shoes got me no where so now when I have an appointment with him to come to the house, I roll out a plastic runner (((which I got in yards))) from the door to the kitchen sink and from there into the bathroom and basement door...he laughs at it, teases me about it but he's careful about staying on it.

Hi F.~

Perhaps this woman is forgetful, so remind her. If she continues to "forget", then by all means, ask her to wait by the door until you return with her child. Offer her a seat so she'll be comfortable while she waits. I say, ask her once, remind her a second time, then, by all means tell her point blank "We do not permit shoes in the home. If you insist on keeping yours on, please wait by the door while I get your child." If she's still uncomfortable, she can take her business elsewhere. I'm sure the next person may not be as nice as you seem to be. Believe me, I had 4 in home sitters, and each one was a nightmare.

Good luck to you in getting her to understand and abide by your wishes.

~J.

No, it is not inappropriate at all to ask visitors to remove their shoes. Especially with young children crawling and playing aorund on the floor. In fact, in some cultures this is standard. You can leave a shoe basket at the front door as a friendly reminder. GL!

I wouldn't have a problem asking someone to take their shoes off at the door. That's just me.
Now if this parent is dropping the kids off, why not meet them at the entry door. When I drop my girls off, I stand right there at the door. If this isn't possible, then maybe invest in a few runner style rugs to place in the location(s) parents might walk to.
Good Luck

Felecia,

I completely understand your request and it is more common than you think. when I visit someone's home for the first time I find myself asking if I should take my shoes off. Another alternative would be to get the disposable booties that can go over the shoes. Similar to what surgeons/nurses wear in the operating room. For people who are coming in for 5 - 10 minutes.

Your request is TOTALLY reasonable - it's your carpets! We have the same rule...and when someone forgets, it's always on a nasty rainy, muddy day.

I'd suggest putting a basket near the door, or some visible reminder that shoes should be removed. Make sure there's a bench or a chair there, too, so they can get their shoes back ON easily.

A little sign can help, too. I've seen lots of cute ones from Hawaii that say something like. "Please remove your shoes - Mahalo!"

Good luck, Mama. It's hard when your visitors are only staying for a few minutes, but stand your ground - it's not fair that their three minute visit should give you 15 minutes of work!

I have two points here:

1. First, I never had the no-shoe rule until I had a kid, and read about studies like these:
http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/1999/04/990427045111...

So I respectfully disagree with the commenters who say houses are meant to be lived in so shoes can stay on. This is a health issue. However, I find it very difficult to ask anyone who is not a family member to take off their shoes. I grew up in a town with a lot of Asian people, and always took off my shoes out of respect for their house rules, but it's difficult for me to say it myself to guests, though I appreciate the suggestions here.

2. This may seem off topic, but it relates. I have read and heard about 8 stories lately of parents who like their kids' caregiver, except that there are major food issues, specifically, that the care giver is giving the kid unhealthy food and encouraging bad eating habits. These parents have either not had the conversation, because they don't know how and fear insulting the caregiver, as food is soooo personal, or they've had the conversation, but it hasn't seemed to change anything. This makes me so happy that our nanny is great on this issue and we can totally trust her.

We drop our kid off at her place, much like your situation, so we'd have more of a reason to worry that the food situation is out of our control, and yet, we feel secure. So this is just an out of the blue suggestion, but maybe you should have a talk with this mom about the important stuff like food and maybe discipline, explicitly stating that you want to be consistent with what she does at home, because you want to respect her rules for raising her child. By showing her you respect the decisions she has made, perhaps she'll be more likely to respect the decisions you have made.

It's your house, you can do what you like. When we got our floors redone (brand new) we have the no shoe rule, and all of our guests know that. Some even bring slippers to our house. fine by us. If you live in a cole area...Wisconsin, Minnesota for example, they don't wear shoes in homes because of the weather situation. So, again, it's your house and do what you want. Your friends should understand...and if they don't, are they then really your friends.

We are also a shoe free house, and the trick I found is to tell people at the door way. After a few disappointments, I started asking people as I opened the door: "hi, do you mind taking your shoes off please, I have a little child who crawls around!". Most people just did it, there were a couple that said "really?, you want me to take muy shoes off?" and I had to tell them yes. We recently sold our house, and even during the showings I requested that people take off their shoes. I also purchased a steam vac to wash the rugs once every couple of months. I found that even shoe free carpets get dirty. Stick to it, I hate all that dirt in the rugs.

