Is Moving a Good Idea

That kind of commute is going to drain your husband down. It is far to long. We tried this once and we lasted 9 months we couldn't take it anymore. my husband never saw our oldest and with me being close to having our second we new it was going to be bad for the family so we moved closer and it was the best thing every...a lot less stress. You have to ask youself is the big, new house worth never seeing your husband. We were not living far away because we wanted a big house it is just what happened at the time but I could never see moving farther away just to have a new bigger home. Also the more time on the road means the more chances of getting into an accident. Especially if he has to drive 1.5 hours after a long day at work. And odds are during the winter time part or all of that drive will be in the dark.

But the best thing you can do is write down the pro's and con's and see what you come up with.

I commute 1 1/2 - 2 hours each way, each day. It is draining, and you do lose family time. Also, the company may have an issue with their car being put through that much wear. I have a friend who lives 2 hours away from his office and drives a company car. When he lived close, he could drive it home each night, but now he has to drive to the branch office closest to his house, about and hour from his house, but it isnt where his office is, park his car, pick up the company car for the day, and then go back to the branch office on the way home.

If you really love family time, I would try to keept he commute to 45m or less.
M.

When I was laid off last year, I lost a flexible schedule that allowed me to take my kids to school and pick them up. Even though I was travelling up to 200 miles/day, I could leave my territory at 3:00 to be home by 5pm and would work up to 2 hours/night. I was so anxious to get back to the 8-5 schedule. I didn't take into consideration the 30 minute commute each direction, traffic, and strict 8-5 guidelines for my new company.

Personally, I'd keep searching. 90 minutes is a LONG time each day at best. It will be expensive because of rising gas prices as well as how do you address an emergency when it arises?

Personally, the family time is more valuable to me.
Living in Indiana is a little less expensive, but my whole family lives in the DC area which is just as congested and as expensive as where you're located. That's part of why we live here.

When we decided on a new house a few years ago, the school system wasn't as acclaimed though it's improving. At the end of the day, we decided it's our job as parents to spend the time at home reinforcing what the school is teaching.

If I were in your shoes, I'd wait for now - but, my life circumstances are different. So, I wish you the best in making your decision.

Anything greater than 45 minutes is considered a stressful commute, obviously each person is different, but that number is a good rule of thumb. An hour and a half is a VERY stressful commute if you are driving. The people I know who moved to PA and were OK handling long commutes had flexible work schedules. They could get up VERY early and do the commute ahead of everyone (leave at 5 - 5:30 am) and then they could leave to go home around 3:30. In bed by 9:30 and start all over again. The other option is to shift it all later, not leave for work until 9:30 am and come home very late, but then you will definitely have an absentee husband. The other thing to look at are the taxes. While NJ is notorious for being a high tax state, not ALL municipalities are that high, and while most people assume their taxes will go down when they move to PA, for some people, they go up (I don't know if this is because they bought a much bigger house than they had here). Hope this helps. While anyone can handle a long commute for a short period of time, I think if your husband really likes and plans on staying at his current work, 90+ minutes is way too long.

The longer the commute, the more you are at the mercy of the price of fuel. I knew a lot of people who were having serious difficulties when gas was over $4 a gallon. If I were in your situation, I'd stay put for now.

I would start by making a list of the pros and cons. You may have a bigger/nicer home, but will it be worth it (loosing a good school district, loosing family time, $$ for his longer work drive). Your children will remember great family time no matter where they live :)

Hi Erin,
Looks like we're neighbors I'm from Parlin very close to Perth Amboy. Anyway it all depends on what's more important to you. If a bigger house is more important than certainly you should move to PA but if it's more important to spend more time with the hubby and have him do a lesser commute than you should keep looking around here. I know of some great homes in our area that are pretty affordable nowadays. I'm not sure where you've looked but I do know people in both the realistate and mortgage bussiness that could probably give you more advice so if you want their conatact info just let me know. We moved here about 5 yrs ago and back then I remember thinking the same thing about PA lol. Gosh the houses were so nice and so much more affordable but in the end we stayed here and I'm happy with our decision. I love our neigborhood! Good luck whatever you decide!

I've been in your shoes. The best time to move is before you get pregnant with #2 or before your oldest child starts kindergarden. Before this, the school district (and the higher prices that go with it), is not a big thing.

