I just spent an entire weekend with a total of 8 strong women. We are all between a size 2 and a size 22. We had a 3 day bachelorette party and most of us had either never met before and had met briefly once. We all went to a club at midnight (I'm a working, homeschooling mom of 3 - so I'm usually in bed by 10pm) and closed it down. 21 year old guys were grinding on us. We had bright pink wigs and laughed our butts off. They were ALL over us. One guy asked my name and I replied, "Married." He backed up and looked scared. I then proceeded to tell him that we all were and most of us have kids. Nobody believed we were aged 35 to 48. Sexuality or the ability to turn the opposite sex on, is NOT about a college degree (even though I have 3 of them). It IS about feeling good about who you are.
I've gained a quite a bit of weight after having children. I'm extremely active, but I'm not the size 10 I was when I met my husband, who literally has only 20 pounds of body fat on him. He finds me completely sexy. I don't show my body off with trashy clothing, no fake boobs, no fake nails - nothing - barely even any make-up. I dated constantly in high school and college. I was never short on interested men.
Here's what sage advice I can give you. Find something that makes you feel like a woman and go do it. Push yourself to the limit and see where it can take you. I had never been to a bachelorette party before. I was nervous. I could have bowed out, but instead, I took a breath and went along. I almost stayed in the car and slept, since I was the designated driver....but I went. I danced. I laughed. I flirted.(I think the wig helped.) We got in at 3am. I sent a pic on my phone to my husband of me at the club with this pink wig. I can tell you, when he got the picture the next am (since he was home with our 3 kids) he was like, "Oooooooo. SO hot." When I arrived home, he said, "I am so proud of you for going. I know this is not normally something you would do, but I'm glad you did." We proceeded to have amazing sex last night. I know, TMI.
Try things you normally might not....even if it's scary. Pole-dancing classes. Buy a box of toys online or in a store that you might find intriguing - even if you find you don't like it - you tried it. Wear sexy lingerie to bed once in a while. Get someone to take the kids overnight. Get rid of grandma bras and underwear and start wearing matching colored thongs and bras....so when he sees you getting ready in the morning, he'll know all day what underwear you are wearing. (Mine are super comfy and I get the undies cheap at Kohl's.) Surprise him by locking the door in the bedrom while the kids are playing and give him some pleasure and then get up and walk away. Do things out of the ordinary....meaning, take him off guard. Guys love that. Trust me. They want someone who keeps them on their toes....and it's not ALL about sex, but trust me, most of it is.
You don't have to have a degree or an education to be sexy. I think doing things, or rather accomplishing things (whatever they may be) give you confidence. Maybe start taking a night class and start working toward your degree, if that's something you want for yourself. Men find that sexy as well.
For me, I birthed 3 babies at home, unassisted, and I felt like I could hike Mt. Everest with the best of them. It's about accomplishing something for yourself. Raising your children is an accomplishment as well, but for some woman, the accomplishment needs to be self-satisfying. For example, I love my kids, but I don't get a huge feeling of accomplishment from the day to day interactions with them. I need a little "me" time to really do things that make me feel like I am authentically living....and in turn, a turn on to my husband.
Don't let you ex still control your life. Do things that make you feel alive. Your husband will notice.