I always wished I had made that a policy but didn't. Maybe one way to deal with it is to just have slippers that people can wear at the door (I saw that on the Martha Stewart show!) or for quick visits have those pull on shoe covers like they have in the hospital (maybe you can get them at a medical supply store?) Not sure if this will help. Good luck!

F.,

Your question seems to have stuck a chord in a lot of people, myself included. I think it is completely disgusting when people enter a house with shoes on. You walk around on spit, animal feces, garbage, and all kinds of chemicals people use to fertilize lawns or melt ice. Even without a child crawling around I didn't allow shoes in my house. Most people give me strange looks when I politely ask them to remove their shoes, but they do it and I could care less if they think I am a clean freak. I believe it is more of a health issue.

I wish our culture would embrace the idea that shoes are for outside. All of the responses from mothers have agreed with us, so maybe we are in the majority. There's hope!

Tell this woman directly that shoes are not allowed in your home. She can take them off and come in or she can wait by the door.

Good luck,
R.

No it's not wrong at all. You need to be direct with her - just say next time that she needs to take her shoes off. She really has no right or reason to refuse.

I agree with what most have said. It is your right to ask your guests to remove there shoes when entering your house and it is mannerly for them to abide by your rules in your house. Why you decided to employ those rules is none of their concern. As a good hostess making it easy for your guests to remember and follow your rules is important though. I would suggest having a small stool and guest slippers at your entryway reinforce the idea that "outside are not for inside the house." Having a place to put any bags would make the process even more guest friendly.

In many places in the world it's actually considered very rude to wear outside shoes into someone else's house without being given a "go ahead." Heck, I'm in Japan right now and it's not unusual for businesses, hospitals or other public places to require that you remove your shoes at the door. I even know people that change their shoes every time they get in/out of their car :D And if you walked into someone's house with your shoes on, they would be very offended!

But back to the point, even if the person is only going to be in your house for a few minutes, it's still perfectly fine to expect them to either remove their shoes or request that you meet them at the door/entryway/shoe-safe zone for those few minutes.

hi,
we have a no shoes rule in my house too. although it can be a bit awkward at times, i always ask visitors to take their shoes off before coming into our living space. you need to speak up, it's your house, ask the mom to take off her shoes. tell her you do it to keep the house extra clean for her kids.

No, it is not wrong to request visitors to take their shoes off. If they think you are rude, it is because they are rude and unclean too. I tell people I have babies that crawl around on my carpet and I don't know where your shoes have been, take them off!!! She is being rude, probably jealous of your new house. Have her stay at the door. I had someone I babysat for who was the same way. I would have everything ready for her by the door or the kids would be outside playing when she came to get them. I never feel comfortable walking in someone's house with my shoes on even a dirty one. I think it is plain out disrespectful.

YOUR HOUSE YOUR RULES!!! I would simply say "please take off your shoes." when any person arrives at the door. No further explination is needed and then if they have a problem with it tell them that with 2 small children always on the floor ou are trying to keep the "ick and yuck" to a minimum. If it is your husbands family ask him to be the one to "remind" people at the door. A.

I agree with Abby I think when people are paying for a service it gives them a sense of entitlement. I would simply say when she comes in "Don't worry about taking your shoes off I will get the baby for you etc." This way you are clear that you WANT HER to take off her shoes but it is not necessary to walk through the house. As Abby said she is not a visitor, and her purpose there is completely different. She may also feel it is such a short time that it is not necessary. Good luck!!!

You are completely reasonable. We have a shoe free home also, to protect the hardwood floors and area rugs. I have had friends that have put signs on the front door saying, "dear friends, please take your shoes off as you enter" and other friends who had a sign next to their shoes saying, "please leave your shoes here". I just tell people nicely they can leave their shoes in the entry way or next to ours just inside the house.

We can drag in all sorts chemicals (road de-icers in the winter, herbicides and fertilizer in the spring/summer/fall) in that are poisonous to our pets and our children. I would tell her that you do your best to provide a clean, safe environment for her child and which would she prefer: removing her shoes or you meeting her at the door with her child? Giving her a choice seems reasonable to me. And an explanation with a choice is less likely to upset her.

I am shocked that anyone would question your request. I find that anyone who does not remove their shoes before entering a home is rude, no one know what they have stepped in. I have a big glass sign on my entry door NO SHOES PLEASE. if she does not respond to your requests get plastic runners and charge her for them and lye them down where she normally walks. Place a baby gate between the entry and the living space. Obviously she is inconvenienced easily maybe she will get the hint, but I would not hesitate to tell her but yet again.