These are the pros and cons of moving while pregnant, places to look near NYC, who to use as your mover, and what to do if your husband ends up with a long commute.

WHY IT MAY NOT BE A GOOD IDEA TO MOVE

You'll really need your husbands help when you are pregnant, as #2 is a lot harder than the first pregnancy as you will be looking after your child. You ae more likely to feel morning sickness, and fatigue will likely be worse, as you may not be able to rest as much during the day. Expect housework, ability to cook etc. to go down the drain if you aren't feeling well or can't go near a kitchen.

If your husband is working close-by he can help you when he comes home with either taking care of your child or helping around the house. He'll also (hopefully) be able to help you with at least one night feeding with baby #2. But not if he has three hours of commuting a day.

More importantly though, as your due date approaches you need your husband nearby in case you go in labor. You can't drive yourself to the hospital and there's no way you'll be able to look after your child. With #2, you will not have the luxury of time first-time moms do - labor usually lasts half as long and it becomes more important to be able to get to the hospital quickly.

IF YOU NEED TO MOVE, NO MATTER WHERE

Hire a good mover. I am very pregnant with a toddler and had "Arthur Werner" handle my move. They were fabulous from start to finish and are one of the few licensed to handle both local and interstate moves in the tri-state area (NJ, CT and NY). I would hire them again in a heartbeat. http://www.arthurwerner.com/

If the move is in NJ or NY, "Flat Rate" is also highly recommended. http://www.flatrate.com/

Ask about replacement insurance. It is optional but worth getting (about 1% value of household goods) and will give you peace of mind in case of damge. The standard insurance provided free of charge has minimum coverage and pays very little.

IF YOU STILL WANT TO MOVE AND WANT A NICE SUBURB NEAR NYC

If you want to look in NYC or near - Try contacting moms in the NYC area for up to the minute ideas on the best places to live - Baby Bites is an excellent online resource. I think you can post your question there too.
http://www.babybites.com/about/about-us/

This site provides great overview of things to do in NY and different neighborhoods.
http://newyorkkids.timeout.com/

New York magazine had an excellent article about this October 7, 2002 - "10 Suburbs you can afford" - nice neighborhoods, good schools, easy commutes. This might be a good starting point. (For links to each town with in-depth info on each please check my answer at http://www.mamapedia.com/questions/4972888158665506817 )

- Montclair, NJ - 29 min to Penn station

- Maplewood, NJ - 20 miles to midtown Manhattan, 25 to 35 min to Penn

- Katonah, NY - 46 miles to midtown Manhattan, about 1 hour commute

- Dix Hills, NY - 36 miles to " ", about 1 hour to Penn

- Montville, NJ - 33 miles to " ", about 50 min to Penn

- Ossining, NY - 36 miles to " ", about 48 min - 1 hour to Penn

- Pelham, NY - 17 miles to " ", about 29 min to Grand Central

- Larchmont, NY - 21 miles to " ", about 40 min to Grand Central

- Cold Spring Harbor, NY - 35 miles to " ", about 1 hour to Penn

- Milford, CT 66 miles to " ", about 90 min to Grand Central

IF YOUR HUSBAND WILL HAVE A LONG COMMUTE

Our offices were in NJ and my commute was almost two hours by train from CT. I was fortunate to be able to work from home full time through my first pregnancy- if your husband can arrange a similar arrangement it would be great. Co-workers (men) who came in from PA, sometimes with two hours commutes, soon were to exhausted to continue and decided to rent near their work to be able to afford a bigger home for their families.

I just want to respond about your husband's commute. 3 hours a day on the road is a lot and it will really add up over the weeks (of time him not being home) That would be 10 extra hours per week, 43 extra hours gone per month. Not to mention the wear and tear on the car. Perhaps he could look for a job closer to home?

I would say the commute is too long for hubby and it will take a toll on him and his ability to be with the family and have energy to help out. You will be alone a lot more and it will take a toll on you too. Surely the school district is very important too, but for the house, it is not nearly important as your husband's well being and your family time together, so that should really be the last priority. We live in a house a bit too small and is older, but I would not change location for a newer house if it meant me or hubby would have to drive 3 or more hours a day for work. Just my two cents on the matter, and good luck to you!

1 1/2 hr is common for comute ex Staten Island manhattan but it is straining on everything