Good luck.

Hi,
Obviously you need to be more direct!! :)
Do stop her and offer her a pair of cozy slippers (that's what I do). :)

It is your house and I often say that I can't keep up with the vacuuming/mopping of the floors and would like for them to help by taking off their shoes...

I absolutely believe you're in the right and that it's okay to ask visitors to take off their shoes. Now, b/c of your relationship with her, I understand why you're hesitant.

Maybe you could add a piece of furniture to store shoes by the front door - something simple that says 'shoes belong here.' Or maybe buy a cheap pair of oversized slippers to leave by the entryway you could quickly point out to her. Something that might serve as a reminder. Hey, maybe you can over-dramatize taking off your own shoes when she comes over. If she refuses to get the hint then I think you should say something - just be sweet about it.

Some of my friends do it and they usually preface it with "I know I might sound nerotic but can you please leave your shoes by the door." Of course I know the rules so I always wear decent socks! lol

It is not WRONG by any means to ask a visitor to remove their shoes in your home. Like any other request in life, it is how you ask that counts. Most people will understand and galdly honor this request with no questions asked and if they ask just explain the reasons. I used this practice for many years when my children were young babies crawling around and we had nice light carpets we wanted to preserve. If you keep a shoe shelf by the door it is an automatic indicator you use this practice of taking off shoes in the home and might therefore not NEED to ask. I have been to many homes where people take their shoes off and I personally do not find it offensive.

Suggestions; put up a friendly, visable sign (can frame it, etc.) thae reminds people. You might even find one ready made with some humor interjected.

Make sure there is a comfortable bench/chair that people can sit and un-do/re-do their shoes, and of course matting to hold the shoes. You might even be a gracious enough host to have a pair of slippers or two standing by that people can be encouraged to use.

You may also try laying down cheap carpet in a path to the main area people need to do a quick walk through in. This will further delineate shoe and non-shoe spaces, plus be easy for you to throw in the wash or trash as need be. Also, if it's a childcare situation, you could look into a safety gate or other way to clearly mark out space that babes will be crawling around in and should be respected as far as cleanliness.

And, always try to be helpful (take baby or bags out of guests hands) and ALWAYS be gracious. It's a good thing to care about your house and cleanliness, but you never want to come across pretentious or condensending. This will serve you worse in the long run then just dealing with the extra effort to keep the place clean. Be gracious and use humor and practicals, you'll get it under control. Good luck, N.

I always request that shoes be removed! I can't stand dirty floors! I know it might look tacky, but put up a sign on the door as a reminder, or just have another chat with her. In my opinion it's just courteous to remove shoes before entering any home. (it's how I was raised anyway!) Good luck!
Lynsey

Its your home and the mother is being rude IMHO. Since she is there to pick up her child, keep her at the door while you get the child. If she insists on coming in tell her to remove her shoes first. Think of her as unwilling jumper. What would your sarge have done?

I think it's your house and you can ask people to take off their shoes if you want to. Visitors should respect your decisions. You're the one paying the mortgage! I think yours is a reasonable request. In fact, I was thinking of doing the same because my daughter is crawling all over the floors and I don't want dirt, salt, and everything else on the floor that she's on.

I grew up with the taking off my shoes in the house. And I ask anyone who comes over to do so. I just politely tell them that I have children that are always rolling around on the floors. Everyone seems to understand and if they don't well that's too bad. My son that's now 3 tells my mother-in-law,"you forgot to take off your shoes, no shoes in the house!" I hate to make my son do my dirty work but she listens to him. It's kinda funny.

It's not wrong, but as another mom said, they may be embarassed to take off their shoes for one reason or another. I think her shower cap idea was a great one. Some people might think that's a little excessive but it is your house, you have to pay the cleaning bill.
I hate taking off my shoes when I go pick up my kids at my inlaw's house cause I'm usually wearing sneakers that I have to unlace and re-lace, but she keeps a clean house so I like to be courteous. It would be awesome if there was something I could just slip into to collect the kids and their belongings and get out of there.

Absolutely not wrong! Have a sign that's very visible at the front door: "please remove shoes here!".

Carpets are filthy things and the last thing you need is to have things like lead, pesticides, gasoline exhaust residue, etc in your home where the babies are playing! Children eat things from the floor, like it or not, it's reality.

It's downright rude to wear shoes in someone else's house. In China the people have slippers in varying sizes at the door so the shoes are taken off and a loaner pair of slippers is there.

I don't know if they're world-wide but there's a company called Citrus-O that does a great job cleaning carpets with natural cleaner and it will also remove old shampoo and other toxins from the carpet.

I hear you on that....and NO I do not think it is wrong for you to tell someone to take their shoes off...I actually have a sign in my kitchen that says.....Life is made of choices take your shoes off or clean the floors........This is your home and your rules

The bottom line is YOUR HOUSE-YOUR RULES. Since she is only picking up her child, meet her at the door and tell her you don't allow shoes in the house. If she takes off her shoes she is welcome to come in but if she refuses to abide by your requirements then she has to wait at the door for her child.

I would also put back packs and jackets/snowsuits at the door so she can dress her child there as well. That reiterates the firmness of your rules. If you don't stand firm, the parent's actions will tell their child that they don't have to follow your rules either. I've had that first hand in my home. That's when I started enforcing the matter with the parent and pointed out that they are setting a poor example for their children about following directions and obeying rules. Yes, it made them mad, but once I pointed out how they would feel if I came over and never shut the door or left water all over the bathroom sink or left lights on in an empty room, they understood. It's for the best for their child and it isn't harming anyone. If it's too much inconvenience, then have her wait and bring the child to her at the entry. I've had parents who mid winter didn't take off their boots because it was too much work so I brought the kid to them. No big issue.

Unfortunately, sometimes we have to teach parents how to behave in other peoples homes, too! I wish you the very best.

I do not believe that you are wrong to ask visitors to remove their shoes. I ran a daycare for 8 years and from the begining it was expected that the parents would take their shoes off before entering my home. You may need to be a bit more clear with this woman to get her to show you some respect. Perhaps you could put a rug near the door for now and ask that she leave her shoes on it. If that does not work, you could print up some information about the germs that are found on shoes and maybe let her know that your wishes are not just because of the new carpet, but for the health of her children and yours as well. Best of luck. M.

I completely agree with you. This has been the rule in my house, since being married 41 years ago...with 3 children...and now my granddchildren automatically know to remove their shoes too, as is also the rule in their home. It's how you're brought up. Shoes outside the house, and house-shoes (bed-slippers) inside the house. This is the respectful norm in many cultures. The bottom line is that it is YOUR HOUSE...YOUR RULES. Don't be afraid of upsetting this woman, as she is not afraid to upset you! You are not unreasonable even for 10-15 minutes.

Hi F.,

You are completely within your rights to ask people to remove their shoes. However, know that this is a very uncomfortable thing for some people...revealing their feet, untying shoes just to rety again in a minute...lots of people have reasons why they won't want to do it. So, understanding that will at least give you perspective and a friendly way of asking. I personally hate taking off my shoes because I have nerve damage and being barefoot simply hurts, but if I knew I was going somewhere that shoes had to be off, I would take slippers or something. It would definitely be a pain for the mom who is just picking up her kids. Maybe you could meet her with them in the foyer or something to avoid problems? You can also make a nice little sign to put at the front door that kindly reminds people to take shoes off.

I once visited a friend and her husband barked at me "take off your shoes". I was pretty offended, not by the request, but by the attitude that came with it. They have since gotten these huge capital letters and plastered on their front door "SHOES OFF!" It gets the point across, but it's like being yelled at too.

Ok, so I've rambled on, now you have my opinion.

D.
36 year old mother of 5 with one more on the way

Ours is a shoe-free house as well, but I try not to make it an iron rule. Most guest see the shoes, my feet in houseshoes, and ask of their own accord if they should remove their shoes.
Perhaps this mother is worried about foot odor, has a hole in her sock she is embarassed about, or simply thinks the rule is silly. You should mention it kindly and can base it on the kids: since they play on the floor here, I would like to keep the floors as clean as possible. You could invest in some very simple househshoes for people to slip on so they don't have to be barefoot in your home.

It is not unreasonable to ask but realize that some people are uncomfortable with removing their shoes. I would just suggest asking yourself which is more important, the rug or the people in your life. The rug will get dirty sooner or later no matter how hard you try but you might drive people away while being controlling. I ask my family to remove shoes but I never push that on my guests. Hope that helps.

Wow. You got alot of responses. I didn't get through all of them but I did glance over about half and didn't notice my thoughts so I'll share them. Simply tell her, very nicely, you have enacted this rule for both your children. If it's your job to watch her daughter then it's your priority to provide her with a safe, clean environment. Then add that you'd be happy to bring her daughter to the door if she's wearing shoes that cannot be easily removed. You could even suggest she call you when she's a few minutes away on these days so you can have her daughter ready to go when she arrives.

Good luck! I have this rule too and, like some others, find it hard to enforce for those who visit occassionally. But this woman, more than anyone else, should understand (and appreciate) your desire to keep your floors clean.

A couple things, I agree with Abby, your business with this woman is business which makes the issue different. It's a great idea to offer to go get the child for her.
I understand it's your house and you want to keep it clean.
Please understand that there are some people out there that may be uncomfortable doing this though, especially if they are in your house for only a few minutes. I have horrible heel spurs that are painful unless I have my orthodics in, which usually fall out of slippers, so I have a difficult time doing this. I have one sister who has all the kids take their shoes off, but understands that my other sister and I don't because of our foot problems. One of my dtrs has a hard time with it though because she has sweaty and smelly feet, no matter how often she washes them.
So, I agree that it is your house, your rules, but understand some people may have some very personal reasons why they are uncomfortable abiding by your rule. There may be some people who forgot or are just thoughtless, but others may have a genuine problem that is difficult to discuss.

it's your house, you set the rules. don't apologize when you ask her or anyone else although it may be hard. just simply say, can you please remove your shoes? when she does say thank you..no excuses, no reasons. if she's in your house, she has to follow your rules. it's not that hard. and son't feel bad about it. unless it's someone who has to wear their shoes for medical reasons or if they are elderly and may fall or slip w/o them on, it should not be a problem.

I think what may be confusing about this issue is the business nature of your relationship with this mother. I assume she is paying you for the babysitting? If so, that introduces a new element into the situation that is not entirely social, nor is it, necessarily, based on friendship. If this is a fee arrangement then you are trying to apply social rules in a business situation which happens to be in your own home, then you have to realize that other people may view the situation differently than you do. Her expectations may be different if she is paying for your services. Many people request that people leave their shoes at the door before entering the house, and most people are not opposed to that idea, however, usually they have a choice because they have accepted the invitation to be there. It this case, the mother has not been "invited," she is there to retrieve her child. Easiest solution? Don't make this about you or whether or not she respects your rules/wishes. If this is a business transaction, and it is possible, have the child ready and available when the mother arrives, coat and things by the door so there is no need for the mother to enter. This may not be practical because of varying arrival times. You could ask her to wait while you get the child ready, or, in a worse case scenario, have a runner down for her to walk on, tho' that hardly sounds practical. For some people, it is inconvenient to take their shoes off to run in and out of a house, or they feel it is inconvenient/uncomfortable/intrusive. We don't all agree. You are always well within your rights to determine what is acceptable in your own home and to ask people to respect that, but you may need to provide accommodations for others if you want your rules to be observed and good relations to be preserved.

Hi F.,
I know several people who request no shoes in the house. You might put out some sort of mat or bench with a sign that shoes belong there. Perhaps just meet the mom by the front door and dont have her come all the way in, or put down a runner.
I have to be honest - if she is on the way to work, she may not have extra time after getting herself ready and getting her son ready to take the shoes off and put them on again, unless they're slip on pumps, clogs - then there's no excuse.

If they stay for 1hr or 1 min...make them take it off or they go no further into your house...they will respect it...be a stranger or a friend...

Shoes are filthy. It's not wrong at all. When you have little ones on the floor all the time especially. I lived in Hawaii for a couple of years and there its customary to take your shoes off before you go into someones home. I loved it. People just aren't used to the idea in our culture unfortunately. We have a 13 month old and we don't allow shoes either. People are fine with it. Don't be afraid to remind people. Its your home, your floors you have to clean.

I would suggest either:
A note on the door saying that all guests must either remove their shoes or put on disposable booties.

Disposable booties are great. I'm a real estate agent, and use these at Open Houses.

You can get them at surgical supply stores.

~J.

You're absolutely not wrong to ask! Especially with 2 little ones playing on the floors. It's your home and it's astonishing what gets dragged in on the botton of shoes. I would be sure to make it easy for guests to follow your request. So - a bench or chair to sit on - an obvious rug or space to put their shoes, etc. Good luck! And don't feel guilty for keeping your home just the way you like it!

Hi F.,

I believe it is totally right to ask all guests to remove their shoes if that's your rule. If the guest is resistant you can offer to bring the children to the door when they arrive. This will give the guest the option of removing their shoes or refraining from stepping into your home without removing their shoes.